Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
I used to be a real ad
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When spam, my text automatically go to the smallest size
twitchquotes:
ʷʰᵉᶰ ˢᵖᵃᵐ, ᵐʸ ᵗᵉˣᵗ ᵃᵘᵗᵒᵐᵃᵗᶦᶜᵃᶫᶫʸ ᵍᵒ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵐᵃᶫᶫᵉˢᵗ ˢᶦᶻᵉ⋅ ᶦ ᶜᵃᶰ ᵐᵃˣᶦᵐᶦᶻᵉ ˢᵖᵃᵐ ᵖᵉʳ ᵖᶦˣᵉᶫ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶦᶰᶜʳᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᶦᶠᶠᶦᶜᵘᶫᵗʸ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ˢᵃᶦᵈ ˢᵖᵃᵐ ᶜᵃᵘˢᶦᶰᵍ ᶠʳᵘˢᵗʳᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵛᶦᵉʷᵉʳ⋅ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵇᵉᶜᵒᵐᶦᶰᵍ ᵐᵃˣᶦᵐᵘᵐ ᵉᶠᶠᶦᶜᶦᵉᶰᶜʸ
twitch chat
Classic
AITA for drop kicking my 2 month old sister down the stairs?
Some backstory required: Earlier today I was trying to relax but she wouldn't stop fucking making annoying ass googoo gaga noises. So today, I see her, and she is actually standing up! First I think to take a picture and tell my parents, but than I remember what an entitled bitch she is. I run forward, and leap forward and plant both my feet in her face as we both tumble down the stairs. I told my parents that she crawked in front of me whilst I was about to use the stairs so I'm out of trouble, and the surgery went fine and she is basically fine although she seems to have fucking learned her lesson as she 'talks' a lot less now. Next time she does this I'm uppercutting her entitled little baby skull
Am I The Asshole?
sick of mf's in fighting shows saying "i come in peace."
sick of mf's in fighting shows saying "i come in peace."
okay??? who asked bro, i dont care if you came in peace. i dont even know who the fuck peace is, i really hope she didn't get pregnant with your foul cum. like bro, we dont care if you came in peace, i came in your mom and you dont see me telling everyone everywhere i go.
Scary Pepega
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠪⡳⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⠦⠤⠒⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠪⡻⣿⣀⣶⣶⣶⡤⠬⠙⠛⠃⢤⣭⠖⣢⡀⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢚⢿⣿⣿⣯⠴⢛⣭⣽⣽⣕⡉⢜⣵⠾⢿⣿⣄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢔⣦⣾⣿⣿⣟⢿⣿⡟⠄⠘⣿⣿⡞⣿⡀⢠⡽⣿⣷⡀
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣮⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡏⣿⠁ ⭕ ⣡⣿⣿⡿⠿ ⭕ ⠅
⠄⠄⠄⣴⣽⣿⣿⠟⠫⠽⣿⣿⡿⢻⣧⠱⣙⠿⢿⠿⢿⢛⣥⡙⠥⠬⠅⣂⣤⡤
⠄⢌⣾⣿⣿⡿⣱⠚⠻⣷⣝⢿⣿⣦⣭⣑⣂⣉⣭⣥⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⣾⣿⠿⠋⢹
⣜⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⠄⠸⣦⣭⠓⠪⠭⣛⣛⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣟⣛⣛⠭⢝⣢⠄⢧⢸
⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⠄⠄⠻⠃⠄⢿⣷⡶⠄⣭⣭⡍⠩⣭⣭⡤⠄⠄⠻⣿⠄⠄⢸
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠹⠋⠄⠄⠙⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡠⠎
⢡⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣧⠄⢠⣶⡀⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣄⠄⠄⢠⡿⠝⠄
⠄⠩⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠻⣧⡙⢿⣿⠄⢰⣿⡄⠄⢀⣿⡄⠄⢀⣾⣿⡷⠄⡩⠊⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠑⢝⢿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣛⠳⢦⣤⣍⣙⣛⣀⣛⣛⣃⣀⡉⢍⠠⠔⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠫⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣭⣭⣭⠭⠭⠙⠂⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
Pepe
Kripp you promised to start a cooking show soon
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripparino riparino, I know you love your Hearthstone but you promised your loving father that you would start a cooking show soon. The gig is up, after this game you must Gordon Ramsay us one splendarino disharoni.
twitch chat
Kripp