[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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ＦＡＫＥＲ ＲＩＧＨＴ ＩＮ ＴＨＥ ＰＵＳＳＹ

twitchquotes: ＦＡＫＥＲ ＲＩＧＨＴ ＩＮ ＴＨＥ ＰＵＳＳＹ
twitch chat
August 2014
ognglobal

It seems you've tarried Mrump

twitchquotes: Do you take Rania to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asks the priest. Kripp smiles as he slips the ring on her finger. "Yes I do," he says, squinting in the glare of a foggy day. The priest says, "You may kiss the bride." as the crowd cheers. Kripp lifts Rania's veil and recoils in horror. Trump smirks, "It seems you've tarried Mrump."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

I'm currently crushing on someone in Highschool

twitchquotes: Hey, everyone. I'm currently crushing on someone in Highschool and we are both freshman. So the thing is I'm kinda shy when asking out people and my courage rn is like Bronze level of weak. I want to ask her out on a date or just see how she really feels about me. Another difficult thing too is that I'm a C9 fan and she is a TSM fan . Do you guys have any advice for me???
twitch chat
March 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

Dyrus in Jail

twitchquotes: Hello it is me Dyrus, from jail. This article was super superino I loved it as much as I love coach wukong. I hope this comment will make people help me get out of jailerino. Phant0mlord is always loud as a ziggs on cocoon and dexter breath smells like weederino. Pls no copy pasterino
twitch chat
April 2014
Dyrus

Failed Tanner

twitchquotes: So you're going by "moonmoon_ow" now buddy? Haha what's up cool guy, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? I'm so sorry me and the guys gave you a hard time in school. My therapist says I was jealous of your big brain, lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the girl you had a crush on? We married but divorced this year. She took the dog. I'm unemployed and I drive the same mustang GT from senior year. I'm lucky if its starts. Things really changed huh? Could you loan me a sub?
twitch chat
August 2019

Tanner from High School

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