[Copypasta] You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA

twitchquotes: This is Comcast. You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA and will pay overage fees of $20 per haHAA for the rest of this billing cycle.
twitch chat
July 2017
I used to be a real ad
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CLG is fantastic

twitchquotes: CLG is fantastic, just needs to work on communication, map awareness, laning, vision control, csing, poking, landing skillshots, objective control, early game, mid game, late game, ganking, and getting kills.
twitch chat
February 2020
LCS

League of Legends

I'm going to kill that prosterino

twitchquotes: The Prostitute asks the Kripp, "Why don't you make a D3 video?" Kripp flies into a rage and hits her with an ornate salt shaker yelling, "I'm going to kill that prosterino!" When the cops finally caught him, after the 2 hour shootout, Kripp lies bleeding on the ground and mutters weakly to the sky..."I played that perfectly, nothing I coulda done cough what a joke.."
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Kripp's lettuce points

twitchquotes: The year is 2035. Kripp's lettuce points have quickly developed into one of the most valuable crypto currencies in the world. Elsewhere, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, watching Kripp's stream, desperately trying to gamble for some lettuce points. He types "!bet 2 all" in chat, and anxiously awaits the results. Upon seeing Kripp go 0-3, Tanner puts a gun to his head and lets out one final "never lucky" before pulling the trigger.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

Spiderman Logo

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–Œโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–„โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€ โ–โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œ โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
September 2021

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? Iโ€™m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

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