[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I deserve challenjour

twitchquotes: qt how do i get out of elo hell ive been bronze 5 for 3 years now i main janna adc and i build 5 spirit visages but i keep dying to the golems even when i use smite i know i deserve challenjour so pls help me out senpai masteronii
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February 2015
imaqtpie

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Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
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Classic

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Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck youโ€™re masturbating to will see โ€œyou are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โ€ will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, Iโ€™d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
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To protect the world from ad-vestation

twitchquotes: To protect the world from ad-vestation. TableHere To unite all adblockers within our nation. TableHere Jesse TableHere James TableHere Meowth's the name TableHere Team AdBlock blasts off at the speed of light! TableHere Surrender your revenue now or prepare to fight! TableHere
twitch chat
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Pokemon Marathon 2018

Creepy Spongebob

โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ”ˆโ•ฑโ•ญโ–โ•ฎโ•ญโ”ปโ”ปโ•ฎโ•ญโ”ปโ”ปโ•ฎโ•ญโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ•ฎโ•ฐโ–โ•ฏโ”ƒโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ”ƒโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ•ฐโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ•ฏโ”ˆโ–โ”ˆโ”—โ”ปโ”ปโ”›โ”—โ”ปโ”ปโ”ปโ•ฎโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ•ญโ•ฎโ–โ•ฎโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”โ”โ”โ”โ•ฏโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ•ฐโ•ฏโ–โ•ฏโ•ฐโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ•ฏโ•ญโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ”ˆโ•ญโ–โ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒโ”ˆโ•ฐโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ”ˆโ•ฐโ–โ•ฐโ•ฏโ•ฐโ”โ”โ”โ”โ•ฏโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „
December 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing