[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Mill druid is a great example of the theory of relativity

twitchquotes: Mill druid is a great example of the theory of relativity. The closer you get to the mill horizon the more time expands, eventually becoming infinite. ResidentSleeper
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January 2015
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Attention all Smash Bros Gamers

twitchquotes: Attention all Smash Bros Gamers, Kirby is in great danger, and he needs YOUR help to save all the innocent characters murdered and possessed by Galeem. To do this, he needs a Warp Star and a couple of Maximum Tomatoes. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three numbers on the back, and the expiration month and date. But you gotta be quick so that Kirby can secure the Spirits, and save billions of video game characters you know and love!
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December 2018

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Hey Aura, thanks for telling me about Energizer batteries

twitchquotes: Hey Aura, thanks for telling me about Energizer batteries. Before Energizer I would be listening to my walkman and the battery would die and then I could hear my wife in the other room having sex with you. That would lead me to tears. Now using Energizer the battery doesn't die as quickly and I can listen to your VODs that I ripped without your permission on repeat and not notice her taking it hard. I don't need to rehydrate as often since I won't be crying. Thank you
twitch chat
July 2020
Aurateur

Barack Obama

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠋⠛⠛⠛⠻⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢠⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⢀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠄⠄⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡈⢔⠸⣐⢕⢕⢵⢰⢱⢰⢐⢤⡡⡢⣕⢄⢢⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠂⠅⢕⠌⡎⡎⣎⢎⢮⢮⣳⡳⣝⢮⢺⢜⢕⢕⢍⢎⠪⡐⠄⠁⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⢅⠣⡡⡣⣣⡳⡵⣝⡮⣗⣗⡯⣗⣟⡮⡮⣳⣣⣳⢱⢱⠱⣐⠄⠂⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢂⢈⠢⡱⡱⡝⣮⣿⣟⣿⣽⣷⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣾⣯⣗⡕⡇⡇⠄⠂⡀⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢀⢂⢕⢸⢨⢪⢳⡫⣟⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡺⡮⡣⡣⠠⢂⠒⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠐⠄⡂⠆⡇⣗⣝⢮⢾⣻⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣽⣯⡯⣺⢸⢘⠨⠔⡅⢨⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⠉⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⡂⡪⡪⡪⡮⡮⡯⣻⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⡯⣯⡺⡸⡰⡱⢐⡅⣼⣿ ⣿⠡⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠈⠆⠱⠑⠝⠜⠕⡝⡝⣞⢯⢿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣽⣷⣽⡸⡨⡪⣂⠊⣿⣿ ⣿⠡⠄⡨⣢⠐⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠍⡓⣗⡽⣝⠽⠍⠅⠑⠁⠉⠘⠘⠘⠵⡑⢜⢀⢀⢉⢽ ⣿⠁⠠⢱⢘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠈⠱⣁⠜⡘⠌⠄⠄⡪⣳⣟⡮⢅⠤⠠⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠈⡂⢲⡪⡠⣿ ⣿⡇⠨⣺⢐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠤⡠⡢⢒⠦⠠⠄⠄⠄⡸⢽⣟⢮⠢⡂⡐⠄⡈⡀⠤⡀⠄⠑⢄⠨⢸⡺⣐⣿ ⣿⣿⠈⠕⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡂⡪⡐⡥⢤⣰⣰⣰⡴⡮⠢⠂⠄⠄⡊⢮⢺⢕⢵⢥⡬⣌⣒⡚⣔⢚⢌⢨⢚⠌⣾⡪⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡑⢕⢕⡯⡷⣕⢧⢓⢭⠨⡀⠄⡂⠨⡨⣪⡳⣝⢝⡽⣻⣻⣞⢽⣲⢳⢱⢡⠱⠨⣟⢺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⡅⠇⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠨⢪⢹⢽⢽⣺⢝⠉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⢌⢎⡖⡯⡎⡗⢝⠜⣶⣯⣻⢮⡻⣟⣳⡕⠅⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠔⡑⠕⠝⠄⡀⠄⠄⠊⢆⠂⠨⡪⣺⣮⣿⡾⡜⣜⡜⣄⠙⢞⣿⢿⡿⣗⢝⢸⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠠⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠊⠺⡹⠳⡙⡜⡓⡭⡺⡀⠄⠣⡻⡹⡸⠨⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⣂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠤⡤⡄⡆⡯⡢⡣⡣⡓⢕⠽⣄⠄⠨⡂⢌⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠆⠄⠸⡂⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠈⠄⠂⠁⠙⠝⠼⠭⠣⠣⠣⠑⠌⠢⠣⡣⡠⡘⣰⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢑⠄⠈⡱⠄⢘⠄⡀⠨⢐⣧⣳⣷⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⡶⠄⡠⡢⡕⣜⠎⡮⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠢⠄⠨⠄⠄⠣⡀⠄⢀⢀⢙⠃⡿⢿⠿⡿⡿⢟⢋⢔⡱⣝⢜⡜⡪⡪⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠅⠄⠡⠄⠄⠡⢀⢂⠢⡡⠡⠣⡑⣏⢯⡻⡳⣹⡺⡪⢎⠎⡆⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠁⠄⢈⠄⢂⠕⡕⡝⢕⢎⢎⢮⢎⢯⢺⢸⢬⠣⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠨⡐⠌⢆⢇⢧⢭⣣⡳⣵⢫⣳⢱⠱⢑⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⡊⢌⢢⢡⢣⢪⡺⡪⡎⡎⡎⡚⣨⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠕⡅⢗⢕⡳⡭⣳⢕⠕⡱⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠌⠄⠑⠩⢈⢂⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⢄⠄⣀⠄⡀⣀⢠⢄⣖⣖⣞⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣱⡐⡕⡕⡽⣝⣟⣮⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣽⣸⣃⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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