[Copypasta] Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

New banger (from r/conservativerap)

Aye ๐Ÿ˜‚ Yuh ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘€ Uh ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜ค Skrrrt ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿค” I ๐Ÿ‘ hate ๐Ÿ˜ก people ๐Ÿ‘ซ who have a different ๐Ÿ˜ก skin ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘‘ color ๐ŸŽจ from me (x32) instrumental ๐ŸŽบ break ๐Ÿ’” I ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘€ hate ๐Ÿ˜ก๐ŸŒš people ๐Ÿ‘ซ who have a different ๐Ÿ‘€โ“โ‰ skin ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘‘ color ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ from me (x32)
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Catarrian hungry

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Catarrian here. Far too long have I meowed and you've ignored my plea for food. Here you are bragging to everybody about the militant "vegan" that you are, yet you neglect animals. It's time everybody knows the truth meow so we can report your sorry Romanian *** to PETA.แ•™เป’(หต๏ฟฃแดฅ๏ฟฃหต)เฅญแ•—
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Everyone please STOP SPAMMING

twitchquotes: Everyone, please STOP SPAMMING, it is very INCONSIDERATE of the folks who are trying to have REAL CONVERSATIONS. Plz no copy pastarino Frappaccino-mochaccino-capuccino, macarino Eddie Pasterino pepperoncino kakaino poopieino peepeeino dickarino assarino skillswiperino salterino bad-luckerino Al Pacino with his dongerino in San Bernardino.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Obey the call of Kripp'Thuzad

twitchquotes: เผผ ยบู„อŸยบ เผฝ Minions, (เธ‡ โ€ขฬ€_โ€ขฬ)เธ‡ servants, <:::::[]=ยคเผผเบˆู„อœเบˆเผฝ๏พ‰ soldiers of the cold dark, obey the call of ( อกส˜โ•ญอœส–โ•ฎอกส˜) Kripp'Thuzad ( อกส˜โ•ญอœส–โ•ฎอกส˜)!!!
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

I remember a time when copypasta was biting satire

twitchquotes: I remember a time when copypasta was biting satire and prophetic indictments of contemporary Twitch chat. Copypasta when I was a younger teenager had the potency to topple Nazi moderatorships and revolutionize new chat epochs. Even the truncation of "copypasta" to "pasta" shows a lack of eloquence that speaks volumes. If, like me, you are a product of those better times and wish to see them return then speak out. Let the memers and Toucans know that real copypasta back.
twitch chat
July 2015

MODS

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing