[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Mesmerized

twitchquotes: ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣠⣴⣴⣦⣦⣄⡉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠐⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡂⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡟⣽⠂⠈⠉⢢⡻⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⡖⠉⠄⠉⢷⣽⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣇⠻⠄⠄⠄⠸⠛⣹⣿⣧⡈⠻⠧⠄⠄⢀⠞⢹⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣿⣷⣴⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡅⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣙⡛⢛⣋⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢨⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠉⠩⠍⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⠁⡀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠘⠻⠿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
twitch chat
April 2019

Among Us player was ejected

twitchquotes: . 　。　　　　•　 　ﾟ　　。 　　.　　　.　　　 　　.　　　　　。　　 。　. 　.　　 。　 ඞ 。　 . • . [Enter name] was ejected. . . 　 。　. 　 　　。　　　　　　ﾟ　　　.　　　　　. ,　　　　.　 .　　 .
twitch chat
September 2020

Among Us / Amogus

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021

VAPE ME UP, VAPE ME UP INSIDE

twitchquotes: VapeNation VAPE ME UP VapeNation VAPE ME UP INSIDE VapeNation CAN'T VAPE UP VapeNation VAPE ME UP INSIDE VapeNation VAPE MEEEEE VapeNation CALL MY NAME AND VAPE ME VapeNation
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

VapeNation

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

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