[Copypasta] Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
June 2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9hssN3dCZw
I used to be a real ad
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Dongerino goes all bongerino didgeridoo over my keyboard

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｇｉｖｅｓ ｍｅ ｔｈｅ ｓｔａｒｅ， ｍｙ ｄｏｎｇｅｒｉｎｏ ｇｏｅｓ ａｌｌ ｂｏｎｇｅｒｉｎｏ ｄｉｄｇｅｒｉｄｏｏ ｏｖｅｒ ｍｙ ｋｅｙｂｏａｒｄ．
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Cattarrian is Rania's last Boyfriend

twitchquotes: Hᴇʏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, Cᴀᴛᴛᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ ʜᴇʀᴇ. I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴍʏ ᴄᴏɴsᴛᴀɴᴛ Mᴇᴏᴡᴇʀɪɴᴏ ɪs ᴀɴɴᴏʏɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ, ʙᴜᴛ I ᴀᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀʀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Sᴜᴄᴄᴜʙᴜs. Yᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ, I ᴀᴍ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʜᴇʀ ʟᴀsᴛ BF ᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀ Cᴀᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴜsɪɴɢ Bʟᴀᴄᴋ Mᴀɢɪᴄ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏɴᴜᴛs. Iᴛ's ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴀᴛᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ sᴛɪʟʟ sᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ. Rᴜɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ʀᴜɴ!!!
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

CHAT IS DEVELOPMENTALLY DISABLED

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ CHAT IS DEVELOPMENTALLY DISABLED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Anime girl 15

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣀⠸⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢡⣿⣿⣿⡇⠝⠋⠀⠀⠀⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢸⠸⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠊⣽⣿⣿⣿⠁⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⡏⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠾⣿⣟⡻⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⠋⣿⡿⠚⠋⠁⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⡄⠀⣳⡶⡦⡀⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⡇⡿⠉⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠽⢲⠇⠣⠐⠚⢻⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡐⣾⡏⣷⠀⠀⣼⣷⡧⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⠳⣿⣇⢈⣿⠟⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣼⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣝⣿⣦⡑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣷⣿⣿⠃⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⣤⣾⣿⣿⡿⠻⡏⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡴⣫⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣿⣟⢦⡸⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡰⠋⣴⣿⣟⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠁⠸⣿⢻⣦⠉⢆⠀⠀ ⢠⠇⡔⣿⠏⠏⠙⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣜⣛⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⠹⣷⡈⡄⠀ ⠀⡸⣴⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⠀⢻⡿⡇⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⣰⠿⠤⠒⡛⢹⣿⠄ ⠀⣿⣷⡆⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⠀ ⠀⠈⠿⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⢞⠌⡹⠁⠀⠀⢻⡇⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢳⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠂⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⡇⠁⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠛⠛⠛⠀⢸⠀⠀⡀⠂⠀⠀⠐⠛⠉⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠕⣠⡄⣰⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⠠⡪⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢫⣽⡋⠭⠶⠮⢽⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣓⣽⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣶⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
February 2021

Weebs

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

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