[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

SO MALD v2

██████████████████████████████ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ █▀▀░█▀▀█░░█▄░▄█░▄▀▄░█░░░█▀▄░ ▀▀█░█░░█░░█░▀░█░█▀█░█░░░█░█░ ▀▀▀░▀▀▀▀░░▀░░░▀░▀░▀░▀▀▀░▀▀░░ ██████████████████████████████ ██████████████████████████████
July 2019

Uninstalling valorant

UNINSTALLING VALORANT ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▢   ╭━╮╭━╮╭╮ ╱      ╰━┫╰━┫╰╯╱╭╮      ╰━╯╰━╯ ╱ ╰╯           COMPLETE
June 2021

Valorant

Classic

Here you go again you simp

twitchquotes: Here you go again you simp. pokiYikes If youre so butthurt about poki being the cooler, swagger and more beautiful streamer then why dont you just stop and think about what she means to me. I give her my paycheck. I almost had to take a mortgage out just to buy food but you know what? It doesnt matter. Pokimane reads when I sub each month and she gives me a smile so its worth. Sorry for rambling I just cant deal with you pathetic simps ✋
twitch chat
November 2019
Pokimane

Simps

I'm TimThePlatMan, and this is my ELO

twitchquotes: I'm TimThePlatMan, and this is my ELO. I boost it with my old man lassiz, and my son, Big moon. Every game I play has throws and tilt. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know how I'll throw this game.
twitch chat
November 2016
TimTheTatman

Overwatch

A huge hurricane is coming QTs way

twitchquotes: Its 2019. A huge hurricane is coming QTs way. As theyre packing, they noticed they only have room for 3 pets in their car. A sad voice opens up in QTs mouth - "Dapper, No FeelsBadMan ". He was left behind.
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing