[Copypasta] Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 5, Finale 2)

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
March 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Tricky the Clown (HellClown)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⡇⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠀⢸⠋⣹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠌⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠞⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠈⢲⠒⡒⢾⣦⡀⣀⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⡟⣿⣿⡾⣿⣿⡅⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣿⡈⢿⣷⣽⡿⣣⣿⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠄⠀⠀⠰⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⡿⢃⣼⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣷⢈⣏⣴⣿⡥⠂⠀⠀⠀⢠⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠙⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠃⠀⠊⢀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣏⣸⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠃⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠁⠀⠀⠈⠈⢢⠤⢤⢠⣾⣏⡟⠋⠀⢀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠙⠃⠸⠾⠟⠐⠀⠙⠿⠋⢉⣀⠀⡈⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⡀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⣀⡀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢀⠉⠒⢮⣦⣠⣀⣀⣈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣦⢻⣦⠀⣠⣆⠈⠑⢌⠒⠺⠦⠤⠠⠎⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣾⣿⡄⣿⣦⣬⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠤⠐⠲⠾⢿⣷⣝⣻⣿⠹⡶⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣹⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣴⡋⠻⣿⣷⣗⢿⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣟⣿⣯⢿⣿⣶⣿⡿⠿⢷⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣻⣿⣧⢃⠀⠀⠛⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠋⠀⠈⢙⡽⠀⣾⣿⣿⣧⣜⣿ ⠉⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⢾⠀⠀⠀⣀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣩⣾⣿⣿⡽⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠘⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣄⣀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

My mom took away my Xbox

twitchquotes: My mom took away my Xbox. This is the saddest moment in my life. The most pain and unimaginable suffering I have ever felt before. Have I been a bad boy? Is that why she did what she did? I don’t know. I have so many questions. I also have depression because of lack of Xbox. I can’t play Minecraft. I love Minecraft so so much, it’s my favorite game in the entire world. Why would she take such joy and happiness away from me? Does she think I do bad things on there? If so, she should know that I join good Christian Minecraft servers only. That’s it.... I give up. I can’t fr*cking take another painful second of this anymore. This torture is what has been depressing me for so long. I swear to h**k, I’ll get that Xbox back if it kills me.
twitch chat
December 2018

Changing their username color so people don't notice

twitchquotes: There's 18,000 people watching stream right now, but there's literally the same 5 people posting the same *** constantly. All they do is change their username color so people don't notice. Such a shitty chat.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I hate the French language

I struggle to find the right words to describe just how much I hate the French language. I'm not racist but I think the world would really be a better place if all French speakers just stopped speaking French and learned a normal language. Nothing about this language remotely makes sense, or is even internally consistent. Why are there so many silent letters? Half the words have pronunciations which somewhat resemble their spelling, and the other half seems like French people just decided to add a bunch of letters so they can act like they're better than everyone else. The language seems like it's deliberately constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. Why the hell do verbs have different conjugations for you, me, he/she, we, you(plural), and them? Even the English language doesn't have that many arbitrary conjugations. I made an honest attempt to learn French, I really did, but the language is just filled with bullshit rules for grammar and everything else. Whichever way you look at it, it's almost as if French is constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. For real, English isn't my first language but I learned it just fine; trying to learn French after that feels like bashing my head against the wall. This is somewhat irrelevant, but I've heard that some French speakers who speak some English like to pretend they don't speak it when you talk to them. Why do you have to make life difficult for everyone, I'm not going to make fun of you for speaking English poorly. That's not even mentioning how metropolitan French has a superiority complex over other variations of French, all neutral observers will agree that they are equally shit. Also I've heard that some French speakers tend to discriminate against people who speak a local dialect of French, as if one version of a language is better than all others. Sure, the same thing happens with English, but at least the English language doesn't suck.
April 2022

Travis Scott Burger

I have a theory about the Travis Scott burger. I think it’s a sham. It’s all a multi million dollar misinformation campaign. McDonalds has been hurting for a new supply of beef due to the Covid 19 pandemic. With all of the meat processing plant closures, they had to look elsewhere to get their precious beef for the ever so hungry American. They needed a new supplier. This has to be nobody other than Travis Scott. You see, since marrying Kylie Jenner, he had access to all of her cosmetic company’s animal testing plants. It was easy for Travis to get ahold of meat... it was too easy. Travis knew McDonalds was desperate for new meat, so he struck while the iron was hot. Through a swift negotiation, he had the multi billion dollars corporation by the balls, the sweet sweet balls. Travis agreed to supply them with the meat, only he lead them to believe it was coming from cows when in reality he was harvesting the animals from the animal cosmetic testing lab. In exchange, he got his name on the McDonalds menu. All for what? Now you may be wondering how I came across this info. And you may be wondering who sent you this information. It was Cactus Jack. Cactus Jack sent this info.
October 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing