[Copypasta] His name is NINJA, a super small time streamer

twitchquotes: can I promote my friends Mixer stream in here? His name is NINJA and he is a super small time streamer, he just left twitch and could really use all the help he can get. I just want to like his stream a couple times bro, nothing serious bro I just don't want him to go hungry bro. He's going back to his roots and I really want to help him out bro
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

How to win any Internet argument

May 2021

OH MY GOD IS THAT A RAINBOW LOGO?

‼️‼️OH MY GOD‼️‼️ IS THAT A πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆRπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆAπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆIπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆNπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆBπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆOπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆWπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ LOGO?!?!?!?!? 😍😍😍😍 OMG 🀯🀯UR SO INCLUSIVE😱😱😱😱 πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆLGBT πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈTRANS πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈRIGHTS YAAAAS!!!!!!!!!πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ UR SO PROGRESSIVE πŸ’πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ’πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈπŸ’πŸ½β€β™‚οΈπŸ’πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈπŸ’πŸΏβ€β™‚οΈ I WILL NOW BUY EVERYTHING YOU HAVE! πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯Ί I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOW 😫😩😩😍😍πŸ₯°πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Kripp's IQ is officially more than 1000

twitchquotes: nice win man you totally outplayed him on every level, every single play you did showed a whole new level of skill and meta beyond our mortal brains understandings, i have no idea how its even humanly possible to be so amazing at this card game as you are Kripp, your IQ is officially more than 1000
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

I want to sleep with you. No, i dont mean have sex

twitchquotes: I want to sleep with you. No, i dont mean have sex. I mean sleep. Together. Under a blanket. In your bed. While your laying on my arm with my other hand on your tummy. With the window cracked, so its chilly and we have to cuddle closer. No talking, just the muffled cries.
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

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