[Copypasta] Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.

July 2021

Classic

Ameng meets Bumper in a hallway

twitchquotes: Bumper broke into a cold sweat. There he was across the hallway, a man whose name that brought chills down his spine. Bumper looked down, hoping to avoid direct eye contact. "A-ameng," Bumper stuttered. "What up, virgin" Ameng boomed. Bumper braced himself but it was too late. Ameng's 5000 tonne shoulder slammed into his, the movement causing air waves across the room. Bumper flew back and the concrete wall chipped around him. His shoulder was definitely broken. "Later, nerd." Ameng chuckled.

twitch chat

March 2019

OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. It’s a 🏳️‍🌈🐻 legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflation… He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… transitory. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.

May 2022

WallStreetBets

Professor Utonium

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ascii art

September 2021

IF YOU TOUCH THE BUG, PROGRAM HEARTHSTONE

twitchquotes: BUG TEST 🐛 IF YOU TOUCH THE BUG, PROGRAM HEARTHSTONE ⎝ Jebaited

twitch chat

June 2017

[Copypasta] Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

Classic

Ameng meets Bumper in a hallway

Overwatch

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

WallStreetBets

Professor Utonium

IF YOU TOUCH THE BUG, PROGRAM HEARTHSTONE

Hearthstone

Chat Test

[Copypasta] Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

Classic

Ameng meets Bumper in a hallway

Overwatch

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

WallStreetBets

Professor Utonium

IF YOU TOUCH THE BUG, PROGRAM HEARTHSTONE

Hearthstone

Chat Test

Confirm Subscription