[Copypasta] I just thought you looked cute in your picture

twitchquotes: hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx
twitch chat
April 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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I'VE GOT THE STREAM IN MY SIGHTS

twitchquotes: ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ·︻̷┻̿═━一I'VE GOT THE STREAM IN MY SIGHTS
twitch chat
January 2015
strifecro

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

Cloud 9 / C9 logo

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠋⠉⠹⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣄⡀⣰⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⡙⢿⡿⣱⣿⣿⠋⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⢣⣾⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣄⠄⢀⣴⣮⣝⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣛⠄⠄⠄⣽⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⡿⠛⠿⢸⡇⢀⡾⠛⣿⣾⣿⠀⣿⢸⡏⠻⣦⢰⡟⢻⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⠶⠟⠸⠷⠆⠻⠶⠿⠛⠿⠶⠿⠸⠷⠾⠏⠘⢷⣾⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠾⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
July 2021

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

I'm epic gamer style

twitchquotes: Yeah I’m not surprised your girl wants to leave you for me. Not my fault I’m fucking epic gamer style. Why wouldn’t she wanna be with me lol I have a 3.2 kd in Fortnite, backseat game in Twitch chats, and I reddit hard as fuck. Sorry for being too dope
twitch chat
May 2019
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