[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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I’ll be in Rania’s chat from now on

twitchquotes: If you need me, I’ll be in Rania’s chat from now on. You may not know this but I actually do watch her streams after yours are over. And I’ve been a 6 month subscriber as well... I donated her $30 the other day and said her outfit looked cute - she said I’m a sweetheart. Things are looking up for me (and down for you). This is where I bid farewell to you, have fun being a salty balding vegan.
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Simps

Anime girl excited

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠈⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠴⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠈⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢁⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣀⣿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⠀⠀⠐⢦⡀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣠⡾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⠟⠛⠋⢷⣄⠀⠀⠹⣦ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠯⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣷⣤⡀⠘ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠑⠢⣀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⣀⠄⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⡙⡳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆⠀⠃⢀⡴⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠱⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣾⡀⢐⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣴⡀⠁⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠈⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠳⡈⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⡿⠿⠽⠿⠿⣿⣷⣶⣌⡳⡀⠀⢹⣷⡄⠀⠀ ⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠑⢥⠀⠀⡾⠋⣰⡿⡟⠊⠀⠚⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠉⢹⠀⢳⠀⢸⣿⣿⡄⠀ ⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠈⠀⠈⠀⠰⢻⠋⠀⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠈⠀⠀⢃⢘⡏⢿⣿⡄ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠈⠣⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠋⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣼⡇⠈⢿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⣿⠀⠀⡨⠂⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠈⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⣐⠊⠀⠀⠀⢉⠶⠶⢂⠈⠙⠒⠂⠠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠸ ⠀⣀⠂⢣⡀⠀⠀⠘⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⠷⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡀⡙⠀⠈⢧⠀⠡⡀⢉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡫⣋⣥⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡗⠃⠐⠀⠈⣷⡀⢳⡄⠂⠀⠀⣸⣿⡛⠑⠛⢿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⡀⠂⡀⠀⣸⢱⡈⠇⠐⠄⡠⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡐⡀⠀⢠⠏⠀⢳⡘⡄⠈⠀⢿⡿⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣧⠐⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀⢳⡴⡀⠀⢸⣿⡄⠀⠉⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣷⡀⠀⠃⠙⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⠀⠱⣕⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠘⢦⡀⠀⠀⠈⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢄⠈⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿
May 2021

Weebs

KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAA u thru the keyboard

twitchquotes: listen up ok nobody even likes u the only reason i dont ddos u nto oblivion is cuz ur not even worth my bandwif u fkn fgt retard im srs if u say 1 more thing u wont even get to get out of ur seat cuz i wil KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAA u thru the keyboard n shoc ur fingers so bad u will say sry but its too late for that boyo
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Please help me my son is very sick

twitchquotes: forsen1 forsen2 please help me my son is very sick forsenStein forsen3 forsen4
twitch chat
November 2016
Forsen

Ninja's questionable tweet (wife brings me a sandwich, not asked for)

I am in the middle of carrying a league of legends game about to close it out, and my bra-less wife brings me a sandwich (not asked for) with chips as I get a double kill bot lane. So how is your day going?
May 2021
Ninja
Text-to-Speech Playing