[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

"Just one more" Kripp muttered

twitchquotes: "Just one more" Kripp muttered, as the sun slowly rose over the Canadian horizon. His forehead dripping with Vegan sweat, his eyes droopy with fatigue, Rania at the door with suitcases of her stuff and signed divorce papers, and Dex a mere pile of starved bones, Kripp once again clicked the Queue button with Ashka at the ready. "This time I'll get MVP for sure."
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Battlerite

Hands Up emoji

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⠻⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⡟⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠙⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⠋⠀⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠛⠉⠉⠿⠉⠉⠛⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣦⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿
February 2020

Art of Conquest is such an amazing FREE game!

twitchquotes: Art of Conquest is such an amazing FREE game! (Thanks for joining our Conquest Loyalty Rewards Program! Your selected channel is: nl_kripp. The more you post this message in his chat, the bigger your rewards! 1 Post = 10k Gold/Mana/Wood. 5 Posts = 50k Basic Resources + 3x 8 Hour Rush. 40 Posts = 750k Basic Resources + 20k Rare Resources + 21x 8 Hour Rush. Please remove this part before posting or your program will be terminated!)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

RENGER needs to be BANNED. YOU do NOT want to catch A BOLA

twitchquotes: You all should be aware of this great danger going on. From now on RENGAR needs to be banned in every game you play. YOU do NOT want to catch A BOLA
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

NA WHY SO QUIET?

twitchquotes: LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL
twitch chat
November 2018

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing