[Copypasta] Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup. I don't appreciate the excessive amount of brofisting you've been doing to my son's rectum. When he sleeps at night all he can dream about is you welcoming him to the "5 dolla club" as you tear his anus apart and cause it to profusely bleed with your fist and it's all your fault that he's so butthurt!

twitch chat

November 2014

Kripp

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a trollface cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing a trollface mask and black morph suit. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as your mother (after I have sexual intercourse with her) and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made me feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my morph suit. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Cover yourself in oil." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "You mad bro?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "We do a little trolling!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'm still Trollface."

September 2021

NSFW

Crewmate Amogus Ghost

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠞⠛⠛⠛⠛⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⡷⠶⠒⠒⠒⠶⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢻⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡄⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⣿⠛⠛⢻⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢹⡷⠶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⣤⡴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠶⢤⣤⣤⠶⢾⡿ ⠀⠀⠸⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡾⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠶⠶⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡶⠞⠛⠒⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⠶⠴⠶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.

April 2021

When Tim Hortons... all becoming Canada

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎｔｉｍｈｏｒｔｏｎｓ，ｍｙ　ｈａｎｄ　ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙｇｏｔｏｔｈｅｍａｐｌｅｇｌａzｅｄ．ｉｄｉｐｔｈｅｄｏｕｇｈｎｕｔｅｒｉｎｏｓ　ａｎｄ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｓｅｘ　ｗｉｔｈｔｈｅｈｏｃｋｅｙ，ａｌｌｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇｃａｎａｄａ　ｅｈ? 　ｓｏｒｒｙ

twitch chat

September 2014

Kripp

[Copypasta] Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a trollface cosplay

NSFW

Crewmate Amogus Ghost

Among Us / Amogus

I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said

When Tim Hortons... all becoming Canada

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