[Copypasta] I want to fuck myself!

Now before you guys assume, i am not gay. I was messing around with a selfie of myself on faceapp and decided to use the female filter. As soon as i clicked the icon, my life was changed forever. Those lusious lips, the well defined jawline, the adorable eyes and those perfect eyebrows instantly gave me a hard on. Before i knew it, i was stroking my cock faster than i had ever before. Within 2 minutss i had already cummed 5 times coating my whole bed with a layer of semen and my balls were drier than the shaharan desert. Could any of you nerds please find a way to bring my waifu to lifue. Thanks uWu.
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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FeelsOkayMan

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Among us ritual

Go to the bathroom at 3:33 am, then open youtube and play among us drip song then do the jerma sus face and repeat the word "sus" in front to the mirror for 666 times, if the ritual worked then a voice from your parents room will say "shut up", you will then hear a creature walk to the bathroom, at this point destroy the mirror before he enters In the bathroom if the ritual worked then the next day your parents will start discussing about you having mental problems
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Just a little longer and i'll be free...

twitchquotes: "Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
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Giovanni Lasagna from Library on A site Inferno hates Jame

Its a me, receptionist Giovanni Lasagna from Library on A site Inferno. I like to read my book in silence but mamma mia, i can not! There is man storming into quiet library every 10 minute with gun he say "He need his AWP next round" so he "is saving". Tell him, I will call police next time!!!!
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Bro, you MASHING right now!

twitchquotes: Last night, I dreamt I was the head chef at an Italian restaurant, and a notoriously-picky food critic was waiting for his meal. I was terrified. His review would make or break my career as a chef. I spent an hour cooking up the best pasta I had ever made, and brought it out to his table. But the moment I came up to him, he turned to me and shouted "Bro, you MASHING right now!" I was stunned. It was NairoMK. I woke up in a cold sweat.
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Text-to-Speech Playing