[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Mew

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January 2022

Pokemon

Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny?

Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the 💀 emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? But Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the 💀 emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? But Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the 💀 emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch.
October 2021

I forgor

Booba

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢂⡉⠐⠀⢂⡁⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠐⠊⠩⠄⢒⡂⠠⠤⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡠⠂⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠂⠤⡈⠀⠂⢄⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣱⡄⠀⠈⣦ ⠀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿ ⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠇⠀⠸⠋ ⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠠⠎⠒⠈⠀ ⢀⠀⠀⡀⠄⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠠⠄⠐⠀⠁⠀⢄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⢔⣬⣭⣁⠤⠤⠤⠀⠐⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡧⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⣯⣿⢶⡶⣦⣴⣤⣤⣀⢠⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⣴⡛⠁⠀⠀ ⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⢿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣯⣭⣿⣿⣻⣟⣯⣽⡿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠁⠙⠋⠻⠿⠿⠿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⠀⠀⠈⠐⠠⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠐⣂⣤⣤⣤⣄⣠⣔⣀⣤⣤⣤⣔⠁⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀
December 2020

Pepe

Hafu likes money a lot

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Hello! My name is Hafu! (◡‿◡✿) My boyfriend just broke up with me! He said he doesn't like looking at my beef curtains and my chest is too flat. (◕‿-) But it's okay! I will sob uncontrollably on stream. My viewers will feel sorry for me and give me lots of money. I like money a lot. (。♥‿♥。)
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Kripp saved my marriage

twitchquotes: I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
twitch chat
November 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

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