[Copypasta] Burger King tweet thread: women belong in the kitchen tweet

Women belong in the kitchen. If they want to, of course. Yet only 20% of chefs are women. We're on a mission to change the gender ratio in the restaurant industry by empowering female employees with the opportunity to pursue a culinary career. #IWD - We are proud to be launching a new scholarship programme which will help female Burger King employees pursue their culinary dreams!
March 2021
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November 2014

Attention all Fortnite gamers, Trump needs you!

twitchquotes: Attention all fornite gamers. President Trump is in trouble and needs your help. Grab your pickaxes and get that quick build on. We need your Fortnite building skills to get that border wall up. Quick! find the nearest quad crasher and join Ninja in keeping those migrants out and America safe.
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November 2018

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Halloween Mercy

twitchquotes: 😍Guys😍, I’m 😲shaking😲. I’m fucking😲 shaking😲. I never wanted to πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ŒπŸ†πŸ‘breed πŸ‘πŸ†πŸ‘‰πŸ‘Œwith anyone more than I want to with πŸŽƒπŸ‘»Halloween πŸ‘»βœοΈMercy.βœοΈπŸŽƒοΈ That πŸ’―perfect,πŸ’― ⏳curvy ⏳😍body.😍 Those 😍bountiful😍 🍈breasts🍈. The πŸ‘ͺchild πŸ‘ͺbearing😍 hips😍 of a πŸ–ΌοΈπŸ’literal goddessπŸ’πŸ–ΌοΈ. It honestly fucking 😳😳hurts😳😳 knowing that I’ll neverβ€πŸ‘…πŸ’‹mate β€πŸ‘…πŸ’‹with her, ⬆pass⬆ my πŸ‘–genesπŸ‘– through her, and have her πŸ‘‘birthπŸ‘‘ a set of πŸ‘ͺπŸ’―perfect offspring.πŸ’―πŸ‘ͺ I’d do fuckingπŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’° ANYTHING πŸ’°πŸ’°
twitch chat
June 2017

Emoji Pasta

Overwatch

Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022

I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
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