[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Don't use the "F word" on the trade floor

Just heard an employee use the “F word” on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but don’t you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

AMOGUS (youtube video) v2

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November 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

His name is NINJA, a super small time streamer

twitchquotes: can I promote my friends Mixer stream in here? His name is NINJA and he is a super small time streamer, he just left twitch and could really use all the help he can get. I just want to like his stream a couple times bro, nothing serious bro I just don't want him to go hungry bro. He's going back to his roots and I really want to help him out bro
twitch chat
August 2019

Forg

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠤⠴⠶⠶⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡴⠛⡶⠦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠴⢊⠕⠊⠉⠉⠉⠢⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⣔⣚⣣⡀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠴⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠻⣟⣋⣙⠻⠥⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠖⠛⠉⠀⢀⡔⠋⠉⡤⠤⠔⠒⠒⠒⠐⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠒⠲⠤⠤⠤⠤⠔⡲⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⠦⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⠁⠀⢀⣠⠤⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡘⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠤⠭⣲⡦⡴⢾⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⣙⣄⣀⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⣿⡼⠲⠽⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠰⡇⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣯⢬⠱⣟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠓⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠃⠀⣳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠸⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠻⠯⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⠾⠿⠭⠭⠴⠦⠤⠤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠓⠲⠶⢦⣄⠀⢠⣀⠚⢶⠺⠿⠶⠳⠶⠶⠶⠦⠦⠤⠴⠶⠶⠒⠋⠁⠉⠉⠙⠒⠒⠒⠲⠖⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⣈⣿⠛⠶⠷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

NA Test IF YOU TOUCH THE DORITOS

twitchquotes: [NA TEST] DoritosChip IF YOU TOUCH THE DORITOS U ARE FAT PogChamp
twitch chat
March 2017

Chat Test

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