[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

I sexually identify as Harambe

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Harambe. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of living in a gorilla enclosure at Cincinnati zoo and dragging children. People say to me that a person being Harambe is impossible and I'm retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install the name Harambe, harmless intentions and a gorillas body on me. From now on I want you guys to call me "Harambe" and respect my right to roam around the gorilla enclosure and drag around small children. If you can't accept me you're an agrizoophobe and need to check your zoo official privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2016

Harambe

I sexually Identify as

I miss the old Voyboy

twitchquotes: I miss the old Voyboy, SoloQ troll Voyboy. Not playing tanks Voyboy, teamfight flanks Voyboy. I hate the new Voyboy, the never rude Voyboy, family friendly streams Voyboy, the too polite Voyboy, meta slave Voyboy, this is the worst Voyboy. I miss the Curse Voyboy, Akali Nurse Voyboy, 420 burst Voyboy. I gotta say, at that time I'd like to feed Voyboy.
twitch chat
September 2016
Voyboy

League of Legends

Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto and I am begging you to stop drinking so much OJ. Since you became popular on the Twitch our sales have decreased by over 69% because Canadians want to be like you. For *** sake please drink some apple juice! If you continue drinking OJ, I wont be able to feed my family anymore
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Chug jug with you (lyrics)

We got a... 1# Victory Royale, yeah, Fortnite we 'bout to get down (Get down!) Ten kills on the board right now Just wiped out Tomato Town My friend just got downed, I revived him now we're heading southbound Now we're in the Pleasant Park streets, look at the map, go to the marked sheet (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus) He said.. "Hey Broski!", "You got some heals and a shield pot?" "I need healing, and I am only at 1 HP." "Hey dude, sorry!", "I found nothing on this safari." "I checked the upstairs of that house, but not the underneath yet." "There's a chest that's just down there,", "The storm is coming fast and you need heals to prepare!" I've got V-Bucks that I'll spend, more than you can contend. I'm a cool pro Fortnite gamer! Cool.. pro.. Fortnite? (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus) La, la la, la laa ee ya! X2 La, lA AUGHH La laa ee ya! (Will you be my pro Fortnite gamer?) Pro Fortnite Gamer.. Can we get a win this weekend? Take me to Loot Lake! Let's change the game mode and we can Disco Dominate! Let's hop in an ATK, take me to the zone! I'm running kind of low on mats, I need to break some stone! Dressed in all his fancy clothes, He's got Renegade Raider and he's probably a pro! He just shot my back, I turn back and I attack! I just got a Victory Royale, A Victory Royale.. (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus)
March 2021

Fortnite

forsenE

⢸⣿⠿⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣗⣂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⢀⣠⣤⣤⣄⠄⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠫⢁⣥⣤⣤⡁⠢⣤⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠻⣿⠿⠿⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⡇⠛⠉⠍⠉⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣶⣤⡠⠄⠼⠗⠄⢠⣿⣿⡿⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⢛⠛⠥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣅⣐⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣊⣁⠑⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⣤⣔⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣽⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⡿⠁⣠⡾⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣗⠜⠋⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⡿⢻⣿⣦⣼⣷⣦⣤⠭⠍⠉⠙⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠄⣠⡿⢟⢿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠓⠒⠄⠄⠄⠰⠊⠓⠂⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⣿⣿⣿⣁⣠⣤⡀⡄⠄⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠂⠊⠈⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2019
Forsen

Emote

Text-to-Speech Playing