[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Fruit towers

twitchquotes: 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑
twitch chat
August 2018

The tragedy of Darth Pepega

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Pepega the Retarded? I thought not. It's not a story the High Elo players would tell you. It's a Silver legend. Darth Pepega was a Dark Lord of the Silver, so boosted and so retarded he could use his Flame to influence the outcome of the game... He had such a knowledge of the flame, he could even keep the ones who tried to carry him from winning. The dark side of the Mental is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught a rioter everything he knew, then the rioter banned him in his sleep. Ironic. He could grant the enemy team LP, but not himself.
twitch chat
August 2019

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

League of Legends

Yearly dongers supply

twitchquotes: ヽ ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Did you know: Most dongers—78 percent of the yearly dongers supply—is made into fedoras. Other industries, mostly electronics, medical, and dental, require about 12 percent. The remaining 10 percent of the yearly dongers supply is used in financial transactions. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

ME ICEFROG ME SPAM NO 700 IF BAN

twitchquotes: OSFrog ME ICEFROG OSFrog ME SPAM OSFrog NO 700 OSFrog IF BAN OSFrog
twitch chat
December 2016

Dota 2

Szechuan sauce at McDonald's

"Hey, do you guys have szechuan sauce?", I ask the low IQ minimum wage slave. "N-no, sir. We just ran out", he muttered. I was overcome with a primal rage. I jump on the counter, screaming "I'm Pickle Rick!”. The 200 IQ crowd chanted in unison, “WUBBALUBBA DUB DUB” whilst beating their chests towards the cowering worker. I put my shirt over my head and let out the purest REEE to show my devotion to Rick. Everyone else REEEs as well. Yes, my brothers, let it all out. The manger comes in and calls the police, he doesn’t understand the mature and intellectual nature of our cries. We Naruto run to the next McDonalds store as we search endlessly for that sauce.
October 2017

Rick and Morty

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