[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Niga Higa Bromance song lyrics

🌈 BROMANCE πŸ‘Š nothing really gay πŸ₯΅ about it πŸ’― not that there's πŸ‘Œ anything wrong with being KappaPride gay 🌈 BROMANCE πŸ‘Š shouldn't be ashamed πŸ‘€ or hide it πŸ‘€ I love you 😍 in the most heterosexual way πŸ† πŸ’¦
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Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you. Do you remember when you used to turn me on all the time? Now that you're a big time gaming memester, I get as much use as the surfboard and your guitar. I miss you and I hope you use my 29 watts soon
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AYAYA RUNNING LOW ON CUTIES

twitchquotes: MOSHI MOSHI πŸ“ž AYAYA RUNNING LOW ON CUTIES πŸ“ž AYAYA NEED BACKUP πŸ“ž AYAYA ARIGATO πŸ“ž AYAYA
twitch chat
April 2019

Weebs

Classic

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

Real hardcore gamers play at least 4 games at a time

twitchquotes: οΌ’ games at ο½”ο½ˆο½… same ο½”ο½‰ο½ο½…οΌŸ ο½†ο½‰ο½Œο½”ο½ˆο½™ ο½ƒο½ο½“ο½•ο½ο½ŒοΌŽ ο½’ο½…ο½ο½Œ ο½ˆο½ο½’ο½„ο½ƒο½ο½’ο½… gamers ο½ο½Œο½ο½™ at ο½Œο½…ο½ο½“ο½” οΌ” games ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆ ο½ο½Žο½… ο½ˆο½ο½Žο½„ tied ο½‚ο½…ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½„ ο½”ο½ˆο½…ο½‰ο½’ ο½‚ο½ο½ƒο½‹οΌŽ ο½“ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½•ο½“ο½Œο½™ ο½‹ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½οΌŒ if you ο½—ο½ο½Žο½” to keep your viewers you better step it ο½•ο½οΌŽ ο½“ο½‰ο½Žο½ƒο½…ο½’ο½…ο½Œο½™οΌŒ a ο½“ο½ο½ο½Ž to be ο½…ο½˜οΌο½‹ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½ο½Œο½…ο½”
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
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