[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Call of Duty is the most realistic video game with the most advanced engine

Meanwhile in Call of Duty, true gamers laugh about Battlefield's primitive physics engine. Arma was an attempt by a failing Czech developer to make Call of Duty 'more realistic'. However due to the fact that Call of Duty was already as realistic as a video game can possibly be, they panicked. They made a shameless rip-off and slapped 'military simulator' on the front. True gamers are smart enough to know this, hence why Arma averages 67 on Metacritic, whereas Call of Duty averages 98-100. Call of Duty players laugh down at players of every other game, knowing they are Call of Duty rip-offs. Call of Duty is the most realistic video game with the most advanced engine. The world's leading video game scientists have confirmed this, so it isn't as much 'thinking' as it is 'knowing'. And Call of Duty can't possibly RIP those games off. Call of Duty was the first video game, so there wasn't anything for it to rip off.
August 2021

Call of Duty

regardless of your channel, you need to remove your Pepe emotes

idk who needs to hear this but regardless of your channel, you need to remove your Pepe emotes. It doesn’t matter what your intent is, the peepee frog causes harm and I will never feel comfortable in your stream with them present.
January 2022

LilZ

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–“β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–Œβ–“β–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–„β–„β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–€β–„β–‘ β–„β–€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–€β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–€β–’β–„β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–€β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–„β–Œβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

Half Steve Half Creeper

🏿🏿🏿🏿🟩🟩🟩🟩 🏿🏿🏿🏿🟩🟩🟩🟩 πŸΏπŸΌπŸΌπŸΌπŸŸ©β¬›β¬›πŸŸ© πŸΌπŸΌπŸΌπŸΌπŸŸ©β¬›β¬›πŸŸ© πŸΌβ¬œπŸŸ¦πŸΌβ¬›πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ© πŸΌπŸΌπŸΌπŸΎβ¬›β¬›πŸŸ©πŸŸ© πŸΌπŸΌπŸΎπŸ½β¬›β¬›πŸŸ©πŸŸ© πŸΌπŸΌπŸΎπŸΎπŸŸ©β¬›πŸŸ©πŸŸ©
January 2024

Minecraft

NFT's are racist

Well, believe me, it's crystal clear: NFT's are racist. You don't believe this, huh? Well, I'm going to explain it to you. First off, the name. The The Bored Ape Yacht Club wants you to believe that "NFT" stands for Non-fungible token. This name might be an accurate name for the images of apes that are sold, but it also stands for "n****r(s) for trade". This is absolutely not okay. NFT's have been fully covered on national news and they usual tell you that images of apes are being traded. What they don't tell you, is that those apes usually have big lips, golden chains and rings and contains an awful lot of stereotypes. NFT's use apes as a methaphor for the stereotypical black communty. This can be explained: NFT's were invented on 4chan. 4chan is the breedplace of 99% of evil on the internet. The /pol/ communty, already infamous for it's racism and anti-semitism. created NFT's because they want to insult black people. Using complex trading methods on specific websites on the internet and needing a fast connection to the world wide web they try to exclude as many black people (mainly the African continent). It even goes beyond that. Neo-Nazi artists, like Ben Garisson and StoneToss have recently used this way of trading to sell their art full of hate. They can do this because NFT's are completely anonymous. Republicans and right-wingers say they screenshot NFT's. This is not an harmless joke, they try to demonstrate how 'worthless' NFT's (abbreviation for: N****r(s) for Trade) are. Stop NFT's. Make a hashtag and cancel 'em. Cut off people that trade NFT's. Stop racism.
January 2022

NFTs

Cryptocurrency

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