[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I pay much $$ to spam

twitchquotes: Dear mod. If u ban me. u mad kripp. i pay $5. I pay much $$ to spam. Please respect my Footlong of $5. If i spam u say ok, and not ban me. I pay $5 u. can. not. ban. me. (no copy or pasterino)
twitch chat
October 2014

MODS

Can you please stop making me sweat for more salt?

twitchquotes: reynad, everytime I watch you I start sweating, I believe this is because you have the power to harvest salt through my pores even through the internet, can you please stop making me sweat for more salt?
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

salty

Hydra

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March 2020

Attention all Fortnite gamers, Trump needs you!

twitchquotes: Attention all fornite gamers. President Trump is in trouble and needs your help. Grab your pickaxes and get that quick build on. We need your Fortnite building skills to get that border wall up. Quick! find the nearest quad crasher and join Ninja in keeping those migrants out and America safe.
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

ASS 2

March 2021

NSFW

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