[Copypasta] A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

When you clean your vacuum cleaner

twitchquotes: When you clean your vacuum cleaner, aren't you the vacuum cleaner? :thinking:
twitch chat
July 2018

GOATS ults ResidentSleeper

twitchquotes: FIRE AT WILL ResidentSleeper NERF THIS! ResidentSleeper EXPERIENCE TRANQUILITY ResidentSleeper HAMMER DOWN ResidentSleeper RALLY TO ME! ResidentSleeper OH LETS BREAK IT DOWN
twitch chat
March 2019

Overwatch

Only the chosen one can wield this sword...

twitchquotes: 𝕠|𝕠𝕠𝕠|=========> 𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕐 𝕋ℍ𝔼 β„‚β„π•†π•Šπ”Όβ„• 𝕆ℕ𝔼 ℂ𝔸ℕ π•Žπ•€π”Όπ•ƒπ”» π•‹β„π•€π•Š π•Šπ•Žπ•†β„π”» 𝔸ℕ𝔻 ℕ𝕆𝕋 𝔹𝔼 π•Šπ•ƒπ”Έπ•€β„• 𝔽𝕆ℝ πŸ™πŸ˜π•„π•€β„• 𝔹𝕐 𝕀𝕋'π•Š β„™π•†π•Žπ”Όβ„. 𝔸ℝ𝔼 π•π•†π•Œ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 β„‚β„π•†π•Šπ”Όβ„• 𝕆ℕ𝔼? ℂ𝕆ℙ𝕐 π•‹β„π•€π•Š β„™π”Έπ•Šπ•‹π”Έ 𝔸ℕ𝔻 𝔽𝕀ℕ𝔻 π•†π•Œπ•‹!
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

The tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked? I thought not. It’s not a story the CEO would tell you. It’s a sky legend. United Airlines was an Airline of the sky, so powerful and so overbooked he could use Force to influence the passengers to give up their seats… He had such a knowledge of the police that he could even keep the employees he cared about from not having a seat. The police's use of Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his seat, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice KO'd him and took his seat. Ironic. He could save others from losing their seats, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Valorant censorship

At least you have the fucking balls to say it. Like in Valorant in the voice chat if you call someone a retard for being trash at the game and not using a mic, and he's a Russian player, you're "banned". Nevermind that the race of the player exists independently from how trash he is at the game. Obviously not all Russians have no mic, (correlation/causation), but this "all players are equal" political correctness bullshit is making it impossible for Valorant players to solve a problem they cannot discuss.
August 2021

Valorant

Text-to-Speech Playing