[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Response to somebody correcting a grammar mistake

Give it up folks, einstein over here has something to say. What's that buddy? Wha- A grammatical error?!? WHAT?!? B... Bu... That can't be possible! Surely not! A GRAMMAR MISTAKE? IN MY SIGHT?!? What a great, absolute miracle that you and your 257 IQ Brain was here to correct it! Thank you! Have my grattitude, Actually, What's your cashapp? I'd like to give you 20$... Know what? While we're at it have the keys to my car. Actually, no, scratch that. Have the keys to my house, go watch my kids grow up and fuck my wife. Also, my Paypal username and password is: Ilikesmartazzes4 and 968386329. Go have fun. Thank you for your work.
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rraaiissee yyoouurr ddoonnggeerrss

twitchquotes: ヽヽ༼༼ຈຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ノノ rraaiissee yyoouurr ddoonnggeerrss ヽヽ༼༼ຈຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ノノ
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Kripp

Remittance-based Number Generation

twitchquotes: R-N-G Remittance-based Number Generation, was a phrased developed by Blizzard in 2013 Hearthstone Beta(2014 official release). The phrase describes Blizzard's sentiment off *** YOU PAY US MORE MONIES RIGHT *** NOW. If the player does not pay $4.50 average per week, ugly loss accruing algorithms are enabled.
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Silence the silenced watcher

twitchquotes: Silence the silenced watcher to counter the silence
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Blizzard has been working hard on Diablo Immortal

twitchquotes: This chat is so ungrateful. Blizzard has been working so hard crunching hours to develop a new Diablo game for their long-term fans, giving it an extra Blizzard polish and publishing it on the world's most popular gaming console, Mobile, to enable many of their fans to be able to play. Yet these same "fans" demand a "better" game. How can a game be "better", when a game is a game? smh beta nerds these days.
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November 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing