[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Ninja's wife and xqc's twitter feud

twitchquotes: Of course 🤗 I was going to answer👮‍♂️ sweetie , 🥰 I was eating breakfast🧇, fueling up for a productive day 💅 Not very relatable 🤨 I know! 😼 You should teach me a thing 😗 or 2✌ about fundraisers 🗣💵 i'm sure you know a thing or two ✌ about raising funds. 🤣🤪 I mean, these gucci 🐍 bags don't pay for themselves. 🙌 🦍
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xQcOW

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twitchquotes: ᕦ[ •́ ﹏ •̀ ]⊃¤=[]::::::::> TO BATTLE ᕦ[ •́ ﹏ •̀ ]⊃¤=[]::::::::>
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Forsen

OMEGALUL

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November 2018

BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019

Message Dongered

twitchquotes: <ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ>
twitch chat
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Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing