[Copypasta] Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
June 2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9hssN3dCZw
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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President's Day Emoji Pasta

ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธtime to hop onto that founding father dick๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿปor should i say founding DADDIES!!!๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ out here tryna get rammed from behind ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘harder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMOREโ˜„๏ธโ˜„๏ธโ›ฐ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”george washington mightve been able to survive the harsh โ„๏ธโ„๏ธ๐ŸŒฌwinters๐ŸŒฌโ„๏ธโ„๏ธ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheets๐ŸŒช๐Ÿ’‘โ“โ“โ“be the monica Lewinsky ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปto my bill clinton๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ baby and i wont deny i had ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†โ™‹๏ธsexual relationsโ™‹๏ธ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ† with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programs๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธโœ๐Ÿปsend this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSES๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผwho will throw the nastiest neck๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐ŸŒฌ๐Ÿ’ฆ on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAY๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿšจโค๏ธ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonight๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ
February 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

President's Day

Dude I own this NFT

Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think you can get away with theft when you're showing what you stole directly to my face. My lawyers will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you.
November 2021

NFTs

Cryptocurrency

My husband is the moderator for a few different subreddits, and he genuinely thinks itโ€™s a job

my husband refuses to look for a job even though I think it would be good for him (And we could use the additional income), but he just says heโ€™s, โ€œgot too much on his plate alreadyโ€. That being monitoring these stupid subreddits. And Everytime I bring it up he claims what heโ€™s doing is unpaid labor similar to that of a homemaker. But he doesnโ€™t clean or cook or do any of that the way he used to. He just monitors his stupid subreddits. I donโ€™t know what to do. Sometimes I want to leave him because I believe I may not be able to reach him.
November 2021

Reddit

MODS

So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump

twitchquotes: So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump... which was pretty cool. I was wondering why he was in the "woman's hygeine" section of the store.... He caught on to what I was thinking and held up some tampons. "For my girlfriend", he said, giggling nervously. But he doesn't have a GF. I think they were for HIM!
twitch chat
October 2014
Trump

Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, Iโ€™m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasnโ€™t fapping I swear to god I just randomlyโ€ฆ.. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
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