[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
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twitchquotes: I WIN BabyRage I LOSE BabyRage I STREAM BabyRage I EAT BabyRage GIMME GIMME BabyRage
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Bowling simulator: E-Bowler

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Kenneth Jizbombski, president of Viral Games, Inc. Recently sales of our most popular Bowling simulator "E-Bowler" have plummeted. Please help my small company by going out and getting E-Bowler any way that you can. I want E-Bowler to spread infecting people with it's incredible gameplay!
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twitchquotes: The Black Rat, Rattus Rattus, was first described by Henrik Ahnberg in his 18th century work “A Dong’s guide to Dota”. An elusive and hardy creature, the rat excels at damaging structures and retreating at the first sign of danger, only to begin its attack anew once the threat has passed. Unlike many of his peers, Ahnberg greatly respected the rat, finding many of its features similar to his own. His love for the rat became so great that he soon left the world of men and descended into the sewers to live among the rats, eventually becoming their king.
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I have to print out chat in order to read it

twitchquotes: Hey guys, my monitor isn't working. I have to print out chat in order to read it. The paper and ink are really expensive, so please don't spam! Thank you.
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