[Copypasta] Unidan "jackdaw is a crow"

Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
October 2021

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
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This is why eSports will never...

twitchquotes: This is why eSports will never hit the general public as hard as for instance soccer. the way you kids are spamming this chat is just ruining the whole experience for a grown man. Seriously. Grow up.
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pepeJAM

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⡿⠶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠒⠒⠲⠶⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⢀⣀⡀⠤⣦⢰⣤⣶⢶⣤⣤⣈⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠟⠁⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣊⡘⠲⣶⣷⣶⠶⠶⠶⠦⠤⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠔⠊⠁⠁⠄⠄⢾⡿⣟⡯⣖⠯⠽⠿⠛⠛⠭⠽⠊⣲⣬⠽⠟⠛⠛⠭⢵⣂⠄ ⡎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⡷⠋⣴⡆⠄⠐⠂⢸⣿⣿⡶⢱⣶⡇⠄⠐⠂⢹⣷⣶⠆ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄⣿⡓⠮⣅⣀⣀⣐⣈⣭⠤⢖⣮⣭⣥⣀⣤⣤⣭⡵⠂⠄ ⣤⡀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢻⣿⣿⣶⣶⡶⢖⣢⣴⣿⣿⣟⣛⠿⠿⠟⣛⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡗⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⡘⠿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⠱⢿⣿⣿⠿⢛⠰⣞⡛⠷⣬⣙⡛⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣓⡀⠄ ⢡⣾⣷⢠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣌⡛⠷⣦⣍⣛⠻⠿⢿⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⡶⠾⠿⠟⠁⠄ ⣿⡟⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣙⡛⠓⠒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠿⠟⠄⠄⠄ ⠿⡐⢬⣛⡻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣾⣿⣷⣶⣭⣝⣒⣒⠶⠬⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⣐⣒⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
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Text-to-Speech Playing