[Copypasta] You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA

twitchquotes: This is Comcast. You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA and will pay overage fees of $20 per haHAA for the rest of this billing cycle.
twitch chat
July 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

level 2 power spikes not level 2 power drops

twitchquotes: Hello. This is the admin of SKILL-CAPPED.COMβ„’. We hired you to show viewers level 2 power spikes not level 2 power drops. Please start fulfilling your contract or we take your house.
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Darshan the mashtomp

twitchquotes: HELLO cutie it's Darshan the mashtomp and i want to get back into DIG. Even though I don't eat meat i will gladly suck yours for us to DUO REUNITE. I will even get scarra "gragas" wukong to join. Love, Darshan marshan of the il larshan kaperino no fettuchini pastrino
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Middle finger

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘ ░░░▄▀▀▀▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐░░ ░░▐▒▄▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▄▐░░ β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–€β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–„β–’β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–€β–β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘ ░░░░▐▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐▒▒▀▒▐░░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▐░░░░ β–‘β–‘β–„β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ ▀▒▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐░░▄▄░░░ ░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐░░▐░░▐░░ ░░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▄▄▄▄▀░▄▄▐░░▐▄▄ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β– ░░░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐▐ ░░░░▐░░░░░░░░▐
ascii art
June 2017

I want to date Pokimane so bad

twitchquotes: I want to date Pokimane so bad. She is so cute and I love her so much. She has a cute smile and a cute face. She’s a gamer like me and has a amazing personality. I would love to tell her every night β€œI love you” and rub her feet while she is streaming. We would go out when she isn’t doing gamer stuff and have fun together. She is also really good at gaming so I would be able to get carried by my very own GF. I love girls who are better at things than me so I can learn from them. God I want to date Pokimane
twitch chat
April 2020
Pokimane
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