[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Anyone basing trades on technical analysis right now is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking technical analysis when they can't even do basic fraction arithmetic much less understand Ito Calculus. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a number you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not you deserve losing all and hanging yourself. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade shit you know about and feel still hasn't been spotted by the bandwagon of smooth brains on subreddits like this one or r/stocks . Or alternatively manipulate the market like the rich investors you look up to do. Warren Buffet's dad was a politician, if you think that shit didn't help that fat fuck then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about volatility and RSI. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in Hawaii with a fat titty chick not on Reddit posting "technical analysis".
February 2022

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Today I learned that in 2003 the fast food company “Sonic” began printing out their own money to pay their workers. This led to a huge inflation in the economy and was one of the leading factors of the 2008-2009 recession. Would highly recommend looking up Sonic Inflation on google if you want to learn more.
April 2021

10 years since Dota 2 update

twitchquotes: 10 years since Dota 2 update. I walk through the e mpty streets trying to think of something else but  I always end up sitting here, in front of my comp uter. I stare at the screen for hours and try to s ummon Icefrog. I watch other games updating and ge tting new heroes but it is no good. I counter pick  Sniper to resist the meta, but it's all meaningle ss. The end is near. Then I look on the patch-upda te history and cry myself to sleep.
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

Kripp's chat is not raising enough dongers

twitchquotes: Dearest Kripparian, this is the Donger Police. We have inside information that states your chat has not been raising a sufficient amount of dongers. We are going to have to shut down your stream if you don't ask your chat to raise their dongers.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

CLOWN FIESTA

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜◯ ͡°) CLOWN FIESTA ( ͡° ͜◯ ͡°)
twitch chat
June 2015
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing