[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Cheerio Kripp, this is Nigel from Yogurtcast

twitchquotes: Cheerio Kripp, this is Nigel from Yogurtcast. Oliver and I have some smashing news for you! Your casual playstyle, and ability to endure childrens videogames makes you a proper candidate for the splendid world of Minecraft commentary! Tally ho!
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

AITA For banning my sister from my wedding since she won't follow the dress code?

Hello Reddit UWU my name is fox chan nya~ 🦊 and this September I'm getting married (wiggles tail in excitement) 😍🐈🇷🇺 I'm getting married next week to my alpha horse wolf Shadow Senpai 🐴🐺🥰. The dress code is animal themed but my sister won't do it. She's Vagen😳 and thinks it's bad (cries cutely while Mozart's Symphony No. 40 in G minor plays)🎶🎼♫🎤 (eyes turn red like demon, but not like demon) I want to not invite her 😡😤🤬😈 AITA?
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle

March 2021

NSFW

Hands Up emoji

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⠻⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⡟⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠙⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⠋⠀⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠛⠉⠉⠿⠉⠉⠛⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣦⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿
ascii art
February 2020

AITA for not showing up to my own funeral?

So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cost $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the funeral I heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?
August 2021

AITA

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