[Copypasta] That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. Kreygasm He could be a Calvin Klein model. Kreygasm Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. Kreygasm That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. Kreygasm
twitch chat
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta!

Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta! What a game changer! I'm sure the 5 measly lines of text you just posted are going to be the next big copypasta in no time! This is hilarious! Great Stuff! I can really see this being the next big thing! It's gonna be the next "Navy Seal" or "Penguin Of Doom", I can feel it! I love how short and boring it was! Extra points for being extremely forgettable with no interesting lines, a complete lack of tone, and, as I mentioned earlier, an extremely compact 30 to 40 word length! You know what you should do? You should, unprompted, post this godawful pasta in the comments of a post on a separate subreddit and when people downvote you you can post it to r/AteThePasta! Now that would be funny! Almost as funny as the pasta itself, which, may I remind you, is extremely short! God I can't believe you came up with this all on your own! Thanks so much for this! It's truly a gift! And it made me realise that no matter how hard I try I will never find a copypasta as funny as this roughly 30 word paragraph that has already been forgotten by the 47 people who upvoted it, and the 20 people who commented !thesaurizethis over and over again! And I should give up all hope of coming up with such a great pasta in my life, so I'm simply going to kill myself tonight! This is your fault! Your copypasta made me kill myself! I'm going to write your reddit username in my suicide note, as well as the entire copypasta, which I should have no trouble fitting on the page since it's so fucking short! Thanks again! 😁
May 2022

Are you really shitting on Pokémon Unite bro?

Are you really shitting on Pokémon Unite bro? That’s pretty fucking cringe. This is a highly skilled game that requires teamwork. Communication. Hard work. Blood. Sweat. Tears. If your puny mind fails to see this game is all about skill then just go back to playing baby ass LoL you fucking pleb.
July 2021

AITA for invading Ukraine?

Using my alt account because of personal reasons. So anyway, I[69M(literally)] am a high government official of a country with a strong military. Anyway, I am clinically diagnosed with Invasiontia[for anyone who doesn't know it's meaning, it basically means my mind forces me to invade countries, very few people are diagnosed with it(like Adolf Hitler), so i guess it makes me quirky uwu], so i really can't be the one to blame. I do what i like, usually, but people often judge me for living my life on my own terms. My distant relative, who has a history of playing fortnite and being antivax, being a furry, pedophile, and being a baby yoda hater called me today and abused me verbally, and told me what i was doing was wrong. I was heartbroken by their words. Not only that, Emily[She/They 13 diagnosed with 255 mental illnesses] made a really mean tweet against me today. She compared me to Hitler (I know Hitler and I have the same mental illness, but it doesn't mean I am as much of an asshole like he is, right?). All this negativity is severely affecting my mental health(i come from a country where mental health isn't given a lot of importance and also my country isn't very supportive of gay people), and i am now contemplating suicide by shooting myself in the head. Everyone thinks i am an asshole, what do you think reddit? AITA?
March 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Russian Ukrainian War

Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A. It has come to my attention that you brutally brofisted a small defenseless Kitten in its adorable face live on your stream moments ago. If you do not apologize and rub his little tum tum for 20 minutes on stream, I will be forced to punish you to the fullest extent of the law. You've been warned...
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Do British people even exist?

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
December 2020

British People

Classic

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