Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
What happened to this ad? :(
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OhMyDog
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Send me nudes. Not your naked body
twitchquotes:
Send me nudes. Not your naked body, not your bare skin. I want your nudes, your naked truths. Your secrets. Your lies. Your fears. The unfiltered thoughts you kept hidden for years. I won't judge. I'll listen. For your truths are real and that's who I want to know.
twitch chat
Not your naked body
What makes me a good Demoman? Meet the Demoman
What makes me a good Demoman? If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I? Let's do it! Not one of ya's gonna' survive this! One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and kablooie! I got a manky eye. I'm a black, Scottish cyclops. So T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cocksure! Prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say!I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable... with an unhappy bloody end! Oh, they're going to have to glue you back together... in hell!
Team Fortress 2
heart been broke
heart 💔 been broke 📉 so many times ⏰ i don’t know 
what to believe 💯 mama 👩❤️💋👩 said 🗣 it’s my fault 😢 it’s my fault 🤦🏻♂️i wear my heart ❤️ on my sleeve 💪 i think it’s best 👍🏻 I put my heart ❤️ on ice 🧊
what to believe 💯 mama 👩❤️💋👩 said 🗣 it’s my fault 😢 it’s my fault 🤦🏻♂️i wear my heart ❤️ on my sleeve 💪 i think it’s best 👍🏻 I put my heart ❤️ on ice 🧊
Emoji Pasta
Imaqtpie takes a break from the stream
twitchquotes:
"Alright we fuckin lost," Michael says. "I'm gonna go piss." He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately bites Small Cat's vulnerable tail. As Small Cat yelps loudly in pain, Michael overturns the nearest chair, yelling "SMAKET I LOST" as loudly as he can. Lisha tries to calm him down, but Michael swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Michael wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
imaqtpie