[Copypasta] I want to fuck myself!

Now before you guys assume, i am not gay. I was messing around with a selfie of myself on faceapp and decided to use the female filter. As soon as i clicked the icon, my life was changed forever. Those lusious lips, the well defined jawline, the adorable eyes and those perfect eyebrows instantly gave me a hard on. Before i knew it, i was stroking my cock faster than i had ever before. Within 2 minutss i had already cummed 5 times coating my whole bed with a layer of semen and my balls were drier than the shaharan desert. Could any of you nerds please find a way to bring my waifu to lifue. Thanks uWu.
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Trump wakes up chained to the wall

twitchquotes: Trump wakes up chained to the wall of a small room with Kripp standing over him. Orange Juice begins pouring from the walls, quickly filling the space. Trump screams in horror as he struggles to get free. Kripp walks out, shuts the door and sits down to begin his stream, the white wall of the death chamber visible behind him for all his viewers to see
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife? Okay, little background. My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald. My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through. Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation. My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole. What do you think?
April 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Will Smith Slap

Ben Shapiro Kung Fu Fighting

Let's say for a minute, that hypothetically, everyone was in fact kung fu fighting. Now statistically speaking of course, this is impossible. Now hypothetically if they were, hypothetically of course. Now, would they all be performing the same so called Kung Fu move? Statistically speaking that is highly unlikely. This would also, hypothetically, be quite dangerous if it were to actually occur. Coming from a medical official, my wife, who is a doctor, she says that hypothetically, this would be dangerous. So, logically, this would not happen. So in fact, there is no way, impossible even, that everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Anime girl 12

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠤⠖⠚⢉⣩⣭⡭⠛⠓⠲⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠁⠀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⢀⡴⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠁⣠⠋⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⢣⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡾⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣹⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠃⢀⣇⡈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡑⢄⡀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⠀⢸⠀⢻⡟⡻⢶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠟⡳⢿⣦⡑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⠀⣸⠀⢸⠃⡇⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠈⣿⡗⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁ ⠀⠀⡏⠀⣼⠀⢳⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣀⣀⠔⣸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⡇⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃⠀ ⠀⢸⠃⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀ ⠀⣸⠀⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⢶⡇⠀⠀⢰⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀ ⢰⠇⡄⠀⠀⠀⡿⢣⣀⣀⣀⡤⠴⡞⠉⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀ ⣸⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⣿⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠤⠶⠶⠾⠤⠄⢸⠀⡀⠸⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀ ⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⡀⠀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡌⣵⡀⢳⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀ ⡇⠀⠇⠀⠀⡇⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠮⢧⣀⣻⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧ ⣇⠀⢠⠀⠀⢳⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡎⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘ ⢻⠀⠈⠰⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠘⢮⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠸⡆⠀⠀⠇⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⣄⡀⢢⡀
April 2020

Weebs

HeyGuys

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣹⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢽⠟⠁⠰⠿⠻⢾⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⠒⡌⠱⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣴⠊⠀⣤⡀⣼⣶⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡇⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠙⠉⠉⠁⠝⢹⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⠀⠃⠀⠀⢰⢠⢢ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠈⠒⠒⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠈⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠆⠸ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠁⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠃⠃⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing