[Copypasta] I want to fuck myself!

Now before you guys assume, i am not gay. I was messing around with a selfie of myself on faceapp and decided to use the female filter. As soon as i clicked the icon, my life was changed forever. Those lusious lips, the well defined jawline, the adorable eyes and those perfect eyebrows instantly gave me a hard on. Before i knew it, i was stroking my cock faster than i had ever before. Within 2 minutss i had already cummed 5 times coating my whole bed with a layer of semen and my balls were drier than the shaharan desert. Could any of you nerds please find a way to bring my waifu to lifue. Thanks uWu.
September 2021
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More Copypastas

Anime is literally the best thing ever

Anime is literally the best thing ever. All of you baka Americans who can't wrap your minds around it because you think your Hollywood films and TV shows you are just stupid and wrong and need to stop speaking. Literally nobody likes your opinions except the other baka Americans that don't understand Anime culture and the fact that Anime is truly a masterpiece of art, emotion and plot development. The characters always develop so well and so does the plot and it is just like really good. Like literally just watch it and you will understand you stupid white people. Ok, I am white but like I like anime so I'm basically Japanese at this point. Anyways, back to the subject, have you ever heard of the best anime ever, Redo of Healer...
February 2022

Anime

Weebs

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021

Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike? My friend is a developer at Blizzard and he invented Flamestrike. He has been getting spam letters in the mail threatening to "brofist" him. These spammers claim to be "insane" and "crazy" and "have exactly what they need to beat him." I am worried for him, please help. Thanks man.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Byron, you have such a beautiful smile

twitchquotes: Byron, you have such a beautiful smile, luscious lips, smooth skin, gorgeous bald spot and an amazing STICC body, can I eat your ass? :)
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful

Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing