[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I am Bamalama Shmamahdu, from the Congo

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, I am Bamalama Shmamahdu, from the Congo. We regret to inform you that your shipment of child solders may be a bit late this month due to a shipping error. We are very sorry for this inconvenience, and you will receive AIDS, free of charge as our way of saying sorry.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
June 2020

It's pride month,Coming out as impostersexual.

It's pride month and I a 14 year old white girl have decided that I'm sexually attracted to among us,I cannot hold my feelings for the sussy imposter anymore. SUS SUS SUS,there I came,and it was there that I knew,it was the second cuming of Jesus Christ.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I am a degree 6 zoosexual

twitchquotes: I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.
twitch chat
January 2015

I sexually Identify as

Buff Doge

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⣤⠈⢿⣿⡿⠋⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⢸⣿⣷⠦⢀⣤⡚⠂⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⡾⠋⠀⢼⣥⡘⠃⣤⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀⣦⡄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⣤⣄⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢠⡾⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⣰⣿⡗⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠉⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠤⠴⠲⣲⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠄⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠲⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈ ⡟⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄ ⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠑⠀⠀⠀⢀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠾⠛⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃ ⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠲⠀⠠⠄⠠⠴⠟⠒⠂⢀⡈⠁⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠙⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠈⠈⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠄⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠐⠂⠤⠀⠐⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⣿⣿⡇⠀⠞⠁⠂⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠠⠤⠀⠀⠀⡢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⣿⣿⡇⠀⠲⢮⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠤⠀⠄⠀⠀⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢡⠇⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠣⡀⢹⣿⡇⠀⠓⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠒⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠸⠇⠀⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾ ⣿⣿⣦⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠙⠇⠸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠖⠀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⣀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢠⡆⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⠿⠀⣼⡐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢠⢂⣿⣷⡇⢠⠀⠀⠀⡐⠀⠀⣧⣤⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⢠⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⡇⠸⢄⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⢁⣾⣿⣿⡇⠸⠣⠀⠴⠅⠀⡄⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣷⡄⣠⣤⣄⡀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣉⡿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣼⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠠⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠁⠀⣀⣤⣤⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
March 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing