[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Please pray for Kripp's ears

twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Anime girl 2

░░░████▌█████▌█░████████▐▀██▀ ░▄█████░█████▌░█░▀██████▌█▄▄▀▄ ░▌███▌█░▐███▌▌░░▄▄░▌█▌███▐███░▀ ▐░▐██░░▄▄▐▀█░░░▐▄█▀▌█▐███▐█ ░░███░▌▄█▌░░▀░░▀██░░▀██████▌ ░░░▀█▌▀██▀░▄░░░░░░░░░███▐███ ░░░░██▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐███████▌ ░░░░███░░░░░▀█▀░░░░░▐██▐███▀▌ ░░░░▌█▌█▄░░░░░░░░░▄▄████▀░▀ ░░░░░░█▀██▄▄▄░▄▄▀▀▒█▀█░
October 2016

Weebs

Asmongold’s Defence for Brony Accusation

"Listen. Just because I know who Rainbow Dash is, and I know what Equestria is, and Princess Celestia is, and I- I know uh, other things about the thing too probably I- probably I think about it, I don't know - Just because I know that stuff - Pinkie Pie, yeah, the- I don't- Look, it- I- I'm not- no, sounds like you know the story- of course, LISTEN, what do they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer guys, t- remember- remember how they say that? Wh-what do you- wait, there's nothing wrong with this, it's- it's- that's, SEE? Look guys, yeah, TRUE, TRUE, yep, and absolutely not, nope we're downvoting this one, no, nope nope nope, that's not true, sus-"
April 2022
Asmongold

DUDUDUDUDU

twitchquotes: ~ Kreygasm ~ ~ Kreygasm ~ ~ Kreygasm ~ DUDUDUDUDUDU ~ Kreygasm ~ ~ Kreygasm ~ ~ Kreygasm ~
twitch chat
February 2015
TidesOfTime

In the beginning, Jerma was a loving human being

In the beginning, Jerma showed many signs of being thoughtful, compassionate, and a loving human being. He worked at animal shelters, participated in charities, and created many characters in the Jerma Universe which he loved dearly. However, once Jerma started streaming on Twitch, something changed in him. At first it was a very small change, where he would make occasional threats and insults to his chat, but most of the time he seemed mentally and emotionally stable, just like the old Jerma on YouTube. But he soon began to degrade rapidly on a mental and moral level. It seemed he had grown to hate his chat, hate many of the games he played, hate many of his memes, and began became increasingly greedy for bits. He started having frequent mental breakdowns on stream, where he would throw insults and scream at the top of his lungs for just the smallest things, such as problems running and streaming a video game.
May 2022
Jerma985
Text-to-Speech Playing