[Copypasta] Wikipedia donation request

To all our readers in the U.S., Please don't scroll past this. This Friday we humbly ask you to defend Wikipedia's future. 98% of our readers don't give; they simply look the other way. If you are an exceptional reader who has already donated, we sincerely thank you. If you donate just $2.75 today, Wikipedia could keep thriving in the long term. We ask you, humbly: please don’t scroll away. If Wikipedia has given you $2.75 worth of knowledge, take a minute to donate to the Wikimedia Endowment. Show the world that access to reliable, neutral information matters to you. Thank you.
January 2022
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More Copypastas

I hardly ever watch twitch anymore

twitchquotes: I hardly ever watch twitch anymore, and it’s mostly because of cringe chat. All you do is copy and paste the same things or constantly repeat the same stupid emotes in response to everything. So predictable and annoying
twitch chat
September 2020

I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday

twitchquotes: I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday. I told him it would be cool to see him play arena again. He said, “Why, so you can snipe me at 8 wins?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I thought he was going for a brofist, so I extended my hand only to have it slapped away in disgust. Later on I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen murlocs in his hands without paying.
twitch chat
July 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

It's not gay with socks on

When I was 13 years old a buddy of mine tried to convince me to fool around. I wasn't into it, and he told me it's not gay if you're wearing socks. I didn't believe him, went home, and asked my dad. That's 'gentleman's gay', hardly gay at all. Don't see it much these days. The 50s were a different time. What were we to do? We were typical boarding school boys, rich with vigor, skin slick with drying sweat and gritty earth from a game of pigskin. At night our young, virile bodies filled the dorm with sweet-musky vapors, like game-meat stewed with apple and peppercorn. You'd awake in darkness to the hushed, melodic rhythm of two pairs of white tube socks, barely visible in moonlight, bouncing on the hardwood floor. The deep bond of male friendship played like a thousand different human instruments. The wet claps of skin on skin, the gentle thud of heads on backboards, frenzied cries in the throes of climax. Wilbur, so fat and soft like tapioca pudding. His breasts were so like the real thing, what we fantasized of our future wives. Unwilling, defenseless Wilbur, so slow and uncoordinated in the dark. 10 of us would glaze his bare, pink flesh like a giant raspberry danish. He once had the audacity to tell Headmaster Redford. But Redford was a Deerfield boy once, he understood. So he joined us on our midnight hog hunts. Through college and years after we'd find time here and there, away from the wives at a family lake house. But it's been decades now - the times have certainly changed. If you wanted to do something private with another man, in your socks, it wasn’t ‘gay’. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
August 2021

Crying laughing hands on face emoji (ICANT emote)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⡯⠝⠛⠊⠉⠉⠉⠉⠓⠛⠫⢽⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⠗⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡽⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣎⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠠⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢯⢿⣿ ⡿⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠰⠶⣶⣤⣌⡀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠤⡀⠀⠀⠑⢔⠒⠢⢄⠀⠈⢎⢿ ⣷⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠉⠁⠐⠠⢀⠀⠈⠐⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠢⠀⠘⣿ ⡾⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠊⡲⠤⠄⡀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠀⢿ ⡇⠀⢀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣁⠀⠦⣀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⢸ ⢧⡰⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⣌⠀⠉⠙⠳⠦⣭⣔⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⡾ ⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⠾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⡀⠈⠙⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⢿ ⣇⣇⠀⠀⡰⠃⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣈⡑⢠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢸ ⣿⣿⣧⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢺ ⣿⣿⣿⣽⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⢸⡇⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣒⣦⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⢤⣼⣳⣯⣿⣷⣿⣤⣯⣾⣿⣿
December 2021

I'm a 13 year old atheist

twitchquotes: I'm a 13 year old atheist and it's funny seeing the 'minds' in twitch chat entertained by a children's videogame lmao. Whenever you idiots "Pog Champ" or "OMEGA LUL", I am studying the works of Plato, Sun Tzu, Richard and Mortimer etc. and expanding my knowledge. Guess who will have the better job in 10 years?
twitch chat
April 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing