[Copypasta] That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. Kreygasm He could be a Calvin Klein model. Kreygasm Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. Kreygasm That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. Kreygasm
twitch chat
October 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay

Recently, I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay. It all started a week ago. I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, when all of a sudden, a big shit turd comes out of my ass. It was huge. Big big. It’s so fucking big, I gotta look down into the toilet to check for blood. No blood, but the turd is fucking massive. I notice something strange about it. The end of the turd, sticking out of the water, looks like a dick head. A penis head. Needless to say, I was concerned. How could this be? I picked it up from the water, and put it back up my ass. To my surprise, it felt good. I then shit it back into the water. Splash. I then repeated this a few more times, moaning out “Oscar Winning actor Anthony Hopkins” each time. I am not sure if I am now gay. My boyfriend says it’s completely normal, but he’s gay, so I can’t trust him.
May 2021

SCP Jerma

Item #: SCP-985-J Object Class: Euclid Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance. Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state. SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment. Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact". SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on ██/██/201█ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
January 2022
Jerma985

Kripp forgot about shredder placement

twitchquotes: Pupparrian scampers excitedly as Kripp carries the new bird cage. "Here you go, Birdarrian," says Kripp as he hangs the cage in the office. Unfortunately, Pupparian's joyful romping caused kripp to stumble, the cage bursting open and Birdarrian falling helplessly into the merciless jaws of the paper shredder sitting below the cage. "Oh no," gasps Kripp, "I forgot about shredder placement!"
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Play the greatest game of all time, Cookie Clicker

twitchquotes: Kripp, you are called casual all day everyday and I say it is time to stop. If you truly wish to play a mans game, Play the greatest game of all time, Cookie Clicker. Nothing is more hardcore and less p2w than the masterpiece that is cookie clicker. Play that on stream and never be called casual ever again.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

At least I feel safe with Tyler

twitchquotes: My dad beats me FeelsBadMan My mom beats me FeelsBadMan My brother beats me FeelsBadMan My sister beats me FeelsBadMan At least I feel safe with Tyler, because he can't beat anyone FeelsGoodMan
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

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