[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
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How to deal with unsportsmanlike player at chess club?

Theres a very unsportsmanlike player at our club who constantly taunts and belittles everyone else. Whenver you make a mistake he yells out "blunder!" or "inaccuracy!" ... "better move was..." and then says the engine move or what he thinks the engine move is. He also says what he thinks the engine +- is. He plays the kings gambit as much as he can and knows like 30 moves deep into every variation. If you respond something other than e5 to 1.e4 he just laughs and calls you a patzer. He's also OBSESSED with Hikaru Nakamura. He talks about him all the time and shows everyone a picture of him with Hikaru (Its really blurry so its hard to tell if its even him). He's constantly talking about him as if he's a close friend even though he only (maybe?) met him one time. Its bordering on creepy and makes everyone uncomfortable. He calls him "Hikaru-San" which I think is part of his obsession with Japanese culture. He also brings japanese noodles/Ramen to the club every day and will spend like 5-10 minute eating them during his turn just to taunt you. Meanwhile he will be mumbling words in japanese. We tried approaching about his conduct but he just did some weird anime villain laugh, yelled something in Japanese, then ran off to challenge another person to a blitz match. We obviously don't want to tell him not to come but it feels like his presence is deterring new people from joining and its also exhuasting.
February 2022

Chess

forsenWTF

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣈⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⣠⣤⢀⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠙⠂ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠸⠿⠁⠄⠧⠄⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠷⠤⢤⣄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣶⡆⣿⣿⣿⡗⠂⣤⠄⠄⠈⠆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⢿⣿⣿⣷⠸⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⡾⠁⠈⠉⠝⢀⡀⠄⡀⡰⠃ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠦⠄⠄⠐⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⢀⣼⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⢿⣷⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡌⣿⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢻⣿⣆⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠛⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps

twitchquotes: Trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable *** off the face of the continent, you little ***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your *** tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will *** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re *** dead, kiddo.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Attention all Fortnite gamers, Trump needs you!

twitchquotes: Attention all fornite gamers. President Trump is in trouble and needs your help. Grab your pickaxes and get that quick build on. We need your Fortnite building skills to get that border wall up. Quick! find the nearest quad crasher and join Ninja in keeping those migrants out and America safe.
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Frustrated anime girl

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⢿⣢⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣯⣟⣿⢿⡇⢃⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡄ ⠄⢿⣿⣯⣏⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣾⢿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷ ⠄⣈⣽⢾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⣯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⣫⢸⣿⢿⣿⣾⣿⢿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⢸⣟⢸⣿⠸⣷⣝⢻⠘⣿⣿⢸⢿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⡆⢿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿ ⡇⣿⡿⣿⣿⢟⠛⠛⠿⡢⢻⣿⣾⣞⣿⡏⠖⢸⣿⢣⣷⡸⣇⣿⣿⣿⢼⡿⣿⣿ ⣡⢿⡷⣿⣿⣾⣿⣷⣶⣮⣄⣿⣏⣸⣻⣃⠭⠄⠛⠙⠛⠳⠋⣿⣿⣇⠙⣿⢸⣿ ⠫⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣹⢷⣿⡼⠋ ⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢻⢹⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⢸⣿⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡃⣽⣿⣿⡟⠁⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⢿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⡄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⣿⣿⣾⣿⡟⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⡇⠸⣆⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣇⣿⣿⢿⣿⠄⠄
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June 2019

Weebs

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