[Copypasta] Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Ben Shapiro counts to one million

So today, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they are in my kid, and then Ben Shapiro kicks open the door. "Oh you think it's impressive that they can count to ten? I can count to one million." and then proceeded, in my living room for the next two weeks, to count to one million. He then said "yep, another libtard destroyed" and then curbstomped my kid.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

#JusticeForHuffer

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

It's not TOP totem, it's BOTTOM totem

twitchquotes: Kripp... In the cultures that use a totempole it's the ones on the bottom that have the most respect and are generally elders/seers. The top of the pole are the scrublords that barely deserve the recognition. So top totem is INCORRECT. It's BOTTOM totem.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front

twitchquotes: Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front. When it comes to sexuality, I'm about as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on to me, I'd be like, "No way, bro. I'm a straight-up party boy who's into chicks." Yup, one gay dude wouldn't stand a chance. It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me. Sorry, fellas, that's just how straight I am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like, "Hey look! There goes George Michael!" And they'd all shriek "Where?!" at once, and I'd make a break for it, and they'd be like, "He's getting away! Chase him! I want his butt!" But I wouldn't just give them my butt. They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, I'd stop fighting it because that would be giving them what they want. And I don't want them to enjoy it. If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy I find them and letting them know how much I'm enjoying myself. So, even though I'd have a bunch of ripped guys all taking turns on my butt, I'd still be enjoying it. But only because I forced myself to. It's not like I could fight these guys off. There are too many of them and they want me too much. What am I, Chuck Norris?" I'm not against homosexuality, though. I say to each his own. You're free to do whatever you want.
twitch chat
February 2020

KappaPride

Clash Royale chicken emote

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡖⠛⡲⠤⣀⢰⠋⠉⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠒⠛⠛⡶⠳⠇⠀⠑⣹⠀⠀⡰⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⡔⠑⢄⡠⠐⠒⠣⢤⠊⠑⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢧⣀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢂⢀⣈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠋⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠠⣀⣀⡀⠔⡁⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠈⡖⠲⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⢀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣴⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⡾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀
November 2021

Clash Royale

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