[Copypasta] Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Rob from the Romanian sausage truck

twitchquotes: Hey "Kripp!" It's me -- Rob from the Romanian sausage truck. I haven't seen you come by in a while! My friend told me you were a famous gamer, so I searched for you online. I honestly had no idea! Thanks for the shout-out. Keep rocking, and come by for a sausage if you have the chance. I'd love to see you again.
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto and I am begging you to stop drinking so much OJ. Since you became popular on the Twitch our sales have decreased by over 69% because Canadians want to be like you. For *** sake please drink some apple juice! If you continue drinking OJ, I wont be able to feed my family anymore
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Hey guys, this is my very first MEME

twitchquotes: Hey guys, this is my very first MEME. Hope you guys like it! Thanks for listening.
twitch chat
September 2016

lul EU.... I guess

twitchquotes: Lost to EU in Twitch Rivals FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at Worlds FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at MSI FeelsBadMan Only 1 NA mid next season FeelsBadMan lul EU.... I guess FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
December 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

No, fellow Twitch chat community member, I will NOT press 1

twitchquotes: No, fellow Twitch chat community member, I will NOT press 1, spam Kаppa, hold my donger, aggravate mods, or copy paste your messages. This is a community of upstanding individuals, such as myself, who wish to keep this chat in a state of peace and clarity.
twitch chat
February 2016
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing