[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Expect some Netflix server issues

twitchquotes: Just a quick reminder. If you are a Netflix subscriber in the US East area - expect some server issues. Lots of single females are going to spend their day at home watching netflix and eating chocolate beacuse mason is not going to go out with them on valentines day because he is focused on getting Top 10 Rank in Dota 2.
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How about you respect people's wishes and not copy paste?

twitchquotes: Really? Is saying "Don't copy paste this" some secret phrase for "actually copy paste this". How about you respect people's wishes and not copy paste if they ask you not to. Please don't copy paste this.
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twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
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twitchquotes: ◥·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿◤ This is the Totemic Might police, you're coming with us Reynad. ◥·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿◤
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Illuminati confirmed. Get rekt CLG

twitchquotes: FInals being played in MSG. Who else plays in MSG? The Knicks. Who's with the Knicks? Phil Jackson. What is Phil Jackson famous for? 3-peats. What is TSM trying to do today? 3-peat. Illuminati confirmed. Get rekt CLG.
twitch chat
August 2015
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Text-to-Speech Playing