[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Dadnad and Momnad

twitchquotes: hello son, Dadnad here. Please don't waste your life away in front of that computer playing some card game. Text that girl, Lea, and play that guitar for her. Did I ever tell you that's how I woo'd Momnad? Kids these days, don't let me down, son.
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad

Pepe 200 IQ

⠄⣠⣤⣤⣄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣤⡓⠦⢤⣤⣤⣤⣔⠦⢤⣀⣀⣤⣤⢤⣀⣤⣤⣤⡀⠄ ⡿⠿⠗⣽⣿⠊⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠈⣾⣿⠁⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⣱⣿⡟⠄⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⠋⠈⠄⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⢠⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠄⢠⠄⠄⣿⣿⢰⢸⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄ ⠞⢿⡿⠿⠿⠄⠘⠻⠷⠿⣋⣚⣌⡻⠷⠿⢟⣘⡆⢚⡄⠿⠟⢸⣬⡛⢷⣿⣋⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠉⢐⣒⣒⡒⠎⠻⡿⣛⣩⠭⠭⢤⣀⣀⠄ ⢸⡍⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡓⠕⣊⣭⠥⠄⠄⢩⣍⢿⡏⣴⣶⠡⠄⠐⣮⣝⠳ ⠸⢲⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣉⡻⠿⠆⠄⠄⠜⣋⣼⣷⣉⠿⠦⠤⣂⣡⡶⠂ ⠄⠸⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣫⣿⣿⣟⠻⠿⠿⢟⣛⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⢉⣉⠉⣠⣄⠄⣠⣤⡀⣠⣤⣀⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠘⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣀⡁⠭⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣀⣉⠄⠉⠙⠉⠋⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣤⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣝⣛⡒⠤⠭⠉⢩⣭⠍⣿⢛⣛⣛⡛⢛⣃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡜⢿⠌⣵⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

Twin Towers

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April 2018

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat
May 2017

I sexually Identify as

I'm a level 20, diamond 1 smurf who mains ADC Taric

twitchquotes: What’s so special about this? Seriously, i am a level 20, diamond 1 smurf who mains adc taric. I was playing with a Morganna support vs a katarina, she did the same exact thing. Seriously, i see all morg mains make simple plays like these. Nothing INSANE about this basic hig-elo play, you cardboard scrubs. 
twitch chat
November 2014
Trick2g
Text-to-Speech Playing