MASTURBATION NOTICE
It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy
The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties
The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this
Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal
If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities
Thank you for your cooperation
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Captain Jean-Luc Picard facepalm
...........................................________........................
....................................,.-ββ...................``~.,..................
.............................,.-β...................................β-.,............
.........................,/...............................................β:,........
.....................,?......................................................\,.....
.................../...........................................................,}....
................./......................................................,:`^`..}....
.............../...................................................,:β........./.....
..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../.....
............./__.(.....β~-,_..............................,:`........../........
.........../(_....β~,_........β~,_....................,:`........_/...........
..........{.._$;_......β=,_.......β-,_.......,.-~-,},.~β;/....}...........
...........((.....*~_.......β=-._......β;,,./`..../β............../............
...,,,___.\`~,......β~.,....................`.....}............../.............
............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-β...............
............/.`~,......`-...............................\....../\...................
..............\`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....\,__...........
,,_..........}.>-._\...................................|..............`=~-,....
.....`=~-,_\_......`\,.................................\........................
...................`=~-,,.\,...............................\.......................
................................`:,,...........................`\..............__..
.....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``.......
........................................_\..........._,-%.......`\...............
...................................,
Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi
Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
Darude Sandstorm
twitchquotes:
DUDUDUDUDUDUU
DUDUDUDUDUDUU
twitch chat
Reynad
SCANNING FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE ASKED
π¨ SCANNING π½ FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE ASKED π¨
25% COMPLETE π
50% COMPLETE π
75% COMPLETE π
βERRORβ
THIS SCAN HAS FOUND β NO β PERSON(S) WITHIN A 1000 KM RADIUS WHO ASKED.
Who Asked?
My daughter is dating a douche-bag (response to /r/cryptocurrency post)
My daughter is dating a douche-bag
I don't know where I messed up, I thought I taught her well on what to look for in a man.
The guy just showed up at my house and starting rambling on about how DCAing 30 dollars in 4 months into Safemoon helped him understand finance and geopolitics. I told him he was completely oblivious about being in a ponzi, this only unchained a what I believed to be a cocaine induced speech saying that Safemoon was going to be the next Bitcoin and he was going to moon while buying "lambos" for his friends because he was no "Bitch-ass paperhands".
I'm a bank executive, so you can only imagine what a nightmare this is for me.
Don't know what the point of this post is, is not like my daughter is going to stop dating that idiot anyways. I'm scared about my daughter's future.