[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
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More Copypastas

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021

That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. Kreygasm He could be a Calvin Klein model. Kreygasm Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. Kreygasm That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. Kreygasm
twitch chat
October 2020

Catarrian hungry

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Catarrian here. Far too long have I meowed and you've ignored my plea for food. Here you are bragging to everybody about the militant "vegan" that you are, yet you neglect animals. It's time everybody knows the truth meow so we can report your sorry Romanian *** to PETA.แ•™เป’(หต๏ฟฃแดฅ๏ฟฃหต)เฅญแ•—
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Fruit towers

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘
twitch chat
August 2018

Nice hack QVC!

twitchquotes: Nice hack QVC! We all know you are hacking there is no way you would be able to guess all this! Thanks for everything im unfollowing. I hope you mommy never bakes you cookies again. 5up 4 life! HAHA ZOOMERS MALDING!
twitch chat
November 2020
xQcOW

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing