[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

forsenX WutFace

twitchquotes: forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace forsenX WutFace
twitch chat
March 2016
Forsen

Tomato Town Police Report

The residents of Tomato Town need your help identifying two suspects who were about to get down while involved in an event on Monday evening. Ten people were eliminated, and the two suspects, one injured, left the scene headed Southbound and were later spotted at a local park. The two suspects were armed with golden scar ARs and were “hitting that chug jug” as several witnesses stated. Please alert local Tomato Town authorities with any information regarding the duo.
March 2021

Fortnite

This is the Vegan Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the Vegan Police. We have reason to suspect the food you just ate was not entirely Vegan. Please prepare a stool sample promptly. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Pikachu

⠸⣷⣦⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⣿⡄⠈⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠊⠉⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠣⡀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠁⠀⠀⣰⠟⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⣄⠀⡈⠒⠊⠉⠁⠀⠈⠉⠑⠚⠀⠀⣀⠔⢊⣠⠤⠒⠊⠉⠀⡜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡽⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠩⡔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢠⡤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢤⣄⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠹⠿⠟⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⣇⠀⠀⡀⠠⠄⠒⠊⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡆⠀⠰⠤⠖⠦⠴⠀⢀⣶⣿⣿⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⡿⠛⢄⠀⠀⠱⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠈⠓⠦⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⡠⠴⠊⠹⡞⣁⠤⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠉⠉⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢶⣗⠧⡀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣀⣸⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠀⣸⢤⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣦⣈⣧⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣼⡀⣨⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠿⠓⠄⠤⠘⠉⠙⠤⢀⠾⠿⣿⠟⠋
February 2021

Pokemon

I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday

twitchquotes: I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday. I told him it would be cool to see him play arena again. He said, “Why, so you can snipe me at 8 wins?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I thought he was going for a brofist, so I extended my hand only to have it slapped away in disgust. Later on I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen murlocs in his hands without paying.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing