[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Leifman talk the mumble automatically go to awkward

twitchquotes: οΌ·ο½ˆο½…ο½Ž ο½Œο½…ο½‰ο½†ο½ο½ο½Ž ο½”ο½ο½Œο½‹ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½ο½•ο½ο½‚ο½Œο½… ο½ο½•ο½”ο½ο½ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½Œο½™ go to ο½ο½—ο½‹ο½—ο½ο½’ο½„οΌŽ οΌ¬ο½…ο½‰ο½†ο½ο½ο½Ž get rekt by ο½”ο½ˆο½… kripp ο½ο½Žο½„ ο½†ο½…ο½…ο½Œ at ο½ο½Žο½… ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½ƒο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ο½…οΌŽ all ο½‚ο½…ο½ƒο½ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ ο½•ο½Žο½ο½ο½„ ο½Œο½…ο½‰ο½†ο½ο½ο½Ž
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

In the name of Renly of House Baratheon

twitchquotes: βˆ©ΰΌΌΛ΅β˜―β€Ώβ˜―Λ΅ΰΌ½γ€Β€=[]:::::> In the name of Renly of House Baratheon, First of his name, rightful King of the Andals and the First Men. Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm. I, Kripp of SoloMid, sentence you to die.<====]-oΒ―\_ΰΌΌβ˜―β€Ώβ˜―βœΏΰΌ½οΎ‰
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

We should buy Reddit

We should buy Reddit. Not the stock. The actual company. If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website. We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make. I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners: Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization. Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart" NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW. Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet. Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern. We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod. Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's. I think this is a great idea. Keep it high and tight. πŸ‘–πŸš€πŸ‘–πŸš€πŸ‘–πŸš€
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Reddit

Epik skill-capped MEMER LORD

twitchquotes: Yo QT, it's me... Scarra... I know what we said before and I hope we can just put it behind us... We need an Epik skill-capped MEMER LORD to come carry us. Peng Yalang just isn't doing it for us anymore.... FailFish
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Why are you rank 9?

twitchquotes: β”Œ| β—” β–ƒ β—” |┐ UH KRIPP..... why are you rank 9? β”Œ| β—” β–ƒ β—” |┐
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing