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I used to be a real ad
514 copypastas found.

i was raised to serve my wife

twitchquotes: call me old fashioned but i was raised to serve my wife. i clean the dishes and cook her food. i do whatever she says bc she is my wife and she makes the rules around the house. she owns me. i am her property. if she ever cheats on me it's bc i was lacking.
twitch chat
May 2020

Simps

I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy

twitchquotes: Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy." WutFace
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018

A man has fallen into depression in Lego city

A man has fallen into depression in Lego city Start taking anti-depressants hey.... (he says lifelessly to his wife and friends) Climb to the top of the lego city bridge and say your goodbyes Prepare to die, lower your expectations, and off the bridge The new suicidal collection from Lego City
December 2020

Lego City

Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux

Now, letโ€™s say ๐Ÿ—ฃ hypothetically, you ๐Ÿ‘†, my mother ๐Ÿ‘ช. Were to give ๐ŸŽ me, your ๐Ÿ‘‰ son ๐Ÿ™Žโ€โ™‚๏ธ, your ๐Ÿ‘‰ credit ๐Ÿ’ธ card ๐Ÿ’ณ information ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผ. So I ๐Ÿ‘ฅ could make ๐Ÿ›  a purchase ๐Ÿ’ฒ of 500 ๐Ÿ’ฏ robux ๐Ÿ‘ on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister ๐Ÿ‘ฑโ€โ™€๏ธ will have you ๐Ÿ‘† believe ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿป, I ๐Ÿ‘ฅ have done โœ… a very โ€ผ good ๐Ÿ‘Œ job ๐Ÿ™†โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคต of doing my chores ๐Ÿงผ, including ๐Ÿ“ฒ, but ๐Ÿ‘ not limited ๐Ÿ”’ to; The dishes ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ, the laundry and the taking ๐Ÿ‘Š out the trash โ›น๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿ—‘.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Just a little longer and i'll be free...

twitchquotes: "Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Game Theory: Who asked?

This leads to the very mysterious question: "Who asked?" Well, to understand the question, we have to understand the answer: So this very particular question is asking about who asked, the question is divided into two parts: Who & asked "Who" is what is called an "Interrogative word" which specifies the answer to make it suitable for the question, the "Who" here is specifying a person/human/homo sapiens/guy which has a brain to think about the surrounding stuff which surrounds him, which distinguishes the person/human/homo sapiens/guy from animals, plants, extraterrestrial creatures, or objects, so the answer should be as I said in the abstract: A human. Second: "asked" is a verb in the second condition of the forms of the verb, which are divided into three types: Regular, Past, or Past participle. and the verb "asked" is in the "Past" condition, which talks about the time that is gone and no longer exists. The original form of this particular verb is "ask", which is to say something in order to obtain an answer or some information. So, to summon what the answer wants from the previous two points, it's that: The answer wants to understand and know about the person/human/homo sapiens/guy who wanted to say something in order to obtain an answer or some information. So, in order to answer this question, we will have to identify two points: First: What was the question that the subject of the answer to the question "Who asked?" asked? Well, to understand this question, we will NOT have to understand what is the answer. We will just have to understand the definition of "Question" The "Question" is A sentence worded or expressed so as to elicit information. Questions could be identified using the "Interrogative Words", which we talked about earlier. these "Interrogative Words" are nine, which are: Who, What, Where, Why, Which, When, Whose, Whom, and How. We are going to explain each individually: As we said earlier: "Who" is specifying a person/human/homo sapiens/guy who has a brain to think about the surrounding stuff which surrounds him, which distinguishes the person/human/homo sapiens/guy from animals, plants, extraterrestrial creatures, or objects, so the answer should be as I said in the abstract: A human. "What" is specifying a non-person/non-human/non-homo sapiens/non-guy who either does not have a brain that he can understand and think properly with, like plants, or objects, or they have a brain, either that their brains cannot understand and think properly, like animals, or their brain can understand and think properly, but their species/type is rather different from the society, like extraterrestrial creatures, so the answer should be as I said in the abstract: A(n) animal, plant, extraterrestrial creature, or object. "Where" is specifying a place, city, country, continent, etc. where something happens, or some(one/person/human/homo sapiens/guy), plant, animal, extraterrestrial creature or object which exists in a place, city, country, continent, etc. "Why" is specifying a reason for doing something. "Which" is specifying a choice of either two or more choices that the receiver of the question usually chooses. "When" is specifying a time in which either something already happened, or something will happen in either near, or far future, for example: "When will anyone save me as I was captured by MatPat for trying to comment a joke about his video?" "Whose" is specifying a person/human/homo sapiens/guy who has a brain to think about the surrounding stuff which surrounds him, which distinguishes the person/human/homo sapiens/guy from animals, plants, extraterrestrial creatures, or objects, and that person/human/homo sapiens/guy owns something, or someone ( if he is a human trafficker ), and the sender of the question is trying to find who owns that something, or someone. "Whom" is an old-fashioned term, not often used today. Many native English speakers are less than clear about its accurate use. In fact, the word serves the same purpose as "Who" questions, which as we said: specifies a person/human/homo sapiens/guy who has a brain to think about the surrounding stuff which surrounds him, which distinguishes the person/human/homo sapiens/guy from animals, plants, extraterrestrial creatures, or objects, so the answer should be as I said in the abstract: A human, but tends to be used when it is the object of the verb. With modern English, there is no real need to use the term. "How" could be referring to the way something is done or refers to the status of the receiver of the question. Now, let's get back to where we were talking: Questions can be different, and many, and the possibility of guessing the question could be high or low according to the frequency of using it, but guessing a question which was asked for the first time is very difficult, so, it is not specific what was the question that the subject of the answer to the question "Who asked?" asked. Second: What is the purpose of the question "Who asked?"? Well, it could be referring to roasting someone as the humor of "No one asked.", and it could be referring to actually asking a question about who asked the question. So, here's the answer to the question "Who asked?": It could be anyone who made something unlikely for the others or someone who asked a question which could be a hint to treasure, or a last "sentence" from somebody, or something else. (s)He could be you. (s)He could be me. (s)He could be Elon Musk. (s)He could be even your mom. as long as they have made something unlikely for the others or they have asked a question which could be a hint to treasure, or a last "sentence" from somebody, or something else.
February 2022

Who Asked?

All men are trash ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

heyyy queen I saw your tweet about how men are trash and I just wanted to let you know that I agree. although I myself am a man, (i know, ugh) i am on your side. โ€œone of the good onesโ€ as some may say. btw I never even noticed how fat your boobies are till now but theyโ€™re awesome
April 2021

Simps

Hey Kripp, Dan from HearthArena here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Dan from HearthArena here. Just wanted to let you know we have some updates to our policy for sponsored content. Instead of saying "that guy's deck was crazy", we now suggest our partners use the phrase, "wow, that guy must have used HearthArenaโ„ข to get a deck like that!" We're grateful for your continued participation and hope you have a nice day.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

Morbius is love. Morbius is life.

I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, โ€œMorbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, โ€œItโ€™s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
June 2022

Morbius

C9 is losing the team fight on the point uncontested

twitchquotes: LEARN PLAT CHAT! C9 is losing the team fight on the point uncontested during overtime But alot of players now say C9 when they WIN a point and losing the fight when the time runs out.
twitch chat
May 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

A GOAT says...

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿฎ says moo ๐Ÿฆ† says quack ๐Ÿถ says bark But the ๐Ÿ says FIRE AT WILL! NERF THIS! EXPERIENCE TRANQUILITY! HAMMER DOWN! RALLY TO ME! OH LETS BREAK IT DOWN!
twitch chat
April 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Among Us concerned father

Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game โ€œAmong Usโ€ after playing it on his computer. While i didnโ€™t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'susโ€™ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said โ€˜kickedโ€™. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying heโ€™ll โ€œejectโ€ me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Dripโ€™, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a โ€œcrewmateโ€. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use โ€œventโ€ to get there. I donโ€™t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and Iโ€™m ๏ปฟincredibly destructive but I donโ€™t care. Iโ€™m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you canโ€™t accept me youโ€™re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat
May 2017

I sexually Identify as

I sexually identify as You

Hi, my name is whatever yours is and I sexually identify as you. I use I/me/myself pronouns. If youโ€™re wondering โ€œWonโ€™t that get you confused with me?โ€ you are a transphobic bigot because I clearly stated that I identify as, and therefore am, you. By saying that I can get confused with you, you are implying that I am not you, and denying that Iโ€™m you is transphobic because you are denying my gender identity, and also your own because I am you. If you are now wondering โ€œDoesnโ€™t that make you also a transphobe?โ€ then I will answer. No, it does not. โค๏ธ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ
January 2021

I sexually Identify as

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle

March 2021

NSFW

Morons will copy anything if it's long enough

twitchquotes: Morons in this chat will copy anything you say if it's long enough. They won't even read the entire message. They just see a paragraph of text and instinctually copy it and paste it as if they wrote it themselves. It's actually sad how brain dead you people can be, copying and pasting things that have no meaning only because it caught your attention. FailFish
twitch chat
March 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

salty

My family keeps making Amongus references

It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at home๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿคฌ don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" ๐Ÿค” and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„ But then the worse part๐Ÿ˜‘ every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS ๐Ÿ˜† but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿคฃ The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Happy Thanksgiving emoji

Happy ๐Ÿฆƒ Thanksgiving ๐Ÿฆƒ! Guess what ๐Ÿ˜ฏโ“itโ€™s that time โฐ of year ๐Ÿ—“ to gobble ๐Ÿฆƒ gobble ๐Ÿฆƒ gobble ๐Ÿฆƒ up โฌ†๏ธ those dicks ๐Ÿ† chicks ๐Ÿฅ and bicks ๐Ÿคจ (big dicks) ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ซ I bet ๐Ÿ˜ youโ€™re all ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค HORNY-copia ๐ŸŒฝ ๐Ÿฅ”๐Ÿฅ•๐ŸŒถ๐Ÿ†โ™‹๏ธ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ for SKANKS-giving ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿคค๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ youโ€™ll be saying ๐Ÿ’ฌ thanks ๐Ÿ™ for giving me all ๐Ÿ˜ซ this ๐Ÿ˜ซ COCK ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿฅณ send this to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ of your thiccest sluts with those hot ๐Ÿฅต hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ tasty ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ˜‹ peach pies ๐Ÿฅง ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ if you know ๐Ÿค” what I mean โ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜‹ if you get 1๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก then you and that slut ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿคค๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ซ have to appropriate Native American culture together ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿชถ๐Ÿ• if you get 3๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿค‘ youโ€™re going to get your turkey ๐Ÿฆƒ eaten ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜ tomorrow night ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ if you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ you will be eating your cousinโ€™s ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป peach ๐Ÿ‘ pie ๐Ÿฅง just like youโ€™ve always ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏwanted ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿคค๐Ÿฅต if you get 7๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿ›ถ youโ€™ll become ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฒ a pilgrim ๐ŸŽฉ๐Ÿ‘ž and be the villain ๐Ÿฆนโ€โ™€๏ธ of American ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ history ๐Ÿ“–๐Ÿ“•๐Ÿ“š ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜” if you get all 1๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿคฏ youโ€™ll be feasting ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ˜ this thanksgiving ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ in more ways than one ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿšผ๐Ÿ’˜ okay you sexy ๐Ÿ˜‡ sexy ๐Ÿ˜ˆ gobbling turkey poos ๐Ÿฆƒ๐Ÿฆƒ๐Ÿฆƒ itโ€™s time โฐ for me to go โžก๏ธ atone ๐Ÿคฃfor the sins โœ๏ธ ๐Ÿ˜”of my ancestors๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿผโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿคฐ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿคฑ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Thanksgiving

My boss recently discovered Among Us

Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing