[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014

Every game is equally pointless

twitchquotes: Every game is equally pointless. You can't put this *** on a resume or anything, so what does it matter if you play online chess or LoL? Unless you're a professional and making mad cash off the game, it doesn't matter what you play.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

forsenPirate

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠑⠢⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣤⣾⢿⣿⣧⢠⣤⡀⠄⠄⠉⠒⠠⢄⣀⣀⣀⣻⣿⣿ ⠑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣳⣿⣷⣿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠈⠒⠤⠄⢀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠟⠁⠷⠾⠝⠶⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣵⡶⠶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠄⠾⠿⣶⡄⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⢀⣀⠄⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣯⣴⢦⣼⢳⡄⣿⣿⢫⣿⣀⠘⡛⢿⡛⢷⣤⣜⡻⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣜⣫⣿⢶⣟⡽⣿⠡⣶⣗⡲⠖⣯⠼⣿⡿⢗⣨⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠿⣏⣾⡿⠗⠿⠷⠉⢻⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⣤⠟⢻⢥⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣚⠕⠄⠤⣬⣿⣤⣤⠄⠄⠌⠳⣽⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⢄⣉⢀⣠⣴⣶⣾⣶⣿⡗⢹⣿⣏⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⣮⣍⠙⢿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣠⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢸⣟⠸⠿⠋⣴⣶⣄ ⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⡟⠃⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠃⠐⠉⠁⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⡤⠚⣠⣾⣿⠟⠄⣤⢠⣤⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⣴⣿⠿⠉⠄⠄⡟⠘⣿⠄⠻⠾⠷⠶⣶⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Inappropriate humor

twitchquotes: All of this “dick humor” is highly Inappropriate, my dick is 2.462 feet long and still growing, all of you twitch “charters” can’t even compensate the size
twitch chat
April 2019

His name is NINJA, a super small time streamer

twitchquotes: can I promote my friends Mixer stream in here? His name is NINJA and he is a super small time streamer, he just left twitch and could really use all the help he can get. I just want to like his stream a couple times bro, nothing serious bro I just don't want him to go hungry bro. He's going back to his roots and I really want to help him out bro
twitch chat
August 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing