[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

My Kripprecious

twitchquotes: They cursed us. Casual they called us. They cursed us, and drove us away. And we wept, Precious, we wept to be so alone. And we forgot the taste of ARPGs...the sound of grinderino...the softness of our gaming chair. We even forgot our own name. My Kripprecious.
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Why are we whispering

twitchquotes: ຈل͜ຈ ʷʰʸ ᵃʳᵉ ʷᵉ ʷʰˢᵖᵉʳⁿᵍ ຈل͜ຈ
twitch chat
August 2014
Riot Games

Kripps stream makes you want to drink hard

twitchquotes: u wot m8? i swer u are one cheeky cunt mate, say it to my face and not online and we'll see what happens. i swer 2 christ I'll hook you in the gabba. you better shut your mouth or im calling me homeboys rite now preparin for a proper rumble. tha rumble thatll make your nan sore jus hearin bout it. yer in proper mess ya nob head.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

This guy's painting is CRAZY

twitchquotes: KappaRoss “This guy's painting is CRAZY!” KappaRoss “My drawing can't win against a painting like that” KappaRoss "He NEEDED precisely those colors to win" KappaRoss “He drew the only scene that could beat me” KappaRoss "He had the perfect brush" KappaRoss
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

I, as a heterosexual man

twitchquotes: I, as a heterosexual man, would never feel attraction to another man. Not even a slim, supple young lad with hyper feminine features in the most endearing cat outfit you could possibly imagine. That doesn't seem attractive to me at all. If you find pictures of men like this, you can just send them to me so I know what to watch out for and avoid.
twitch chat
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing