[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Anyone here frawum arizona?

twitchquotes: Anyone here frawum arizona ? KKona Ay recently done caught my ferst alligataw KKona gosh darn it. that there thing done had ovuurr 3 meters in lenght KKona gawd damn rascal kkona
twitch chat
April 2020

Jake has huge RipTires

twitchquotes: Jake has huge RipTires, he is one of the best players in OWL, when Jake isn`t beating up people in Overwatch, he`s beating people in real life so you better think before you speak, peace out.
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Non golden chillwind yeti is unacceptable

twitchquotes: Reynad my lad, I'm quite saddened to see how drab your hearthstone play has become. Is that a NON GOLDEN CHILLWIND YETI FOR CRYING OUT LOUD? God save your barbarian soul, you filthy peasant... I was raised in an age where CLASS was valued. Im going to kaceytrons stream where i know ill find real quality
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

notices you have a bulge

twitchquotes: Rawr~nuzzles how are you daddy? pounces on you you’re so warm. owo? notices you have a bulge. someone’s happy! nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe. rubbies your bulgy wolgy you’re so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn’t stop growing uwu kisses you and lickies your neck. do you likie? im wagging my wittle baby tail all for your bulgy wolgy! come on daddy dont keep me waiting~
twitch chat
October 2020
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