[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

mizkifHalt

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣶⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣿⣿⣿⢀⡀⢰⣦⢀⣠⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⡇⣶⡄ ⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⡇⣿⡇ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⡇⣿⡇ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⠫⠭⠶⢦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⢱⣬⡙⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⠃ ⣀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣬⣝⣛⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⡒⠢⠭⠤⢹⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣦⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣓⣘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
November 2021
Mizkif

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

In japan we we say 乇乂ㄒ尺卂 ㄒ卄丨匚匚

twitchquotes: In japan we don't say 'I love you' we say 乇乂ㄒ尺卂 ㄒ卄丨匚匚 which doesn't mean anything it just spells out 'Extra Thicc' in japanese symbols.
twitch chat
July 2017

Doraemon

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠶⣶⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⢀⠈⢿⢀⣀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⣟⡇⢘⣾⣽⠀⠀⡏⠉⠙⢛⣿⣷⡖⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠷⠶⠤⠙⠒⠀⠒⢻⣿⣿⡷⠋⠀⠴⠞⠋⠁⢙⣿⣄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠋⠉⠹⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣇⣀⣀⣀⣛⣛⣒⣲⢾⡷ ⢀⠤⠒⠒⢼⣿⣿⠶⠞⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃ ⢮⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠻⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⠉⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀ ⠈⠓⠶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠈⠒⢤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡠⠚⠁⠀⢀⡼⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⣤⣤⣤⣴⣟⠁
ascii art
July 2020

PC vs console youtube comment

Says the poor brainless console peasant. No mods, no money to achieve high performance, no creativity to set up your own devices. Calling me pathetic lol, I actually work and gather money for Gaming PC whilst you console peasants probably beg to your parents for buying you a console. So tell me, have you been a good brat by doing house chores?
June 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing