[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
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More Copypastas

Spam so I may stay warm

twitchquotes: Hello chat. My home is very cold and I do not know if I will make it through the night. Whenever the chat spams, my old laptop heats up very quickly. It is the only thing keeping me alive. Please chat, spam as much as possible so I may stay warm and survive the frigid night.
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I think Kogmaw would be perfect for your playstyle

twitchquotes: Hey imaqtpie, there's a new champ named kogmaw who I think would be perfect for your playstyle. Kogmaw is capable of doing damage after he's been killed and I think you could really benefit from that passive ability. Hope this helps!
twitch chat
August 2019
imaqtpie

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Police clearing out a homeless encampment

On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and haven’t been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
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WallStreetBets

japan is best country in the world!

grrrr jappan 🇯🇵 is best country in teh world (sekai) !!!!🤬😡!!!👹🤬!!!!! west bAd grrrgghhhg japenis culture⛩🎎🎏 better than amrican🗽🍔👎!!! (>~<) vendor machine eveywhere 🗼and sakura trees are so 🌸 a e s t h e t i c 🌸 UwU if u hate it then your NOT a man of culture so shinē!!! ~hmph baka -_- 🏮
August 2021

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Punish me daddy uwu

August 2021

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NSFW

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