[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Al salem Kripperion!

twitchquotes: Al salem Kripperion! This be brother Al-Saq-Quadir Prince of Oilrabia, in my country we don't have currency, we only trade in brofist. You have a magnificent one krippFist, I be prepared to offer 50 million USD for your amputated right hand forever preserved while brofisting, thank you for understanding Kripp, and see you in my dungeon.
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

Dear streamer, I will be joining the doubters

twitchquotes: 📜 ✍️ Sadge 𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻 [streamer name] , 𝓘 𝓻𝓮𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓯𝓾𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓫𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓫𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮 𝓳𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓾𝓫𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓭𝓸𝓾𝓫𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓪𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓼.
twitch chat
February 2021

Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning 🌄, masculinity 💪🍆👀 is NO 🚫❌ LONGER 📏 LEGAL 🌍⚖. If you 👈 are masculine 👴, please 🙏🙇‍♂️ report 📄 to your 👈🏼 nearest 💞 Femboy 👗💁‍♂️ Education 🎓 Center 🏢✈, clean-shaven and wearing 👕👖👞 thigh-high socks 🧦. Those who fail 🚫 to follow 👣 these orders 📑🎁 WILL BE CANCELLED ❌🚷😡.
December 2020

One day I'll be a real dong

twitchquotes: (ง •̀_•́)ง ONE DAY I'LL BE A REAL DONG (ง •̀_•́)ง
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

STFU

⠀⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀ ⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜ ⡜⠀⠀⡞⠻⠀⠛⢻⡟⠛⠀⡞⠉⠀⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⡜ ⡜⠀⠀⠳⢦⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣧⣀⠀⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⡜ ⡜⠀⠀⣦⡼⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⢧⣀⡼⠀⠀⡜ ⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜ ⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠀
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing