[Copypasta] Apology letter from the condom factory

twitchquotes: What in the actual rainbows is wrong with your brain? Did you IQ test return with negative results or something? Iโ€™m getting closer and closer to believing that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Jesus Christ. Love the content keep it up.
twitch chat
December 2020
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My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

Classic

AITA for saving a child from a dangerous situation?

I know this sounds bad, but hear me out. Earlier this month, I was walking home from the store as usual. I began smelling a feint burning smell and I heard muffled shouting ahead. I picked up the pace to discover the commotion. A building was on fire and a small child was standing by the second story window shrieking for help as flames rose behind him. Luckily, I had been doing parkour ever since I was a teen so I climbed up to his window and reached out to grab the child. He reached out for me as well and I hoisted him down on my back. When we reached the ground the child ran to his parents and they thanked me while hugging him. Later today I was visiting a friend in prison who happens to be serving a sentence for attempted murder of many children. He said I was an asshole and I shouldnโ€™t have saved the kid from the burning building. Ever since, I canโ€™t help but feel like kind of an asshole so I would appreciate to hear a third persons perspective on this. So reddit, AITA?
January 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Joker

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Die spider!

twitchquotes: เผผ เฒ ู„อŸเฒ เผฝ๏ธปใƒ‡=ไธ€ DIE SPIDER /เธเน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡โ•ฒ/\โ•ญ(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ)โ•ฎ/\โ•ฑเธเน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡\
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

1/1 Webspinner

twitchquotes: Hi Reynad, I just wanted to thank you for not ruining my life. I was lucky enough to go on a date with a girl last night and she ended up wanting to ride my 1/1 webspinner. She wasn't on birth control but luckily I was able to use code TEMPOSTORM to get 100% off teenage parenthood EleGiggle
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

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