Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Discord user cracks after seeing the word “sus”
oh my god
among us isnt FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE
ITS BEEN MONTHS
MONTHS
IM SICK OF THIS SHIT
JUST FIND SOMETHING ELSE PEOPLE OH MY GOD
EVERYTHING ABOUT AMONG US IS UNCOOL
LITERALLY EVERYTHING
IT SCREAMS “IM A VIRGIN”
AND GODDAMNIT THAT WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS SHITB
ITS NOT FUNNY
ITS A DUDE ON METH
WHY DO PEOPLE LAUGH AT THIS
LIKE WHAT THE HELL BRO
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
HOLY SHIT HUMANITY IS FUCKed
THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE ALL TIME LOW
OH MY FYCKING LOOORDDD DUDE
@everyone STOP MAKING AMONG US JOKES
ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY
holy shit
fuck anybody who finds among us funny
im done with this shit
Among Us / Amogus
How to have sex and still be a virgin
You see if you have sex with another virgin you're therefore taking their virginity and they are taking your virginity so it's a win-win and you can still use Reddit
Masturbating to Dream during class
Putin had a private screening of Morbius
Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”
Morbius
CTRL+C CTRL+V ENTER
twitchquotes:
You idly watching the stream, mindlessly wasting yet another evening. You notice 4+ length message in the chat. Grabbing the mouse, hovering over, scrolling up. Reading the message and realizing the pasta has no meaning at all. CTRL+C CTRL+V ENTER. You are retarded.
twitch chat