[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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I'm meeting a girl (a real one)

Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand)
February 2021

Discord

All becoming better than Kripp

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｍｉｓｐｌａｙ, Ｉ ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｓｈｏｗ ｈｉｍ ｍｙ ｋｎｏｗｌｅｄｇｅ. Ｉ Ｃｒｉｔｉｃｉｚｅ ｈｉｓ ｇａｍｉｎｇ ａｂｉｌｉｔｉｅｓ ａｎｄ ｃａｌｌ ｈｉｍ ｔｈｅ ｎｏｏｂ. ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｂｅｔｔｅｒ ｔｈａｎ ｋｒｉｐｐ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Spaghetti out of Kripp's underwear

twitchquotes: I love spaghetti, its actually my passion. I have always wanted to eat Greek spaghetti, specifically out of Kripp's underwear where his dongers are Kappa
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle

twitchquotes: There is one sign the Kripparrian can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Morosan, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for Twitch and Youtube, if you seek liberalization, come here to this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, tear down this wall!
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Logan Paul Apology but I replace "apologize" with "cum"

I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement and I don't expect to be forgiven. I'm simply here to cum. So what we came across that day on the woods was obviously unplanned and the reactions you saw on tape were raw, they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down, and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently, but I didn't, and for that from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I want to cum to the internet, I want to cum to anyone who's seen the video, I want to cum to anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But, most importantly, I want to cum to the victim and his family. For, my fans, who are defending my actions, please don't, they do not deserve to be defended. The goal of my content is always to entertain, to push the boundaries, to be all inclusive and in the world I live in I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said, I made a huge mistake, I don't expect to be forgiven, I'm just here to cum. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm disappointed in myself, and I promise to be better. I will be better, thank you.
May 2022
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