[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

THIS USED TO BE A 2016 STREAM

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan THIS USED TO BE A 2016 STREAM FeelsBadMan THIS USED TO BE A 2016 STREAM FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
January 2017

Find out how old is your waifu

twitchquotes: 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 28 30 find out how old is your waifu ⎝ PedoBear
twitch chat
June 2016

Spooky skeleton

▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░▄▐░░░░ ▒░░░░░░▄▄▄░░▄██▄░░░ ░░░░░░▐▀█▀▌░░░░▀█▄░ ░░░░░░▐█▄█▌░░░░░░▀█▄ ░░░░░░░▀▄▀░░░▄▄▄▄▄▀▀ ░░░░░▄▄▄██▀▀▀▀░░░░░ ░░░░█▀▄▄▄█░▀▀░░░░░░ ░░░░▌░▄▄▄▐▌▀▀▀░░░░░ ░▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀░░░░░ ░▀█▌░░░▄░▀█▀░▀░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▄▄▐▌▄▄░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▀███▀█░▄░░░ ░░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄░░░ ░░░░░░░▐▀░░░░░░▐▌░░ ░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░█░░ ░░░░░░▐▌░░░░░░░░░█░
November 2014

Classic

Ban one 12 year old, get the whole 9gag

twitchquotes: haHAA BAN haHAA ONE haHAA 12 haHAA YEAR haHAA OLD haHAA AND haHAA YOU haHAA GET haHAA THE haHAA WHOLE haHAA 9GAG haHAA
twitch chat
December 2018

Ban X Get The Whole Y

notices you have a bulge

twitchquotes: Rawr~nuzzles how are you daddy? pounces on you you’re so warm. owo? notices you have a bulge. someone’s happy! nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe. rubbies your bulgy wolgy you’re so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn’t stop growing uwu kisses you and lickies your neck. do you likie? im wagging my wittle baby tail all for your bulgy wolgy! come on daddy dont keep me waiting~
twitch chat
October 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing