[Copypasta] Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji. I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you? If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit. If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
April 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Section 420.69 of the dank meme tribunal

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I’m sorry, that copypastarino is illegal in chat use as dictated by section 420.69 of the dank meme tribunal. Those in violation of section 420.69 are subject to immediate donger removal. Thank you for your cooperation. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

Please ask your opponent to emote Kripp

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, whenever I watch you it is hard for me to tell if my video has frozen or not because your face never moves. Please ask your opponent to emote so I know it's live!
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Grand Dragon Jebodiah Pasterino

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is the Grand Dragon of the KKK, Jebodiah Pasterino. I see you're wearing one of our signature white hoods. We at the KKK do not associate with casuals such as yourself. Please remove the hood or we will take legal action.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Cattarrian warns Pupparrian

twitchquotes: "Welcome to your new home,” says the Kripp as he carries the Pupparrian in his bony arms. The puppy leaps from his uncomfortable position onto the ground and begins to run around. Soon, he grows tired and goes to bed. That night, a ghostly cat visits the Pupparrian in his sleep. “Flee,” warns the Cattarrian, “The Kripp plans on eating you, as he once ate me.”
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp
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