[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Doesn't mean I'm a virgin

twitchquotes: 😡 Just because I watch Kripp 😡 doesn't mean I'm a virgin 😡 It's just a coincidence 😡
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Every 60 seconds in Murica, 60000 burgers are digested

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Eᴠᴇʀʏ 60 sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅs ɪɴ Mᴜʀɪᴄᴀ, 60,000 ʙᴜʀɢᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ᴅɪɢᴇsᴛᴇᴅ. Tᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴛʜɪs. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴅ. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Giovanni Lasagna from Library on A site Inferno hates Jame

Its a me, receptionist Giovanni Lasagna from Library on A site Inferno. I like to read my book in silence but mamma mia, i can not! There is man storming into quiet library every 10 minute with gun he say "He need his AWP next round" so he "is saving". Tell him, I will call police next time!!!!
May 2022

CSGO

I can see you

⠄⠠⢀⠐⡀⢐⠐⠐⠄⠂⠐⠄⠂⠐⠄⠐⠄⠂⠐⠈⠠⠑⠨⠢⡊⠔⡐⠄ ⠄⠂⠠⠐⠄⠄⡀⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⡀⠄⠈⠨⠠⡁ ⠄⠈⠄⠄⡀⢂⠠⠐⢀⠂⠠⠈⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠠⠄⠂⡀⠄⠈⠐ ⠄⠄⠄⡂⡐⠠⡂⠅⡂⠌⡐⠈⠄⠨⢀⠂⡁⠌⠠⡁⡂⠅⠌⠄⢂⠠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢂⠢⢨⣶⡾⢷⣦⡅⡂⠅⡡⢁⠂⡂⡂⢅⢑⣴⣾⠾⣮⣌⢐⠠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢂⢊⢿⡏⠡⠂⢽⡗⢌⢂⠢⡁⠪⡐⠄⢕⢸⣿⠑⠡⢸⡿⢐⠨⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠅⡢⡙⠿⣾⢼⠟⡕⡑⢔⠡⡊⢌⠢⡑⡑⡌⡻⢷⢷⠟⢍⠢⡁⠂⠄ ⠄⠄⠌⡂⡪⡑⡆⣇⣣⣱⣸⣰⣱⣜⣬⣪⣬⣦⣣⣎⣖⣔⣕⢅⢕⠨⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡑⣬⣺⡾⣿⣿⣻⣯⣿⣟⣿⣽⣿⣻⣿⣾⢿⣻⣿⣻⣯⣿⣲⢅⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢪⢗⣯⡏⠙⣯⣿⣯⣷⣿⣿⣽⣾⣿⢷⣿⡿⣿⣻⠝⢓⡷⡯⡣⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠈⢝⢞⡿⣦⡀⠙⠯⢿⢷⣿⣽⢿⣾⢿⡯⡟⠏⢁⢤⡿⡝⡕⠁⠄⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠝⣗⣟⡷⣤⣀⣁⠈⠈⠉⠊⣁⡠⣤⢶⣻⢽⠱⠑⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠸⠹⠽⡽⣽⣻⣻⣟⣟⣷⣻⢽⢫⠣⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠣⢣⢓⢗⢳⢹⢸⠸⠈⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄I CAN SEE YOU⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
January 2021

Kripp's bike accident

twitchquotes: Toronto authorities reported that Octavian "kripp" Morosan passed away last night in the Toronto east general Hospital after a bike accident near his home
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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