[Copypasta] Apology letter from the condom factory

twitchquotes: What in the actual rainbows is wrong with your brain? Did you IQ test return with negative results or something? I’m getting closer and closer to believing that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Jesus Christ. Love the content keep it up.
twitch chat
December 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Salty tofu

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

Elundus Core

twitchquotes: The Elundus Core was a 6.2-kilogram (14 lb) subcritical mass of a previously undiscovered isotope of plutonium measuring 89 millimeters and was previously held in Felix "xQc" Lengyel's basement. It now lives in the depths of yellowstone waiting to explode
twitch chat
May 2019
xQcOW

Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup. I don't appreciate the excessive amount of brofisting you've been doing to my son's rectum. When he sleeps at night all he can dream about is you welcoming him to the "5 dolla club" as you tear his anus apart and cause it to profusely bleed with your fist and it's all your fault that he's so butthurt!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Only the fattest NA fan can hold his taco

twitchquotes: TBTacoLeft TBCheesePull TBTacoRight only the fattest NA fan can hold his taco ⎝ OpieOP ⎠
twitch chat
May 2016

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing