[Copypasta] Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
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NFT's are racist

Well, believe me, it's crystal clear: NFT's are racist. You don't believe this, huh? Well, I'm going to explain it to you. First off, the name. The The Bored Ape Yacht Club wants you to believe that "NFT" stands for Non-fungible token. This name might be an accurate name for the images of apes that are sold, but it also stands for "n****r(s) for trade". This is absolutely not okay. NFT's have been fully covered on national news and they usual tell you that images of apes are being traded. What they don't tell you, is that those apes usually have big lips, golden chains and rings and contains an awful lot of stereotypes. NFT's use apes as a methaphor for the stereotypical black communty. This can be explained: NFT's were invented on 4chan. 4chan is the breedplace of 99% of evil on the internet. The /pol/ communty, already infamous for it's racism and anti-semitism. created NFT's because they want to insult black people. Using complex trading methods on specific websites on the internet and needing a fast connection to the world wide web they try to exclude as many black people (mainly the African continent). It even goes beyond that. Neo-Nazi artists, like Ben Garisson and StoneToss have recently used this way of trading to sell their art full of hate. They can do this because NFT's are completely anonymous. Republicans and right-wingers say they screenshot NFT's. This is not an harmless joke, they try to demonstrate how 'worthless' NFT's (abbreviation for: N****r(s) for Trade) are. Stop NFT's. Make a hashtag and cancel 'em. Cut off people that trade NFT's. Stop racism.
January 2022

NFTs

Cryptocurrency

workout with forsen

twitchquotes: Hello everyone, I don’t know if this is the place to say this but since bunch of females have been coming out saying people have sexually assaulted them I as a male need to get this off my chest. I met forsen one year ago at the gym lockerroom when he was doing two streams with workout in between. He said why I was wearing a jabroni outfit and I said β€œfuck you”, he responded back with β€œno fuck you leatherman” and things got heated up.
twitch chat
July 2020
Forsen

KappaPride

Mario

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–“β–“β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
ascii art
November 2014

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

Buying calls on Gamestop

I can't believe that after fifteen years of trading, my best trade of all time is going to be buying calls on fucking Gamestop.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

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