[Copypasta] I want to fuck myself!

Now before you guys assume, i am not gay. I was messing around with a selfie of myself on faceapp and decided to use the female filter. As soon as i clicked the icon, my life was changed forever. Those lusious lips, the well defined jawline, the adorable eyes and those perfect eyebrows instantly gave me a hard on. Before i knew it, i was stroking my cock faster than i had ever before. Within 2 minutss i had already cummed 5 times coating my whole bed with a layer of semen and my balls were drier than the shaharan desert. Could any of you nerds please find a way to bring my waifu to lifue. Thanks uWu.
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

A young Ben Shapiro insults his classmate

Let's say, hypothetically, your mom was wearing a yellow raincoat. Now, also in this scenario, there is a man needing to get home. When he sees your mom, he will yell "taxi, taxi!". Now, why does he do this? The answer is actually quite simple. Your mom is so fat she is the size of a taxi, and the yellow raincoat she is theoretically wearing is the same color as a taxi. Therefore, the man mistakes her for a taxi. So, what has this hypothetical scenario shown us? It has shown us that your mom is very, very, fat. Boom! Once again destroyed with facts and logic.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Hello this is Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon

twitchquotes: Hello this is Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon™. As many of you know, we have recently bought over "Twitch tv". Users must now buy 'Emotes' such as " Kappa ", " Kreygasm " and " FrankerZ ". If users proceed to use these emotes without buying and owning them, we will have to, not only remove the account of the user but also, shut down the stream we have evidence that is has been used in. Thank you, do not copy and paste this. This is business, kid.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

PepegaPls

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠒⠤⣄⠛⠉⢙⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠐⠋⢉⣩⣭⣉⡶⡏⣠⣴⡖⠦⣝⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠐⢾⣿⣿⠋⠙⢿⣆⣿⣿⡇⠠⠌⣧⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢸⣿⡏⠀⠇⣼⡿⠸⠿⠿⠶⠒⣋⣿ ⣿⡿⠋⠹⡏⠀⠀⢀⣊⣉⠀⠀⠀⢰⣀⠘⢄⡙⠛⢖⣛⡋⠐⠳⢬⡭⠽⠛⠉⣿ ⣿⠁⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⣿⢭⡙⢷⣄⡀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⡀⢠⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⢻⣦⡛⣓⡩⠽⣛⡶⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⣄⣐⣖⡉⡅⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢶⣭⣗⣂⠍⠛⠛⠛⢛⣫⣤⣿⣿⠿⢛⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣄⠀⠀⡉⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠁⢰⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

forsenBoys

⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠹⠟⣩⣭⣤⣬⣍⡻⠁⣤⡄⢤⣤⣬⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣈⢿⠄⠄⠤⠤⢠⣿⡿⣩⣤⣍⢻⡷⡀⣿⡇⠠⠬⢹⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣷⣯⠺⠿⠿⠿⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⢈⣬⡃⣶⡇⣶⣶⣾⡟⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡌⢷⣶⣌⠛⢩⣼⡿⠁⠽⡇⢰⣦⠐⣉⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⣃⣘⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣍⣋⣐⣛⣋⣴⣀⣀⣀⣻⣿⣄⣋⣁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⢩⣴⣶⢰⣶⣬⠁⣤⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⢀⣶⣦⠹⣿⢰⣶⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⢺⣿⣐⣒⠘⠛⠂⠈⢻⢐⣒⡒⡒⢘⠊⠻⢇⠹⢨⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡷⠆⠙⠫⠻⠿⡑⠄⣉⡣⠙⠛⠋⠂⢸⣽⡇⠹⣷⠘⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⡧⢌⠉⣀⠃⠂⠽⠇⠈⠉⡉⣉⢸⣿⡇⣦⠹⣷⡜⠂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⣀⣀⣀⣠⣆⣀⣀⣀⣈⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣧⣀⣈⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣶⡆⣶⣶⡶⣦⠙⠟⣩⣴⣶⢰⣦⣍⡙⡐⣶⣦⢀⣶⡶⠄⣡⣶⠶⣶⣦⣍⢻ ⡇⣿⡇⣐⡒⣨⡾⠃⢰⣿⢋⣤⣦⡘⡿⠷⢰⠸⢇⡼⣿⢡⠄⣿⣇⣐⠂⠘⢛⣸ ⡇⡿⠁⢛⣛⠻⠶⠄⠸⠍⠸⣿⣿⡇⣰⣻⢰⠇⣾⡌⢀⣾⠷⠌⠙⡓⠛⠿⠤⠙ ⡇⢤⡅⡈⣉⣀⡈⠁⡀⢻⢧⢈⢋⣴⡴⠏⡌⣸⣾⠇⣼⣿⠄⢶⣦⠉⢉⡈⠄⢀ ⣧⣈⣁⣈⣀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣦⣤⣀⣈⣤⣴⣾⣄⣀⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣄⣈⣠⣴⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

I just thought you looked cute in your picture

twitchquotes: hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx
twitch chat
April 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing