[Copypasta] Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022
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Fapping to Reynad

twitchquotes: anyone else fap to reynad?
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March 2014
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Top Lel

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–€โ– โ–โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ– โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ– โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–€โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
November 2014

How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?

I bought a $1000+ sex doll which weighs almost 100 pounds and has a metal skeleton and silicone outside. It's like 5'3 and looks very realistic. I bought it when I was drunk like 2 years ago and didn't cancel the order the next day as I forgot I even ordered it; it showed up on my doorstep like 10 days later in a huge box... I tried to use it once but it is impossible to use because its so cold lol. I have it buried under clothes that I don't wear anymore in my walk-in closet for almost 2 years and every time I have a girl over I have to keep the closet locked and I even have to tell my cleaner to clean all rooms aside from my walk-in closet as I am embarrassed by it. I NEVER litter but I don't know what to do with it. I really want to put it in the back of my truck and dump it in the woods somewhere but I know that is a shit thing to do and will not do it. How can I dispose of it in a environmentally safe way without driving to a dump and looking like I am disposing of a dead body or having the workers laugh at me? I can't cut it up into pieces and put it into trash bags as the skeleton is metal and I just don't have the tools to do it; its a really legit sex doll it is super high quality. My apartment complex has a huge dumpster but its all on camera; should I just go there super late at night and throw it in there? The dumpster is on camera and its for "trash only" it says no metal and no boxes. Anyone have an answer on how to dispose of this thing by myself, quietly and without anyone seeing me? Thanks !! EDIT: Lots of weirdos getting angry at me because I "fabricated this" story/question. She just got a (SFW) photo shoot for you so shut up. https://ibb.co/album/xKkCs1
July 2021

Another response to "who asked?"

I am so tired of you always saying who asked. What if no one asked? Can I not speak up and say something when no one has asked? If everyone did this then no one would ever speak. I think I'm allowed to say what I want. Even if no one asked.
November 2021

Who Asked?

Same

twitchquotes: The time was 1:53 AM. This is the last game of my plat promos. The season will end in 7 minutes. We're down by bot turret with our team as we push our lead. I see Scott rolling in as Rammus, traveling at a speed that would put Sonic himself to shame. His words echo through my $5 earbuds. "I'M GOING IN!" I pause to take in the world around me. I can do anything right now. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limits no longer apply to me. I gather the strength in my forefinger as I slowly lift it over my R key. I say...no, I yell, with the ferocity of a million suns, the single word that could be heard around the world. "Same!" Galio prepares himself before leaping into the air, and delivering a devastating blow to the enemies' backline. We did it. The enemy team retreats back into their low elo. I was platinum. With a farewell to Scott for his outstanding work, I drag myself to my bed, ready to fall asleep. My phone chimes. Checking the notifications, I saw only one. A text from Clown9 Sneaky. The message brought a tear to my eye. The message simply read: โ€œIโ€™m proud of you.โ€ Now very emotional, I typed a reply. "Same."
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

League of Legends

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