MASTURBATION NOTICE
It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy
The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties
The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this
Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal
If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities
Thank you for your cooperation
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More Copypastas
Petition to fly Kripp down to Houston
twitchquotes:
I am starting a petition to fly Kripp down to Houston to aid in the Hurricane Harvey relief effort. The unprecedented levels of 
that spew from his mouth will reduce the water levels by at least 75%. One copy pasterino = 1 prayer 
that spew from his mouth will reduce the water levels by at least 75%. One copy pasterino = 1 prayer
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Kripp
Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call
So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
All becoming SELLOUT
twitchquotes:
Ｗｈｅｎ ＳＰＯＮＳＯＲＥＤ， ｍｙ ｈａｎｄ ｇｏｅｓ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｉｎ ｍｙ ｐｏｃｋｅｔ． Ｉ ｆｅｅｌ ｔｈｅ ｔｅｘｔｕｒｅ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｄｏｌｌａｒｓ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｆｅｅｌ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｓｐｏｎｓｏｒ． Ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ＳＥＬＬＯＵＴ
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Kripp
sellout
Kripp discovered one weird trick to look twice his age
twitchquotes:
Kripp is the remarkable twenty year old that discovered one weird trick to look twice his age. It's called being VEGAN and it limits your body’s nutritional intake and makes you look and feel TWICE AS OLD. Why would anyone want to be vegan you may ask, well all vegans hate animals so they eat all the animals food so that they starve to death.
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Kripp
Don't take it personally
twitchquotes:
hey i just want to let you guys know i really want to win and if i say something about your skill its just because im frustrated and i dont want any of you guys to take it personally but ive been having some rough games
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