[Copypasta] Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Please refrain from likening us to plebeians

twitchquotes: Twitch streamers and their subscribers define us (not subscribed audience) as members of a lower social class, plebs as they call it. I find it inappropriate to compare us with ancient Rome's lowest class as there is nothing ignominious to being a member of the proletariat. Also their living standards were significantly inferior to ours (e.g. health, education) so the comparison is unsound. In the future, please refrain from likening us to plebeians because descriminating due to economic and social status like that is reprehensible in our modern society.
twitch chat
November 2018

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6.84 dota patch was found dead at his hotel room

twitchquotes: Breaking News : Much expected 6.84 dota patch was found dead at his hotel room. Police suspects gunshot wounds found at victims body might be caused from a long range rifle. Witnesses reported "Hoho" "Haha" sounds was heared right before shooting.
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April 2015
Dendi

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sneaky sometimes your screaming wakes me up

twitchquotes: sneaky everytime i go to sleep i turn your stream on so i can fall asleep to your voice, sometimes your screaming wakes me up but at least i dont hear my dad beating my mom in the other room :)
twitch chat
June 2019
Sneaky

CSGO rage

The only reason, the only reason you’re all laughing is because you don’t understand that I also played in a team before and it’s actually proper CS and not the kind of shit you play. I’m not gonna play matchmaking with you all because you’re all fucking useless anyway. You know why you’re better than me? Do you know why? Shut the fuck up you cunts. Tell me the answer, come on you fucking retards, laugh all you want you fucking dumbasses, honestly, fuck this. You’re all having a laugh and I’m trying to play a game and actually do something and fucking win. Fuck my dick.
April 2022

CSGO

gachiGASM

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–„β–“β–‘β–’β–„β–„β–„β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–€β–’β–€β–’β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–“β–’β–“β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–€β–„β–’β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘
April 2016

KappaPride

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Text-to-Speech Playing