I used to be a real ad
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hi im greek

twitchquotes: hi im greek... as you probably guessed in m name.. plz have respect for this comment and read on.. if ou don't like it plz dont hate. My economy is not going well and effing Germans are trying to take over so I need help. Bjerg promised for every subscriber 0.0000199 % money would go towards me. Thank you for my message and plz subscribe bjerg... he is the best and better ( not german even better!)
twitch chat
July 2014
Bjergsen

Shooting a donger

twitchquotes: (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) ︻╦̵══╤─ ヽ(`Д´)ノ
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

My dong strong and hard as diamond

twitchquotes: No one believed in my dong, but when I raised it, QTpie saw it and found a shred of potential in it. Then he believed. And all the others did as well. QTpie believes, and now so do I. I shall climb these mountains of Gold, destroy those Platinum plebs, and then, and only then, my dong will be strong and hard. As a diamond.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Dennis in a time machine

twitchquotes: The year is 1945. “Dennis,” Kripp speaks breathlessly into the night. “Get back to the time machine. We have what we need here.” A foul smirk plays upon his lips as he pockets a top-secret Nazi folder marked “Top Deck.” Lightning flashes and thunder crashes far across the German mountains. “We will see who says "Salt" now,” he says….
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Imagine getting BOO'd by Aurateur

twitchquotes: Imagine getting BOO'd by Aurateur. Literally instantly you get disintegrated. Before you can even react, every fiber of your being is atomized and lost to a mere button press. Every memorable moment of your life and all hope of a future is wasted in this brief moment a BALD Texan disliked your level. In a flash your existence is nothing but a poof. Thereafter, the BALD Texan continues on, swiftly forgetting of your existence, you having been nothing but an obstacle in his way.
twitch chat
July 2020
Aurateur
I used to be a real ad

Dear kripp. My daughter is a very big salt fan

twitchquotes: Dear kripp. My daughter is a very big salt fan, and I was wondering if you can call her name, her pretty little name, its "HAFU"out with your strong, vegan voice. please don't copy paste this, it's personal...
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk

Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk. This is proven by the name "Alvin and the Chipmunks", as you can see, Alvin is separated from the chipmunks, suggesting that Alvin is an entirely different species, making him an "imposter" amongst the others. Also, in "The Chipettes", Brittney has the strongest resemblance to Alvin, so why is it not called "Brittney and the Chipettes". So all that proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk. Not to mention that Alvin wears red, and I'm not sure about you, but that seems awfully sus to me. In the video game "Among us", the color red is was the birth of the obnoxious catchphrase, "red sus", being that the color red in the game is a stereotype that they are the imposter. While that might be unrelated, keep in mind that Alvin wears red too, and he is also the imposter amongst the other chipmunks. So this proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk, or anything like that. Alvin is just a sussy amogus imposter.
October 2021

I'm the Russian Fairy

twitchquotes: IM The Russian Fairy And I have Blessed This Chat With Suka Blyat 乁༼◔‿◔✿༽ㄏ ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸  ★ 3
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019

bestest tf

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is dongerino. I want to be the bestest TF just like OLDSCHOOL GG. I still work in banana factory as i m banana. I want to move to america land of FREEEEEDOM to live american dream. However i scared that best wukong reginald will eat me. Plz no copy dongerino my life story I got a dreamo al pacino stevo-o mike the situation sorrentino
twitch chat
July 2014
TSM_Reginald

League of Legends

What happened to this ad? :(

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it? Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection. Erection. The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights. But what is "gay"? To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow. But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay. Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
August 2021

Bowling simulator: E-Bowler

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Kenneth Jizbombski, president of Viral Games, Inc. Recently sales of our most popular Bowling simulator "E-Bowler" have plummeted. Please help my small company by going out and getting E-Bowler any way that you can. I want E-Bowler to spread infecting people with it's incredible gameplay!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Lea moans over Reynad's powerful Hearthstone thighs

twitchquotes: Lᴇᴀ ɪs ᴍᴏᴀɴɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛʜʀᴜsᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀғᴜʟ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛʜsᴛᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜɪɢʜs ᴀɴᴅ 8.5 ɪɴᴄʜ (ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀsᴇ) ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ. Sʜᴇ sᴄʀᴇᴀᴍs ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴏʟʟ ʜᴇʀ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏᴘ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ʜᴇʀ. Hᴇʀ ᴍᴏɪsᴛ ᴛᴏᴍᴀᴛᴏ sᴀᴜᴄᴇ ɢᴜsʜᴇs ᴀʟʟ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪs ᴀs sʜᴇ ʀᴜɴs ʜᴇʀ ғɪɴɢᴇʀɴᴀɪʟs ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴋᴇᴅ, ʜᴀɪʀʟᴇss, ʙᴏʏ-ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴄʜᴇsᴛ. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant. 3 years later, NFLX fucking tanks 20% after earnings.
January 2022

WallStreetBets

How do you think we will conquer Ukraine

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad I'm a military strategist in Mother Russia, how do you think we will conquer Ukraine
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad
I used to be a real ad

How will this effect my embroidery frame?

twitchquotes: Hey reynad i'm an artist, i fucked up my picture, how will this effect my embroidery frame?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

60 fps is too smooth

twitchquotes: Who cares! It is a scientific fact that the human eye cannot tell the difference. In fact i'd argue that 60 fps looks worse. 60 fps is too smooth, it's like petting a shark, the scales (frames) are too smooth so it cuts your hand (eyes), while 30 fps is nice and stable and gives you a better immersion because the frames travel a longer distance so the world looks bigger
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

The true glory of Moonmoon's improvised story-telling

twitchquotes: Wow. Just wow. After witnessing the true glory of improvised story-telling as presented by MOONMOON_OW, my life has changed to such a degree that I am no longer able to sleep soundly, knowing that there are people out there who are still trying to do just as good. It is no surprise; the god gamer, also a god roleplayer, is truly astounding with his ability. - Barrack Obama
twitch chat
May 2019
MOONMOON

Obey the call of Kel'Thuzad!

twitchquotes: ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ Minions, servants, soldiers of the cold dark, obey the call of Kel’Thuzad!ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad

cant understand how you have a popular stream

twitchquotes: cant understand how you have a popular stream. you keep saying “i dont even know what im doing” and it shows. you’re strats... wait do you have any? doesn’t seem like it. you just seem consistantly terrible. dunno why people watch you. you’re not entertaining or educating or anything... just another garbage ARAM player... lost a potential watcher for... literally anyone else
twitch chat
September 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing