[Copypasta] Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
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God of War Kratos

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
September 2021

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

D3 is boring

twitchquotes: Hmm, something tells me that Kripps audience has gotten enough from D3 for most part... Just can't really put my finger on... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

i think its hilarious u kids talking shit about semphis

twitchquotes: i think its hilarious u kids talking shit about semphis. u wouldnt say this shit to him at lan, hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol
twitch chat
October 2016
Semphis

CSGO

Zamn She's 12?

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ โฃถโฃถโฃถโขถโฃฒโฃฆโฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโ พโ ฟโ ฟโขฟโฃฟโฃถโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃพโฃทโ Ÿโ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ ณโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃผโฃฟโ ‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โฃผโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ จโฃทโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขปโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ€โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข›โฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โ บโ โ €โ €โ €โขโ €โฃ€โ ‰โกฃโฃคโ คโขคโฃถโ ”โก‹โข‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โ „โขƒโฃ„โ €โ €โ โ โฃ€โฃ˜โ ฝโ โ €โ ธโก—โกโ ›โกฝโ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ „โ „โ ˆโฃƒโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก€โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โขฎโ ‰โ ™โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ  โ „โก โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โ Žโ โ ฆโฃ€โฃ€โฃคโฃดโฃ†โฃคโ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃคโฃถโ โก†โฃฟโฃ„โ €โ €โ €โฃพโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ฉโขผโฃฟโ ‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โฃ€โฃ โฃดโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ †โขปโฃฟโฃ„โก€โขฐโกฟโฃกโฃฆโฃ‰โฃ‰โ ‰โข‰โฃนโฃฟโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโข€โ €โ €โ ปโฃฟโฃŸโขฟโกโ โ ˆโ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ˜โขธโฃณโฃฟโฃทโฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ € โฃฟโกŸโขปโฃฟโฃปโฃฟโก‡โข˜โก€โ €โ ˜โฃฟโก‡โ ˜โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโก€โ € โฃฟโก…โขธโฃฟโกฟโฃŸโฃฅโ €โขทโฃคโฃดโฃฟโฃฟโฃ†โ €โ ฐโก†โ €โข€โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡ โฃฟโก‡โฃธโกฅโก‡โฃฟโฃฟโฃทโกˆโ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโฃคโฃถโฃ€โฃ€โก โ ˆโฃฑโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡ โฃปโก‡โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โฃฟโขโฃปโฃฟโฃฆโก โ ™โ ฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ Ÿโฃ‰โฃชโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก โฃฟโ ƒโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ‰โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฆโฃคโฃคโกฐโ ทโขถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโฃ‡ โฃฟโขธโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โฃฟโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ Ÿโ ‰โกฟโฃโ โ โข โฃœโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขฟโฃฟโก‡ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขงโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ›โฃšโฃ’โฃ€โฃงโฃฟโ €โ €โ ˜โฃงโ พโ ถโ ถโ ถโ พโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ โฃฟโฃฟโกฟโกŸโ ›โ ›โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก— โฃฟโฃ‡โฃฟโ €โ €โฃ€โก€โ €โฃ โ €โข โก€โฃ โ €โฃ„โ €โฃ†โ €โฃ„โกขโ โฃดโ †โ €โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกท โฃฟโฃทโขปโ €โ €โฃ€โ ‰โขธโ ’โขฃโขธโ ˆโ ˆโก†โ ‡โ ‘โ ปโ €โ €โขคโฃคโ „โ €โ €โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกท โฃพโฃฟโขธโ €โ €โ ‰โ ‰โ ˆโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โฃ€โฃฐโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฏโก— โฃฟโฃฟโฃพโฃโข โฃคโฃคโ คโ คโ ถโ ถโฃถโฃ–โฃ’โฃšโฃ›โฃปโฃฟโฃฟโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃฝโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃพโฃฟโฃ›โฃ‹โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃŸ
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November 2021
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