twitchquotes:
I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
THIS 
BASTION OVERRATED 
what I mean ☺️😘😋 if you get 1️⃣ back 🙄🤬😡 then you and that slut 🤤🤤🤤😫😫😫 have to appropriate Native American culture together 😔🪶🏕 if you get 3️⃣ back 😈🤑 you’re going to get your turkey 🦃 eaten 😋😋😉😉😏 tomorrow night 😱😱😱😱 if you get 5️⃣ back 👀👀 you will be eating your cousin’s 👶🏻 peach 🍑 pie 🥧 just like you’ve always 💯💯💯wanted 😋🤤🥵 if you get 7️⃣ back 🛶 you’ll become 😲😲 a pilgrim 🎩👞 and be the villain 🦹♀️ of American 🇺🇸 history 📖📕📚 😔😔😔 if you get all 1️⃣0️⃣ back 🤯😱🤯😱🤯😱🤯 you’ll be feasting 🤤😏 this thanksgiving 👀👀 in more ways than one 😫😏👀🚼💘 okay you sexy 😇 sexy 😈 gobbling turkey poos 🦃🦃🦃 it’s time ⏰ for me to go ➡️ atone 🤣for the sins ✝️ 😔of my ancestors💀💀💀👩🏼❤️💋👨🏼🤰🏼🤱🏼👩👧🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪