[Copypasta] Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
June 2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9hssN3dCZw
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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This is my son Nestor

twitchquotes: For all those wondering, this is my son Nestor. We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida. I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life.
twitch chat
June 2020

MrDestructoid

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣷⣷⣿⣶⣶⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠐⠄⠄⠄⠉⢉⣉⠉⠛⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⠛⣛⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣿⡷⠄⠄⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠿⡷⠄⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠫⠄⠠⠄⠄⢠⡀⠄⠈⣡⣷⣇⣛⣻⣿⣦⠄⠄⠉⣱⣷⠤⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⠄⢰⣶⠄⢸⣿⢹⡿⢿⡿⢿⡿⢿⡿⢿⡿⢿⣿⢻⣿⡷⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠁⢸⣇⣸⣇⣸⣇⣸⣇⣸⣇⣸⣿⠈⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
March 2021

Survival Arena Developer messages Kripp

twitchquotes: (Survival Arena™ Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to wear your Survival Arena shirt and don't forget our little 'arrangement' later tonight at the motel.
twitch chat
May 2017

sellout

Hello Kripp, this is Optimus Prime

twitchquotes: Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ Ｏｐｔｉｍｕｓ Ｐｒｉｍｅ ｒｅｓｐｏｎｄｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｙｏｕｒ ｅｎｃｏｄｅｄ ｍｅｓｓａｇｅ． Ｗｅ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔ ｉｎｔｅｒｅｓｔｅｄ ｉｎ ｐｏｕｒｉｎｇ ｏｕｒ ｓｅｌｆ ｉｎ ＯＪ ｗｈｉｌｅ Ｔｏｐｄｅｃｋｉｎｇ Ｄｏｎｇｅｒｓ． Ｐｌｅａｓｅ ｂｅ ａｄｖｉｓｅ ｔｈａｔ ａｎｙｍｏｒｅ ｂｅｅｐｉｎｇ ｗｉｌｌ ｌｅａｖｅ ｍｅ ｎｏ ｃｈｏｉｃｅ ｂｕｔ ｔｏ ｐｅｐｐｅｒｏｎｉ ｔｈｅ Ｎａｚｉ ｍｏｄｓ．
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Professional headmeat physician

twitchquotes: ce: Hello Tyler, this is Dhanraj Ameer, the professional headmeat physician, thank you for contacting me last week. My team and I have been looking at x-rays of your skull and we are interested in a procedure that involves taking the head meat from the sides of your head and using it to fill in the dent in the middle. Due to the severity of your head meat slabs this procedure only has a 10% likelihood of success due to the extreme invasiveness the slab removal will take. Let me know
twitch chat
July 2019
Tyler1
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