[Copypasta] You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA

twitchquotes: This is Comcast. You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA and will pay overage fees of $20 per haHAA for the rest of this billing cycle.
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July 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
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June 2016
Kripp

DO A MEME ALREADY

twitchquotes: DO A MEME ALREADY FeelsRageMan WE PAY YOU TO MEME FeelsRageMan SAY YOUR PHRASE FeelsRageMan
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February 2017
imaqtpie

Bring on the PLEBOLUTION

twitchquotes: Dear subs, I may be a pleb but I am a human being. Please stop taking out your BDSM fantasies of caging us to satisfy your sexual frustration. Bring on the PLEBOLUTION ᕙ(ب_ب)ᕗ
twitch chat
August 2015
Trump

plebs vs subs

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

FeelsBirthdayMan

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⣿⣦⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣟⣻⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡟⠛⣿⣤⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣤⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⡶⠛⠛⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣣⣤⣤⣼⣶⣤⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣛⣭⣭⣭⣝⣋⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣟⠽⣒⣒⣒⣺⠝⢛⠭⣍⣛⣻⡯⠤⠄ ⠄⣰⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⠿⢖⣛⡭⢝⠛⠻⣯⢙⣭⣭⠋⠄⡀⢺⡭ ⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣗⣒⣤⣴⣬⣔⣢⣾⣶⣭⣤⣥⣶⠖⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣥⣄⡀⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣷⣮⣝⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣇⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣛⠿⣭⣽⣛⠳⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢗⣚⣛⠛⠄ ⠘⡻⢿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣻⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣭⣭⣭⣿⣿⣛⡛⠛⠋⠄⠄ ⣼⣶⣯⣴⣚⠭⠭⣽⣿⣟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣻⢏⡉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
April 2020
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