[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

You have been gifted a waifu

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” TwitchVotes You have been gifted a waifu. Type AYAYA to activateβ€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

I work hours and hours on those copypastas

twitchquotes: That's just great...really..i expected more from a "friend" of mine. You know, i work hours, and hours on those copypastas. I gave in all, really. I tried to make it perfect. Why? Because i wanted to impress you. Yes you. My "friend". Or at least i tought you were one. But when im done, you just stab me in the back, and steal my creation?! Really?! I would have expected somthing like this from a random twitch viewer, but not from you. Honestly, i think it's just simply disgusting. I...I can't even find words...You know what? If this is the reaction i'm getting, i'll just stop. Yes. I'll stop, and never post a copypasta ever again! It's because of you...my "friend".
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

"Soul" in any sense, metaphorical, spiritual or religious, does not exist

"Soul" in any sense, metaphorical, spiritual or religious, does not exist. What simpletons experience, specifically in the sense of a game having a "soul" is a feeling of comfort, enjoyment and fulfillment (among other positive feelings). Those simpletons, usually rarely experience such feeling, especially outside of gaming, and cannot comprehend that non simpletons can find positive feelings and emotion in many games (as well outside of gaming). You're a prime example of such creature, and the most fascinating part is you do not even understand or comprehend how wasted and useless your mind is. Truly a wonder to behold and a warning for all parents.
June 2021

With this dust of a Dorito chip, I use this chant to summon Kripp!

twitchquotes: (぀‒̀α΄₯‒́)぀*:ο½₯゚✧ With this dust of a Doritoβ„’ chip, I use this chant to summon Kripp! (぀‒̀α΄₯‒́)぀*:ο½₯゚✧
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. β€œUnder the Biden administration,” he says, carefully β€œThere will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. β€œEveryone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. β€œYou may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words β€œBut it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing