twitchquotes:
How come when batman dons a suit of armor and beats up mentally ill clowns its "Heroic" but when I do it I'm "Committing manslaughter" and I'm "Not allowed in McDonalds again"
twitch chat
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
COVID
Coronavirus
Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux
Now, letβs say π£ hypothetically, you π, my mother πͺ. Were to give π me, your 
son πββοΈ, your credit πΈ card π³ information ππΌ. So I π₯ could make π a purchase π² of 500 π― robux π on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister π±ββοΈ will have you π believe π
π», I π₯ have done β
a very βΌ good π job πββοΈπ€΅ of doing my chores π§Ό, including π², but π not limited π to; The dishes π³π½ππΌ, the laundry and the taking π out the trash βΉοΈββοΈπΆπ.
son πββοΈ, your credit πΈ card π³ information ππΌ. So I π₯ could make π a purchase π² of 500 π― robux π on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister π±ββοΈ will have you π believe π
π», I π₯ have done β
a very βΌ good π job πββοΈπ€΅ of doing my chores π§Ό, including π², but π not limited π to; The dishes π³π½ππΌ, the laundry and the taking π out the trash βΉοΈββοΈπΆπ.
Ben Shapiro
George Orwell ruined my life
Iβm a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was βsexually harassingβ her. Itβs clear she just wasnβt intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. Iβve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how Iβm clearly in the right everyone seems to think Iβm some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......
Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx
twitchquotes:
We are gathered here today in memorium of the Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx. In life, he demanded healing and better teammates who were not bitch idiot noob feeders. In death, he is an icon of Genji players everywhere. His legacy of epic zero-kill dragonblades and Blizzcon-worthy shuriken throwing skills have inspired a generation of one-trick DPS players in Masters and below. Perhaps what he needed was not heal bitch, or shield bitch, but a feel bitch.
twitch chat
MOONMOON
Overwatch
you will never be on my intellectual level
twitchquotes:
listen until you guys have read fichte, kant, schelling, hegel, goethe, novalis and hamann in the original german, you will never be on my intellectual level, you are plebs who are addicted to reddit and think rick and morty is a deep show, your children will be dysgenic losers and mine will be serious winners and well-educated, they'll probably smack the glasses off your children for fun and then go read homer in the original greek.
twitch chat