[Copypasta] Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Twitch Chat Examination Team

twitchquotes: Hello this is the Twitch Chat Examination Team here with anther experiment. We are testing how quickly a message typed into chat is copied and pasted by the mindless hordes. Please, if you're reading this, spread awareness for our cause.
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie

What is inside that taco? Reynad's tournament wins

twitchquotes: TBTacoLeft TBTacoRight WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO TBTacoLeft TBCheesePull 0 TBCheesePull TBTacoRight OH NO IT'S REYNAD'S TOURNAMENT WINS LUL
twitch chat
May 2016
Reynad

Classic

Hearthstone

Dear Kripp, This is Twitch CEO Dick McPeenballs

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Smartest Man in Existence

twitchquotes: When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
twitch chat
October 2017

Rick and Morty

Happy Merchant

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢔⢒⡿⠯⠥⢦⣦⣾⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⢮⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⣿⣝⡴⡔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣦⣶⣿⣿⣯⣿⢽⠁⢰⣢⣶⣦⣌⠠⠴⠆⠘⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⢂⠘⢻⢛⣛⠿⣝⠁⠀⠼⣁⡴⣖⣫⠙⠙⠿⡳⡅⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠂⠰⠀⠀⠈⡄⢠⢓⣺⢇⡇⣊⠐⠀⠉⠁⠲⠒⠀⠀⠀⠑⠅⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣨⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠰⢸⠄⠄⣸⣷⡦⣄⢤⠄⢄⡀⣀⠤⠠⡀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⠁⠙⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⠘⢠⣿⣟⣿⣿⣪⣮⣶⣸⣮⣖⣢⣌⠁⠀⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⢝⣻⣯⣿⢿⡫⢺⡩⠍⣉⣉⣨⡗⠉⠂⠊⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡈⠂⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⡸⣹⡿⣿⣯⣷⣱⣙⠫⠧⠷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⢉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠕⣻⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⡷⣶⣾⠿⠒⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢇⠻⠽⣿⡿⢟⣿⣻⡟⠁⠰⣯⡕⡰⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢩⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠬⣍⠱⠨⠯⠛⠙⢏⠀⢀⡀⣨⡀⠤⢚⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠄⠰⡶⠲⢦⠓⠍⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⢀⠄⠊⠉⠙⠑⠒⠊⠉⠀⠀
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing