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The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed, the countless years of oatmeal infighting finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Chat "K"
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

Here's the thing. You said a "wyvern is a dragon."

Here's the thing. You said a "wyvern is a dragon." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a 1k MMR feeder who studies dragons, I am telling you, specifically, in dota, no one calls wyverns dragons. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "dragon family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Varanidae, which includes things from wyverns to eldwurms to drakes. So your reasoning for calling a wyvern a dragon is because random people "call the flying lizards dragons?" Let's get gyarados and charizards in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a noob or a feeder? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A wyvern is a wyvern and a member of the dragon family. But that's not what you said. You said a wyvern is a dragon, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the dragon family dragons, which means you'd call eldwurms, drakes, and other flying lizards dragons, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
January 2021

Chat would benefit from watching you play Xayah or Varus

twitchquotes: Hey Sneaky, I think chat would benefit from watching you play Xayah or Varus. We're all sex starved weebs and when you play Xayah and Varus we get to see you get your shit pushed in
twitch chat
March 2018
Sneaky

League of Legends

OkayChamp

twitchquotes: ⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀ ⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⢀⣼⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⣀⣀⠀⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⣾⣿⣿⣇⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠉⠛⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣟⡋⠉⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣉⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⠈⠙⣿⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣨⣵⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣩⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠙⠻⠟⠋⠁⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⢻⣧⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⡀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⢃⣴ ⠀⠀⠀⢻⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡈⠉⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⠋⠁⢀⣤⡜⠁⣼⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠀⠀⣠⣤⣴⣿⡟⠁⢠⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿
twitch chat
September 2020

my dream is full of monkaS in chat

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 ⚠️ ATTENTION ⚠️ my dream is full of monkaS in chat, pls help me fulfill my dream monkaS ☝️
twitch chat
June 2017

Year 2025, Riot takes over the world

twitchquotes: The year is 2025, Riot has finished acquiring Facebook and Google as well as the country of Germany, making it the first nation in terms of GDP. All games, electronic devices, appliances and vehicles are to be produced and purchased from Riot only, failure to do so may result in being set to League Reformation Camps.
twitch chat
October 2019

League of Legends

Male music with vocals of Gachirian era

twitchquotes: Dear host EZY WineTime of digital streams EZY WineTime gentlemen from chat EZY WineTime ask you to include male music EZY WineTime with vocals EZY WineTime of Gachirian era EZY WineTime
twitch chat
September 2020

KappaPride

Hi Toast this is Mrs. Laurent - Fiora's mom

twitchquotes: Hi Toast this is Mrs. Laurent - Fiora's mom. I noticed you have been picking my girl for your team in gym class. Fiora has been having a really tough time since her dad and I split up, and I know how much it means to her. You could have been rerolling saying: "We're never taking Fiora." It warms my tired heart that you would show such kindness and give a struggling girl with a good, noble soul a chance. Bless you Toastfor never giving up on my dear little girl
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

This Putin guy is insane!! 🔥

-1,68m manlet 😈🙏🏻 -0 pussy 😹 -0 major cities conquered 💀 -0 hairs left on his head 😈🙏🏻 -currency less valuable than robux 🔥👍 -empty threats merchant 🤯 -1,68cm 😹😹😹😹 Better dictator than Stalin??? 🔥
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

I'm the Server Manager for PinkieCraft, the Pony Roleplay Minecraft server that you play on

Hi (name), I'm the Server Manager for PinkieCraft, the Pony Roleplay Minecraft server that you play on. On behalf of the owner, the staff team and myself, I would like to personally extend my thanks to you for the $1,000 you forked up to help keep our server alive! Our modeler is happily working on the custom pony character that came with the donor package, however I regret to inform you that we don't currently have a way to send you the 20" "horse shaft" you requested but our team is working on it. Once again, thank you sincerely for the donation, and we hope to see you back on the server soon. Best Regards, PinkieCraft Server Manager "Keep on clopping."
September 2021

Hey, Vsauce, Michael here!

Hey, Vsauce, Michael here! Down here. But which way is down? And how much does down weigh? Well, down weighs about 1/100 of a g/cm3 . It is light, and airy, which makes it a great source of insulation and buoyancy for waterbirds. But if you let go of down, it falls down. So that's which way down is, it's the direction that gravity is pulling everything. Now for someone on the other side of the Earth, my down is their up, but where are falling things going? Why do things fall? Are they being pushed or pulled? Or, is it because of TIME TRAVEL.
March 2020

My daughter is dating a douche-bag (response to /r/cryptocurrency post)

My daughter is dating a douche-bag I don't know where I messed up, I thought I taught her well on what to look for in a man. The guy just showed up at my house and starting rambling on about how DCAing 30 dollars in 4 months into Safemoon helped him understand finance and geopolitics. I told him he was completely oblivious about being in a ponzi, this only unchained a what I believed to be a cocaine induced speech saying that Safemoon was going to be the next Bitcoin and he was going to moon while buying "lambos" for his friends because he was no "Bitch-ass paperhands". I'm a bank executive, so you can only imagine what a nightmare this is for me. Don't know what the point of this post is, is not like my daughter is going to stop dating that idiot anyways. I'm scared about my daughter's future.
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Why Pornhub is a rip-off of Spongebob Squarepants

Welcome back to Watchmojo.com, where we tell you our Top 5 picks for why Pornhub is a rip-off of Spongebob Squarepants. Pornhub is a website for watching stuff that your parents don't like. However, this concept may be based on an episode of the animated series Spongebob Squarepants where the titular main character is watching a video of a flesh-colored anenome dancing, while Gary walks in, and so Spongebob quickly grabs the television's remote and changes the channel immediately. Plankton has once said a phrase while speaking about Spongebob, which is "You will be mine". Many fans suggest that Spongebob (who can't be gay because he is fucking genderless smh) is a homosexual, and while saying this he is referring to his brain, which is, in texture, much like a woman's reproductive organs. In the episode of the Spongebob Squarepants series "Face Freeze", one scene shows Spongebob and Patrick's head looking like male and female external genitalia, and later they sleep in the same tent. Later on, Sandy pulls out her dirty, sharp hands and rubs on Spongebob's face, which may have inspired most videos in Pornhub's "lesbian" category. If you count the scene beforehand, this may also be one of the heterosexual "blowjobs". Another scene of Plankton includes him speaking about the Krabby Patty's secret sauce, he utters, while sweating behind iron bars and inside Spongebob's head, "yes, Yes, YES! COME TO PAPA!". Another one, from the movie, is when he says "Daddy yes!". These may have inspired either BDSM, incest porn, or some hentai. Also, Patrick licks his ass. Many Pornhub videos have used fake Spongebobs as character. Sometimes gay, straight, or even hentai. Especially a video where the opening is horrendously remade version of the Spongebob Squarepants intro theme, and the main character is a black man with a yellow painted face, who decides to refer to himself as "Spongeknob Squarenuts". And now, time for our honorable mentions!!!!! a) in the season 5 episode, "Spy Buddies", Patrick constantly uses his butt laser. This inspired Squirting. b) Squidward mentions that Mr. Krabs' "weiner thing" will "blow up in his face. This enspired Cumming. c) Squidward has also used a vacuum cleaner to suck on his penis. This inspired Vibrators and Fleshlights. d) Spongebob uses both animation and live action in episodes, much like Pornhub has live-action and hentai.
June 2021

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020

Response to "who gives a shit"

Well you see, if you didn't care you wouldn't have said "Literally no one gives a shit" in the first place. If you truly did not care, you would of completely ignored the conversation from the very start. The fact that you said that just shows the childishness inside of you. All that saying "no one gives a shit" does is make you out to be an entitled, lower person who craves attention by trying to seem cool. Even if you do not care about this statement, the mere fact that you are saying "no one gives a shit" says a lot about you. And shows that you are in fact an unlikable individual. Regardless of if you care of not, these are goddamn facts, and facts do not care about your little peabrained fucking pissbaby feelings. No amount of not caring will change your unlikableness. Nobody will forget this moment and it'll be embedded into our minds for months, even years. Grow up a little before even thinking about responding to another innocent person with "No one gives a shit".
April 2022

Is there an anime character stronger than Twilight Sparkle?

twitchquotes: Is there an anime character stronger than Twilight Sparkle? And I'm referring to supercharged Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle with Princess Celestia's guidance, full understanding of the Power of Friendship, control of The Elements of Harmony and Spike, equipped with her royal tiara, the Castle of Friendship, and the Rainbow Friendship Kingdom, as well as her Rainbow Sheen and Rainbow Power, with the magic of all the Alicorns implanted in her chest to give her full control of magic?
twitch chat
October 2019

Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING!

twitchquotes: Had a colonoscopy today. My doctor was actually Russian. Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING! They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used. When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!
twitch chat
June 2018

Last night I had a dream

twitchquotes: Last night I had a dream that whenever I typed something in Forsen's channel, everyone copied and pasted it, and then Forsen got really mad at me for starting spam. After that he banned me and I felt really bad for it, so my only option to apologize to him was to suck his sweadish meatballs. Sorry Forskin!
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Hey reckful’s brain, reckful’s chat here

twitchquotes: Hey reckful’s brain, reckful’s chat here. The way you make reckful sad all the time is not very cash money of you. I don’t think it’s very considerate of you to make reckful feel this way. He already has a hard time with being bipolar, why are you so mean to reckful? I try to make him happy but you do not make it easy. Reckful is a good guy and doesn’t need you in his head all the time making things harder. Fix your chemical imbalance brain, it will make everyone feel better.
twitch chat
August 2019
Reckful
Text-to-Speech Playing