[Copypasta] A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Sad Anime Girl

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣩⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⣙⣉⣉⣉⣉⣙⡛⢋⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣬⡙⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⣡⣶⣿⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙ ⣿⢋⣼⣿⠟⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⠃⣾⣯⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢰⣶⣼⣿⣷⣿⣽⠿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⣿⣷⡀⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⢃⣺⣿⣿⣿⢿⠏⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣷⣄⠄⠈⠉ ⡼⣻⣿⣷⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤ ⣇⣿⡿⣿⠏⣸⣎⣻⣟⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣼⢆⠻⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡿⠋⠈⠉⠄⠉⠻⣽⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⡻⠋⠉⠄⠈⠑⠊⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⣰⠱⠿⠄⠄⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢶⠷⠄⠄⢄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠘⣤⣿⡀⣤⣤⣤⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢠⣤⣤⡄⣸⣀⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣷⣌⣉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⣛⣋⣴⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿ ⢹⣿⢸⣿⣻⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣭⡿⠻⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹ ⠈⣿⡆⠻⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⣭⣍⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⣼ ⣦⠘⣿⣄⠊⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠟
September 2020

Weebs

Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices

twitchquotes: Twitch Chat (“Chat”) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (“nl_Kripp”) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Before I know it, the entire neighbourhood is soaked

twitchquotes: Hi, Reckfull here, from noLife gaming. This is just a friendly reminder that whenever I see BabyRage or something similar, I lose control of my bodily functions and go into a mad, crazed state of unrelenting sexual frenzy! Before I know it, the entire neighborhood is soaked, and worst of all, I have to order a new Mr. Duck™ every time! So please, remember to keep your children at least 100 yards from my property, and try to keep the BabyRage to a minimum, for everyone's sake. Thanks!
twitch chat
November 2014
Reckful

Chat tries to convince Kripp to play Weasel Tunneler

twitchquotes: 🐿 Every minute, a poor weasel dies from starvation due to unemployment. You, yes, YOU nl_Kripp, can make a difference. By playing at least one weasel in every deck, you ensure a living wage for weasels worldwide. Then again, you could just let them starve, the choice is yours 🐿
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing