[Copypasta] I want to fuck myself!

Now before you guys assume, i am not gay. I was messing around with a selfie of myself on faceapp and decided to use the female filter. As soon as i clicked the icon, my life was changed forever. Those lusious lips, the well defined jawline, the adorable eyes and those perfect eyebrows instantly gave me a hard on. Before i knew it, i was stroking my cock faster than i had ever before. Within 2 minutss i had already cummed 5 times coating my whole bed with a layer of semen and my balls were drier than the shaharan desert. Could any of you nerds please find a way to bring my waifu to lifue. Thanks uWu.
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
March 2022

Pokemon

Asmongold’s Defence for Brony Accusation

"Listen. Just because I know who Rainbow Dash is, and I know what Equestria is, and Princess Celestia is, and I- I know uh, other things about the thing too probably I- probably I think about it, I don't know - Just because I know that stuff - Pinkie Pie, yeah, the- I don't- Look, it- I- I'm not- no, sounds like you know the story- of course, LISTEN, what do they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer guys, t- remember- remember how they say that? Wh-what do you- wait, there's nothing wrong with this, it's- it's- that's, SEE? Look guys, yeah, TRUE, TRUE, yep, and absolutely not, nope we're downvoting this one, no, nope nope nope, that's not true, sus-"
April 2022
Asmongold

amongE

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⣾⣬⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣆⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢀⣞⡉⢩⣙⣿⡿⠉⠄⣠⣤⠤⠉⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⠁⢰⣾⣦⡤⠄⢀⣶⡀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢸⣿⣿⡟⠛⠃⡠⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣄⣘⣿⣿⠁⡀⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⣁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠙⠋⠹⠟⠁⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⠈⢿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠋⣀⣤⣄⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢸⠿⠛⠉⣁⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣄⣉⠉⠉⢉⣉⣉⣁⣤⣾⡏⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣈⠙⠛⠛⠟⠛⠛⢉⣁⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
April 2021
Forsen

Among Us / Amogus

Emote

My mobile phone gets hot if you spam

twitchquotes: pls don't spam. i'm watching on my mobile phone and it gets very hot if you spam so my hands get burned. if you don't want my hands to get burned stop spamming pls
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

TOTEMIC MIGHT

twitchquotes: ◥█̆◤ TOTEMIC MIGHT ◥█̆◤
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad
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