[Copypasta] You've been visited by Hellbear Smasher of fortune

twitchquotes: ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ You've been visited by Hellbear Smasher of fortune. Clap your paws and copy paste this message 5 times without getting banned by mods and luck be with you for the next year ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ
twitch chat
August 2014
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Lord Microsoft

10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington. A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine. "Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside. Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out. The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground. "This is the last one?" the figure asks. "Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for." The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger. "Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-" "Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!" The guards grab the man, hoisting him up. "Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection. "Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse." The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain. He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale. "How may I serve you, my lord."
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

Torture dance 4

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣷⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢉⣻⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⡉⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣴⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡠⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠂ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⢿⣿⣥⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣷⣿⣃⡀⢴⣿⣿⡿⣿⣍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2019

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Torture Dance

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Spamming is my passion

twitchquotes: Dᴇᴀʀ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs: Yᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴀɴɴᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ 10 ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇs, ʙᴜᴛ sʜɪᴛᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ғɪɴᴅ ᴀ ᴡᴀʏ. I ᴡɪʟʟ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs. I ᴡɪʟʟ ʟɪᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ғᴀᴄᴇs. I ᴡɪʟʟ RIP ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɴɪ ᴄᴀᴘᴘᴜᴄᴄɪɴᴏ ᴘɪsᴛᴀᴄʜɪᴏ. Sᴏ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡᴀsᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʙᴀɴɴɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ sᴘᴀᴍᴍɪɴɢ ɪs ᴍʏ ᴘᴀssɪᴏɴ, AND I WILL COME BACK! Pʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ɴᴀᴢɪʀɪɴᴏ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɪɴᴏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Doublelift's not even the best ADC on CLG

twitchquotes: Doublelift best ADC NA? Doublelift's not even the best ADC on CLG
twitch chat
February 2015
Riot Games

League of Legends

Hi Kripp, this is Pogo’s mom

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, this is Pogo’s mom. I noticed you haven’t been picking my son for your team in gym class. Pogo has been having a really tough time since his dad and I split up, and it doesn’t make it easy on him when you reroll and say, "We’re never taking Pogo". I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if someone said that about you. Pogo has mech synergy and can be combined into one big Pogo if you have 3! Why don’t you try being a bit more inclusive?
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing