[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp and his tiny peckerwood

twitchquotes: Omg Kripp... I remember seeing you in the hallways during school. I remember seeing your zipper down and I kept eyeing you tiny peckerwood. You always had the cutest grin. Please call me (205-069-1337) and find me. I will always love you. ~Eddy Pepperino (not wearing any panties atm).
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Creepy The Impostor is Sus

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣽⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠻⠯⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣅⠾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⢷⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣶⣄⠀⠸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡕⠀⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⡏⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡟⠻⢿⠟⣹⡇⠀⠀⠈⠻⠟⠃⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣷⣦⣤⣶⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⠀⣐⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡆⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠙⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⢼⠀⡜⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⡀⣴⣶⣞⣿⡟⢸⢠⣿⣿⣿⡟⠜⢿⣿⡿⠀⢀⠉⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⣠⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
July 2021

Among Us / Amogus

N-word pass

⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⢰⣄⠀⠻⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⣿⣦⡀⠈⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⠁⢀⡈⠉⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⡟⠁⢀⣀⣀⠈⠹⡇⠀⣶⣤⡄⠈⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣦⠀⢻ ⣿⡇⠀⠟⢀⠈⢻⠀⢸⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⡇⠀⠉⠉⢀⣰⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠀⣸ ⣿⡇⠀⣠⣾⣷⡀⠀⢸⣦⡀⠈⠉⠉⢀⣰⡇⠀⣷⣤⡀⠙⣿⠀⢸⣿⠿⠁⢠⣿ ⣿⣷⠾⠛⠛⠻⠿⣷⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢷⣴⣿⣿⡿⠶⠛⠤⣄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⢰⣶⣦⠀⢸⡿⠁⠀⢹⣿⡏⢀⣤⣀⣿⣿⡟⠀⣠⣶⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠘⠋⠁⣠⣾⠃⢠⡇⠀⢻⣧⣀⠉⠙⠛⢿⣧⣀⣀⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⢰⣾⣿⣿⠇⢀⣠⣤⡄⠈⣿⣿⢿⣷⡆⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠆⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣀⣼⣿⣿⣯⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣄⣸⣧⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿⡉⣀⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2019

A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once

A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once. He comes is and is posturing like he’s really tall and large but the guy couldn’t be more than 5’4”. The class starts and he is just sitting there in quietly staring forward in the front of the class with an awfully distorted picture of his face that said “The required information is in the lab directions” but he never handed us anything. This goes on for a minute until one of the talkative kids just asks if he is okay he hadn’t even taken a breath yet and veins were popping out of his neck and forehead. The moment the kid made a noise he stated wildly shaking his head around while making high pitched laser(?) sounds. Worst period of geology I’ve ever had. The rest was just him passing out the lab sheet but he would just hold it toward them motionless until they reached for it and he would snatch it away and laugh at them right in their face. Couldn’t find a more fucked guy if I tried. I'll edit in the image if anyone got a pic of it.
March 2022
Jerma985

DrDisrespect shungite

Anyways, um... I bought a whole bunch of shungite rocks, do you know what shungite is? Anybody know what shungite is? No, not Suge Knight, I think he's locked up in prison. I'm talkin' shungite. Anyways, it's a two billion year-old like, rock stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of stuff. Put 'em around the la casa. Little pyramids, stuff like that.
May 2020
DrDisRespectLIVE

Classic

Shungite

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