Now before you guys assume, i am not gay. I was messing around with a selfie of myself on faceapp and decided to use the female filter. As soon as i clicked the icon, my life was changed forever. Those lusious lips, the well defined jawline, the adorable eyes and those perfect eyebrows instantly gave me a hard on. Before i knew it, i was stroking my cock faster than i had ever before. Within 2 minutss i had already cummed 5 times coating my whole bed with a layer of semen and my balls were drier than the shaharan desert. Could any of you nerds please find a way to bring my waifu to lifue. Thanks uWu.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
How I got into Harvard
Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview.
As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. 
Rick and Morty
Artosis is glad Kripp is a sellout like him
twitchquotes:
ＷＥＬＬ ＭＥＴ ＫＲＩＰＰ， ＩＴ＇Ｓ ＭＥ ＡＲＴＯＳＩＳ． Ｉ＇Ｍ ＧＬＡＤ ＹＯＵ＇ＲＥ ＪＯＩＮＩＮＧ ＴＨＥ ＷＡＹ ＯＦ ＴＨＥ ＳＥＬＬＯＵＴ． ＣＯＮＴＩＮＵＥ ＢＥＩＮＧ Ａ ＣＡＳＵＡＬ ＳＥＬＬＯＵＴ ＬＩＫＥ ＭＥ ＡＮＤ ＹＯＵ＇ＬＬ ＧＲＯＷ ＩＮＴＯ Ａ ＪＥＷ ＮＯＳＥＤ ＧＡＭＥＲ ＪＡＣＫＥＴ ＳＥＬＬＯＵＴ
twitch chat
Kripp
Response to Pokimane saying she's disgusted by cum tributes
Really tired of being treated like Public Enemy #1 sometimes. There are a lot worst things going on in the world than a bunch of guys whipping out their cocks and sharing pics and vids of them and our loads. Especially when a lot of us are some of your biggest fans and simps who wouldn't hurt a fly and are just showing support in our own way. Just leave me in peace when I've had a bad day, need a release and you helped me through it.
Pokimane
Dicks are so cute omg
twitchquotes:
Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω＼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!（＾ワ＾)
twitch chat
Classic
Rick Roll lyrics
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye