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3Head You have entered BREXIT

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ 3Head You have entered BREXIT. Type 3Head to become a citizen. β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
August 2019

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie?

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch...
August 2021

Navy Seal

I used to be a real ad

Tyler1 6 foot 5

twitchquotes: @loltyler1 hi man it was cool to meet you in Las Vegas. I had to get my drivers license update from 6 foot 1 to 7 foot 1 after meeting you because you’re 6 foot 5 and I didn’t realize I had my height so wrong. Again thanks for chatting, it was cool to meet you :)
twitch chat
December 2018
Tyler1

A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage

twitchquotes: A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage far too small for himself. Malnourished because of his "vegan" diet, his ribs are clearly visible through his coat. He barely has the energy to move, let alone enjoy life. Yet, he knows there's hope. He knows he could draw attention to himself, as he hears Kripp constantly talking to someone. In a single act of defiance, Dex barks to draw attention to his dire situation. "Quiet, Dex" is his only reply as Kripp ignores his pleas yet again.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Patient #69 Thijs

twitchquotes: Day 63: Patient #69 still calls himself "Thijs" and thinks he live in Netherlands. Almost every day he plays a children's magic poker game and talks to the screen, every day he must take a pill but he calls it "T-time". Our doctors will continue monitoring #69.
twitch chat
January 2019
Thijs

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad

The whole twitch chat "sub-culture" is strange to me

twitchquotes: The whole twitch chat "sub-culture" is so... strange to me. I put on a streamer and the chat is just animated emojis of pepes and some random guy laughing, almost no actual conversation. And that's after installing the damn extension to see those things. Before it was just a constant barrage of "LUL pepega ezclap" and I had no clue what the fuck was going on, or what a monkAS was...
twitch chat
January 2019

I miss Julio the donkey

twitchquotes: Hello, my name its Juan Pastas Copyrino. Sorry my england. Last week donkey Julio died outside of the house. I loved Julio. Every day we ride to work together. I also spoke donkey language better than my england. Julio and me always talked for hours about business and the political situation here. But now Julio is in donkey heaven. I miss him
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

I own a musket for base defense (Palworld)

I own a musket for base defense, since that's what the developers intended. Four Syndicate dunderheads breach my front gate. "What the Ignis?" As I grab my cold resistant metal armor and musket. Blow a pal sphere sized hole through the first thug, he's dead on the spot. Draw my make-shift pistol on the second thug, miss him entirely because it's crafted from spare parts and nails the neighbor's Rayhound. I have to resort to my Lamball and the mounted rocket fortification at the top of the stairs. "Tally ho lads" the shrapnel shreds two thugs in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off the neighbors alarm bells. Ready my metal spear and charge at the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the PIDF to arrive since thirty-seven stab wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the developers intended.
January 2024

Palworld

boosted.dll

twitchquotes: Hi Micheal, it's Mark from ScreenColor LLC! We have identified your grey screen problem as being located in two files called "feed.dll" and "boosted.dll", you can safely delete them and it should be good!
twitch chat
December 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I wore a mask at Target today

I wore a mask at Target today. Three of my lungs collapsed as I got carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing in my own bacteria. A brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR. I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said "who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the ones who are here legally I mean." I hugged him and threw my mask on the ground. The Star Spangled Banner played on the speaker system as everyone in the store ripped off their masks and threw them on the ground, chanting "down with communism!" God, Jesus, and all the angels looked down upon us from Heaven and clapped.
June 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

What happened to this ad? :(

I want to be Kripp's knee

twitchquotes: οΌ·ο½ˆο½…ο½Ž οΌ© see Kripp's ο½‹ο½Žο½…ο½…οΌŒ οΌ© ο½—ο½ο½Žο½” to ο½Œο½‰ο½ƒο½‹ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½‹ο½Žο½…ο½…οΌŽ οΌ© ο½—ο½ο½Žο½” to ο½Œο½‰ο½–ο½… ο½‰ο½Ž ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½‹ο½Žο½…ο½…οΌŽ οΌ© ο½—ο½ο½Žο½” to be ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½‹ο½Žο½…ο½…οΌŽ οΌ© ο½—ο½ο½Žο½” to be ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½‹ο½Žο½…ο½… ο½†ο½’ο½…ο½…οΌŽ οΌ°ο½Œο½…ο½ο½“ο½… no copy ο½ο½ο½“ο½”ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½ ο½„ο½ο½Žο½‡ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½ ο½ο½ο½ο½ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½οΌŽ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

乇乂ㄒ尺卂 δΈ‚ε±±ε£δΉšε£

twitchquotes: In japan we don't say 'I love Star Wars' we say 乇乂ㄒ尺卂 δΈ‚ε±±ε£δΉšε£ which doesn't mean anything it just spells out 'I wanna fuck Ben Swolo' in japanese symbols.
twitch chat
January 2018

What's the best way to cash out without creating a huge ruckus?

For example, lets just say that I theoretically put $4000 into crypto, watched it quadruple and now I theoretically had $16k in crypto. Now lets imagine that I theoretically put half of that so $8000 into this funny haha dog coin called Shiba Inu or something in August 2020 and just forgot about it cause it's funny to put a lot of money into stupid jokes. But theoretically lets say that it turned to $8 billion in a bit over a year and now I want to cash out and move it to my bank account. How would I theoretically go on about this safely if I theoretically had this much money in crypto, in theory of course.
November 2021

Cryptocurrency

TL aka Laughingstock

twitchquotes: TL, aka "Total Laughingstock," is a team that plays for Riot Games' Minor League that is often ridiculed for its disappointing international performances. It is specifically known for fielding expensive lineups to be dumpstered by Native Eu Talent.
twitch chat
August 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Roll up thy sleeves and assume position for fisticuffs

twitchquotes: (ΰΈ‡β•­ΰ²°_‒́)ΰΈ‡ Roll up thy sleeves and assume position for fisticuffs, foul Moderinos (ΰΈ‡β•­ΰ²°_‒́)ΰΈ‡
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad
I used to be a real ad

Response to Pokimane's tease that she might leave Twitch

tare you kidding me? i spent so much money on you, tier 3 every month and you’re not even going to be on Twitch anymore? this is unjust! not to mention the countless channel points ive collected to redeem on POKI stickers and maybe even more! ResidentSleeper, L streamer.
February 2022
Pokimane

Spam so I may stay warm

twitchquotes: Hello chat. My home is very cold and I do not know if I will make it through the night. Whenever the chat spams, my old laptop heats up very quickly. It is the only thing keeping me alive. Please chat, spam as much as possible so I may stay warm and survive the frigid night.
twitch chat
June 2019

Lmao you call yourself a XQC fan? I’m fucking loaded on reddit accounts bro

Lmao you call yourself a XQC fan? I’m fucking loaded on reddit accounts bro. I practically control r/place, I’m that fucking powerful. Try talking in chat again when you’re a true fan...
April 2022
xQcOW

Fantastic AoE2 player

twitchquotes: "Streamer's name" is a fantastic player, he only needs to work on his scoutings, build orders, strategy choices, eco management, army compositions, control groupings, unit splits, xbow dances, mangonel attack grounds, monk micros, knights surroundings, galley fights, laming, clicking precision, building placements, not getting housed, map bans and civ choices.
twitch chat
July 2020

Age of Empires II

What happened to this ad? :(

Another extremely unjust loss

twitchquotes: Once again, Kripp, you suffer another extremely unjust loss. I have no idea why you keep losing game after game, even though you possess superb drafting and world-class card game decision making skills. There's clearly something not right and I'm betting that someone at Blizzard may be a little jealous of you.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing