Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Guys don't be mean to Tides!
twitchquotes:
Guys don't be mean to Tides! Blizzard has hired him to figure out how many legends there are by losing as many ranks as possible. Pls no copypasta.
twitch chat
TidesOfTime
Putin should start an OnlyFans to save the Russian economy
Think about it. The Russian economy is in shambles. All assets frozen, there's no money coming in. But if he just spread that hiney for some people who would like it then why not? With a couple butt spread pictures maybe a ruble can be worth more than a potato again. Here are some content ideas that I suggest:
Wanking Videos (pretty basic, these are the cheapest ones cuz his dickπ is like 1 cmπ₯)
Body Worship Videos (kinda hot ngl π³ππ°, all his dick sucking oligarchs oil his body and touch him in ways he never thought possibleππππ€)
Sanction Bukkake (a livestream where in a dick cums on his face every time he gets a sanctionπππππππ¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦)
Lukashenko Sex Tapes (these are pretty expensive, a collection of Vladdy Daddy and Lukashenskank cumming with every position in the KamasutraππΊβππ)
Nuke-In-Crack Challenge (the most expensive one! This is where he fills his hole with the invaluable Russian crude oil and tries to fit a Nuclear Warhead up his ass! β½β’οΈππ)
What u guys think?
Russian Ukrainian War
I sexually Identify as an the sun
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and Iβm fucking retarded but I donβt care, Iβm beautiful. Iβm having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 Β°C. From now on I want you guys to call me βSolβ and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you canβt accept me youβre a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as
Reynad is like a pigeon
twitchquotes:
Reynad is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between reynad and a pigeon is that reynad intends to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings.
twitch chat
Reynad
Viewbot online, initiating praise script
twitchquotes:
VIEW BOT O N L I N E INITIATING PRAISE SCRIPT WOW NICE PLAY AMAZ
VIEW BOT O N L I N E INITIATING PRAISE SCRIPT WOW NICE PLAY AMAZ
twitch chat
Amaz