[Copypasta] Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning 🌄, masculinity 💪🍆👀 is NO 🚫❌ LONGER 📏 LEGAL 🌍⚖. If you 👈 are masculine 👴, please 🙏🙇‍♂️ report 📄 to your 👈🏼 nearest 💞 Femboy 👗💁‍♂️ Education 🎓 Center 🏢✈, clean-shaven and wearing 👕👖👞 thigh-high socks 🧦. Those who fail 🚫 to follow 👣 these orders 📑🎁 WILL BE CANCELLED ❌🚷😡.
December 2020
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More Copypastas

I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021

I fucked Up DVD

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
April 2022

Classic

FNATIC World Championships

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October 2015
Riot Games

League of Legends

Captain Jean-Luc Picard facepalm

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June 2021

Mocking SpongeBob

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⠔⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠄⠈⢊⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠈⠍⡅⠆⠪⠄⣀⣀⡠⣀⣀⣠⡤⣀⡠⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⣮⠲⣿⠿⠦⣠⣴⣿⠘⣻⣧⣤⡠⠛⠛⢄⠐⠑⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠾⠵⠧⠟⠬⠭⣵⣶⣿⣻⡿⠠⠭⠝⣻⡥⠔⠪⡙⢠⣶⡕⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢘⠟⣗⣠⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⡐⢫⣉⡍⠂⠀⣋⢿⣿⠏⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠧⣫⣄⠀⠉⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠋⠀⢀⣤⡑⡀⠻⣢⠀⣶⠈⣆⠔⠒⠲⠕⡇⣇⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠻⠗⠀⢀⠌⡀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠘⠿⡣⠁⠀⡇⠓⠙⣁⠃⠀⠀⡠⠃⢡⣞⢳⡑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠲⣒⠥⠊⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠋⠭⠑⠊⠆⡔⠘⢢⢹⣿⡤⠔⣾⣿⢿⡘⠖⣱⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢏⣀⣠⠔⠁⡆⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢌⡍⠚⣾⢌⡇⠈⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⡠⣾⠿⠛⣋⣉⠭⠄⠀⢴⣿⠿⠆⠀⠸⣀⡒⢪⢌⠀⢹⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⢀⠊⠭⠔⠚⠭⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠀⠀⣘⣂⠾⠂⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠢⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠩⣿⢻⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣮⣮⢄⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⣆⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠒⠨⣽⣿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing