[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
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May 2019

Hey dad, you never answered any of my calls all day

twitchquotes: Hey dad, you never answered any of my calls all day. Still waiting for you to pick up me and Cattarian from the "Foster Care" fun park that you left us at a few months ago. Tell Motherania that we miss her too. If you dont pick us up soon we'll be forced to work in the salt mines. Love, Kripp Jr
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

At least you have a life

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Kripp, you may suck at Hearthstone but at least you have a girlfriend. I bet these people beating you have no life (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

No one this year has a chance against TL

twitchquotes: Hate to break it to you, but no one this year has a chance against TL. They are easily the best team in the world this year, and its easy to see why. You have Impact, former world champion and the tank god ready to reclaim his title, and there is nothing that will stand in his way. Xmithie, the legendary jungle who knows the ins and outs of every single part of the game, ask him how much damage krugs will do to Anivia jungle at level 2 with just the starting item? He knows. Ask him where Mlxg will be at 20:43 into the game when its only 10:12? He can give you an area accurate to withing 500 units. You have Jensen, easily clapping perkz, caps, and your mum, as well as dominating the inferior Chinese and Korean mids. You have Doublelift, so called because he can carry twice as hard as any other ADC in the game, backed up by CoreJJ, a world champion who is so accurate with his Thresh hooks Riot had to program in a random number generator just to make sure he misses at least 20% of them to keep it fair to the enemy. Anyone who thinks EU, China, Korea, or any other team has a chance this year is straight up wrong.
twitch chat
August 2019

League of Legends

Red crew mate

🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥
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May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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