twitchquotes:
ok guys this is my first attempt at making a copypasta so wish me luck
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I used to be a real ad
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The Battle of Gamestop rages on.
The Battle of Gamestop rages on.
Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen.
When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week.
As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds.
This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
WallStreetBets
Only the chosen one can stack these cans!
twitchquotes:
Only the chosen one can stack these cans! 
but wait can you do three cans! !!
Only the chosen one can stack these cans! but wait can you do three cans! !!
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Classic
Spider
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⡙⢿⣿⣦⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡉⠛⠓⠢⡈⢿⡿⠁⣸⣿⡿⠿⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣍⣙⡋⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠘⠁⠄⠴⠚⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡴⠖⠒⠄⠁⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⣩⣴⣶⣿⣿⣶⡞⠉⣠⣇⠄⣿⣶⣦⣄⡀⠲⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Slap Chop commercial script
Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades.
Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.
You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now.
Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.
You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
Mythological Topdecking Skills
twitchquotes:
Eᴜʀᴇᴋᴀ, Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ! I ᴀᴍ Pᴇʀɪᴋʟᴇs Tᴇsᴛɪᴋʟᴇs, Rᴀɴɪᴀ's ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ. Wᴇ ᴀʀᴇ so ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ sʜᴇ ʜᴀs ғɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ғoᴜɴᴅ ᴀ ʙᴇᴀʀᴅᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ wɪᴛʜ ᴍʏᴛʜoʟoɢɪcᴀʟ ᴛoᴘᴅᴇcᴋɪɴɢ sᴋɪʟʟs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ sɪᴢᴀʙʟᴇ ᴍoᴜɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɢɪᴀɴᴛ! Kᴜᴅos ᴛo ʏoᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʟs ɴo ᴀɴɢʀʏ cʜɪcᴋᴇɴ ᴛᴇᴛʀᴀᴢᴢɪɴo.
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Kripp