[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kg7lwh/what_something_that_youve_done_while_horny_and/ggeg3bi
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2 wins 3 losses in promo placements PepeLaugh

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Never raise a child who likes Jake and Logan Paul

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Taking my QT's Jhin shots for a walk

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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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Creepy Spongebob

โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ”ˆโ•ฑโ•ญโ–โ•ฎโ•ญโ”ปโ”ปโ•ฎโ•ญโ”ปโ”ปโ•ฎโ•ญโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ•ฎโ•ฐโ–โ•ฏโ”ƒโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ”ƒโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ•ฐโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ•ฏโ”ˆโ–โ”ˆโ”—โ”ปโ”ปโ”›โ”—โ”ปโ”ปโ”ปโ•ฎโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ•ญโ•ฎโ–โ•ฎโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”โ”โ”โ”โ•ฏโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ•ฐโ•ฏโ–โ•ฏโ•ฐโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ•ฏโ•ญโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ”ˆโ•ญโ–โ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒโ”ˆโ•ฐโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ”ˆโ•ฐโ–โ•ฐโ•ฏโ•ฐโ”โ”โ”โ”โ•ฏโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „
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December 2019
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