[Copypasta] Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
June 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I've been depressed and suicidal because of my mom's onlyfans

I'm 13 and and my mom is 33. Things at the school were never great. I'm sorta short so i get picked on some but it was manageable. That was, until one of my classmates showed me a picture of my mom naked. I almost had a panic attack and had to be excused from the classroom. I ended up not showing up to school for a few days (faking sick). I was hoping that things would cool off but they didn't. As soon as I got to school almost everyone was staring and laughing at me. This has been going on for about a week now. I was wondering how my classmates even got the pictures and apparently my mom advertises her onlyfans on her personal Twitter account. Some students from the school follow her and were able to see the nudes and they have been spread everywhere. I don't even have a Twitter so I didn't know about any of this. The worst part is when I confronted my mom about this she told me that I was overreacting and that sex work is basically the same as working at a bank or a grocery store. She also said it makes her feel good about herself and that I should be happy that she's more confident now. I told the principal but they can't suspend thousands of students or take anyone's phones. I've been crying in my room everyday for the past week. I don't think I can take it anymore.
July 2021

I want to smash

twitchquotes: I want to smash. No, not sex, not even in a physical way. I want to sit down and play Super Smash Bros. Ultimate while laughing and having a good time. I want to play 1v1โ€™s. I want to play on your team against lvl. 3 CPUโ€™s. You can be Kirby. I can play Jigglypuff. No items.
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

Not your naked body

I'm already Tracer

twitchquotes: โ“ Maybe Iโ€™ll be Tracer ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ โ— Iโ€™m already Tracer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ โ” What about Widowmaker ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธ โ• Iโ€™m already Widowmaker ๐Ÿ•ธ๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ’ฏIโ€™ll be Bastion ๐Ÿค– ๐Ÿšซ Nอ˜อžEอžอ Rฬทอ˜FอŸ อžอ BASอžฬขTฬงอขIOฬขNอŸา‰า‰ โšฐ๏ธ ๐Ÿคท Youโ€™re right; so, Winston ๐Ÿต๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ ๐ŸŒ I wanna be Winston ๐Ÿฆ ๐Ÿ—ก๏ธ I guess Iโ€™ll be Genji ๐Ÿฑโ€๐Ÿ‘ค ๐Ÿ˜ Iโ€™m already Genji ๐Ÿ‘ค ๐Ÿ’€ Then Iโ€™ll be McCree ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ซ I already chose McCree ๐Ÿ•›โ˜ ๏ธ โœ‹ I have an idea ๐Ÿ™‹ โ“ Whatโ€™s your idea? ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿ™Œ You should beโ€” ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿฆถ ๐Ÿ™… Iโ€™m not gonna be Mercy โ€ผ๏ธโœจ
twitch chat
November 2018

Emoji Pasta

Overwatch

SPAM THIS COKE TO MAKE DYNASTY CHOKE

twitchquotes: SPAM DrinkPurple THIS DrinkPurple COKE DrinkPurple TO DrinkPurple MAKE DrinkPurple DYNASTY DrinkPurple CHOKE DrinkPurple
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Are you ready for my demolisher?

twitchquotes: Reynad moaned softly as Hyp3d pressed up against him. "Are you ready for my demolisher?" quipped Hyp3d. Reynad gave a short gasp "B-But it's too early, you donโ€™t have enough mana!" Hyp3d shyly replies, "I've got a Coin-dom right here."
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing