[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Hello Kripp, I am a casual player

twitchquotes: (ง ◉◡◔)ง Hello Kripp. I am a casual player who always managed to get 1-3 in arena. I wanted to know if you want to hire me, I could train you to be better in arena, and maybe one day, you could manage to have 1-3 as I do. My prices are 15$ per hour. Just PM me if you are interested. (ง ◉◡◔)ง
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Chat tries to convince Kripp to play Weasel Tunneler

twitchquotes: 🐿 Every minute, a poor weasel dies from starvation due to unemployment. You, yes, YOU nl_Kripp, can make a difference. By playing at least one weasel in every deck, you ensure a living wage for weasels worldwide. Then again, you could just let them starve, the choice is yours 🐿
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Discord logo v2

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⡤⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠁⢤⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠻⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2021

Discord

Is that insider trading?

If you're a passenger on a newly recertified 737MAX and it starts to nosedive into the sea so you buy shitloads of BA puts over WiFi before impact, is that insider trading?
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Rania came to the wrong dongerhood

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD, RANIA ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing