Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. She’s humming a song you can’t quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. “What do you want for Christmas?” You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. “Nothing, really.”
“Nothing?” She crawls into bed and touches your leg. “Are you sure?” Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. They’ll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, “What’s wrong?”
Stonks only go up.
But you don’t.
WallStreetBets
Instagram Black Squares
twitchquotes:
My fellow Americans, due to the overwhelming amount of Black squares teenage girls are posting on Instagram, the supreme court has decided end racism completely. We did not think you would go to such extreme measures but you have very much proved your point. The Military will be told to stand down just please stop. Thank you
twitch chat
NFT's are racist
Well, believe me, it's crystal clear: NFT's are racist.
You don't believe this, huh? Well, I'm going to explain it to you.
First off, the name. The The Bored Ape Yacht Club wants you to believe that "NFT" stands for Non-fungible token. This name might be an accurate name for the images of apes that are sold, but it also stands for "n****r(s) for trade". This is absolutely not okay.
NFT's have been fully covered on national news and they usual tell you that images of apes are being traded. What they don't tell you, is that those apes usually have big lips, golden chains and rings and contains an awful lot of stereotypes. NFT's use apes as a methaphor for the stereotypical black communty.
This can be explained: NFT's were invented on 4chan. 4chan is the breedplace of 99% of evil on the internet. The /pol/ communty, already infamous for it's racism and anti-semitism. created NFT's because they want to insult black people. Using complex trading methods on specific websites on the internet and needing a fast connection to the world wide web they try to exclude as many black people (mainly the African continent).
It even goes beyond that. Neo-Nazi artists, like Ben Garisson and StoneToss have recently used this way of trading to sell their art full of hate. They can do this because NFT's are completely anonymous.
Republicans and right-wingers say they screenshot NFT's. This is not an harmless joke, they try to demonstrate how 'worthless' NFT's (abbreviation for: N****r(s) for Trade) are.
Stop NFT's. Make a hashtag and cancel 'em. Cut off people that trade NFT's. Stop racism.
NFTs
Cryptocurrency
OkaygeBusiness
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Pepe
Who is TUCK and why does everyone want to FRUMP him?
twitchquotes:
Hello Twitch chat, i am new to Twitch and wanted to know who this "T U C K" guy is and why everyone wants to "F R U M P" him? I thank you for your answers and pls no copy pasta this spam Greyface 
twitch chat
Trump