[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

HELP MY DONGER IS ON FIRE

twitchquotes: ( ͡°̢ ̒ʖ͉ ͋°)̃ ͗H̟E͢L̓P͗ ͈M͙Y͕ ́D̿O͝NG̭E͋R̰ ͜I͝Ș ̏ON̡ ͨF̊I͂R͆E̓ ͠( ͡°̶ ͜ʖ̽ ͘°͗)͉
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Endgame spoilers

twitchquotes: I just saw endgame, and it was pretty good, but there were a few weird things. I thought it was strange how the Russo Brothers decided to render Thanos’ erect penis in such vivid detail. The veins were so perfectly done I couldn’t even tell his cock wasn’t real. Another thing I found weird was when Black Panther broke the fourth wall and gave the audience the n-word pass. I did appreciate it, but it would feel more in place in a Deadpool movie. Overall, it was still excellent, but I think that they definitely need to reconsider some things.
twitch chat
May 2019

Fake video play bar

twitchquotes: ▶ 🔘──────── 00:23
twitch chat
July 2016
Forsen

You call yourself rich?

twitchquotes: You call yourself rich? Bro, I'm a Tier 3 subscriber to all the famous Twitch streamers, I don't use Notepad, I use Photoshop. I have all of the Adobe products and I wear Louis Vuitton on a daily basis. I donate $5000 to Pokimane every stream, talk to me again when you're rich.
twitch chat
November 2020

Simps

I miss the old Tyler, SoloQ troll Tyler

twitchquotes: I miss the old Tyler, SoloQ troll Tyler. Not playing other ADCs Tyler, run it down mid Tyler. I hate the new Tyler, the never rude Tyler, family friendly streams Tyler, the too polite Tyler, meta slave Tyler, this is the worst Tyler. I miss the Toxic Tyler, Draven one trick Tyler, 420 burst Tyler. I gotta say, at that time I'd like to feed Tyler.
twitch chat
November 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing