[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Just saw Trump in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just saw Trump in a hotel and I asked if he was going to win the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while chanting “make America great again” over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will
twitch chat
December 2020

2020 US Election

DL aka “Dropped Liability” is an ex-ADC player for TL

twitchquotes: DL aka “Dropped Liability” is an ex-ADC player for TL that is often ridiculed for his inability to use the summoner spell Flash. He is specifically known for his “Everyone is trash” mindset, which he only recently realized applied mostly to himself.
twitch chat
March 2020
Doublelift

League of Legends

deadmau5

⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠋⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠙⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣾⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⢾⣿⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⠃⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⡤⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2019

If the human body is 75% water...

twitchquotes: If the human body is 75% water, how can you be 100% salt? Kappa
twitch chat
September 2015
Reynad

salty

So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2

twitchquotes: So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
November 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing