[Copypasta] Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
June 2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9hssN3dCZw
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Ban Hammer

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣴⣶⣌⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢃⣴⣿⣇⡙⢿⣷⣄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣴⣿⣿⣄⠨⣍⡀⠙⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢉⣴⣿⣿⡈⣉⠛⢷⣌⣻⣿⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢃⣴⠿⢋⣉⠻⢧⡈⢴⣦⣾⠟⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡘⢿⣷⣌⠁⣶⢌⣿⣾⠟⢡⣶⣌⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣦⠙⢿⣷⣤⣾⠟⣡⣶⣦⠙⢿⣷⣌⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⣉⣉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡙⢿⣷⣄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡙⢿⣷⣌⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠙⢿⣷⣌⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡙⢁⣴⣦⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠛⢋⣴
ascii art
December 2019

Don Han'Cho tells Kripp to disenchant his collection

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp its Don Han'Cho SMOrc SMOrc from da grimy goons. I got a job for yah. I know about a warehouse holding thousands of pounds of arcane dust. I got a tip that this place is called "collecteen manajaire" sounds french or somethin I don know. Anyways what I want you to do is da sneak in to dis place and look for a button called "deez ench ant". You whack dat and da goons will take care of da rest. You game?
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021

Flame imp is a bad card

twitchquotes: Wow. Wanna know how I know that this guy doesn't know what he is doing? He plays Flame Imp, a card that does 3 damage to the guy that plays it. Clearly he doesn't understand that if you run out of health you lose.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Copypasta jokes are not funny

twitchquotes: Copypasta jokes are not funny. It’s annoying and incredibly irritating to me when I say something in chat because I would enjoy actual responses and I instead get my own words thrown back at me. Please don't just copy my messages and be original! Thank you!
twitch chat
September 2019
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