[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T

twitchquotes: TriHard TriHard TriHard TriHard β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € TriHard β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € TriHard β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € TriHard β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € TriHard Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T.
twitch chat
February 2020

DONGERS initiative

twitchquotes: (β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ) Hello Kripparrian, this is Agent Saltson, from the Secret Hearthstone Information Education and Luck Division. I need to talk to you about the D.O.N.G.E.R.S Initiative. (β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ)
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hungrybox at a grocery store

I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, β€œOh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was β€œHuh?” but he kept cutting me off and going β€œhuh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like β€œSir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually β€œto prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and rested me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
January 2019
Hungrybox

Super Smash Bros

I hate taking shits

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting
April 2022

Lapras

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β”€β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β–“ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β”€β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β–’β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ
April 2017

Pokemon

Text-to-Speech Playing