[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Are you Reynad's dad?

twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

PepegaLicense

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⣿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠉⠉⢉⡉⠉⢉⣹⣿⣿⣿⠛⢿⣿⣿⡟⠛⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⣿⠃⠄⢀⣀⢴⡦⣟⣿⠽⣶⣶⣯⣿⠛⠁⣤⣾⡟⠉⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⡤⠋⢹⣦⢣⡭⢭⣬⣟⣺⣿⣿⣃⠄⣸⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⣾⡟⣦⢴⣿⠿⣿⠰⠈⢿⡏⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⠱⣶⣴⣒⣽⣮⣉⣲⡭⠚⢼⣫⣿⡟⢸⣿⡺⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⢠⡏⠈⠒⣩⠽⢛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣛⡛⠯⢽⣚⣾⣧⠇⣿⣿⣿⠆⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⢸⠁⠄⠄⠄⠰⠄⢀⣀⣲⣾⣿⣟⣉⣡⣴⢻⣿⣾⣽⠿⠋⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡇ ⢸⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄⠉⠐⠒⠒⠺⠶⠶⠾⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃ ⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⠈⡆ ⠈⠛⠿⡿⠿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠿⠿⢇⡀⠄⣀⠇ ⠄⠄⢸⠁⠄⢣⠄⠄⠄⢀⡏⠉⠉⡏⠉⠉⠉⡇⠄⠄⠄⢀⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠒⠒⠊⠄⠄⠄⠘⠣⠤⠤⠋⠄⠄⠄⠈⠒⠒⠒⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

One condition: let me touch the Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Kripparian, I see you have less viewers than your sexual partner, Reynad. I can guarantee you 5,000 viewers, bringing your count above his. There is but one condition - you must come to my home and let me touch the Kripparian. No copy pasterino dongerino kappacino.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Wikipedia donation request

To all our readers in the U.S., Please don't scroll past this. This Friday we humbly ask you to defend Wikipedia's future. 98% of our readers don't give; they simply look the other way. If you are an exceptional reader who has already donated, we sincerely thank you. If you donate just $2.75 today, Wikipedia could keep thriving in the long term. We ask you, humbly: please don’t scroll away. If Wikipedia has given you $2.75 worth of knowledge, take a minute to donate to the Wikimedia Endowment. Show the world that access to reliable, neutral information matters to you. Thank you.
January 2022
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