MASTURBATION NOTICE
It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy
The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties
The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this
Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal
If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities
Thank you for your cooperation
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I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!
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I'm SICK of STREAMERS referring to all us all as "Twitch Chat" as if we're some sort of hivemind. I am NOT a DRONE. I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!
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AITA for not going to my friendβs funeral home if he isnβt coming to mine?
So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot).
My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands).
I know Iβm right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
Am I The Asshole?
I've noticed that your reddit avatar is not wearing a hijab
Sister. I've noticed that your reddit avatar is not wearing a hijab. When you wear a hijab, you are obeying the commands of Allah, and you can expect great rewards in return. It is Allah's protection of your natural beauty. You are too precious to be "on display" for each man to see. It is Allah's preservation of your chastity. Allah purifies your heart and mind through the hijab. Allah raises your dignity through the hijab. When a strange man looks at you, he respects you because he sees that you respect yourself. And this applies to your reddit avatar as well.
The D: emote has been banned
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ββββββββββββββββββββββββ 
The D: emote has been banned from this channel ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
The D: emote has been banned from this channel ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
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Infected with the Dank Pasta Virus
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bα½ αα¬αͺα α₯ααΆ αhα₯s mα¬ssαͺαΆα¬ α½αΎu αͺαα¬ ααΎα³ α₯αfα¬ααα¬α α³α₯αh αhα¬ α αͺαα¦ α’αͺsααͺ αα₯αus. ααΎ αΆα¬α αα₯α αΎf αhα¬ α αͺαα¦ α’αͺsααͺ αα₯αus, α½αΎu musα α’αͺss α₯α αΎα ααΎ αhα¬ αhαͺT γ½ΰΌΌΰΊΩΝΰΊΰΌ½οΎ I'm cured!!
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Kripp