[Copypasta] HYDRA SUMMONING SPELL

twitchquotes: THIS IS THE SUMMONING SPELL HandsUp FOR THE HYDRA DEEK OF HELL HandsUp ONE WEEB MUST BE SACRIFICED HandsUp FOR THE HYDRA DEEK TO RISE HandsUp OH MIGHTY HYDRA I SING YOUR SONG HandsUp MAY YOU GROW BIG AND LONG HandsUp
twitch chat
April 2021
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Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? Iā€™ve never heard that joke before, but itā€™s so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. Thereā€™s a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just canā€™t get over this joke. Iā€™m giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kidā€™s Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, ā€œI hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.ā€ I will tell my children, and my childrenā€™s children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. Iā€™m fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. Iā€™m gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. Itā€™s gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, ā€œI identify as an attack helicopter.ā€ Itā€™ll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just canā€™t believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think Iā€™m going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I canā€™t believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think Iā€™m going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but thatā€™s okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I wonā€™t forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
June 2021

Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Why is my BLACK friend so racist?

So I was playing chess with my BLACK friend the other day and something rather curious happened. As we were about to start playing he asked, ā€œCould I play as white this time?ā€ Why is my BLACK friend being so racist????? Clearly your color doesnā€™t matter and as privileged white man myself I could not bear listening to these words!!!!!! Black? White? Itā€™s all the same guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 2021

Chess

If Mr. Beast was in charge of Squid Game.

Today I took 456 of the most poor and destitute people of Korea ( who are also of my subscribers ) and challenged them to a series of 6 EPIC kids games and the prize is 45.6 billion won. What they don't know is if they lose they die. If you end up liking the video please smash like. But first I have to talk about this episodes sponsor Honey. Honey is a free browser add on available on Google, Opera, Firefox, Safari, if itā€™s a browser it has Honey. Honey automatically saves you money when you checkout on sites Like Amazon. Papa John's. Kohl's. Wherever you shop it's a good chance that honey can save you money. All you have to do when you're checking out at these major sites click that little orange button and it will scan the entire internet And find discount codes for you. It takes two clicks to install Honey. Now anytime you checkout honey will scan the entire internet and find coupon codes for you. If there is a coupon code they will find it, and if thereā€™s not a coupon code you can rest assured that you are getting the best price possible and there literally is not one available on the internet. If you install Honey right now you can save like 50 to 100 dollars on your Christmas shopping, doing nothing. Thereā€™s literally no reason not to install Honey, it takes two clicks, 10 million people use it, 100,000 5 star reviews, unless you hate money you should install Honey. If you want to install it just go to joinhoney.com/mrbeast, thatā€™s joinhoney.com/mrbeast Now with that out of the way, ON WITH THE VIDEO Ok so we just brought them in and put them in their beds and this is insane. We literally have more than 450 here and we're going to see than play some games, for a bunch of money. Remember that every single person here is also a subscriber, on top of being financially destitute. So if you want a chance to receive tons and tons of money, make sure you hit the subscribe button down below as you can get a chance to play for money. Ok boys, its time to wake them up. I want Chris, Karl, Chandler, Nolan and Tareq to go down there and tell them the rules of the game. Here take these pink jumpsuits masks and these guns and go explain the situation to the subscribers. Ok so while the boys are going down I'm going to show you guys the first game our contestants are going to be playing.
October 2021

Squid Game

Nothing is complex for me

twitchquotes: Nothing is complex for me. I figured out flat earth when everyone on the planet was either bought into the lie or supporting it. I am a borderline genius as tested at 10 years old I am sure the number would be much higher now since I have increased my intelligence over the years. I am right you are wrong, it really is as simple as that. The DEVIL is in the details.
twitch chat
July 2017
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