[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again

twitchquotes: Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again. You know, the god of thunder? Listen buddy, if you don’t log off this game immediately I will fly over to your house, and come down to that basement you’re hiding in and rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, that’s right, yea just go cry to your father you little weasel.
twitch chat
April 2019

Faceful Void

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June 2015

Dota 2

QTPie, this is your Mother Pie

twitchquotes: QTPie, this is your Mother Pie, I've been told you've been drinking alcohol in your TV show my son, please don't do this to the family. Is it that Pobelter boy making you do this?
twitch chat
August 2015
imaqtpie

Ebettle

twitchquotes: I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of e-betting website to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ebettle, the best betting website on the internet. Now available for children.
twitch chat
March 2015

sellout

Classic

Donald Trump

⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣰⣶⣽⣽⣷⣶⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣾⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠰⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⢿⡿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣷⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠈⢙⣿⡇⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣞⡏⠄⢸⡿⣿⣿ ⢀⠄⠄⢀⢸⢿⣿⣟⣷⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣐⣼⣿⣷⠄⣠⣴⣤⣤⣄⢉⡄⠄⠸⠇⣿⣿ ⣶⣇⣤⡎⠘⠁⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⡇⡶⣥⣴⣿⣿ ⢣⣛⡍⠸⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢈⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⢜⣿⣿⣿ ⠃⠋⠼⠥⠄⢠⠄⠐⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠋⠈⠟⣿⣿⡏⠄⢸⢸⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠠⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣦⣤⣀⣤⣤⡀⢨⠿⣇⠄⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣾⣾⡇⡀⠄⠄⢀⢢⣽⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⠿⠛⠛⠿⠛⠻⠜⡽⣸⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⠎⢡⡭⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠺⣿⣿⣷⣾⢿⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠳⢶⣿⣿⡿⢋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⢸⣿⡄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠽⣿⣷⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣠⣬⣏⠉⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⡟⠿⡿⢻⠛⠟⠿⠋⠁
December 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing