[Copypasta] I want to fuck myself!

Now before you guys assume, i am not gay. I was messing around with a selfie of myself on faceapp and decided to use the female filter. As soon as i clicked the icon, my life was changed forever. Those lusious lips, the well defined jawline, the adorable eyes and those perfect eyebrows instantly gave me a hard on. Before i knew it, i was stroking my cock faster than i had ever before. Within 2 minutss i had already cummed 5 times coating my whole bed with a layer of semen and my balls were drier than the shaharan desert. Could any of you nerds please find a way to bring my waifu to lifue. Thanks uWu.
September 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Help Doge Take Over Steam

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ Help โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ Doge โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ Take โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–โ–ˆโ–Œ Over โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆ Steam โ–โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œ Copy โ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–โ–ˆ And โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆ Paste โ–Œโ–“โ–„โ–Œโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ŒDO IT. โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–
ascii art
February 2021

THANK MR SKELTAL

twitchquotes: THANK MR SKELTAL๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽบ gooD boNes n calcium๐Ÿ’€ thank ๐ŸŽบ mr skeltal g๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ood bones๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€and calc๐Ÿ’€ ium๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ good bones๐ŸŽบand calcium ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบif i dootฦฝaาฏ thank skeltal man ๐ŸŽถ doot doot doot doot๐ŸŽถ good bones n calcium good bones (chorus: dootdoot) mMMMMแŽทะœ๐ŸŽถ ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€DO0ะžเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะžเฌ เฌ Ooooแต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’T๐Ÿ’€ ๐Ÿ’€ ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ ๐ŸŽถ ๐Ÿ’€ ๐ŸŽบ ๐ŸŽบ ๐ŸŽบ ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€thank mr skeltal
twitch chat
March 2016

My girlfriendโ€™s dad is a banking exec (post on /r/cryptocurrency)

My girlfriendโ€™s dad is a banking exec, I told him Iโ€™m all in on crypto He and I met yesterday. He is a kind and mild mannered guy who comes off as deeply intelligent. I asked him how he felt about decentralized finance and he said it was a risky venture (no surprise from his banking point of view) and anyone putting money into it is a fool. He seemed disappointed that his daughterโ€™s boyfriend wanted to talk about crypto. For me, crypto has fundamentally changed my life - it has taught me about finance, geopolitics, and that I have the agency to live a life I wasnโ€™t sure was possible. So, when he seemed disappointed, what did I do? I doubled down. I gave an impassioned speech about why cryptocurrency is changing the world and democratizing resources that traditionally only the wealthy had access to. It is giving poor communities a fighting chance and that it is revolutionary and something that is a big part of my investment strategy. I donโ€™t know what the point of this post is, but I just, idk, he made me feel like a fool of an investor because he either just doesnโ€™t get it or is scared of it and I feel like his view of me has become less favorable in terms of dating his daughter, but Iโ€™m going to stand up for what I believe in. Ramble over.
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Kripp forgot about shredder placement

twitchquotes: Pupparrian scampers excitedly as Kripp carries the new bird cage. "Here you go, Birdarrian," says Kripp as he hangs the cage in the office. Unfortunately, Pupparian's joyful romping caused kripp to stumble, the cage bursting open and Birdarrian falling helplessly into the merciless jaws of the paper shredder sitting below the cage. "Oh no," gasps Kripp, "I forgot about shredder placement!"
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

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