[Copypasta] Burger King tweet thread: women belong in the kitchen tweet

Women belong in the kitchen. If they want to, of course. Yet only 20% of chefs are women. We're on a mission to change the gender ratio in the restaurant industry by empowering female employees with the opportunity to pursue a culinary career. #IWD - We are proud to be launching a new scholarship programme which will help female Burger King employees pursue their culinary dreams!
March 2021
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Mesothelioma ad script

If you or a loved one was diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may be entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in the Navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction or the automotive industries may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call 1-800-99 LAW USA today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now! 1-800-99 LAW USA
March 2021

Vegan Propaganda

twitchquotes: KKona Howdy Kripp, my name is Bill and I work in the meat industry. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of all the vegan propaganda you're spreading on this here livestream. You rave about the health benefits of becoming a leaf-muncher, but look at you! You're a pale, scrawny, hallowed-out husk of a man. Hell, you probably can't even lift up a hamburger with those pitiful arms of yours. If you don't stop hating on meat, I'm gonna come by in my truck and force-feed you my "giant sausage!"
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

Classic

She sells sea shells on the sea shore

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly "Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself? She sells seashells, sell oil as well Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes Then run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours Step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore
April 2021

Millerino Druidino

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Kripparian, its Reynad's attourney here, i see you are using my client's new deck, the Millerino Druidino. We will send you the fees for using his new deck idea, please stay in touch with us or we will have to take the needed providences. Have a good climb, no pasterino please. Nice cat u have.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

come on chat. smoke with me

twitchquotes: FeelsOkayMan 🚬 💨 come on chat. smoke with me.
twitch chat
March 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing