[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kg7lwh/what_something_that_youve_done_while_horny_and/ggeg3bi
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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ascii art
November 2014

Zeus hates Kripp's casualness

twitchquotes: Hแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜, แด›สœษชs ษชs Zแด‡แดœs, Gแดแด… แดา“ OสŸสแดแด˜แดœs. I สœแด€แด แด‡ ส™แด‡แด‡ษด ษชษดา“แดส€แดแด‡แด… ส™ส แดส sแด‡ส€แด แด€ษดแด›s แด›สœแด€แด› สแดแดœ แด€ส€แด‡ แด…ษชsษขส€แด€แด„ษชษดษข แดส สœแดสŸส สŸแด€ษดแด… แดกษชแด›สœ สแดแดœส€ แด„แด€sแดœแด€สŸษดแด‡ss. Yแดแดœ สœแด€แด แด‡ two แดแดส€แด‡ แด…แด€สs แด›แด sแดœแดแดแดษด ส™แด€แด„แด‹ สแดแดœส€ สœแด€ส€แด…แด„แดส€แด‡ ส€แดแดแด›s แดส€ แด‡สŸsแด‡ I'แด ษขแดษชษดษข แด›แด แด€ษดษดษชสœษชสŸแด€แด›แด‡ สแดแดœส€ แด„แด€ษดแด€แด…ษชแด€ษด แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€ แดกษชแด›สœ แดส +25% แด…แดษข แด›แด สŸษชษขสœแด›ษดษชษดษข sแด‹ษชสŸสŸ.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Chat has just turned into a cesspool

twitchquotes: At this point in the night the chat has just turned into a cesspool. There is no point in trying to have a meaningful discussion with anyone, it's just copy pasta this PJ Salt that. And the worst part is no one in the chat knows how to play the game so they just give ass advice. If this gets copied I will leave.
twitch chat
August 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

Destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey

twitchquotes: As I have stated strongly before, and just to reiterate, if Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey (Iโ€™ve done before!). They must, with Europe and others, watch over the captured ISIS fighters and families. The U.S. has done far more than anyone could have ever expected, including the capture of 100% of the ISIS Caliphate. It is time now for others in the region, some of great wealth, to protect their own territory. THE USA IS GREAT!
twitch chat
October 2019

Trump wakes up with a scream and hugs his stuffed bear

twitchquotes: Trump wakes up with a scream and hugs his stuffed bear, "I just had the most awful dream, I was about to be tucked by Kibler!" Trump's bear replies, "That wasn't a dream." As Trump recoils in horror, Kibler smirks, "It seems I'm about to tuck Frump."
twitch chat
June 2015
Trump
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