[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
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Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, This is Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter in the galaxy. I command you to stop being a p*ssy and eat meat, instead of eating all of my relatives. If you don't, I will be super angry at you. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Wait Aurateur is actually bald?

twitchquotes: I’ve been blind since birth. After restorative eye surgery I got a new lease on life. I can drive, watch TV, see the sunset. But more importantly, I can finally truly watch my favorite twitch streamer, Aurateur. From the sounds of it he is a god gamer and the chat is so rambunctious it’s always a good time. Alright, time to log into twitch and see what he’s up to........ Wait this guy is actually bald? lmao I’m outta here
twitch chat
November 2020
Aurateur

3-eyed face

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ascii art
November 2014

FeelsAmazingMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣩⣭⣥⣭⣭⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣶⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠙⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣋⣭⣭⣭⣭⣔⠻⣿⣿⣿⢸⡴⠆⢀⡾⠟⠁⠀⢰⣶⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⢿⣿⣎⠛⠿⠓⠒⠈⠁⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠀⠈⣿⣿⡇⠒⠒⠒⠂⢀⣠⣴⠟⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⠒⢋⣴⠿⠋⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⠿⠋⢵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠁⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⣠⣴⡿⠟⣋⣤⣦⡙⢌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠙⠒⠒⠒⠂⠀⢀⣠⡶⠿⢛⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠳⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⢀⣰⠂⢀⣤⣶⠾⢛⣡⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⡏⠀⠟⠃⠀⣿⡉⢥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡙⢎⢻⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠰⡄⠈⠻⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⢿⣿ ⣇⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠈⠻⣦⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣛⡛⠳⠈⡌⢿ ⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠈⠛⢷⣤⡁⠤⣤⣍⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣷⠄⣿⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠀⠀⠙⠻⣷⣶⣬⣍⣒⡂⠈⠍⢐⣛⣩⣥⣴⠾⢋⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⠿⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
September 2020

Pepe

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat
May 2017

I sexually Identify as

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