[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny?

Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the 💀 emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? But Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the 💀 emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? But Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the 💀 emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch.
October 2021

I forgor

Barack Obama

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠋⠛⠛⠛⠻⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢠⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⢀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠄⠄⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡈⢔⠸⣐⢕⢕⢵⢰⢱⢰⢐⢤⡡⡢⣕⢄⢢⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠂⠅⢕⠌⡎⡎⣎⢎⢮⢮⣳⡳⣝⢮⢺⢜⢕⢕⢍⢎⠪⡐⠄⠁⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⢅⠣⡡⡣⣣⡳⡵⣝⡮⣗⣗⡯⣗⣟⡮⡮⣳⣣⣳⢱⢱⠱⣐⠄⠂⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢂⢈⠢⡱⡱⡝⣮⣿⣟⣿⣽⣷⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣾⣯⣗⡕⡇⡇⠄⠂⡀⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢀⢂⢕⢸⢨⢪⢳⡫⣟⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡺⡮⡣⡣⠠⢂⠒⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠐⠄⡂⠆⡇⣗⣝⢮⢾⣻⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣽⣯⡯⣺⢸⢘⠨⠔⡅⢨⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⠉⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⡂⡪⡪⡪⡮⡮⡯⣻⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⡯⣯⡺⡸⡰⡱⢐⡅⣼⣿ ⣿⠡⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠈⠆⠱⠑⠝⠜⠕⡝⡝⣞⢯⢿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣽⣷⣽⡸⡨⡪⣂⠊⣿⣿ ⣿⠡⠄⡨⣢⠐⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠍⡓⣗⡽⣝⠽⠍⠅⠑⠁⠉⠘⠘⠘⠵⡑⢜⢀⢀⢉⢽ ⣿⠁⠠⢱⢘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠈⠱⣁⠜⡘⠌⠄⠄⡪⣳⣟⡮⢅⠤⠠⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠈⡂⢲⡪⡠⣿ ⣿⡇⠨⣺⢐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠤⡠⡢⢒⠦⠠⠄⠄⠄⡸⢽⣟⢮⠢⡂⡐⠄⡈⡀⠤⡀⠄⠑⢄⠨⢸⡺⣐⣿ ⣿⣿⠈⠕⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡂⡪⡐⡥⢤⣰⣰⣰⡴⡮⠢⠂⠄⠄⡊⢮⢺⢕⢵⢥⡬⣌⣒⡚⣔⢚⢌⢨⢚⠌⣾⡪⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡑⢕⢕⡯⡷⣕⢧⢓⢭⠨⡀⠄⡂⠨⡨⣪⡳⣝⢝⡽⣻⣻⣞⢽⣲⢳⢱⢡⠱⠨⣟⢺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⡅⠇⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠨⢪⢹⢽⢽⣺⢝⠉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⢌⢎⡖⡯⡎⡗⢝⠜⣶⣯⣻⢮⡻⣟⣳⡕⠅⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠔⡑⠕⠝⠄⡀⠄⠄⠊⢆⠂⠨⡪⣺⣮⣿⡾⡜⣜⡜⣄⠙⢞⣿⢿⡿⣗⢝⢸⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠠⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠊⠺⡹⠳⡙⡜⡓⡭⡺⡀⠄⠣⡻⡹⡸⠨⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⣂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠤⡤⡄⡆⡯⡢⡣⡣⡓⢕⠽⣄⠄⠨⡂⢌⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠆⠄⠸⡂⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠈⠄⠂⠁⠙⠝⠼⠭⠣⠣⠣⠑⠌⠢⠣⡣⡠⡘⣰⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢑⠄⠈⡱⠄⢘⠄⡀⠨⢐⣧⣳⣷⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⡶⠄⡠⡢⡕⣜⠎⡮⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠢⠄⠨⠄⠄⠣⡀⠄⢀⢀⢙⠃⡿⢿⠿⡿⡿⢟⢋⢔⡱⣝⢜⡜⡪⡪⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠅⠄⠡⠄⠄⠡⢀⢂⠢⡡⠡⠣⡑⣏⢯⡻⡳⣹⡺⡪⢎⠎⡆⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠁⠄⢈⠄⢂⠕⡕⡝⢕⢎⢎⢮⢎⢯⢺⢸⢬⠣⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠨⡐⠌⢆⢇⢧⢭⣣⡳⣵⢫⣳⢱⠱⢑⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⡊⢌⢢⢡⢣⢪⡺⡪⡎⡎⡎⡚⣨⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠕⡅⢗⢕⡳⡭⣳⢕⠕⡱⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠌⠄⠑⠩⢈⢂⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⢄⠄⣀⠄⡀⣀⢠⢄⣖⣖⣞⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣱⡐⡕⡕⡽⣝⣟⣮⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣽⣸⣃⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2021

Morons will copy anything if it's long enough

twitchquotes: Morons in this chat will copy anything you say if it's long enough. They won't even read the entire message. They just see a paragraph of text and instinctually copy it and paste it as if they wrote it themselves. It's actually sad how brain dead you people can be, copying and pasting things that have no meaning only because it caught your attention. FailFish
twitch chat
March 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

salty

I love watching QT games

twitchquotes: I love watching QT games. It always shows me that no matter how far behind a team is, they can come back and stomp QT; truly inspiring.
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Ready Hafu

twitch chat
November 2014
Hafu
Text-to-Speech Playing