[Copypasta] That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. Kreygasm He could be a Calvin Klein model. Kreygasm Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. Kreygasm That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. Kreygasm
twitch chat
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Ruining my twitch chat experience

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my twitch chat experience. I come to the twitch chat for mature conversation about the gameplay, only to be awarded with kappa faces and frankerzs. People who spam said faces need medical attention utmost. The twitch chat is serious business, and the mods should really raise their dongers.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

John Xina needs your credit card info

🚨🚨CALLING ALL TENCENT GAMERS🚨🚨 JOHN XINA πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ¦LOST HIS SOCIAL CREDIT 🀯 🀭AND NEEDS YOUR HELP TO GET IT BACK πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ ALL HE NEEDS IS THE 1️⃣2️⃣ DIGITS ON YOUR SOCIAL CREDIT CARD πŸ’³ ALONG WITH THE EXPIRATION DATE πŸ“… AND THOSE 3️⃣ WACKY DIGITS ON THE BACK πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ¦
November 2021

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
August 2021

mommy! kripp just read my message!

twitchquotes: haHAA : mommy! kripp just read my message! HotPokket : who's kripp honey? haHAA : A mid-aged man , playing cartoon games to entertain children, BabyRage here's a picture of him. HotPokket Clap KKona Clap way to go son \ haHAA /
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

I identify as a meme

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a meme. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being uploaded onto the imgur website and linked into the reddit threads. People say to me that a person being a meme is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a computer scientist put my brain into my computer like johnny depp in transendence, equipping me with the dankest of pictures from the internet. From now on I want you guys to call me "Sir Danks-a-lot" and respect my right to meme from above and meme needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a memephobe and need to check your internet privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
January 2015

I sexually Identify as

Text-to-Speech Playing