[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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I cannot wait to see RED BULL BARON POWER PLAY

twitchquotes: I cannot wait to see RED BULL BARON POWER PLAY, after they won the GRUB HUB teamfight. Maybe they can get those HONDA turrets, too! After they win the game, I can go tweet to get on their VERIZON all chat during the STATE FARM analyst desk
twitch chat
June 2021
LCS

League of Legends

sellout

Rice farmer in Polynesia

twitchquotes: Hello my name is muambashu and i am a rice farmer in polynesia. I made my computer out of rubber from gum trees and banana leaves. Please help me defeat corporations by following in my footsteps and not understanding money. Please no copy pasterino
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

Twitch chat isn’t that dumb

twitchquotes: Twitch chat isn’t that dumb. They don’t just copy paste anything. Believe it or not, most people in chat have functioning brains. Watch, no one in chat will repost this message.
twitch chat
April 2019

Nam or die

⣿⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⢻ ⣿⠄⠄⡀⠈⢿⠄⠄⣿⡟⠉⢉⣉⠉⠙⢿⣿⠄⢰⠄⠹⠇⠄⡆⠄⢸ ⣿⠄⠄⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⣿⡋⠉⠡⠶⠂⠄⢸⣿⠄⢸⣇⠄⠄⣼⡇⠄⢸ ⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⣶⣾⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠰⣾⡆⠄⢈⣿⠄⠄⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⣉⡉⠉⠛⢿⣿⠉⠉⢹⣿⠉⠉⢉⣉⣉⣉⣹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⡆⠄⢈⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⠄⠄⢈⣉⣉⣉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠉⠉⣀⣀⣾⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
January 2019

My boss recently discovered Among Us

Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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