Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Ghiaccio: You know Paris, France?
You know Paris, France? In English, it's pronounced "Paris" but everyone else pronounces it without the "s" sound, like the French do. But with Venezia, everyone pronouces it the English way: "Venice". Like 'The Merchant of Venice' or 'Death in Venice'. WHY, THOUGH!? WHY ISN'T THE TITLE DEATH IN VENEZIA!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? IT TAKES PLACE IN ITALY, SO USE THE ITALIAN WORD, DAMMIT! THAT SHIT PISSES ME OFF! BUNCH OF DUMBASSES!
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Where can I find the NA skins
twitchquotes:
Hey Chat! I noticed most teams have skins for their region SKT for Korea FNC for Europe And apparently IG will be getting some for China Where can I find the NA skins
Hey Chat! I noticed most teams have skins for their region SKT for Korea FNC for Europe And apparently IG will be getting some for China Where can I find the NA skins
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
EU vs NA
forsenLUL
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⢴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⣶⣿⠟⠁⣠⣶⣶⣤⣄⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄
⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣴⡿⠛⠁⢠⣾⣯⣉⡉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣍⡉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
⣿⡟⠁⠄⣾⠋⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⣷⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠟⠄⠄⣠⣴⠋⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣹⣟⡉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀
⠄⠄⣴⡟⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣌⡙⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⢰⣿⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⡟⢁⣤⣤⣭⡙⠳⢦⣄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟
⠄⣾⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⡏⠉⠻⠿⣷⣆⠹⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠄⠄
⠄⡿⠄⣡⣬⠉⣻⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠂⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⢠⣾
⠄⣡⣾⡿⢇⣼⣿⠿⠿⠟⢉⣉⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⣴⣿⠏
⣾⣿⣟⣁⣈⣩⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠋⠡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⢀⣾⡟⠁⠄
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⣋⣉⣩⣭⠉⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿
Forsen
Emote
Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police
twitchquotes:
📢 ATTENTION, OCTAVIAN MOROSAN! This is Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police! You have been accused of violating the Supreme Vegan Charter by drafting beast cards in your arena decks and forcing them to fight for you! This is a blatant act of animal exploitation and is punishable by death! Surrender peacefully and we will make it a quick and painless one! This is your only warning!
📢 ATTENTION, OCTAVIAN MOROSAN! This is Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police! You have been accused of violating the Supreme Vegan Charter by drafting beast cards in your arena decks and forcing them to fight for you! This is a blatant act of animal exploitation and is punishable by death! Surrender peacefully and we will make it a quick and painless one! This is your only warning!
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Szechuan sauce at McDonald's
"Hey, do you guys have szechuan sauce?", I ask the low IQ minimum wage slave. "N-no, sir. We just ran out", he muttered. I was overcome with a primal rage. I jump on the counter, screaming "I'm Pickle Rick!”. The 200 IQ crowd chanted in unison, “WUBBALUBBA DUB DUB” whilst beating their chests towards the cowering worker. I put my shirt over my head and let out the purest REEE to show my devotion to Rick. Everyone else REEEs as well. Yes, my brothers, let it all out. The manger comes in and calls the police, he doesn’t understand the mature and intellectual nature of our cries. We Naruto run to the next McDonalds store as we search endlessly for that sauce.