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[Copypasta]Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on
twitchquotes:I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
I used to be a real ad
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Wife attack AITA?
I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
Oh, so you like minecraft? Name every block
Air, stone, granite, polished granite, diorite, polished diorite, andesite, polished andesite, grass, grass path, mycelium, dirt, coarse dirt, podzol, cobblestone, mossy cobblestone, oak wood, spruce wood, birch wood, jungle wood, acacia wood, dark oak wood, oak planks, spruce planks, birch planks, jungle planks, acacia planks, dark oak planks, oak sapling, spruce sapling, birch sapling, jungle sapling, acacia sapling, dark oak sapling, sugar cane, bedrock, sandstone, chiseled sand stone, chiseled res sand stone, smooth red sandstone, red sand stone, smooth sandstone, sand, red sand, gravel, water, lava, magma block, obsidian, coal ore, iron ore, redstone ore, redstone ore when you start to mine it and it lights up, gold ore, lapis ore, diamond ore, emerald ore, nether quartz ore, coal block, iron block, redstone block, gold block, lapis block, diamond block, emerald block, quartz block, chiseled quartz, quartz pillar, slime block, oak leaves, spruce leaves, birch leaves, jungle leaves, acacia leaves, dark oak leaves, sponge, wet sponge, note block, rail, powered rail, detector rail, activator rail, bed, cobweb, dead bush, shrub, tall grass, fern, piston, sticky piston, dandelion, poppy, blue orchid, allium, azure bluet, red tulip, orange tulip, white tulip, pink tulip, oxeye daisy, sunflower, lilac, rose bush, peony, brown mushroom, red mushroom, brown mushroom block, red mushroom block, bricks, TNT, bookshelf, torch, fire, mob spawner, oak stairs, spruce stairs, birch stairs, jungle stairs, acacia stairs, dark oak stairs, sandstone stairs, red sandstone stairs, cobblestone stairs, brick stairs, stone brick stairs, nether brick stairs, quartz stairs, purpur stairs, chest, trapped chest, ender chest, farmland (aka hoed dirt), furnace, lit furnace, sign, sign attached to a wall, oak door, spruce door, birch door, jungle door, acacia door, dark oak door, iron door, trapdoor, iron trapdoor, ladder, lever, stone button, wood button, wood pressure plate, stone pressure plate, light pressure plate/gold pressure plate, heavy pressure plate/iron pressure plate, tripwire, daylight sensor, redstone, redstone torch, redstone torch turned off, redstone comparator, redstone repeater, redstone lamp on, redstone lamp off, dispenser, dropper, observer, hopper, command block, command block repeater, command block chain, snow block, snow layer, ice, packed ice, blue ice, cactus, clay, jukebox, oak fence, spruce fence, birch fence, jungle fence, acacia fence, dark oak fence, oak fence gate, spruce fence gate, birch fence gate, jungle fence gate, acacia fence gate, dark oak fence gate, nether brick fence, nether bricks, red nether bricks, netherack, soul sand, glowstone, bone block, nether wart, nether wart block, cake, stone bricks, mossy stone bricks, cracked stone bricks, chiseled stone bricks, iron bars, melon block, melon stem, pumpkin, pumpkin stem, jack o lantern, vines, water lily, enchantment table, brewing stand, cauldron, end portal frame, end stone, end bricks, end rod, purpur block, purpur pillar, purpur slab and double slab, beetroot, chorus plant, chorus flower, dragon egg, oak slab, spruce slab, birch slab, jungle slab, acacia slab, dark oak slab, stone slab, sandstone slab, cobblestone slab, brick slab, stone brick slab, nether brick slab, quartz slab, red sandstone slab, cacao block, anvil, beacon, cobblestone wall, mossy cobblestone wall, flower pot, carrots, potatoes, hay block, skeleton skull, wither skeleton skull, zombie head, creeper head, white wool, orange wool, magenta wool, light blue wool, yellow wool, lime wool, pink wool, gray wool, light gray wool, cyan wool, purple wool, blue wool, brown wool, green wool, red wool, black wool, terracotta, white terracotta, orange terracotta, magenta terracotta, light blue terracotta, yellow terracotta, lime terracotta, pink terracotta, gray terracotta, light gray terracotta, cyan terracotta, purple terracotta, blue terracotta, brown terracotta, green terracotta, red, terracotta, black terracotta, white glazed terracotta, orange glazed terracotta, magenta glazed terracotta, light blue glazed terracotta, yellow glazed terracotta, lime glazed terracotta, pink glazed terracotta, gray glazed terracotta, silver glazed terracotta, cyan glazed terracotta, purple glazed terracotta, blue glazed terracotta, brown glazed terracotta, green glazed terracotta, red glazed terracotta, black glazed terracotta, white concrete powder, orange concrete powder, magenta concrete powder, light blue concrete powder, yellow concrete powder, lime concrete powder, pink concrete powder, gray concrete powder, light gray concrete powder, cyan concrete powder, purple concrete powder, blue concrete powder, brown concrete powder, green concrete powder, red concrete powder, black concrete powder, white concrete, orange concrete, magenta concrete, light blue concrete, yellow concrete, lime concrete, pink concrete, gray concrete, light gray concrete, cyan concrete, purple concrete, blue concrete, brown concrete, green concrete, red concrete, black concrete, white carpet, orange carpet, magenta carpet, light blue carpet, yellow carpet, lime carpet, pink carpet, gray carpet, light gray carpet, cyan carpet, purple carpet, blue carpet, brown carpet, green carpet, red carpet, black carpet, glass, glass pane, white stained glass, orange stained glass, magenta stained glass, light blue stained glass, yellow stained glass, lime stained glass, pink stained glass, gray stained glass, light gray stained glass, cyan stained glass, purple stained glass, blue stained glass, brown stained glass, green stained glass, red stained glass, black stained glass, white stained glass pane, orange stained glass pane, magenta stained glass pane, light blue stained glass pane, yellow stained glass pane, lime stained glass pane, pink stained glass pane, gray stained glass pane, light gray stained glass pane, cyan stained glass pane, purple stained glass pane, blue stained glass pane, brown stained glass pane, green stained glass pane, red stained glass pane, black stained glass pane, prismarine, prismarine bricks, dark prismarine, white shulker box, orange shulker box, magenta shulker box, light blue shulker box, yellow shulker box, lime shulker box, pink shulker box, gray shulker box, light gray shulker box, cyan shulker box, purple shulker box, blue shulker box, brown shulker box, green shulker box, red shulker box, black, banner, banner attached to a wall, barrier block, ancient debris, block of netherite, basalt, blackstone, blackstone slabs, blackstone stairs, blackstone wall, chiseled polished blackstone, chiseled nether bricks, cracked nether bricks, cracked polished blackstone bricks, crimson button, crimson door, chain, crimson fence, crimson fence gate, crimson hyphae, crimson fungus, crimson nylium, crimson planks, crimson pressure plate, crimson roots, crimson sign (on wall and on floor), crimson slabs, crimson stairs, crimson stem, crimson trapdoor, crying obsidian, gilded blackstone, loadstone, nether gold ore, nether sprouts, polished basalt, polished blackstone, polished blackstone brick slab, polished blackstone brick stairs, polished blackstone brick wall, polished blackstone bricks, polished blackstone button, polished blackstone pressure plate, polished blackstone wall, quartz bricks, respawn anchor, shroomlight, soul campfire, soul fire, soul lantern, soul torch, soul soil, striped crimson hyphae, striped crimson stem, striped warped hyphae, striped warped stem, target block, twisting vines, warped door, warped button, warped fence, warped fence gate, warped fungus, warped fungus on a stick
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest. He then puts on some axe for some Kanye zest and goes to the bar puffing out his Kanye chest. Gets drunk into a Kanye mess and goes home to the the Kanye West part of town. He realized his life was a wreck, and was feeling a little Kanye depressed. “My life sucks he Kanye digressed. He decided to get some Italian to he flew to Kanye Trieste. He got some pasta and started to Kanye digest. You should get some Kanye rest his wife Kanye pressed. Instead he went to a Kanye fest. He then realized he needed to go to Dallas for his competition, so he went to the airport and hopped on Kanye southwest, got some Kanye rest, and the next morning was feeling ready for his Kanye contest. Or at least he Kanye guessed. On the day of the competition he was feeling a little Kanye stressed. But in the end the judges were Kanye impressed. For his performance he was awarded with the Kanye chest, clearly identified with the Kanye crest. There ends the story of Kanye West.
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest. He then puts on some axe for some Kanye zest and goes to the bar puffing out his Kanye chest. Gets drunk into a Kanye mess and goes home to the the Kanye West part of town. He realized his life was a wreck, and was feeling a little Kanye depressed. “My life sucks he Kanye digressed. He decided to get some Italian to he flew to Kanye Trieste. He got some pasta and started to Kanye digest. You should get some Kanye rest his wife Kanye pressed. Instead he went to a Kanye fest. He then realized he needed to go to Dallas for his competition, so he went to the airport and hopped on Kanye southwest, got some Kanye rest, and the next morning was feeling ready for his Kanye contest. Or at least he Kanye guessed. On the day of the competition he was feeling a little Kanye stressed. But in the end the judges were Kanye impressed. For his performance he was awarded with the Kanye chest, clearly identified with the Kanye crest. There ends the story of Kanye West.
