[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
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Copy and paste anything as long as there are clap emojis

twitchquotes: 👏 YOU 👏 IDIOTS 👏 WILL 👏 PASTE 👏 ANYTHING 👏 AS 👏 LONG 👏 AS 👏 THERE 👏 ARE 👏 CLAP 👏 EMOJIS 👏
twitch chat
March 2018

After Reynad uses pictures of his forehead for Tinder...

twitchquotes: After Reynad began using only pictures of his forehead for his Tinder account, his amount of female attention increased drastically. One woman was particularly ready to hop in bed with him. "I'm going to make so much money off of this thirsty Ukrainian!" she said to herself. Unfortunately for her she left her phone on with Andrey's Tinder profile open and his forehead heard her. She "disappeared" within the week.
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

KFC

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣋⣭⣥⣭⣭⣍⡉⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠠⠶⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⢀⡴⢊⣴⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠙⡟⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠰⠟⠛⠛⠿⠿⠟⢋⢉⠍⢩⣠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠁⣑⣬⣤⡀⣾⣦⣶⣾⣖⣼⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿ ⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⠟⠰⠻⠿⣣⡙⠿⣿⠋⠄⢀⡀⣀⠄⣀⣀⢀⣀⣀⢸ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠄⠚⠛⠉⠭⣉⢁⣿⠄⢀⡿⢾⣅⢸⡗⠂⢿⣀⡀⢸ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢧⣄⠄⣻⣿⣿⣾⠟⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡀⠄⠄⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⢸⡄⠄⢦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⣼ ⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡸⣿⠒⠄⠈⠛⠄⠁⢹⡟⣾⡇⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⣠⣴⣦⠄⠄⢸⣷⡹⣧⣖⡔⠄⠱⣮⣻⣷⣿⣿⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠸⠿⠿⠚⠛⠁⠂⠄⠉⠉⡅⢰⡆⢰⡄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⣷⠘⣧⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣄⣀⣀⡀⠄⣀⣀⣹⣦⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you

twitchquotes: Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you. Every morning I wake up and wash my adderall down with GFUEL™️, I have a python script that uploads my gameplay directly to reddit and I have amassed over 3 million karma. I only have TTV in my name ironically but also I have a stream PogChamp. If my ping were lower I would literally never lose, my 80% headshot percentage (op included) always carries my team. Let's be honest LUL you will probably never be on my level because of my insane natural talent.
twitch chat
August 2020

Dear Qtpie. This is the Queen of England

twitchquotes: Dear Qtpie. This is the Queen of England. I am revoking your knighthood due to your refusal to play Sion. Furthermore, keeping any gate is henceforth considered an act of high treason. Your insolence stops here foul knave
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

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