I’m not trying to be an asshole. Think about this before answering.
Atheists … what if you die and you find out it is all real? God, the Bible, Jesus, death on a cross, resurrection … all of it. What then?
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More Copypastas
Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass
I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass.
I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me.
The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
Confessions
The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed
twitchquotes:
The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed, the countless years of oatmeal infighting finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Chat "K"
twitch chat
MOONMOON
1 Kappa = 1 Prayer
twitchquotes:
Don't forget. As Kaceytron once said... Forsen is a 19 year old Russian fanboy that has obvious drug and alcohol problems. Let's all share this message to let people be aware of the danger of being a roleplaying streamer. 1 
= 1 Prayer.
= 1 Prayer.
twitch chat
Forsen
WTF IS MEGALUL?
twitchquotes:
We have the perfect three letter emote for a british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the 
emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could at the 
fags but now 
has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could at the fags but now has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
Forsen
10 years since Dota 2 update
twitchquotes:
１０ ｙｅａｒｓ ｓｉｎｃｅ Ｄｏｔａ ２ ｕｐｄａｔｅ． Ｉ ｗａｌｋ ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ ｔｈｅ ｅ ｍｐｔｙ ｓｔｒｅｅｔｓ ｔｒｙｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｔｈｉｎｋ ｏｆ ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ ｅｌｓｅ ｂｕｔ Ｉ ａｌｗａｙｓ ｅｎｄ ｕｐ ｓｉｔｔｉｎｇ ｈｅｒｅ， ｉｎ ｆｒｏｎｔ ｏｆ ｍｙ ｃｏｍｐ ｕｔｅｒ． Ｉ ｓｔａｒｅ ａｔ ｔｈｅ ｓｃｒｅｅｎ ｆｏｒ ｈｏｕｒｓ ａｎｄ ｔｒｙ ｔｏ ｓ ｕｍｍｏｎ Icefrog． Ｉ ｗａｔｃｈ ｏｔｈｅｒ ｇａｍｅｓ ｕｐｄａｔｉｎｇ ａｎｄ ｇｅ ｔｔｉｎｇ ｎｅｗ ｈｅｒｏｅｓ ｂｕｔ ｉｔ ｉｓ ｎｏ ｇｏｏｄ． Ｉ ｃｏｕｎｔｅｒ ｐｉｃｋ Ｓｎｉｐｅｒ ｔｏ ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｔｈｅ ｍｅｔａ， ｂｕｔ ｉｔ'ｓ ａｌｌ ｍｅａｎｉｎｇｌｅ ｓｓ． Ｔｈｅ ｅｎｄ ｉｓ ｎｅａｒ． Ｔｈｅｎ Ｉ ｌｏｏｋ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｐａｔｃｈ－ｕｐｄａ ｔｅ ｈｉｓｔｏｒｙ ａｎｄ ｃｒｙ ｍｙｓｅｌｆ ｔｏ ｓｌｅｅｐ．
twitch chat
SingSing