[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Having a daughter is the ULTIMATE SIMP

As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL SIMP. Think about it logically.
August 2021

Simps

Another crewmate with a dick

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April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

NSFW

Summon The Hydra

Imagine being Bill Gates right now.

Imagine being Bill Gates right now. You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education. Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will.. Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live. You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
February 2021

xQc trolls Among Us

twitchquotes: Hey Chat, I am pretty sad that xQc trolls this game. He was such a good Crewmate before and now he is just ruining the game. If he don't want to play correctly he just should leave the lobby. I am actual really mad right now, maybe I even close the stream. I am very concerd that he is developing into a toxic Troll.
twitch chat
November 2020
xQcOW

Among Us / Amogus

This guy's such a bad player!

twitchquotes: ☑ "This guy's such a bad player!” ☑ “You seen my deck guys, there was nothing I could've done” ☑ "How am I losing against these NOOBS" ☑ “This is hearthstone guys” ☑ "I lost" ☑ “He played like trash and got lucky” ☑ “FUCKIN' EH” ☑
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

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