The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
MORB
⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⢿⣿⡟⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⢻
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⠈⡿⠀⠀⣼⡆⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⢀⣾
⣿⣿⣀⣀⣸⣿⣧⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢨⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠘⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Morbius
A scholar hates twitch chat
The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
I wanna troll Reynard too
twitchquotes:
How do I do the salt emote I wanna troll Reynard too
twitch chat
Reynad
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him.
All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry."
You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?"
Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream.
You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas.
In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow.
YOLO you whisper.
WallStreetBets
2 games 1 stream
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripparrian, this is Twitch Staff. We have noticed that you are trying to become a hardcore player again, since you broke the laws of physics and play 2 games on 1 stream, when the laws of physics clearly says: "How can there be 2 games, when only 1 channel?". We hope that you will stop this, and become a casual player again. Please don't repost this. Thank you.
twitch chat
Kripp