[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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forsenSS

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⡿⢋⣠⣿⣿⡄⣰⢞⣿⡵⣽⢯⣶⢾⣿⣟⣿⣭⣤⡌⠙⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⠄⢠⣿⣿⣟⡿⣟⣳⣿⡿⣗⡷⣫⣿⡏⣿⣻⣭⣿⣿⠁⠜⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢰⣿⡀⣾⣿⣿⢼⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣶⣿⡏⣇⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣀⣴⡆ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢹⣿⣿⣿⠾⠟⣛⢷⡝⢟⣳⢿⣽⢿⡟⡝⢻⣿⡿⠿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢨⣀⢿⢧⠟⣏⡛⠻⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⢾⣷⢨⣪⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⣿⣿⣿⠷⠄⢻⣿⠾⢿⢫⣾⣬⢿⣸⣿⡟⡒⢹⣱⣿⣛⠯⣿⢿⢟⣵⣾⢟⠿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢢⡌⣵⣿⡷⢿⣿⣿⣯⢣⣿⡯⣿⣷⣜⡲⣏⣿⣟⣷⢻⣿⢽⠿⣟⣻ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⢆⣼⣿⣿⣴⠂⠈⣿⣿⣯⣵⣾⡿⢿⢋⣉⣥⣿⣽⡿⣾⣿⣿⣿⢿⠋ ⣿⣿⡿⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⠾⣒⣨⣿⣺⣿⣟⣾⣥⣀⠐ ⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠉⢻⡣⢾⣾⣯⣟⣫⣽⡿⠟⠁⢉ ⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣷⣷⣦⣼⡿⣰⡾⣤⣭⣍⠁⠤⣴⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠄⠓⠄⣉⣠⣤⣤⣀⣸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡄⠚⠳⠂⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⢐⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

ME TREE ME SPAM

twitchquotes: 🎄 ME TREE 🎄 ME SPAM 🎄 NO OXYGEN 🎄 IF BAN 🎄
twitch chat
December 2016

MODS

Penis Inspection Day

twitchquotes: I was talking to some people I know, and apparently I'm the only person who remembers "Penis Inspection Day" in Elementary School. The gym teacher took us into the washroom one at a time while everyone else kept playing, and tugged our foreskin back and inspected our penis to make sure we were developing properly and keeping clean. Surely I can't be the only one who remembers this, other people must have had Penis Inspection Day at their school too.
twitch chat
December 2019

I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
April 2021

At first glance, I was skeptical about PUBG mobile

twitchquotes: At first glance, I was skeptical about PUBG mobile, but I got to hand it to Kripp, he changed my mind. I do not usually play mobile games, but this one was an exception. Well played to you Mr Kripp, you got me hooked and I am loving every second of it.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

sellout

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds

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