[Copypasta] Kermit the Frog and the Twin Towers

It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. In "It's a Very Muppets Christmas Movie," a film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses. The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.
April 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume. "Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows. We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Pepe 200 IQ

⠄⣠⣤⣤⣄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣤⡓⠦⢤⣤⣤⣤⣔⠦⢤⣀⣀⣤⣤⢤⣀⣤⣤⣤⡀⠄ ⡿⠿⠗⣽⣿⠊⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠈⣾⣿⠁⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⣱⣿⡟⠄⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⠋⠈⠄⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⢠⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠄⢠⠄⠄⣿⣿⢰⢸⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄ ⠞⢿⡿⠿⠿⠄⠘⠻⠷⠿⣋⣚⣌⡻⠷⠿⢟⣘⡆⢚⡄⠿⠟⢸⣬⡛⢷⣿⣋⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠉⢐⣒⣒⡒⠎⠻⡿⣛⣩⠭⠭⢤⣀⣀⠄ ⢸⡍⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡓⠕⣊⣭⠥⠄⠄⢩⣍⢿⡏⣴⣶⠡⠄⠐⣮⣝⠳ ⠸⢲⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣉⡻⠿⠆⠄⠄⠜⣋⣼⣷⣉⠿⠦⠤⣂⣡⡶⠂ ⠄⠸⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣫⣿⣿⣟⠻⠿⠿⢟⣛⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⢉⣉⠉⣠⣄⠄⣠⣤⡀⣠⣤⣀⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠘⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣀⡁⠭⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣀⣉⠄⠉⠙⠉⠋⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣤⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣝⣛⡒⠤⠭⠉⢩⣭⠍⣿⢛⣛⣛⡛⢛⣃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡜⢿⠌⣵⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

Hello Kripp, it's me Timothy

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ɪᴛ's ᴍᴇ, ᴛɪᴍᴏᴛʜʏ. ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴍᴇ? ʏᴏᴜ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʟʟʏ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ᴋɪᴅ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɢʀᴇᴡ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴜɢʜ ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ . ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴡ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇғᴇɴᴅ ᴍʏ ʜᴏɴᴏʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀ** (ง'̀-'́)ง
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April 2014
Kripp

CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER

twitchquotes: ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
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August 2015
Kripp

WideHard

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⠒⠒⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡦⠀ ⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠯⠤⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠋⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠒⠂⠐⠶⠖⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⣴⣶⡶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠿⢿⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣶⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⢿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡖⠓⠀⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠶⢶⠾⣶⣶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠦⢤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣈⣀⠸⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing