[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
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Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes

twitchquotes: Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Tavern Brawl. Now I remember why I fell asl... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
November 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

Kripparrian Lord of the Saltmen has returned to me

twitchquotes: ( ͡ᴏ ͜ʖ ͡ᴏ) I ᴡᴀʟᴋ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴀʏs, ʜᴀs ɪᴛ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜs. sᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇʀs ʙᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ sᴛᴀʏs ʟᴏʏᴀʟ. ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ɪ ʟᴏᴏᴋ. ᴄᴀɴ ɪᴛ ʙᴇ sᴏ? ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ ʟᴏʀᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴛᴍᴇɴ ʜᴀs ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ. ɪ ᴀᴍ sᴏ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏᴄʜɪɴᴏ ᴍᴀᴄʜᴘᴀᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ( ͡ᴏ ͜ʖ ͡ᴏ)
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

FunPlus Pheonix logo

twitchquotes: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠟⢡⣿⣧⣴⡶⠶⣦⣄⣀⣼⣿⡌⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠀⠉⢋⣽⣿⣇⠀⠹⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡟⣿⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣿⢻⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠁⠹⣇⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠇⠀⣸⠏⢘⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣇⠘⠧⠀⠠⡶⠤⠽⡿⢿⡿⣧⢤⣤⢼⡿⠿⢤⣶⡤⠤⠾⣧⣾⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⡇⠰⢶⡇⢸⡇⣿⢀⠻⢸⣿⡄⠈⢿⠃⢀⣾⣣⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣶⣄⣀⣇⣸⣿⣇⣘⣁⣿⣸⣆⣸⣿⣿⡄⠀⢀⣾⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡏⣩⠉⡏⣿⣿⠉⣿⢹⠋⣭⣹⣿⣿⠃⠀⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣤⣴⡇⠿⢿⠀⠿⢸⠗⠦⢸⣿⠃⢀⣾⡄⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠓⠛⠛⣳⡶⢞⡷⢒⡞⢳⠒⢾⠳⢶⣞⠛⠓⠒⠒⠛⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣋⣰⡏⠀⣼⠀⠘⣇⠀⢳⣄⣹⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢶⣴⣿⠀⠀⣿⣤⡾⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠷⠞⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Why do so many people watch this washed up player?

twitchquotes: Why do so many people watch this washed up player? He is so bad at this game. Why is his hair so long? Does hair length have a connection to a players skill? Is that why girls are so bad at league?
twitch chat
December 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp
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