[Copypasta] Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
June 2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9hssN3dCZw
I used to be a real ad
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HOW TO GET SPAGHETTI OUT OF NINTENDO SWITCH urgent !!!!!

hi guys long story short i tried asking my friends and everything and nobody is helping i got mad at smash bros so out of anger i threw a bowl of spaghetti on my dock and i think a noodle got stuck in the top because it got pushed in and so i came here because everybody else is ignoring me so i thought maybe somebody out there that did the same thing has some advice please help my last resort is having to send this to nintendo because that cost money and is scary to mail it out
June 2021

Riot disables LOLalerter

twitchquotes: Mr Sanatana, This is Riot, we found out that you have released many of these so called "Dank memes" into our chat so we are disabling LOLalerter for you untill you grow up into an Adulterino and stop trollerino
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Forsen's face

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⢡⣾⣻⣿⣿⣿⡅⠈⢾⢧⣫⠄⣡⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠸⣿⠏⢿⠋⢱⠄⠐⡏⡞⠣⠻⣿⢣⢛⡄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⣔⢯⣅⠉⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠁⠄⢛⣡⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣠⠿⠦⠿⠉⢀⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠈⢻⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⢇⡴⠂⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⣈⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠇⠝⠃⣴⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠸⠄⡀⣼⡿⠋⣠⣤⣄⣀⣈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⢀⣀⣠⣤⣉⠁⠈⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣇⢰⢳⣿⣥⣾⡿⠛⢛⣛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣛⡻⢿⣷⣄⢷⠄⠄⠄ ⠐⣇⡾⣾⣿⣿⣿⠰⠟⠭⠹⢷⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠴⠟⠍⢹⠆⣻⣿⣼⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠸⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⠻⢭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣛⣛⣛⠻⠿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⠟⣩⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣏⣉⣉⣿⣿⣁⣨⣿⣟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠈⠛⠛⢿⡟⠓⠄⠉⠙⠓⠮⣽⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣭⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠺⣧⣄⡀⢯⣩⡅⣶⣒⣤⣩⡍⣽⡠⠂⣼⡀⣸⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠄⡇⠄⠄⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣤⣾⡿⠄⢻
ascii art
September 2019
Forsen

It was a real life gamer girl

So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my dick out. “fuck, Fuck!” I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. “Please,” I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own cum, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?
August 2021

Simps

Classic

I once had sleep paralysis

twitchquotes: i once had sleep paralysis and i imagined Kripparian slowly slithering up to me and i felt the brush of his wirey beard press against my chest and his boulder-like face was a miillimeter away from mine and he whispered "..He had the perfect cerds" then drained all my RNG power right out of my chest. I cried for days.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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