twitchquotes:
ok guys this is my first attempt at making a copypasta so wish me luck
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More Copypastas
Among Us concerned father
Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game βAmong Usβ after playing it on his computer. While i didnβt mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'susβ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said βkickedβ. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying heβll βejectβ me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Dripβ, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a βcrewmateβ. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use βventβ to get there. I donβt know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
Among Us / Amogus
joe biden said he was the impostor
I π met joe biden at πΈπ¦ 3 ππ am π he said π¬π he was the ππ€ impostor guys β should ππ« i π believe π» him π¨π© im πΌ soo scared β i dont π‘ know π€β what to ππΆ do π help π me π out. 
Emoji Pasta
Hey Tyler, I've been a beta male all my life
twitchquotes:
Hey Tyler, I've been a beta male all my life. My mommy tells me to man up. My daddy disowned me. All the kids pick on me at school and push me over. Even my girlfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't play Draven. Tyler could you please mod me so I may ban people randomly in your chat to be alpha 
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Tyler1
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
COVID
Coronavirus
Albert Einsteinerino
twitchquotes:
hello kripp, my name is Albert Einsteinerino, and I've been a huge fan of yours. You've inspired me to quit my physics degree and pursue my dream of playing video games all day asking for donations from people. Thank you for motivating me to go after my dream
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Kripp