[Copypasta] Unless someone will DM me some feet pics

twitchquotes: Dear strimmer, I was thinking a lot lately about my life and my recent activity on twitch. thing is only thing that keep me in life at the moment are cute young female skimpy dressed streamers. Just wanted to tell that this is one of my last days on this already overpopulated planet. Unless someone will DM me some feet pics, those could keep me alive for a while Kappa
twitch chat
November 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020

YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS A JOKE

twitchquotes: You all think these are copypastas. YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS A JOKE, it is not a fucking joke. I am trying to CON-VER-SATE. You are so socially inept to even do this and I can’t carry you in this like everything else since it takes two to conversate. Pay attention. Think thoughts. Just do anything. I swear I don’t even know how your parent can tolerate you.
twitch chat
June 2020

I hate Twitch Chat

Get a life nerds

twitchquotes: Honestly though, copy-pasting the same thing over and over again, how dumb can all of you be? The more i post it, the funnier it gets ResidentSleeper You guys are so easy to trick into spamming. Get a life nerds
twitch chat
November 2019

Ubuntu logo

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣆⠸⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣷⡈⠻⠿⠟⠻⠿⢿⣷⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹ ⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⡘⢿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⣉⣉⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⢡⣾⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸ ⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⡿⢁⣴⣶⣦⣴⣶⣾⡿⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⠿⢿⡿⠿⠏⢰⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2022

Biden's America

The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers “1” “9” “8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it. “It’s for hunting,” you say. They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief. “One more thing.” You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes. “I need to see your vaccination card” It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes. “Don't worry, it will all be over soon” He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your “socialism is for figs” shirt into your arm. “Nighty night” Your world fades to black once more.
October 2021

Joe Biden

Politics

Text-to-Speech Playing