[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

KFC rejection letter

Hi Sophie, Thank you for your application to Team KFC. We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for. But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future. Best Wishes, Team KFC
October 2021

How come we can't ever invade a cool country (Generation Kill)

Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come countries like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
March 2021

Harambe I'm coming

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan πŸ”« HARAMBE I'M COMING FeelsGoodMan πŸ”«
twitch chat
August 2016

Classic

Harambe

good news, my sisters pregnant!

good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
March 2021

female streamer

twitchquotes: ok, so i need some advice, there is this female streamer ive been watching for like 3 years, i've donated around $10,000 and bought about a dozen items on her amazon wishlist, she always calls me cute and now im her mod! im thinking of asking her out soon what do you guys think?
twitch chat
November 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing