Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Boobs
Six foot antlers
twitchquotes:
I bet all you beta f*gs don't wear antlers either. Science has shown that the male deers with the largest antlers attract the most females, so obviously the exact same principle works for human females. When I walk into the club reeking of sweat with six foot antlers strapped to my head, I get the attention of every female in the room. Pretty much ever man too, that's how powerful the effect is.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hungrybox is in need of a MAJOR comeback!
twitchquotes:
Hungrybox is in need of a MAJOR comeback! I got you, son! Mom? hit noises ding Yes! Amazing! A surprise save from Hungrybox’s….mother? Your moves were a little bit off son, you must be hungry. Fuel up on Campbell’s® Chunky® Soup. Thanks Mom. Now, let’s smash this noob!
twitch chat
Hungrybox
Cute gamer girl
twitchquotes:
Thijs I am a 22 year old gamer girl in search of a gamer man. I have been watching your stream for years and really like your deck. If you want to give a cute gamer girl like me a chance whisper me. 
HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
Thijs
Hearthstone
Tanner from High School
Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex!
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex! I just wanted to let you know that some more of my fur fell out today. Maybe it's that "vegan" diet you've been putting me on? Anyways, I love you, and wish you would stop playing that card game all the time and talk to me and Rania sometimes. Sorry, that's a lot to ask, I know you need money to buy us more "kale" or whatever. Anyways, good luck on your "Heart Stone"!
Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex! I just wanted to let you know that some more of my fur fell out today. Maybe it's that "vegan" diet you've been putting me on? Anyways, I love you, and wish you would stop playing that card game all the time and talk to me and Rania sometimes. Sorry, that's a lot to ask, I know you need money to buy us more "kale" or whatever. Anyways, good luck on your "Heart Stone"!
twitch chat
Kripp