[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
July 2021

Hey Moon it's your dad, Steve

twitchquotes: Hey Moon it's your dad, Steve, I just wanted to know if you have anything to tell me bud? I noticed you've been hanging out with Lassiz a lot and just wanted to let you know those feeling are fine. Your bodies changing and you may start getting funny feelings for other boys. Just remember to use protection and be safe. I'm proud of you bud.
twitch chat
February 2019
MOONMOON

Where me your CTRL+V

twitchquotes: whisper me your CTRL+V no cheating VoHiYo whisper me your CTRL+V no cheating VoHiYo whisper me your CTRL+V no cheating VoHiYo whisper me your CTRL+V no cheating VoHiYo
twitch chat
February 2016
strifecro

forsenBee

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⡾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣽⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⡛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣤⣶⢶⣄⣃ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡯⠴⣶⣻⠽⠖⢪⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢺⡍⢩⡻⣿⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⢯⣾⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣙⡾⠭⣄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣷⠿⠷⣿⣿⣼ ⣿⣯⣾⣿⣿⣷⣯⡸⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠶⠿⢿⣿⣇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⡟⣽⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠑⢛⠛⠛⢳⠙⠿⢲⡽⣿⣿⣧⣿ ⡏⣿⣿⣾⡿⣎⢾⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣶⢁⣀⡚⠿⠽⢉⣀⣢⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿ ⣿⣽⣿⣿⣾⡿⠋⠁⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⡿⠟⠻⣻⣽⣿⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣝⣵⣶⣀⠄⠄⠄⠁⠝⣿⣿⣿⢈⢸⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡗⠛⣫⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠉⠈⠙⠻⢿⣷⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠙⠁⠄⠉⠊⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠉⠁⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⢶⣤⣄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠿⠿⢿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡆⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢹⣿ ⠄⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡖⣴⣿⣿
November 2021
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Emote

Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome

My name is Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome! Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome? That’s right, Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome!
April 2021
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