[Copypasta] I’m a zoomer! Not a shady millenial or a boomer

twitchquotes: I’m a zoomer! Not a shady millenial or a boomer. I’m a zoomer, not a Gen X’r. Born in the 21th century. I’m a zoomer, i’m yeething and sheeting and peeting and reating. I’m a zoomer, we use internet since we were born. Dancing like fortnight! I’m a zoomer, we don’t know 9/11. I’m a zoomer, we are the 9 year olds. I’m a zoomer!
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

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December 2021

My son can be homer sexual

twitchquotes: My son 👦🏻 can be homer sexual 🏳️‍🌈 My daughter 👧🏻 can be lebanese 👭 But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child 👶🏻 who likes Jake and Logan Paul 🙅🏻‍
twitch chat
January 2018

Missing shots

twitchquotes: 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ I got him ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ Pepega ▄︻┻═━一 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 🦌 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 󠀀
twitch chat
February 2021

The Rock: "cmon jabroni"

⣶⣿⣾⣷⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠃⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⡘⣤⠀⢀⣾⣿⣻⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⣩⠀⣦⡙⠟⠟⠛⢓⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣯⣿⢸⣿⣷⡗⠀⠀⠁⠒⠠⢀⢰⡿⠻⠼⠓⠂⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣻⣿⡟⣯⣿⢋⣯⡟⣿⠏⠿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣨⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣇⡟⡀⠀⣹⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣦⣾⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠐⢩⣿⣿⢟⠟⠃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣿⡄⢰⡆⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡏⡄⠀⠀⢻⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠅⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠔⠀⠀⠀⠈⢟⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠘⠛⢷⡄⠀⠭⠉⠁⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢵⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⣶⣿⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢼⢅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠐⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢣⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿ ⠓⠄⡀⠈⠢⠀⠀⠐⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠣⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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July 2021
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