[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Tuck Frump

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░▀█▀░█░░█░█▀▀░█░█▀░░░░░ ░░░░░█░░█░░█░█░░░█▀▄░░░░░░ ░░░░░▀░░▀▀▀▀░▀▀▀░▀░▀▀░░░░░ ░░█▀▀░█▀█░█░░█░█▄░▄█░█▀█░░ ░░█▀▀░██▀░█░░█░█░▀░█░█▀▀░░ ░░█░░░█░█░█▄▄█░█░░░█░█░░░░
November 2014
Forsen

Last night I had a dream

twitchquotes: Last night I had a dream that whenever I typed something in Forsen's channel, everyone copied and pasted it, and then Forsen got really mad at me for starting spam. After that he banned me and I felt really bad for it, so my only option to apologize to him was to suck his sweadish meatballs. Sorry Forskin!
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Only the chosen can ride this beautiful elephant

twitchquotes: PogChamp only the chosen can ride this beautiful elephant RNCelephant
twitch chat
August 2016
Reynad

I'm sure Kripp just thinks this is just a wall of text

twitchquotes: I'm sure Kripp just thinks this is just a wall of text. He will just skip over this as just another "copy pasta" I bet. This message is very important and I am triggered that Kripp will just skip over it. Copy paste this message to make Kripp read this meaningful message
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Among Us is ruining my fucking life

I can't fucking take it any more. Among Us has singlehandedly ruined my life. The other day my teacher was teaching us Greek Mythology and he mentioned a pegasus and I immediately thought 'Pegasus? more like Mega Sus!!!!' and I've never wanted to kms more. I can't look at a vent without breaking down and fucking crying. I can't eat pasta without thinking 'IMPASTA??? THATS PRETTY SUS!!!!' Skit 4 by Kanye West. The lyrics ruined me. A Mongoose, or the 25th island of greece. The scientific name for pig. I can't fucking take it anymore. Please fucking end my suffering.
August 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing