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Hey Tyler, I heard you’re having problems with fatigue

twitchquotes: Hey Tyler, I heard you’re having problems with fatigue on your stream 2 days ago. This could be due to micronutrient deficiencies. Make sure you’re getting enough Zinc, Magnesium and Vitamin D. You can go to *** to check if you’re lacking nutrition. Also watch the sugar since it causes insulin spikes and subsequent drops which could cause your fatigue. (not shilling that website btw I just want you to reach your full potential) <3 <3 <3
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

THERE'S TOO MUCH SALT

twitchquotes: (╬ ಠ益ಠ) IM GETTING ANGRY THERES TOO MUCH SALT (╬ ಠ益ಠ)
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad
What happened to this ad? :(

Enjoy your ban and never come here again

twitchquotes: hey guys when i ban ur ass for posting fucking stupid ass spam dont fucking come to me crying "wahh hwahh i got banned i wasnt doing anything i just asked what build he was going" no u didnt ask that shit u fucking posted huge ass copypasta enjoy ur fucking ban and never come here again
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

New brofisting trend

twitchquotes: ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ノ Kripp, it's me Papparrian. Your mother and I are very disappointed in this new 'brofisting' trend you've picked up on. We can only suspect it's due to you being around the succubus for too long. Please come home we miss you. No copypasterino cappuccino pizzarino pepperoni papa johns.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

The true glory of Moonmoon's improvised story-telling

twitchquotes: Wow. Just wow. After witnessing the true glory of improvised story-telling as presented by MOONMOON_OW, my life has changed to such a degree that I am no longer able to sleep soundly, knowing that there are people out there who are still trying to do just as good. It is no surprise; the god gamer, also a god roleplayer, is truly astounding with his ability. - Barrack Obama
twitch chat
May 2019
MOONMOON
What happened to this ad? :(

cant understand how you have a popular stream

twitchquotes: cant understand how you have a popular stream. you keep saying “i dont even know what im doing” and it shows. you’re strats... wait do you have any? doesn’t seem like it. you just seem consistantly terrible. dunno why people watch you. you’re not entertaining or educating or anything... just another garbage ARAM player... lost a potential watcher for... literally anyone else
twitch chat
September 2019

Cyberpunk character creator is broken

This game is so buggy that even the character creator is broken I heard that the game had some bugs but I wasn’t expecting them to hurt my experience so quickly. I was making my character and I got to the genitals option and gave my character a penis. I scrolled through the size option and noticed a game breaking bug. The labels are wrong for the penises. I gave my character what was labeled as “small penis” and was surprised to find that it was way bigger than my real penis. This is a serious game breaking bug and CD Project Red needs to make fixing this issue it’s number one priority.
December 2020

OJ Overdose

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ OJ ᴏᴠᴇʀᴅᴏsᴇ ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen. When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place. There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise. And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work. Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable. And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts. And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.
September 2021

Investing in gourd futures

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad

Permanently trapped in Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: People say Hitler is finally gone right? Well guess what, he isn't. Kappa revived him and permanently trapped him in Twitch Chat as punishment. He roams in the Twitch Chat rooms as imaqtpie mods.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014

Why are you rank 9?

twitchquotes: ┌| ◔ ▃ ◔ |┐ UH KRIPP..... why are you rank 9? ┌| ◔ ▃ ◔ |┐
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

Stimulus talks going well in 2946

The year is 2946, Robot Mitch McConnel and Cyborg Nancy Pelosi report stimulus talks going well. The Dow rewards them and hits 6.02 x 1023.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Twitch in 2025

twitchquotes: Twitch in 2025: Streamers may only stream a plain, black screen in 240p to account for people who can't afford screens bigger than that resolution, the stream must be all black incase there are blind viewers, and no sound may be played incase of deaf viewers.
twitch chat
December 2020

Ninja Assassins is not fun or interactive

twitchquotes: Ninja Assassins created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your opponent in one crit without requiring any battles on the board. Fighting for board control and battles between minions make an overall game of Teamfight Tactics more fun and compelling, but taking 20000+ damage in one Zed crit is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
July 2019

Teamfight Tactics

HELLO

twitchquotes: ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ HELLO HELLO HELLO ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ
twitch chat
December 2014
strifecro

Dear Chat, in 1967 there was a little girl named Morgana

twitchquotes: Dear Chat, in 1967 there was a little girl named Morgana who wanted to become an ADC, She commited suicide after QT would not play, Now that you have seen this you must copy and paste 10 times or you too will commit suicide.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

I still know how to paste it

twitchquotes: ໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७ I may be old but i still know how to paste it
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing