[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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why are you gay

"why are you gay" i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him 😏😏😏 so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
May 2022

Peter Griffin Slug

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣖⣿⠿⢿⣿⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡋⢩⡟⡟⢳⣽⣻⣍⣧⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣯⡯⡄⢦⣳⡶⢞⣿⣵⣽⡏⠋⣽⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠋⠁⠀⠀⠨⠽⣟⠛⠛⣿⣿⣮⠈⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡠⣠⡀⠘⢾⣽⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠄⠀⠀⢀⢨⣿⣥⣠⣄⣿⣿⡅⠁⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠶⠺⠳⠄⠀⠀⠀⠰⠈⠭⠝⠊⠿⠅⠁⠐⠀⣧⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢾⠏⢥⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣈⣟⣳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⣁⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡆⠐⢨⡷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠟⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⢾⡿⣯⣀⢋⡿⡆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠖⣴⣴⢟⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠢⡀⢻⣿⣃⢽⠇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡃⡀⠀⠀⠀⣘⠽⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡀⢠⡄⠀⢀⣼⣿⡜⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢒⣆⣔⣲⣶⣶⣤⡴⣟⠛⡋⠖⠪⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣽⡧⡎⣤⠆⢰⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠉⠉⣉⠚⠛⠊⠘⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⢾⡟⣿⣿⡶⣝⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣼⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⢿⣽⣾⣽⡟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣮⣞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡉⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢚⢲⣶⣤⣤⣤⣦⣥⡽⠶⡟⡛⠇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡻⡦⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠈⠀⠀⠀⠦⢘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣀⡀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠘⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠻⣷⣤⠄⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⡄⣠⡔⠀⣾⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣤⠞⡯⠀⠈⠁⠙⠇⠀⠰⠶⠿⠷⠿⠟⠛⠛⠷⠾⠿⠿⠿⢾⠻⠯⠁⠀⢰⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣴⣺⠿⢭⡭⠉⠉⠉⢐⡙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⠾⠋⠹⠍⠛⠱⠛⠿⢿⢶⣴⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠈⢡⣔⣠⣥⣼⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣦⢬⣭⣾⣧⣓⡀⡤⢈⡙⢣⣝⡳⠞⡃⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠀⢀⣶⣴⣦⣥⡀⠐⠟⢟⠛⡛⠛⠿⠻⢛⠛⢛⠭⠈⢌⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⠛⠺⠾⠿⠇⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠶⠦⠿⢿⣿⣽⣿⣦⣀⣦⣭⣭⠵⠤⠦⠴⠾⠦⠤⠤⠶⠶⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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May 2022

Family Guy

Taric

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⢙⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢫⢛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⠀⠀⢀⣳⣾⣿⣉⣉⠉⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⡶⠅⢿⣿⣿⣯⣸⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣚⣶⣤⠗⠙⠏⢃⠒⠢⠚⠂⠂⠀⣿⣿⠇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢛⣻⡆⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠋⠠⠂⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣹⡏⠻⢿⣿⣿⠄⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡟⠀⠀⣾⣿⡄⠀⠀⡃⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣶⣶⣄⢿⣿⣿⣄⠀⡠⠀⢀⣀⠤⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣮⠉⠉⣀⡠⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣻⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡉⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⡕⠁⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠟⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢓⠤⣰⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⡿⢛⡡⠊⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠁⠒⠉⠭⠭⠭⠑⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠤⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠠⠄⠂⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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March 2022

League of Legends

His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021

forsenWhip

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November 2021
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