[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

its morbin time

⣐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣅⡠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢹⣿⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⢸⣿⣿⣷⡀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣶ ⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣾ ⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⠀⠀⠉⠙⠉⠉⠁⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀ its morbin time
ascii art
July 2022

Morbius

Who is this salt vegan casual - Rania's cat

twitchquotes: Here i was, minding my own business, when suddenly this potato headed idiot just waltzes right into my life alwasy yelling 'topdeck this' and 'insane that'. who the *** is this salty vegan casual? i just want to eat and sleep all day, not listen to this oj guzzling nerd. Rania pls. -- sincerely, cat
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

It's already priced in

twitchquotes: Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
twitch chat
April 2020

Naxx beta key on Kripp's Pornhub profile

twitchquotes: ＮＡＸＸ　ＢＥＴＡ　ＯＵＴ Iɴғᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ғʀᴇᴇ Nᴀxx ᴋᴇʏ ᴛᴏ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ's ᴘᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ ᴘʀᴏғɪʟᴇ (ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜʟɪɢʜᴛᴇᴅ ᴄᴀᴛ ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ). Gᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ǫᴜɪᴄᴋʟʏ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ɢᴏɴᴇ, ᴏɴʟʏ 463 ɴᴀxx ᴋᴇʏs ʟᴇғᴛ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Sloth

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠻⠿⢿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠈⠉⠉⠄⢠⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⡬⠛⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠅⠄⠅⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠁⠤⠄⠛⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⣀⣠⣀⠄⢈⣑⣢⣤⡄⠔⠫⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⠂⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣔⠂⡙⣿⣿ ⡿⠄⠄⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⣿ ⠇⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠿⢿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⣼ ⠄⠄⠽⠿⠟⠋⠁⠙⠄⢠⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡠⢌⣧⠄⠈⠛⠉⠛⠐⡋⢹ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⡿⠑⠚⠋⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠈⠄⢸ ⣄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣾⠟⠋⠛⠛⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠂⠛⡿⢟⠻⠃⠄⢼⣿⣿⣷⠤⠁⢸ ⣿⡄⠄⢀⢝⢓⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠠⠶⢺⣿⣯⣵⣦⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠠⢾⣷⣄⢄⣀⡈⡀⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢏⣀⣾ ⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠈⠈⠙⠑⠗⠙⠙⠛⠄⠈⠹⠻⢿⡻⣿⠿⢿⣝⡑⢫⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠐⠚⣨⣤⣾⣿⣿
ascii art
November 2018
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing