Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
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Copy and paste anything as long as there are clap emojis
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👏 YOU 👏 IDIOTS 👏 WILL 👏 PASTE 👏 ANYTHING 👏 AS 👏 LONG 👏 AS 👏 THERE 👏 ARE 👏 CLAP 👏 EMOJIS 👏
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Kripp saved my marriage
twitchquotes:
I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
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Kripp
Hearthstone
forsenStein
⡄⢿⣿⣿⠏⣼⣿⡇⣴⣿⡆⣿⢰⣿⢀⣾⡇⢀⣿⣿⠄⣠⣿⠄⣼⢟⣴⣿⣿⡇
⣿⣦⣛⡫⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣼⢯⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁
⠟⠟⡠⢤⣀⡀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⡀
⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣌⣱⢦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣹⠿⠿⣫⣿⠁
⣤⣤⣸⢟⣉⡙⢻⠦⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣯⣶⣆⣀⣠⣤⣄⣀⣈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴
⣿⣿⣬⡿⢦⣤⠿⡛⢤⠄⣿⣿⣣⣼⡿⠟⢁⡀⡀⠄⠉⠛⠿⠿⡆⣦⣽⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢉⣰⡟⣸⣿⢡⣯⣍⣉⢭⣍⡳⠤⠴⢆⣤⢀⣿⡭⠍⠟⡫⢙⡿
⣿⣿⣿⣥⣤⣾⣿⢏⣴⣿⣿⡎⣯⣽⣭⣻⣦⣩⣈⠭⠿⢻⠯⣊⣴⠭⣵⣿⣶⣶
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⠸⠿⣿⠏⣈⣭⣹⣯⣷⣟⣻⡽⣿⣾⣽⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣼⠟⠋⠁⠒⠻⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⢺⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⣛⣥⠄⠒⣒⣒⣒⠓⠒⠚⣻⣟⠲⣤⠄⢹⣮⣙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⡳⢭⡭⢿⣽⠛⠙⠧⢭⣤⡤⢽⣦⣿⣿⣷⡝⠛⠛⠉⠄⣰⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡿⣿⣿⣶⡍⠉⠋⠛⣛⣛⣛⣭⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣣⠄⢠⣶⣾⣿⡟
⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠉⠙⣛⣯⣾⣿⣶⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄
⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄
Forsen
Emote
My son got kicked out of school
twitchquotes:
My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
twitch chat
CSGO rage
The only reason, the only reason you’re all laughing is because you don’t understand that I also played in a team before and it’s actually proper CS and not the kind of shit you play. I’m not gonna play matchmaking with you all because you’re all fucking useless anyway. You know why you’re better than me? Do you know why? Shut the fuck up you cunts. Tell me the answer, come on you fucking retards, laugh all you want you fucking dumbasses, honestly, fuck this. You’re all having a laugh and I’m trying to play a game and actually do something and fucking win. Fuck my dick.