Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
My best friend is racist
So I met him today and asked him: "Hello, my best friend, are you racist?"
And he replied with: "Yes, I'm racist"
I was shocked. So I asked him back: "You racist?"
He said: "Yes, I'm actually racist"
To comprehend him, I asked: "Why are you racist?"
He answered with: "Because I'm racist"
I made sure: "Racism?"
He replied: "Yeah, racism"
I shout out: "Oh no"
He just: "Yeah"
And I'm just: "That's so racist"
He: "Racism"
LS aka "Lost Sight"
twitchquotes:
LS aka "Lost Sight" is a blind LCK coach, commentator and streamer who has achieved Korean masters using echolocation through clicking and poker chips. He enjoys streaming in low light environments to reduce the light energy transfer which interferes with his methods.
twitch chat
imls
League of Legends
C9 TAKE MY ENERGY
twitchquotes:
C9 TAKE MY ENERGY 
C9 TAKE MY ENERGY
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
Fat reddit snoo
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⡿⠿⠿⢿⣶⣴⣾⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠉⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⠿⢋⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⠛⠀⠈⢿⣧⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣭⣭⣉⠙⠳⣶⡆⠀⠐⣶⠶⠋⣉⣭⣭⣉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⢻⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⣸⣿⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣦⣿⠏⠈⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⣸⡗⠀⠐⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠉⢻⣷⣴⣿⠏⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⠀⠀⠘⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣉⣩⡴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠶⢭⣉⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠃⢠⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⡄⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⡟⠀⠈⠛⠿⢷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡾⠿⠋⠁⠀⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣆⠀⢈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠄⠀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⢀⠘⠁⠁⠀⡀⠀⡀⠘⢷⣤⣀⣀⠃⠀⠀⠀⣀⣈⣤⠾⠃⠀⠀⢀⢠⠀⡁⠀⢸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡔⣀⡀⡐⣦⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠏⠉⠀⠀⣰⡤⠐⠈⢠⣠⠃⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⣿⡀⡁⠹⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠁⠈⠀⠀⢄⣸⡾⠫⠐⠀⠀⣼⠋⠀⢱⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠘⢧⡁⠀⠙⠳⢶⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⣀⣢⣦⣤⠶⠞⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⡼⠃⠢⢠⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢹⠉⠉⠙⡁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡶⠋⠀⠀⢠⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣷⣄⡄⠀⡊⠙⠳⠶⠶⠶⢾⣤⣤⣤⣤⣧⣷⢶⠶⠞⢻⠉⠁⢠⠠⢈⣴⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢷⣧⣤⣀⣀⣀⣄⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣂⣠⣀⣡⣠⣀⣠⣦⣴⡾⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠙⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him.
All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry."
You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?"
Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream.
You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas.
In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow.
YOLO you whisper.