[Copypasta] Kermit the Frog and the Twin Towers

It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. In "It's a Very Muppets Christmas Movie," a film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses. The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.
April 2022
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GlitchCat

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠉⡙⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⣚⡯⠴⢬⣱⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⣷⡌⢲⣄⡑⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠾⢋⠔⣨⣴⣿⣷⡌⠇⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢹⣿⣿⣄⢻⣿⣷⣝⠷⢤⣤⣤⡶⢋⣴⣑⠟⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡀⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢸⣿⡄⢁⣸⣿⣋⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣶⣟⡁⠚⣿⣿⡇⡇⠀ ⢀⣠⡤⠤⠾⡘⠋⢀⣘⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⢭⣭⣭⣭⣍⠉⢩⣭⠉⠉⠂⠙⠛⠃⣇⡀ ⠏⠀⠀⢿⣿⣷⡀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱ ⣦⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢻⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢻⡄⠀⠀⠘⠛⠉⠂⠀⠙⠁⠀⣼⣧⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠈⠙⠀⠘⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟ ⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣏⠀ ⠀⠀⠛⢶⢰⣶⢢⣤⣤⣄⠲⣶⠖⠀⣙⣀⠀⠀⠀⠤⢤⣀⣀⡀⣀⣠⣾⠟⡌⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⢄⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠀⠾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⠸⠟⣡⣤⡳⢦ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡆⣙⡿⢷⣾⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢡⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⢁⡟⣫⣶⣍⡙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣽⡖⣉⣠⣶⣶⣌⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⢡⢎⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⢠⠖⢁⣴⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿
October 2021

Jerma crushed by a CRT television

On September 20th, 2018, authorities arrived on the scene Thursday to find Jerma (Jeremy “Nine-hundred eighty-five” Elbertson, 32) dead on the scene. Medical experts say he died from natural causes after being pinned under a CRT television weighing only 35 pounds.
January 2022
Jerma985

AITA for drop kicking my 2 month old sister down the stairs?

Some backstory required: Earlier today I was trying to relax but she wouldn't stop fucking making annoying ass googoo gaga noises. So today, I see her, and she is actually standing up! First I think to take a picture and tell my parents, but than I remember what an entitled bitch she is. I run forward, and leap forward and plant both my feet in her face as we both tumble down the stairs. I told my parents that she crawked in front of me whilst I was about to use the stairs so I'm out of trouble, and the surgery went fine and she is basically fine although she seems to have fucking learned her lesson as she 'talks' a lot less now. Next time she does this I'm uppercutting her entitled little baby skull
August 2021

Am I The Asshole?

Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
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June 2017
Kripp

I hope Yuumi wins

twitchquotes: I hope Yuumi wins. I am a Yuumi main. I love cats, and my parents tell me I'm a parasite, so we have a lot in common. Yuumi might not be able to flash, but it lights up my life and heart. Go Yuumi!!!!!!
twitch chat
July 2020

League of Legends

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