[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

What has my life come to? I'm sitting in an empty room

twitchquotes: What has my life come to? I'm sitting in an empty room, behind my wooden pc watching a guy play a card game for children, probably earning my yearly salary in a week's time. All of my ambitions are now gone. Only thing that i have left is my old pc and a memory of who i once was...
twitch chat
June 2019

Hearthstone

I think you should rethink about your whole life

twitchquotes: Let me see if i understand this: people come to Twitch.tv to watch pro players or no life people stream and what do viewers do? they copy paste any brainless thing and feel good about it. I think you should rethink about your whole life.
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

ForsenE Don't talk to me or my son ever again

twitchquotes: forsen1 forsen2 don't talk to me or my son ever again forsenE forsen3 forsen4
twitch chat
October 2016
Forsen

NA LOST TO CORONA

twitchquotes: NA LOST TO CORONA LUL NA LOST TO POLICE BRUTALITY LUL NA LCS IS SO BAD LUL NA PRODUCTION IS THE WORST LUL NA USING TEETH TO DEFEND THEMSELVES LUL
twitch chat
July 2020

EU vs NA

Regi storms in the TSM meeting room

twitchquotes: In the TSM meeting room, Regi stormed in with the fury of God by his side. As everyone tried to flee, the Monkey King channeled cyclone effectively knocking the new imports back to China, he pulled his staff out of his ass and knocked Tactical back to Team Liquid. Spica and Huni manage to escape, but they are greeted at the exit, a contract enticing them to stay for 100 FTX bitcoins. They choose to stay.
twitch chat
March 2022

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing