[Copypasta] I’m a zoomer! Not a shady millenial or a boomer

twitchquotes: I’m a zoomer! Not a shady millenial or a boomer. I’m a zoomer, not a Gen X’r. Born in the 21th century. I’m a zoomer, i’m yeething and sheeting and peeting and reating. I’m a zoomer, we use internet since we were born. Dancing like fortnight! I’m a zoomer, we don’t know 9/11. I’m a zoomer, we are the 9 year olds. I’m a zoomer!
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Why did I marry this angry bald internet man?

twitchquotes: It’s 11 p.m. and i've finally gotten comfortable in bed. It's been a long day and finally being able to get some rest is such a luxury. But my peace is soon broken as my husband shouts from the other room "OH COME ON! That was such BULLSHIT! Fucking highrolled AGAIN." Why did i do this to myself. Why did I marry this angry bald internet man? I haven't slept properly in months for his constant yelling throughout the night. God help me.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Moderation is one of the most useful jobs to society (Reddit moderator goes off)

I'm seeing many bigoted comments down there so I just want to make this clear : any hate towards moderators will result in a permanent ban from this subreddit with no warning. This includes, but is not limited to, calling moderation a "fake job" or saying that we "do it for free". Moderation is one of the most useful jobs to society. Behave. Or get banned.
December 2021

Reddit

MODS

This is the Prismata Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the Prismata Police, You're coming wi... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Mitch and Reynad

twitchquotes: Mitch release Reynad from their passionate embrace to catch his breath. He holds Reynad's gaze intently, "Reynad, this is just like the arcane dream all over again". Reynad smiles and whispers, "Mitch let me show you what a real Tempo Storm is all about" and unzips his pants. KappaPride
twitch chat
May 2016
Riot Games

KappaPride

You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing