[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Here's the thing. You said a "wyvern is a dragon."

Here's the thing. You said a "wyvern is a dragon." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a 1k MMR feeder who studies dragons, I am telling you, specifically, in dota, no one calls wyverns dragons. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "dragon family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Varanidae, which includes things from wyverns to eldwurms to drakes. So your reasoning for calling a wyvern a dragon is because random people "call the flying lizards dragons?" Let's get gyarados and charizards in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a noob or a feeder? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A wyvern is a wyvern and a member of the dragon family. But that's not what you said. You said a wyvern is a dragon, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the dragon family dragons, which means you'd call eldwurms, drakes, and other flying lizards dragons, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
January 2021

monkaW

⠟⠛⣉⣡⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣉⡛⢿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⣋⣉⣩⣭⣭⣭⣉⣙⠛⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠡⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠆⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠰⠄⠙⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⡗⠠⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠘⠠⢀⣼ ⡉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣋⣡⡈⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿ ⠿⠷⠶⣦⣭⣉⣉⣉⣉⣭⡥⣴⡿⠿⢟⣠⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣬⣭⣽⣿⣿⠖⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣫⣥⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣝⠛⢛⣫⣭⣭⣭⣭⣅⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣶⣶⣮⣭⣉⣙⡛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢛⣉⣭ ⣛⣛⣛⡛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣍⣉⣉⣉⣛⣛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣋⣭⣄⠄ ⣶⣦⣬⣍⣙⣛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄
April 2019

Pepe

So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump

twitchquotes: So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump... which was pretty cool. I was wondering why he was in the "woman's hygeine" section of the store.... He caught on to what I was thinking and held up some tampons. "For my girlfriend", he said, giggling nervously. But he doesn't have a GF. I think they were for HIM!
twitch chat
October 2014
Trump

This ZeRo guy seems pretty good

twitchquotes: This ZeRo guy seems pretty good. He could be a top player in a few months or maybe even #1.
twitch chat
January 2019

Super Smash Bros

Please fortnite i really Like big boob

Please fortnite i really Like big boob Like it would Be big and Add sex so i can Sex th e skin And Feet is Sex too Can there be special emote for big boo skin where is will Take off cloth And show be Feet and I will be like mmm Sex so much I feet Yes! Plaese
April 2021

Fortnite

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