[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Kripp please lick knee twice

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Rᴀɴɪᴀ. Mʏ ᴛᴏɴɢᴜᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ʟɪᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴡᴇᴇᴛ ᴋɴᴇᴇ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ ᴀʟʟ ɴɪɢʜᴛ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʟɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ ᴛᴡɪᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴡᴀʀᴅ ɪ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Magnus Carlsen has the most braindead viewership

twitchquotes: It’s funny how arguably the smartest person on this platform also has the most braindead viewership. What the hell even is a copypasta? Grow up.
twitch chat
April 2021
maskenissen

I will tell Michael to ban you all

twitchquotes: Hello twitch chat. This is michaels mother speaking. Please stop the spam in the chat. I can't read the amazing conversations that you are having about my son. Thanks. Don't copy and paste this to spam more or I will tell Michael to ban you all.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

FrankerZ

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⠤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣼⠁⠀⠀⢠⣤⣬⣇⣀⣠⡿⠋⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏ ⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠹⣿⣿⡽⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠙⠃⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⡀⠀⠈⢻⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⠿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠛⠛⠂⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

the CANCEL CULTURE MOB got to Jerma, this is awful

the CANCEL CULTURE MOB got to Jerma, this is awful I am disgusted. Of all the people who deserve to be shat on, Jerma is the last person on that list. He ended his last stream abruptly in tears, he didn't even go to the subs list. I wasn't even looking at chat at that moment, so I was confused. I go on Twitter and I see a trending hashtag #Jerma985isOverParty, people generally being very mean to him, and why? Because apparently he compared Dr. Who to Rick & Morty. Wow. Congratulations, you bullied a 36-year-old young boy to tears, just because of a joke. Grow a thicker skin, snowflakes.
July 2022
Jerma985
Text-to-Speech Playing