day in the life of a cs pro:
1. wake up 6am
2. finish tournament at midnight
3. brush teeth and eat breakfast
4. Sleep
while 1==1:
loop()
RIP Joe the Spider
I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”.
I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”.
I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
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No one else plays healer, only me
twitchquotes:i am a mercy player, and you should be THANKFUL i managed to bless your game. no one else plays healer, only me, and you DARE complain about the way I play? this entire community is TOXIC and ruins the competitive experience for us mercy players
i am a mercy player, and you should be THANKFUL i managed to bless your game. no one else plays healer, only me, and you DARE complain about the way I play? this entire community is TOXIC and ruins the competitive experience for us mercy players
WHEN DOES NA PLAY?
twitchquotes:WHEN DOES NA PLAY OH NO NO NO WHEN DOES NA PLAY OH NO NO NO WHEN DOES NA PLAY OH NO NO NO WHEN DOES NA PLAY OH NO NO NO
WHEN DOES NA PLAY PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO PepeLaugh WHEN DOES NA PLAY PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO PepeLaugh WHEN DOES NA PLAY PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO PepeLaugh WHEN DOES NA PLAY PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO
I sexually identify as Ninja Fortnite Gaming
I sexually identify as Ninja Fortnite Gaming. Ever since I was young, I've dreamed of understanding "the pain of being famous", and producing shitty keyboards. People say to me that he was only popular in 2017, but I disagree. He will always have a special place in my heart. From a young age, I knew I was different. Dying my hair blue, being overly cocky, and stealing others' identities were just a few of my favorite childhood pastimes. I'm just not like other guys. From now on, I want you guys to call me Ninja Fortnite Gaming (Tyler Blevins is not acceptable). My pronouns are fort/nite. If you don't use or respect them you're a gamephobe griefer and need to try out his new skin and Gfuel flavor Chug Jug to become more culturally sensitive. Use code NINJAYT for 30% off your order today. Thank you for being understanding.
I sexually identify as Ninja Fortnite Gaming. Ever since I was young, I've dreamed of understanding "the pain of being famous", and producing shitty keyboards. People say to me that he was only popular in 2017, but I disagree. He will always have a special place in my heart. From a young age, I knew I was different. Dying my hair blue, being overly cocky, and stealing others' identities were just a few of my favorite childhood pastimes. I'm just not like other guys. From now on, I want you guys to call me Ninja Fortnite Gaming (Tyler Blevins is not acceptable). My pronouns are fort/nite. If you don't use or respect them you're a gamephobe griefer and need to try out his new skin and Gfuel flavor Chug Jug to become more culturally sensitive. Use code NINJAYT for 30% off your order today. Thank you for being understanding.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
You have been presented with superior intellect
twitchquotes:———————————————————————— You have been presented with superior intellect. Type to activate————————————————————————
(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง This is our town SCRUB (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง Yeah beat it! (ง •̀_•́)ง
More than 6 characters
twitchquotes:Hi so im new to overwatch and I have a suggestion. This game looks pretty fun, but I think it would be better if there was more than 6 characters. Do you agree?
Hi so im new to overwatch and I have a suggestion. This game looks pretty fun, but I think it would be better if there was more than 6 characters. Do you agree?
YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™
twitchquotes:If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLY™ makes my writing better. As a student I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLY™ around my freshman year because I was just... H O R R I B L E... at typing! Grammarly™ is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLY™ for important emails, social media posts (which there are a L O T of.) I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarly™ is by far the BEST for improving your writing. GRAMMARLY™ is making me a better writer. AND it's free... I would recommend GRAMMARLY™ if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.
If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLY™ makes my writing better. As a student I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLY™ around my freshman year because I was just... H O R R I B L E... at typing! Grammarly™ is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLY™ for important emails, social media posts (which there are a L O T of.) I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarly™ is by far the BEST for improving your writing. GRAMMARLY™ is making me a better writer. AND it's free... I would recommend GRAMMARLY™ if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.
I awoke from my coma and muted the stream
twitchquotes:I owe my life to [insert streamer]. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse walked in and changed the Twitch channel to [insert streamer]'s stream. I awoke from my coma and muted [insert streamer].
I owe my life to [insert streamer]. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse walked in and changed the Twitch channel to [insert streamer]'s stream. I awoke from my coma and muted [insert streamer].
I used to be a real ad
Look what Casualstone has done to you Kripp
twitchquotes:@nl_Kripp I just rewatched your Diablo Intro video and shed a tear. At that time you were full of joy, passion and energy. Now look at yourself after all this years. Look what Casualstone has done to you. You are dying from boredom Kripp, you are yawning so hard as if you didn't sleep for ages, and tons of salt make your existance even more pathetic. Don't you realise it's time to make a step towards changes?
@nl_Kripp I just rewatched your Diablo Intro video and shed a tear. At that time you were full of joy, passion and energy. Now look at yourself after all this years. Look what Casualstone has done to you. You are dying from boredom Kripp, you are yawning so hard as if you didn't sleep for ages, and tons of salt make your existance even more pathetic. Don't you realise it's time to make a step towards changes?
Forsen banned
twitchquotes:Twitch streamer Forsen was banned on May 8th for a misleading stream title "ranking up" when playing Valorant. Twitch strictly forbids false advertisement from streamers on its platform. It's unclear when Forsen will be unbanned but no one watches a washed up streamer anyways.
Twitch streamer Forsen was banned on May 8th for a misleading stream title "ranking up" when playing Valorant. Twitch strictly forbids false advertisement from streamers on its platform. It's unclear when Forsen will be unbanned but no one watches a washed up streamer anyways.
Florida Mayhem McDonald's
twitchquotes:Guys, the color scheme of McDonald's consists of red, yellow, and white. It does not include blac k like Florida Mayhem. Stop spamming about how they are McDonald's already. It's untrue and unfunny.
Guys, the color scheme of McDonald's consists of red, yellow, and white. It does not include blac k like Florida Mayhem. Stop spamming about how they are McDonald's already. It's untrue and unfunny.
OH MY GOD IS THAT A RAINBOW LOGO?
‼️‼️OH MY GOD‼️‼️ IS THAT A 🏳️🌈R🏳️🌈A🏳️🌈I🏳️🌈N🏳️🌈B🏳️🌈O🏳️🌈W🏳️🌈 LOGO?!?!?!?!? 😍😍😍😍 OMG 🤯🤯UR SO INCLUSIVE😱😱😱😱 🏳️🌈LGBT 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️TRANS 🏳️⚧️RIGHTS YAAAAS!!!!!!!!!🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 UR SO PROGRESSIVE 💁🏻♂️💁🏼♂️💁🏽♂️💁🏾♂️💁🏿♂️ I WILL NOW BUY EVERYTHING YOU HAVE! 👏👏👏🥺🥺🥺 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOW 😫😩😩😍😍🥰🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
‼️‼️OH MY GOD‼️‼️ IS THAT A 🏳️🌈R🏳️🌈A🏳️🌈I🏳️🌈N🏳️🌈B🏳️🌈O🏳️🌈W🏳️🌈 LOGO?!?!?!?!? 😍😍😍😍 OMG 🤯🤯UR SO INCLUSIVE😱😱😱😱 🏳️🌈LGBT 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️TRANS 🏳️⚧️RIGHTS YAAAAS!!!!!!!!!🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 UR SO PROGRESSIVE 💁🏻♂️💁🏼♂️💁🏽♂️💁🏾♂️💁🏿♂️ I WILL NOW BUY EVERYTHING YOU HAVE! 👏👏👏🥺🥺🥺 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOW 😫😩😩😍😍🥰🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
Hearthstone vs MTG Online
twitchquotes:Tbh, this game is too boring for anyone to understand. Hearthstone is already boring enough to the extant that pretty much no one can sit through it unless youre at a professional level. This is just to unfathomably boring. I know this is an indie game, but seriously if anyone think that this garbage can compete with an older game like HS, youre mistaken.
Tbh, this game is too boring for anyone to understand. Hearthstone is already boring enough to the extant that pretty much no one can sit through it unless youre at a professional level. This is just to unfathomably boring. I know this is an indie game, but seriously if anyone think that this garbage can compete with an older game like HS, youre mistaken.
I used to be a real ad
NFT Navy Seal Copypasta
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little pirate? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at Full Sail University, and I've been involved in numerous secret Photoshop files, and I have over 300 confirmed NFTs. I am trained in gorilla artwork and I'm the top artist in the entire US armed artists. You are nothing to me but just another pirate. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of discord servers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can turn you into an NFT in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed brushstrokes, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States NFT Corps and I will use it to its full extent to stomp your miserable ass directly into the blockchain, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit paint all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little pirate? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at Full Sail University, and I've been involved in numerous secret Photoshop files, and I have over 300 confirmed NFTs. I am trained in gorilla artwork and I'm the top artist in the entire US armed artists. You are nothing to me but just another pirate. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of discord servers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can turn you into an NFT in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed brushstrokes, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States NFT Corps and I will use it to its full extent to stomp your miserable ass directly into the blockchain, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit paint all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
What is so funny about copypasta?
What is so funny about copypasta? Someone put a lot of time in writing out a wall of text, and all you do is just copy and paste it? Unbelievable. Freaking unbelievable. It is so fucking disrespectful for the original writter to have his thoughts repeated over and over just for some kind of sick joke. You fools know the navy seal copypasta, right? People chuckle at it because he was "very mad". Well, think about it, motherfucker. What if he WAS very mad? What if he actually had feelings and his day was ruined? Ever think about it like that? No, of course not. You tools just took his words over and over and used it for shits and giggles. How fucking rude. At this point, my 3 page essay on why I think cancel culture is cancer could be used as a copypasta. That is just fucking wrong on so many levels. I'm not going to write out a copypasta myself, because I don't want my words to be shat out over and over again. I'm just expressing my thoughts and feelings on the abuse of copypasta. It just needs to fucking stop
What is so funny about copypasta? Someone put a lot of time in writing out a wall of text, and all you do is just copy and paste it? Unbelievable. Freaking unbelievable. It is so fucking disrespectful for the original writter to have his thoughts repeated over and over just for some kind of sick joke. You fools know the navy seal copypasta, right? People chuckle at it because he was "very mad". Well, think about it, motherfucker. What if he WAS very mad? What if he actually had feelings and his day was ruined? Ever think about it like that? No, of course not. You tools just took his words over and over and used it for shits and giggles. How fucking rude. At this point, my 3 page essay on why I think cancel culture is cancer could be used as a copypasta. That is just fucking wrong on so many levels. I'm not going to write out a copypasta myself, because I don't want my words to be shat out over and over again. I'm just expressing my thoughts and feelings on the abuse of copypasta. It just needs to fucking stop
I love Carl from Brawl Stars
Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
Our Salt, who art in hearthstone
twitchquotes: Our Salt, who art in hearthstone, hallowed be thy game, your kripparian comes, your aggro decks be done, on constructed as it is in arena. Give us today our daily meme deck. And forgive us our rng bullshit, as we also have forgiven others rng bullshit. And lead us not into Smorc, but deliver us from the evil aggro decks. Amen
BlessRNG Our Salt, who art in hearthstone, hallowed be thy game, your kripparian comes, your aggro decks be done, on constructed as it is in arena. BlessRNG Give us today our daily meme deck. BlessRNG And forgive us our rng bullshit, as we also have forgiven others rng bullshit. BlessRNG And lead us not into Smorc, but deliver us from the evil aggro decks. Amen BlessRNG
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what is the point of spamming in chat?
twitchquotes:what is the point of spamming in chat?? all you do is send some pixels to some other guy in his 30's who is pretending to be an idiot... wow what an accomplishment
what is the point of spamming in chat?? all you do is send some pixels to some other guy in his 30's who is pretending to be an idiot... wow what an accomplishment