[Copypasta] Please stop spamming random copy pastas like some machine

Please stop spamming random copy pastas like some machine, it's ruining my Twitch chat experience. Don't conform to standard like everyone else, think for yourselves!
July 2021
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Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 5, Finale 2)

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
March 2021

Emoji move emoji review

twitchquotes: A πŸ‘Œ whole πŸ’¦ town πŸͺ of πŸ’¦ beings, πŸ‘€ confined to πŸ’¦ feeling 😜 one 😀 emotion their πŸ† entire πŸ‘ life. πŸ‘€ That 😐 could πŸ”’ honestly πŸ‘ be 🐝 the πŸ‘ focus of πŸ’¦ an πŸ‘Ή entire πŸ‘ movie, πŸŽ₯ but πŸ‘ in πŸ‘ the πŸ‘ emoji πŸ˜‚ movie πŸŽ₯ that's 😦 just πŸ‘ the πŸ‘ world 🌎 they πŸ‘₯ live πŸ™… in, πŸ‘ and πŸ‘ yet πŸ˜‡ these πŸ‘ˆ beings πŸ‘€ don't 🚫 question 😩 it πŸ’― and πŸ‘ carry πŸ”› on πŸ”› their πŸ† lives πŸ“΄ as πŸ‘ normal... 😐 the πŸ‘ emoji πŸ˜‚ movie πŸŽ₯ takes πŸ˜‰ a πŸ‘Œ far 🌌 more πŸ— subtle πŸ™ˆ approach 😜 meaning critics probably 😻 didn't 🚫 notice the πŸ‘ strong πŸ’ͺ existential themes present πŸ’² in πŸ‘ the πŸ‘ film upon πŸ‘¦ first πŸ‘† viewing.
twitch chat
July 2017

Emoji Pasta

My 13 year old son wants 5 dollars so he can "subscribe"

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, mom here, my 13 year old son wants 5 dollars so he can "subscribe". I dont know what that is, but a quick Google search shows Kripp subscribers are linked with NaCL overdose disorder. Can you explain this? - Sincerely, a concerned parent
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

salty

Bring us Forsen here and now

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌ ΒΊΩ„ΝŸΒΊ ΰΌ½ Magic forces black and white. Reaching out through space and light. A perfect man I summon now. Another way I don't know how. Bring him now into the light. Be he far or be he near. Bring us the Forsen here and now. ΰΌΌ ΒΊΩ„ΝŸΒΊ ΰΌ½
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing