[Copypasta] I’m a zoomer! Not a shady millenial or a boomer

twitchquotes: I’m a zoomer! Not a shady millenial or a boomer. I’m a zoomer, not a Gen X’r. Born in the 21th century. I’m a zoomer, i’m yeething and sheeting and peeting and reating. I’m a zoomer, we use internet since we were born. Dancing like fortnight! I’m a zoomer, we don’t know 9/11. I’m a zoomer, we are the 9 year olds. I’m a zoomer!
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Profesionali playertti of Defenders of the Agnolotti

twitchquotes: hello, il mio nome is GIROLAMO SAVORANOLA I my italiano. I want be profesionali playeretti of Defenders of the Agnolotti. the I sold all my spaghetti so i can bought a branderini new coputterini and farma all gaems. Per favore no coperinato pasterinato caramel macchiato
twitch chat
March 2014
Riot Games

I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021

Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you?

Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you? Do you want a bandaid? Do you want a hug? Do you want a kiss? I will kiss you. I will do it. Right on the mouth. Come here snowflake.. that's it.. your lips are so soft, snowflake.. mnnhm... ah...... snowflake..........
January 2022

Politics

Kripp Jr

twitchquotes: The year is 2020 Kripp is playing Hearthstone with his son Kripp Jr. "Looks like you lose Daddy hehe, but I still love you!", he says topdeckingly... "Oh my *** god dude thats *** unreal, how can I lose to people this bad", Kripp spits coldly with hate in his eyes. Kripp Jr. begins to cry....
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Now Playing: Despacito

twitchquotes: ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Despacito ───────────────⚪─────────────────── ◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►►⠀⠀ ⠀ 1:17 / 3:48 ⠀ ───○ 🔊⠀ ᴴᴰ ⚙ ❐ ⊏⊐
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

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