[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp forgot about shredder placement

twitchquotes: Pupparrian scampers excitedly as Kripp carries the new bird cage. "Here you go, Birdarrian," says Kripp as he hangs the cage in the office. Unfortunately, Pupparian's joyful romping caused kripp to stumble, the cage bursting open and Birdarrian falling helplessly into the merciless jaws of the paper shredder sitting below the cage. "Oh no," gasps Kripp, "I forgot about shredder placement!"
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Helping us polish the in-game spectator feature

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie, this is Riot Games CEO Nicolo Laurent speaking. We want to thank you on behalf of the Valorant rage team for helping us polish the in-game spectator feature.
twitch chat
April 2020
imaqtpie

Valorant

Your kids and your brofisting

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian, Bobby Smith's mother here. I noticed more blood in Bobby's underwear doing his laundry this week. You kids and your brofisting!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Instagram Black Squares

twitchquotes: My fellow Americans, due to the overwhelming amount of Black squares teenage girls are posting on Instagram, the supreme court has decided end racism completely. We did not think you would go to such extreme measures but you have very much proved your point. The Military will be told to stand down just please stop. Thank you
twitch chat
June 2020

Please dont talk about melee in an ultimate chat ๐Ÿ˜ก

twitchquotes: honestly melee is dead, it has been since smash 4. Please dont talk about melee in a smash ultimate chat. ๐Ÿ˜ก
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing