Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Permanently trapped in Twitch Chat
twitchquotes:
People say Hitler is finally gone right? Well guess what, he isn't. 
revived him and permanently trapped him in Twitch Chat as punishment. He roams in the Twitch Chat rooms as imaqtpie mods.
revived him and permanently trapped him in Twitch Chat as punishment. He roams in the Twitch Chat rooms as imaqtpie mods.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Yo imaqtpie u think your cool?
twitchquotes:
Yo imaqtpie u think your cool? with your fcking long hair. well guess what you piece of shit. YOUR NOT! i guess i can beat u in 1v1. im bronze 3 but its only because my team is not good
twitch chat
imaqtpie
My daughter was born with a hearing impairment
twitchquotes:
My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
For the blind, it is light
twitchquotes:
Who is [streamer name]? 
For the blind, π¦ it is light. π‘ For the hungry π£ , it is bread. π For the sick, π it is the cure. βοΈ For the sad π’ , it is joy. π For the poor π«π° , it is the treasure; π° βοΈ for the debtor β π° , it is forgiveness. π For the face πΆ , it is the lips π
For the blind, π¦ it is light. π‘ For the hungry π£ , it is bread. π For the sick, π it is the cure. βοΈ For the sad π’ , it is joy. π For the poor π«π° , it is the treasure; π° βοΈ for the debtor β π° , it is forgiveness. π For the face πΆ , it is the lips π
twitch chat
I love Carl from Brawl Stars
Guys, Iβm literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carlβs rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.