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I'm Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends

twitchquotes: Hi it's Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends, we would like to promote Michael Santana from Meme Secretary at the League of Legends to Meme Lord at our Department of Legends. Thank you for your time
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. “Are you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. “Soon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they halt—the alternation feature broken—on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a time—hours?—you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad

Coming out as morbsexual

In honor of Pride Month, I am here to say that it's morbin' time. Today, my fellow morbheads, we rise. I am proud to come out and express my true morbdentity to the world at this very morbment. I am a morbphile and I identify myself as morbsexual. My pronouns are morb/ius.
June 2022

Morbius

Hi Kripp, Suda the painting elephant here

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Suda the painting elephant here. I thought i could give you a few tips seeing how you appear to be painting at a calf level (that's a baby elephant btw.) Perhaps you could ask your trainer Raina to hand you different colored brushes to make the tree more vibrant? From one herbivore to another I've got to say this is a little depressing, but as long as you keep trying your best I have no doubt you will reach adult animal level painting skills. Happy Painting!
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

I took Kaceytron on a date

twitchquotes: Once lived a maiden with unmatched beauty, flowing black hair, her name was Kaceytron. She took care of an orphan, just a young CatCam, i decided i would still go for it. Took her out on a date and we ended in bed, now this is the point where the story turns sad. I expected nice boobies but couldn't be wronger, the girl was a boy with a 20inch DONGER
twitch chat
June 2014
Kaceytron
I used to be a real ad

companies never gets whats make the games popular

twitchquotes: companies never gets whats make the games popular, it is not content or of the game is free or not, its their content creators, CSGO has Summit and Fortnite has Ninja, Valorant has no one, they must find a clown asap or their circus is going to close
twitch chat
June 2020

This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!

twitchquotes: ☑ “This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!” ☑ “My deck cannot hope to prevail against a deck of that caliber” ☑ "He REQUIRED those two cards in subsequent order to succeed" ☑ “He extracted from his deck the only cards capable of defeating me” ☑ "His cards defied logic" ☑ “There was no manoeuvre at my disposal to secure victory” ☑ “I played impeccably”
twitch chat
October 2014

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Pizza baked, crust is cheesy, hey y'all, gimmie gimmie

twitchquotes: ヽ༼OpieOP༽ノ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ ʙᴀᴋᴇᴅ, ᴄʀᴜsᴛ ɪs ᴄʜᴇᴇsʏ, ʜᴇʏ ʏ'ᴀʟʟ, ɢɪᴍᴍɪᴇ ɢɪᴍᴍɪᴇ ヽ༼OpieOP༽ノ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I'M MOVING TO HAWAII AND FINALLY LEAVE THE USA!

twitchquotes: RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED, I absolutely don't want to live in this nation where our GREAT PRESIDENT TRUMP is getting ROBBED! This is absolutely the final straw, my KIDS ARE IN DANGER and I won't live in this nation another day! I'M MOVING TO HAWAII AND FINALLY LEAVE THE USA!!!
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

There is no "random number generator" in any games

twitchquotes: I have a REQUEST: could you please stop saying "RNG"? There is no "random number generator" in any games. It's all PSEUDO-random number generator. So therefore it should be PNG or PRNG and not RNG. I am a mathematician, this is important to me, thank you. Using incorrect terms make you lose unprofessional and amateurish and make you lose credibility
twitch chat
April 2019
I used to be a real ad

Twitch chat isn’t that dumb

twitchquotes: Twitch chat isn’t that dumb. They don’t just copy paste anything. Believe it or not, most people in chat have functioning brains. Watch, no one in chat will repost this message.
twitch chat
April 2019

McAfee didn't kill himself

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩☆۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ☆★☆ 𝐌𝐂𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 ☆★☆ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩☆۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
June 2021

I'd shoot Reynad twice

twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

PC vs console youtube comment

Says the poor brainless console peasant. No mods, no money to achieve high performance, no creativity to set up your own devices. Calling me pathetic lol, I actually work and gather money for Gaming PC whilst you console peasants probably beg to your parents for buying you a console. So tell me, have you been a good brat by doing house chores?
June 2021

I Salute the donger lord for he is our KING!

twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

Papparrian is proud of Kripparrian

twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Reporting a streamer named "TSM_Kripp"

twitchquotes: Hello twitch admins. I am here to report a streamer named "TSM_Kripp". She is currently violating the new twitch rules, and is constantly moaning suggestively in her stream. I am trying to watch her game but she just keeps yelling "TOPDICK" or "INSANE" after she gets rekt. Please take action against her as soon as you can. Thank you.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Hello Forsen, I am a 32 year old Ecuadorian national

twitchquotes: Hello Forsen I am a 32 year old Ecuadorian national who is stuck in the US after Reynad refused to pay my airfare home. I need you and your stream to please help me get home to my wife and kid it has been 1 year since my departure and I very much would like to see them again. Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen
I used to be a real ad
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