[Copypasta] Dear Liberals: Stop putting women in MY p**n.

Last night when I was looking for some good Twink x BBC p**n on the hub I accidentally clicked the homepage, and to my horror I saw something I would never forget. A FUCKING WOMAN!!! And she was taking some good d**k too! The Worse part is that this shit is popular! The entire homepage is just filled with these hot dudes having sex with women!! I can’t stand these people anymore. First they ruin Star Wars and Ghostbusters, then they go after my video games and now my p**n? Fuck this. When will these Liberal SJW rainbow haired whales realize that P**N IS A MAN ONLY JOB. These feminists keep putting women everywhere where they shouldn’t be cuz “mUh GeNdEr EqUaLiTy”. How about you take you throw away your PhD in Gender studies and go back to the kitchen where y’all belong. Give us guys a break. tl;dr Feminazis are ruining p**n
April 2022
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Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v3

It’s the end of May the Fourth 4️⃣ 🌌😫 but that means the beginning of 🎸👨🏾🌵CincHOE de Mayo 🎸👨🏾🌵 get ready to get your TACO eaten 👅💦🌮 and gulp Papi's BURRITO 😩🌯💦 send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your main 💅🏾PUTAS 💅🏾who need to be stuffed by a CHORIZO 🌭💦 if you get 5️⃣ back you're a border hopping 💁🏽CHOLA 💁🏽If you get 1️⃣0️⃣ back you're a 💚 Green card HOE💚 If you get 1️⃣5️⃣ back you're the💃🏽Telenovela main BITCH 💃🏽 If you get 0️⃣ back you're getting deported by Trump! 🇲🇽😫🚧🇺🇸 Have a happy CincHOE de Mayo and don't let la Migra get you!!
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

Spits out cereal guy

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣞⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⢾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠰⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣠⣬⣵⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠙⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡣⡀⠀⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠂⢁⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠠⢦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠈⠒⠤⣀⣀⡀⣀⣀⠤⠐⠳⣦⣤⣤⣤⠶⠶⠶⢦⣤⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠻⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⡟⠋⠻⣶⡒⠒⠦⠤⡤⡈⢻⡆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢀⠀⠘⣷⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⣸⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣖⣺⢻⣝⣋⣽⣳⣶⣶⣿⣦⡴⣼⢷⡟⠋⠀ ⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣌⠉⠉⠉⣡⠞⠉⠉⠛⠳⢶⣼⢸⠂⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣕⡋⠘⠐⠂⡑⠃⠉⢲⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠃⢀⡤⠰⡎⠈⣉⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⡎⠀⠠⣀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠠⢄⠈⡗⠲⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢥⣦⠶⣗⢩⣰⢈⢁⠀⣀⠀⠀⢀⠨⢠⠇⠀⢹⢳⡉⣓⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠉⠙⠢⠥⣄⣀⣀⣀⣤⠴⠋⠀⠀⢸⡎⣿⡀⠀⢹⣏⠉⠉⠒⢦⠀ ⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⢸⣇⣴⠈⣿⡄⠀⢀⠻⠀ ⣠⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⣶⣭⣽⣻⣻⣯⣽⣿⣿⣀⣻⡇⠀⠀⡅⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠚⠋⠳⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠞⠃⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠙⠓
August 2021

IF YOU TOUCH THE BUG, PROGRAM HEARTHSTONE

twitchquotes: BUG TEST 🐛 IF YOU TOUCH THE BUG, PROGRAM HEARTHSTONE ⎝ Jebaited
twitch chat
June 2017

Hearthstone

Chat Test

Hey Kripp! It's Arena...

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! It's Arena... It's been a while, haven't it old buddy? I see that you've been playing Battlegrounds and have completely forgotten about me, even though I was always there for you. Low blow Kripp, hope you finish 8th in all your next games. Toodles!
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut

I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut. It was the greatest mistake of my life. After years of perfecting my recipe, I made my way down to the local hut, fresh-baked pizza pie in hand. "Try this," I told the kid working the counter. He did, and he had to agree that it was better than anything Pizza Hut had to offer. Soon, the entire store, customers included, was feasting on my delicious pie. The manager walked over, grabbed a slice, and took a bite. I look at him, anticipation rising. This was the boss, the local fief lord of the Hut. His approval meant more to me than all the rest combined. He took a bite and nodded. "I'll be damned," he said, "you really did it. You out- pizza'd the Hut. Shame." Shame? What did he mean by tha-- the manager pulled a gun out from behind his apron and shot the nearest customer in the head. "We have a Code Jalapeño," he said into his wrist as he executed the remaining customers. "I repeat, we have a Code Jalapeño." The ground was slick with blood. The kid working the counter choked out his dying breath as the manager turned to me. "You just had to do it motherfucker. You just had to out pizza the Hut." He shoved the gun in my face. I was too scared to fight, too scared to run. The manager pulled the trigger. A click. The gun was empty. I threw a chair at the manager and scrambled out of the Pizza Hut, not even bothering to see if my missile hit its mark. I was closely pursued by the manager, who had gotten his hands on a deadly sharp pizza cutter. I suspected in his hands it would cut more than pizza. Somehow, I was able to get into my car and speed off, the manager cursing my existence as I left him behind. I took a deep breath. The manager was clearly psychotic. Yes, that was it, just a crazy man with a gun. It had to be. My phone rang. Sister. I picked it. "They're dead, she sobbed. They're all dead. Mom, Dad, Chris, Bill. Dead. They killed them all." I could barely understand her, so great were her sobs. "What do you mean? Where are you?" I asked urgently. "How is this possi--" A single gunshot sounded through my phone's speakers. Silence. Then, I heard a man's voice. "No one out pizzas the Hut." He hung up. I drove down the empty country road, mind blank. I had nothing. They killed my family. I was alone. At that moment I knew what I had to do. They took everything from me. Well then, I would take everything from them. Pizza Hut was so terrified of being out pizza'd, they forgot there's one thing worse than a man with a recipe: A man with nothing to lose. I'll give them a limited time offer they won't be able to refuse: two bullets for the price of one. With a free side order of pain.
July 2021
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