[Copypasta] That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. Kreygasm He could be a Calvin Klein model. Kreygasm Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. Kreygasm That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. Kreygasm
twitch chat
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Hey man, it's Mark from History 101

twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Setsuko, the crybaby of TFT

twitchquotes: Setsuko, the crybaby of TFT, graces us with a melodramatic "HELP! HELP!, LIKE PLEASE!" as he navigates the turbulent seas of RNG. Oh, and let's not forget his profound insight: "THIS SHIT COMPANY." A true visionary, leading us to eighth place with unparalleled wisdom. "IS IT MY FAULT?" he ponders, as the drama unfolds. And then, in a moment of clarity, he poses the existential question: "Do you guys hate me?". Setsuko, the unsung hero of TFT! xddFRAUD
twitch chat
January 2024

Teamfight Tactics

Evil anime laugh

⠻⣦⡈⠛⢿⡌⢆⢂⠹⣿⣧⡄⡄⠹⡄⢆⡟⢄⠉⢟⣮⣷⢄⠐⢤⡤⢤⣬⣭⣭ ⣷⣤⠙⣶⣦⠙⡌⢻⠂⠘⣿⣷⢹⠄⢳⠘⣿⡟⣿⡄⢳⡆⢳⠛⢢⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛ ⢿⣿⣷⣀⠈⠓⠌⠂⠘⢆⠈⢙⣎⢣⠘⡆⢣⡛⣿⡇⢀⡙⠚⠶⠶⠿⠷⠶⠒⠒ ⣾⠿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣁⣀⣠⡀⠡⠄⠳⡛⢆⠱⠈⢧⣿⡇⠸⠟⠉⠐⠠⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿ ⣿⣷⣬⣉⣛⣛⠛⠿⠿⣧⣷⣦⣄⠘⢿⡆⠡⠘⣀⡇⢠⣶⣷⣮⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⢿⡀⠄⠉⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣦⡙⠄⠄⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⣿⣿⣷⣌⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣀⡨⣝⡻⠿⣻⣿⣧⣄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠘⣿⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡿⢿⠿⣛⡃⠄⣸⣿ ⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣷⣶⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿⢇⣈⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣜⢿⣭⢻⣿⣿⣿⣯⢧⠙⢻⠛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠟⣛⣥⣶⣼⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣎⠿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⡌⢷⣆⢭⣓⣒⣒⣛⣣⣶⠞⣵⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣾⡟⣵⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣤⣻⡘⣿⣿⣿⣷⡜⢻⣮⣛⣛⣟⣫⡿⣛⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣣⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡙⠛⠛⠛⢛⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼⢫⣵⣿⣿
ascii art
December 2018

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

Sorry I dropped my bag of doritos

twitchquotes: ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ sorry I dropped my bag of doritos
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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