[Copypasta] I’m a zoomer! Not a shady millenial or a boomer

twitchquotes: I’m a zoomer! Not a shady millenial or a boomer. I’m a zoomer, not a Gen X’r. Born in the 21th century. I’m a zoomer, i’m yeething and sheeting and peeting and reating. I’m a zoomer, we use internet since we were born. Dancing like fortnight! I’m a zoomer, we don’t know 9/11. I’m a zoomer, we are the 9 year olds. I’m a zoomer!
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

A long dad joke

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
February 2021

Inferno and cobblestone chickens

twitchquotes: I think inferno and cobblestone need to go. In these maps chickens are killed recklessly and without remorse. Chat keeps shouting 'PETA' but no action is taken. I think we need to take them out of the competitive map pool to put a stop to this slaughter and show we are serious.
twitch chat
April 2016
Summt1g

CSGO

as a person who has lots of sex all the time

as a person who has lots of sex all the time, i can say that this game is 100% accurate to having sex with sexy women. like i do. everyday. this game did not make me horny however. i am not gay. i just have too much sex with real women to spend more than 15 minutes in this game. on the other hand i would recommend this game to people who do not have sex (unlike me because i have lots of sex with women a lot) as there is a naked woman in it and she is naked. she kinda looks like one of my many girlfriends who i have sex with a lot. i have lots of sex. i also an very handsome and women ALWAYS want to have sex with me because i am very muscular and handsome and very good at video games. all my girlfriends say im very good at sex and playing video games and being handsome. one of my girlfriends asked me to have sex with her but i told her i was playing a sex game instead so she started crying and became a lesbian and killed herself because i did not have sex with her. i have sex with women. not men. i am not gay. i am very cool and handsome so girls always have sex with me because i am very cool and sexy. my penis is very big. all my girlfriends like my penis because it is very big and i am very good at sex with my women. every woman ive had sex with is very sexy and so am i. i have lots of sex. i am also very handsome and sexy and i have lots of sex.
September 2021

agontfHi emote

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠛⣉⣥⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣡⣤⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣶⣭⣽⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⡿⠋⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟ ⢸⣿⣦⣝⢿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡦⢩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢙⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⢠ ⠸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡈⠄⢀⣀⣀⣙⣛⣛⡛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢠⣿ ⡆⢿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣘⣵⣿⣿⢿⠹⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿ ⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣮⣭⣭⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣃⣼⣾⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿ ⣿⣧⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⢿ ⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⢠⣿▄▄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⡻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄
March 2021
AgonTFT

Teamfight Tactics

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing