[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
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December 2018

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Team Rocket Prepare For Trouble in Japanese

twitchquotes: 尸尺乇尸卂尺乇 下口尺 δΈ…ε°Ίε£ε‡΅δΉƒδΉšδΉ‡! ε‚π ˜¨εˆ€ δ»Žε‚ι•ΏδΉ‡ ε·₯δΈ… εˆ€ε£ε‡΅δΉƒδΉšδΉ‡! 丅口 ε°Έε°Ίε£δΈ…δΉ‡εŒšδΈ… 丅卄乇 ε±±ε£ε°ΊδΉšεˆ€ δΈ‹ε°Ίε£δ»Ž εˆ€δΉ‡γƒͺ卂丂丅卂丅ε·₯口𠘨! 丅口 ε‡΅π ˜¨ε·₯δΈ…δΉ‡ ε‚δΉšδΉš ε°ΈδΉ‡ε£ε°ΈδΉšδΉ‡δΈ‚ ε±±ε·₯丅卄ε·₯𠘨 口凡尺 π ˜¨ε‚δΈ…ε·₯口𠘨! 丅口 εˆ€δΉ‡π ˜¨ε£ε‡΅π ˜¨εŒšδΉ‡ 丅卄乇 δΉ‡γƒͺε·₯δΉšδΈ‚ 口下 丅尺凡丅卄 ε‚π ˜¨εˆ€ 乚口γƒͺδΉ‡! 丅口 δΉ‡δΉ‚δΈ…δΉ‡π ˜¨εˆ€ 口凡尺 ε°ΊδΉ‡ε‚εŒšε„ 丅口 丅卄乇 丂丅卂尺丂 卂乃口γƒͺδΉ‡! 丁乇丂丂ε·₯δΉ‡! δΈε‚δ»ŽδΉ‡δΈ‚! δΈ…δΉ‡ε‚δ»Ž ε°Ίε£εŒšι•ΏδΉ‡δΈ… δΉƒδΉšε‚δΈ‚δΈ…δΈ‚ 口下下 卂丅 丅卄乇 δΈ‚ε°ΈδΉ‡δΉ‡εˆ€ 口下 乚ε·₯εŽΆε„δΈ…! δΈ‚ε‡΅ε°Ίε°ΊδΉ‡π ˜¨εˆ€δΉ‡ε°Ί 𠘨口山, 口尺 尸尺乇尸卂尺乇 丅口 δΈ‹ε·₯εŽΆε„δΈ…! δ»ŽδΉ‡ε£ε±±δΈ…ε„! 丅卄卂丅'δΈ‚ ε°Ίε·₯εŽΆε„δΈ…!
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August 2018

Pokemon Marathon 2018

Anime girl 2

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–„ β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€ β–β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–ˆβ–€β–Œβ–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–’β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘
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Weebs

time for u to stop using this copypasta

what time is it? 12 11 ^ 1 10 | 2 time for u 9 βŠ™β€”β€”β€”β€”> to stop 8 4 using this 7 5 copypasta 6
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Now let's say hypothetically I was the impostor. How would I get from reactor to medbay in that timespan, from which we saw each other, till you found yellow dead. Also if I were the impostor hypothetically speaking, how would I have finished all my tasks.
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Text-to-Speech Playing