Popular Copypastas

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.

HEY ALL U EASTER BUNNY🐰🐰🐰 HOES!!! Today is 🎉🎉Easter!! You know what that means🤔🤔🤔??? It’s time to HOP over to DADDYS house so he can FUCK😫😫💦💦💦 u like a rabbit!! Gotta get those Easter day cummies!! After u and daddy FUCK 😫💦 then it’s time for ⛪️church⛪️!!! Get ready for that HOLY DICK🍆🍆😍😍 because jesus is CUMMING😩🍆🍑💦 back from the dead today to FUCK THAT EASTER BUNNY PUSSY🐇😩🍆🍑😍💦😏😉. Then it’s time for the egg hunt 🕵🕵🕵!!! U better find an egg!! Search in every HOLE😘😩 CRACK 😫😍 and CREVICE 🤗😉😏 for the GRAND PRIZE 🤑😇 getting that 🏵🌸🌺PASTEL PUSSY🍑🍣🌮 RODE 🏇🏇🏇 into the Easter sunset! Send this to all ur other EASTER BUNNY🐰🐰🐰 HOES👄😫🍆💦. If u get 5️⃣ back ur a ROTTEN COLORED EGG!!! If u get 🔟 back ur a LOADED 💋👅🙌🏻😉😏💦💦 EASTER BASKET. If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back? UR GETTIN FUCKED 😱🍆🍑💦💦IN UR RABBIT 🐰🐇🐰HOLE TONIGHT!!!!

As a huge fan of Pokemon and someone who has played my fair share of video games, I strongly support Nintendo in their potential legal action against the developers of Palworld. In my opinion, what the developers have done is nothing short of blatant plagiarism. It is one thing to take inspiration from another artist's work and add one's own unique twist on it, but what Palworld has done goes far beyond that. The game's designs, including the creatures and their abilities, are almost identical to those of Pokemon. The overall feel and atmosphere of the game are also remarkably similar to Pokemon. It is as if the developers have taken the Pokemon world and simply given it a new name and coat of paint. It is important to note that this sort of plagiarism not only harms the gaming industry, but it also hurts the people who are genuinely creative and innovate within the industry. By allowing blatant copying of others' work to go unpunished, we send a message that original thought and creation are not valued. This, in turn, disincentivizes creativity and innovation in favor of simply taking ideas from others. Additionally, using a well-known brand and franchise like Pokemon without permission is a clear violation of intellectual property rights. By doing so, the developers of Palworld are profiting off of intellectual property that they do not own. This is a serious offense that can lead to negative legal consequences if Nintendo were to take legal action against them. In conclusion, I strongly support Nintendo in their potential legal actionagainst the developers of Palworld. Plagiarism has no place in the gaming industry, and allowing it to go unpunished sets a dangerous precedent that disincentivizes creativity and innovation. It is crucial that we protect intellectual property rights and reward those who are genuinely creative and innovative within the industry.

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Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding? Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been talking and we're looking to get married in the next year or so once it's safe. We've been talking seriously about this and we absolutely want to ensure that TOTAL PSYCHOPATH Jerma ABSOLUTELY does NOT come to our wedding. I was thinking maybe putting up “beware of sus guy” photos around the venue? Maybe watching his tier list videos and picking his least favorite snacks? How can we best do this, do you think? SHOULD we do this? Many thanks. (Oh, and P.S., if there’s a way we could invite Otto without his COMPLETELY UNHINGED RAT FILMOGRAPHER OWNER joining, that would be optimal :) )

Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces it’s changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution. Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex

You fool. You imbecile. You absolute buffoon. You cannot simply say "I'm gay! It's Opposite Day btw". The statement "It's Opposite Day" is paradoxical by nature. With the logic that everything said during Opposite Day is untrue, saying "It's Opposite Day" on Opposite Day negates that statement. Because the statement "It's Opposite Day" is now untrue, it is no longer Opposite Day and therefore your original remark is now correct. That means it IS opposite day, and a neverending cycle that is known as The Liar's Paradox is created. You were a complete idiot not to invoke the conditional clause. For example, if you were to say, "If it were opposite day, I'd be gay!" your statement would not be holed. You have been snared within a web of your own making. Listen to the sky crack and fall. The universe will implode on itself and it's your own fault.