[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
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Excited Homer Simpson

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠏⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣴⢶⣶⣿⣟⣶⣿⣭⠿⠦⠤⠽⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣿⢋⣠⣿⣿⡶⢻⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⠈⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠀⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢯⠋⠈⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠒⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠤⠤⠤⣀⠀⢀⡀⠤⠤⠤⣀⣱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⡖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠴⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⢀⡴⠋⠉⢹⡶⠶⢤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⢻⡜⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠶⠒⠒⠀⠐⣄⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⠟⠛⠓⠶⣏⠀⠀⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠷⠙⠲⠄⠀⡀⠠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡇⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡀⠀⠀⠈⢦⠞⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠧⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠖⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠈⠙⠦⣀⣠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠀⠈⢢⡀⠠⢾⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⢲⡶⡄⠀⢀⡶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀ ⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⡴⠀⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡷⢰⠃⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠ ⠙⢦⡀⠀⠈⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢦⣀⣠⠎⢀⣤⣾⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠳⢄⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⠀⣠⣴⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡰⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⠳⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⡖⠋⢀⡤⠾⠿⣏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⠇⠙⢿⠷⠖⠒⠛⠓⠒⠚⠛⠯⡉⠉⠀⠀⡷⠶⠯⡁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡌⠀⠀⠀⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠙⢆⠀⠀⡧⠂⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⠈⠣⡴⠉⠡⡀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠄⠀⢀⡴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢩⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣶⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣷⣄⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣎⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⡤⠴⠒⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

Can the mods ban us all?

twitchquotes: can :thinking: the :thinking: mods :thinking: ban :thinking: us :thinking: all :thinking:
twitch chat
January 2017

MODS

Classic

I sexually identify as a Minecraft creeper

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a Minecraft creeper. Ever since I was a child I dreamed of stalking people in the dead of the night, making an erotic hissing noise, and then spewing my particles all over them. People say to me that a person being a monster in a dying Swedish pixel game is impossible and I’m more autistic than a Fortnite default, but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a doctor fill me with gunpowder and implementing green and black pigments into my skin. From now on I want you guys to call me "Creepus Explodus” and respect my right to appear on retarded children's backpacks and sweaters. If you can’t accept me you’re a mob-phobe and need to check your entity privilege. Thank you all for being so understanding.
twitch chat
March 2019

I sexually Identify as

Tuck Frump into bed

twitchquotes: I would tuck frump into bed every night if I could
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

AYAYAYou

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣧⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣷⣌⡛⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡘⢿⡿⠃⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠢⣍⡛⢌⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢡⣾⡿⠭⠝⣛⠻⠿⢿⣷⣌⡻⣷⡄⡹ ⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣷⢸⣦⣙⠻⢿⣿⣿⠟⣠⡀⢡⣼⣿⣿⣦⣬⣷⣦⣤⣍⣛⠜⣿⡜ ⣿⣿⢣⣆⠻⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣶⣬⣁⣐⡻⠿⠄⠙⠿⠿⢟⣛⣛⣛⣋⣭⣍⢩⣤⣝ ⣿⡏⡼⢏⣀⠹⣿⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⢱⣴⣿⣿⣷⣌⡻⢌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⣻⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⢦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⠖⢁⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⡇⠿⠟⣋⣭⠭⣵⣾⣿⣶⡶⠾⠭⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⡿⣿⢿⢸⣿⣿ ⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⢘⣋⣍⣝⠊⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣶⣃⣾⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢈⣿⣿⠃⢸⣿⣿⢣⠋⠶⠶⢊⢹⡿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢾⣿⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣎⠻⠿⠛⢣⠃⠄⣠⣴⣶⣶⡆⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⢻⣿ ⢛⣓⠸⢟⣛⠘⣩⣶⣶⡌⡼⠋⣿⡸⡰⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣿⠿⠋⣀⣀⠄⣠⡜⣿ ⠈⠙⠂⠛⠿⠃⣩⣴⣶⣶⣦⣴⣿⣷⣱⣮⠭⠭⢔⣒⣩⡴⢚⣨⡜⣡⣾⣿⣷⠹
June 2021
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