[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Send me nudes. Not your naked body

twitchquotes: Send me nudes. Not your naked body, not your bare skin. I want your nudes, your naked truths. Your secrets. Your lies. Your fears. The unfiltered thoughts you kept hidden for years. I won't judge. I'll listen. For your truths are real and that's who I want to know.
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

YoDa

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣿⣴⠈⠉⠁⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠁⠉⢿⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⡀⠀⠑⡀⠘⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡀⣄⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⡿⠛⠉⠛⠿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠿⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢠⣦⠀⡉⣑⣤⣿⣇⢀⠛⣠⢀⣆⠀⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣶⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠹⣿⣤⠠⣤⠤⣠⣿⠏⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠹⣿⣶⣶⣶⣴⠟⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⠅⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018
YoDa

Apology letter from the condom factory

twitchquotes: What in the actual rainbows is wrong with your brain? Did you IQ test return with negative results or something? I’m getting closer and closer to believing that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Jesus Christ. Love the content keep it up.
twitch chat
December 2020

Why are we rioting?

twitchquotes: ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ riot ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨

I'm Tanner jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Text-to-Speech Playing