[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Stack 4 cans

Check out these 4 cans dude PogChamp / DrinkPurple So neatly stacked Check out these 4 cans PogChamp / DrinkPurple So neatly stacked Check out these 4 cans PogChamp / DrinkPurple So neatly stacked Check out these 4 cans PogChamp / DrinkPurple
twitch chat
August 2016

Kripp's salt

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–β–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’ β–’β–’β–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–€β–„β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–β–β–Œβ–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
November 2014
Kripp

Dear Liberals: Stop putting women in MY porn.

April 2022

My sister bet 100 dollars that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti

twitchquotes: My sister bet 100 dollars that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

nl_Kripp can you stop it with all the salt?

twitchquotes: nl_Kripp can you stop it with all the salt? I was trapped in a salt mine for 3 days straight without any water or food. I only survived by drinking my own urine and eating my toes. Every time I see you spitting salt everywhere it gives me terrible PTSD flashbacks. Thanks.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

salty

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