[Copypasta] A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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monkaShh

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣶⣶⣿⣶⣶⣤⣀⠄⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣿⠡⢟⡿⠿⣛⣛⣛⠿⢿⡆⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣃⣸⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣋⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡄⣩⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣭⣉⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣿⡟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣭⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⣮⡙⠟⢛⣭⣭⣶⣶⣶⣮⣭⣄⠄ ⣴⣸⣿⠑⣛⣿⠟⢩⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡋⠉⣿⣿⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⡋⠛⣿⣧ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣭⣝⡻⠿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣵⠿⢟⡑⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠭⠶⠟⠃ ⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣙⣛⣒⠠⢤⣤⡔⢚⣛⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣋⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣎⡙⢛⣋⣉⣉⣅⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣭⡝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣩⣭⣭⣭⣛⣛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⡇⢸⣿⡿⠿⢛⣃⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢾⣿⣯⣭⣍⣛⣛⣛⡻⠶⠶⣮⣭⢡⣿⣿⢇⣭⣵⣶⠾⠿⠋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢿⣦⣤⣭⣭⣭⣝⣛⡻⠿⠿⠿⠶⠶⢸⣿⣿⢠⣤⣤⣶⠾⠛⠄⠄ ⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⡿⠰⠖⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣭⣕⠒⠲⣭⣭⣝⣛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣭⠄⣿⡟⢣⣴⣾⠟⢂⣤⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣮⣭⣭⣭⣍⣛⣛⣉⣭⣭⣭⣶⢸⣿⣿⣿⣯⣴⠞⣛⣭⣶⣷⠄
November 2021

Pepe

Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex!

twitchquotes: OhMyDog Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex! I just wanted to let you know that some more of my fur fell out today. Maybe it's that "vegan" diet you've been putting me on? Anyways, I love you, and wish you would stop playing that card game all the time and talk to me and Rania sometimes. Sorry, that's a lot to ask, I know you need money to buy us more "kale" or whatever. Anyways, good luck on your "Heart Stone"! OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

I play Mister Yie in League of Heroes

twitchquotes: That's it noobs, come play me in a game of League of Heroes. I main with the hardest warrior - Mister Yie. I will build full wiji first so you know I'll be able to tank no problem. After that, I will build a Infinite Ledge and score so hardcore attack speed. That's right - I will be victorious
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??

I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not. When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids? Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around. She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money. What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says “I kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me. The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife? Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.
August 2021

AITA

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