[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

LS aka "Lost Sight"

twitchquotes: LS aka "Lost Sight" is a blind LCK coach, commentator and streamer who has achieved Korean masters using echolocation through clicking and poker chips. He enjoys streaming in low light environments to reduce the light energy transfer which interferes with his methods.
twitch chat
August 2019
imls

League of Legends

I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy

twitchquotes: Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy." WutFace
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

SMOrc

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣭⠉⠙⠙⡛⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣜⣿⣿⣿⠧⠤⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠉⢩⠋⠡⣲⡦⣶⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⢿⣯⡩⠭⠭⣍⣒⠣⣄⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢳⣄⢤⣿⡿⠑⠀⠀⠀⠲⣷⡯⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠤⠼⠀⠈⢲⣾⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠲⡦⠂⡼⣶⢟⠟⠁⠤⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢰⣿⠣⠃⣴⣾⡶⢿⡾⣿⢿⣿⢿⢿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣾⡏⢀⣾⣿⠋⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡞⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢿⠀⢸⣇⣅⣀⣿⣁⣻⣁⣻⣀⣹⣃⣸⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠘⠀⡈⠏⠥⣤⣬⣭⣭⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⢧⡲⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢮⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ Hello Kripp, my name is Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos. ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ We're gonna need some "Insurance money" or we're gonna break off your legs and cut off your dongerino. Pls no copy pasterino my frappuchino
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

A man was spotted coughing in his apartment in Lego city

A man was spotted coughing in his apartment in Wuhan city. Start the acetylene torch. HEY! Build the acetylene torch. Lock him up in his apartment. Weld the door shut. And censor the media. The new events that didn't happen from Wuhan city. (sets not available in China)
December 2020

Coronavirus

Lego City

COVID

Text-to-Speech Playing