[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2

twitchquotes: So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
November 2018

Twelve days of gachi

twitchquotes: gachiGASM On the Twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me gachiGASM 12 slaves in bondage gachiGASM 11 Pairs of shackles gachiGASM 10 12-inch dildos gachiGASM 9 boys next door gachiGASM 8 brand new whips gachiGASM 7 hydra dicks gachiGASM 6 hot loads gachiGASM 5 wrestling mats gachiGASM 4 suction masks gachiGASM 3 fisting sessions gachiGASM 2 billy figures gachiGASM And a signed autograph from aniki gachiGASM
twitch chat
April 2019
Forsen

KappaPride

Hey Imaqtpie, I think you should play Kogmaw

twitchquotes: Hey imaqtpie, theres a new champ named kogmaw who i think would be perfect for your playstyle. Kogmaw is capable of doing damage after hes been killed and I think you could really benefit from that passive ability. Hope this helps!
twitch chat
June 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Nut

⣤⣤⡀⠀⣤⣤⡤⢠⣤⣤⡀⣠⣤⡄⣠⣤⣠⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀ ⠘⣿⣧⡀⠀⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⡟⠁⢹⣯⠀⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇⠘⢿⣤⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣠⣧⠀⠈⢻⣿⠀⠀⢿⣧⡀⣠⡿⠀⠀⠀⣸⣋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀
January 2021

All of twitch seems to follow you almost like a cult

twitch chat
November 2014
Trick2g
Text-to-Speech Playing