[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Where were you when TL beat Invictus fucking Gaming

twitchquotes: Where were you when TL beat Invictus fucking Gaming, the reigning World Champions, 3-1? This series is going down in history. No one will ever dare to call NA a wildcard region again. It's not just C9 anymore, the gap is closed. 8 years of being memed as a 4fun region, 8 years of people laughing at Doublelift being an international choker, enough is enough. We poked this monster too much, it finally got pissed, woke up, and it's fucking hungry.
twitch chat
May 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Boss of this gym

twitchquotes: Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door, the leather club's two blocks down. Fuck↗You↘ Oh, Fuck♂You leather man. Maybe you and I should settle it right here on the ring if you think your so tough. Oh yea? I'll kick your ass! Ha! Yeah right man. Let's go! Why don't you get out of that leather stuff? I'll strip down out of this and we'll settle it right here in the ring. What do you say? Yeah, no problem buddy! You got it. Get out of that uh, jabroni outfit. Yeah, smart ass. I'll show you who's the boss of this gym.
twitch chat
July 2020

KappaPride

Are we human or are we dancer?

twitchquotes: ζ༼⊙ ͟ل͜ ⊙༽ᶘ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ᴏʀ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇʀ? ζ༼⊙ ͟ل͜ ⊙༽ᶘ
twitch chat
August 2014

Crewmate with a dick

December 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

NSFW

Summon The Hydra

Ban hammer

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ▄████▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ██████▄░░░░░░▄▄▄░░░░░░░░░░ ░███▀▀▀▄▄▄▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░▄▀▀▀▄░░░█▀▀▄░▄▀▀▄░█▄░█░ ░░░▄▄████░░█▀▀▄░█▄▄█░█▀▄█░ ░░░░██████░█▄▄▀░█░░█░█░▀█░ ░░░░░▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing