[Copypasta] Burger King tweet thread: women belong in the kitchen tweet

Women belong in the kitchen. If they want to, of course. Yet only 20% of chefs are women. We're on a mission to change the gender ratio in the restaurant industry by empowering female employees with the opportunity to pursue a culinary career. #IWD - We are proud to be launching a new scholarship programme which will help female Burger King employees pursue their culinary dreams!
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
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She sells sea shells on the sea shore

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think theyโ€™re rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island Stockpile 'em high until theyโ€™re rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you havenโ€™t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly "Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself? She sells seashells, sell oil as well Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes Then run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours Step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore
April 2021

MLK day emojipasta

heyyy ๐Ÿ‘‹ Marthin Luther QUEENS ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ i have a dream ๐Ÿ˜ด ๐Ÿ›Œ that you will be dicked ๐Ÿ† down โฌ‡๏ธ tonight like DADDY ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฟโ€๐Ÿฆณ Martin Luther King Jr. would have wanted ๐Ÿ˜ŒโœŠ๐Ÿฟ so MARCH ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™€๏ธ on down โฌ‡๏ธ to his washington monument ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ and have a SIT IN ๐ŸงŽโ€โ™€๏ธ on that DICK ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ† Make sure to ABOLISH his KKKOCK ๐Ÿ—ฝ like a TRUE PATRIOT ๐Ÿ—ฝ segregate those cheeks ๐Ÿ‘ tonight it doesnโ€™t matter ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธ if his fountain ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ is BLACK or WHITE ๐Ÿค we are all CUMRADES ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ in the fight against discrimination ๐Ÿ˜ SOAK those PANTIFA ๐Ÿฉฒ our TWERK is not over โ€ผ๏ธ SEND this ๐Ÿ“ค to โœŒ๏ธ every WOKE HOE ๐Ÿคฏ you know ๐Ÿ†˜ Get 2๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ BACK to END racism โœŠ and UNITE the races in SEXUAL ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ HARMONY โ˜ฎ๏ธ
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

MLK Day

Bear King Burry vs TSLA

Bear King Michael Burry in the ring, slappin TSLA with a metal chair. His glass eye open wide with rage as he batters TSLA relentlessly. "The valuation..." crunch "makes...." crunch "NO.... " crunch "SENSE!" he roars with maniacal autistic glee. TSLA struggles for the edge of the ring, but coughs blood as each hit lands, and eventually stops moving. Bear King Burry drops the chair. Bear King Burry turns to the crowd "Was this your champion!? Was TSLA supposed to be your chosen one!?" A child in the crowd turns his face into his mother's side and cries. On the side of the ring WSB can barely move. TSLA was supposed to tag them in, but couldn't make it to the side in time. "Get up TSLA" WSB whimpers hopelessly, a single tear rolling down their cheek. "Get up..." Bear King Burry turns to WSB "Now it is your portfolio's turn. Get in here you little bitch." "Excuse me." Someone replies from behind BKB. "I believe I can give you the fight you want." A robed figure is administering smelling salts to TSLA. The figure puts TSLA on its shoulder and carries TSLA gently out of the ring. "And just who the fuck do you think you are?" BKB rumbles ominously. BKB's fingers squeeze so tightly on the chair that metal bends. "Who am I?" the robed figure inquires. The robed figure stands straight and stretches to their full height. They must be at least 7' tall. The crowd stops crying and watches in stunned silence. "Who am I?" The figure repeats menacingly. The figure turns around to face BKB, ripping off his robe. A gleaming light fills the stadium. Before us stands a Golden deity, rippling with muscle. If there is an ounce of body fat it is currently in hiding, only to make way for seemingly endless coiled golden musculature. The figure looks directly into Bear King Burry's eyes. "I'm Goldman Sachs, and i'm here to kill you."
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I have a 197 word essay due tomorrow

twitchquotes: fck my life!!! I have a 197 word essay due tomorrow and I have no idea where to start. Just WAIT till you kiddies have real homework, then we will see how much time you have to spam in here
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing