[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp, eat chicken

twitchquotes: Kripp this is Dr. Zeus Stromboloupolous. We need you to immediately star drinking MILK and EAT chicken at least once every week. Otherwise RIP is veganiro pepperoni
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Billy the Puppet (from Saw)

─────▄██▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██▄───── ────███───────────────███──── ───███─────────────────███─── ──███───▄▀▀▄─────▄▀▀▄───███── ─████─▄▀────▀▄─▄▀────▀▄─████─ ─████──▄████─────████▄──█████ █████─██▓▓▓██───██▓▓▓██─█████ █████─██▓█▓██───██▓█▓██─█████ █████─██▓▓▓█▀─▄─▀█▓▓▓██─█████ ████▀──▀▀▀▀▀─▄█▄─▀▀▀▀▀──▀████ ███─▄▀▀▀▄────███────▄▀▀▀▄─███ ███──▄▀▄─█──█████──█─▄▀▄──███ ███─█──█─█──█████──█─█──█─███ ███─█─▀──█─▄█████▄─█──▀─█─███ ███▄─▀▀▀▀──█─▀█▀─█──▀▀▀▀─▄███ ████─────────────────────████ ─███───▀█████████████▀───████ ─███───────█─────█───────████ ─████─────█───────█─────█████ ───███▄──█────█────█──▄█████─ ─────▀█████▄▄███▄▄█████▀───── ──────────█▄─────▄█────────── ──────────▄█─────█▄────────── ───────▄████─────████▄─────── ─────▄███████───███████▄───── ───▄█████████████████████▄─── ─▄███▀───███████████───▀███▄─ ███▀─────███████████─────▀███ ▌▌▌▌▒▒───███████████───▒▒▐▐▐▐ ─────▒▒──███████████──▒▒───── ──────▒▒─███████████─▒▒────── ───────▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒─────── ─────────████░░█████───────── ────────█████░░██████──────── ──────███████░░███████─────── ─────█████──█░░█──█████────── ─────█████──████──█████────── ──────████──████──████─────── ──────████──████──████─────── ──────████───██───████─────── ──────████───██───████─────── ──────████──████──████─────── ─██────██───████───██─────██─ ─██───████──████──████────██─ ─███████████████████████████─ ─██─────────████──────────██─ ─██─────────████──────────██─ ────────────████───────────── ─────────────██──────────────
September 2021

ONLY A TRUE VIEWBOT CAN WEAR THE ANTENNA

twitchquotes: ONLY TheTick A TRUE VIEWBOT CAN WEAR THE ANTENNA MrDestructoid
twitch chat
September 2017

Viewbots

Ok, so I basically fucked my bedroom door.

January 2021

Awesome biceps man

twitchquotes: Awesome biceps man. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation.
twitch chat
January 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing