[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Jokerd I can do whatever I want

twitchquotes: Who do I think I am? Let me tell you who I am. I am world first level 60 in fucking classic wow. I can do whatever the fuck I want. You think I'm a random player? You think I'm a fucking random player? Let me fucking clue you in bitch. I am the the guy who had 350 fucking thousand viewers playing this fucking game. Me, not you. The most views ever on this game. The first guy to hit 60. I can do whatever the fuck I want.
twitch chat
November 2020
JokerdTV

I use this chant to summon Sneaky

twitchquotes: ╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆・ﾟ My di ck is small, my butthole is leaky, I use this chant to summon Sneaky ╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆・ﾟ
twitch chat
March 2016
Sneaky

So you call these things "chips"?

So you call these things "chips"? Instead of crispity crunchy munchie crackerjack snacker nibbler snap crack n pop westpoolchestershireshire queen's lovely jubily delights? That’s rather bit cringe, innit bruv
December 2020

American Freedom speaking to Kripp

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ғʀᴇᴇᴅᴏᴍ. ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ғɪʟᴛᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ʀᴜɪɴɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ sᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ғɪx ɪᴛ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ɪᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴏᴠᴇʀ. sɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇʟʏ *** ****. ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ ***ɪɴᴏ ****ʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground

twitchquotes: Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground, the adult marketplace. You've been ignoring my calls about your outstanding debt of $12.99 for Big Vegan Balls IV. I'm not here to shame or embarrass you for your taste in husky, sweaty man love, but I've got a business to run, and I wouldn't be able to provide you with the entertainment you frequently enjoy if I didn't get paid. Please don't make me revoke your platinum membership.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp
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