I used to be a real ad
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where the vegan sun don't shine

twitchquotes: Hey dirtbag, this is Pogo's father. I hear you trash talking my son and ignoring my wife. I know you got some weird murloc fetish but you better pick my son or I'll get my old high school buddy Tanner and we will shove those carrots where the vegan sun don't shine.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

what's the point in correcting me

what the fuck is the point in correcting me. You think I don't know how to spell "your"? I shortened it to "ur" because I was eating chips and typing one handed and didn't want to bother with those 2 extra letters just to please a fucking lifeless fat neckbeard like you. Stop thinking you're smart just because you can correct somebody's spelling, you seem like a total fucking idiot jackass and I'm ashamed and disappointed that on the internet where there are millions of comments and commentors, I was still stuck with a response written by somebody like you. You obviously knew what I meant, it's not like I spelt "your" as "s;ldkfjs;dlfkj". Take your fucking dildo keyboard out your crusty ass and realize that maybe you have no friends and plans tonight because you're an unlikeable cumstain who repels everybody away like opposite poles on a magnet. The next time you comment like a fucking moron, ask yourself "would I rather write this useless comment or would I rather clean my fucking act up and stop being a little shitter". My New Years resolution is to never have the misfortune of you coming across any more of my comments and throwing up your shitty insight at me.
December 2020
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Game on!

twitchquotes: Hey everyone! Google employee here. Looks like you guys are having a good time Kappa. Just a friendly reminder to link your Google+ account and avoid streaming any copyrighted material. Game on!
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

Holding Galactic Virgins

Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces itโ€™s changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution. Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex
December 2020

WallStreetBets

IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ***SQUID GAME REFERENCE***??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ HOLY FUCKING SHITโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING SQUID GAME REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ SQUID GAME IS THE BEST FUCKING SHOW ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ GI-HUN IS SO HOTTTTT ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต COME PLAY DDJAKI WITH ME ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ YOU CAN PAY WITH YOUR BODY ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ˜Ÿ MUGUNGHWA KKOCI PIEOT SEUMNIDA ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜  Whatโ€™s the gameโ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game! Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the gameโ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game! Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Oh no you failed the game!๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ Player 69420 eliminated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ r/squidgamememes r/unexpectedsquidgame r/expectedsquidgame perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance ๐Ÿฆ‘๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿฆ‘๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿฆ‘๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿฆ‘๐ŸŽฎ โบ๐Ÿ”ผโนโบ๐Ÿ”ผโนโบ๐Ÿ”ผโน ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
October 2021
I used to be a real ad

Soju special starter kit

Soju special stater kit โœ” already won the game โœ” This lobbyโ€™s playing for second โœ” This is my last loss โœ” I win out from here โœ” My board is too lit โœ” HP is fake โœ” Iโ€™m about to spike hard โœ” Thatโ€™s a fake loss โœ” 20hp? Thatโ€™s 3 lives โœ” This game is over โœ” We win out โœ” We're actually scaling โœ” last loss โœ” it's a fast 9 โœ” going eif
July 2022
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

Hey reckfulโ€™s brain, reckfulโ€™s chat here

twitchquotes: Hey reckfulโ€™s brain, reckfulโ€™s chat here. The way you make reckful sad all the time is not very cash money of you. I donโ€™t think itโ€™s very considerate of you to make reckful feel this way. He already has a hard time with being bipolar, why are you so mean to reckful? I try to make him happy but you do not make it easy. Reckful is a good guy and doesnโ€™t need you in his head all the time making things harder. Fix your chemical imbalance brain, it will make everyone feel better.
twitch chat
August 2019
Reckful

Dex sits in a huge doghouse

twitchquotes: A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a huge doghouse. Full and content because of his "kibbles and bits" diet, he's too happy to move. He's so happy, and enjoys life. He knows his owner has hope of a 12 win run. He knows he could draw attention to himself, since he's the king of his house. In a single act of pride, Dex barks to give Kripp his praise. "Good boy Dex" is his response.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Decided I will no longer be paying taxes

Decided I will no longer be paying taxes. What are they gonna do, tax me more? Go ahead. I wont pay those either Oh im going to prison? The one paid for by my tax dollars? Sorry. Didn't pay em. Now there is no prison. I am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times.
June 2021

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son

twitchquotes: Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son. Please Toast, could you give my dad some time off? I never get to play with him anymore ever since patch 9.14. I remember all the fun we used to have before he was so busy, he used to teach me chain attacks and always said "I never say no to a good ol cursed blade!". Whenever he comes home he seems too tired to play, his attack speed is 15% less! Since he left my mom's not been the same and she hits me, she'd never do this if my dad was here. Please Mr Toast.
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

1 Kappa = 1 Prayer

twitchquotes: Don't forget. As Kaceytron once said... Forsen is a 19 year old Russian fanboy that has obvious drug and alcohol problems. Let's all share this message to let people be aware of the danger of being a roleplaying streamer. 1 Kappa = 1 Prayer.
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

What happened to Overwatch's DPS heroes?

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I'm new to overwatch. Is there a reason that they aren't using any damage heroes? How are they supposed to get kills without dps? Are they deleted or banned or something?
twitch chat
February 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning ๐ŸŒ„, masculinity ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€ is NO ๐ŸšซโŒ LONGER ๐Ÿ“ LEGAL ๐ŸŒโš–. If you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ are masculine ๐Ÿ‘ด, please ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™‡โ€โ™‚๏ธ report ๐Ÿ“„ to your ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ nearest ๐Ÿ’ž Femboy ๐Ÿ‘—๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ Education ๐ŸŽ“ Center ๐Ÿขโœˆ, clean-shaven and wearing ๐Ÿ‘•๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿ‘ž thigh-high socks ๐Ÿงฆ. Those who fail ๐Ÿšซ to follow ๐Ÿ‘ฃ these orders ๐Ÿ“‘๐ŸŽ WILL BE CANCELLED โŒ๐Ÿšท๐Ÿ˜ก.
December 2020

Purpose of Twitch chat

twitchquotes: What is the purpose of twitch if not to let those with introversion let out their wierdest inner thoughts in writing through random emotes to an awkward king like forsen. Please no cheese in my pizza. Fettuccini Alfredo
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Dear Reynad, I've really grown to appreciate the rivalry between you and Amaz

twitchquotes: Dear Reynad, I've really grown to appreciate the rivalry between you and Amaz. However with the recent Supreme Court allowing the two of you to finally wed, I worry that it wont continue. Please assure me that this classic rivalry will continue... KappaPride
twitch chat
June 2015
Reynad

bears are always fucked

Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿป this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Chat has just turned into a cesspool

twitchquotes: At this point in the night the chat has just turned into a cesspool. There is no point in trying to have a meaningful discussion with anyone, it's just copy pasta this PJ Salt that. And the worst part is no one in the chat knows how to play the game so they just give ass advice. If this gets copied I will leave.
twitch chat
August 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. Itโ€™s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. Itโ€™s a ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿป legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflationโ€ฆ He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to beโ€ฆ transitory. He became so powerfulโ€ฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
May 2022

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad

Can someone here add me on Transformice?

twitchquotes: Can someone here add me on Transformice? But it has to be later, my mom broke my PC hahaha. If boys want to add me just send a happy face, for girls that wants to befriends with me: send a foot pic. FrankerZ
twitch chat
May 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing