[Copypasta] Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020
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xqcTOS (emote)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠁⠀⠘⠛⠛⠿⠿⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠉⢻⣿⣿⠛⠋⠀⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⠻⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠿⠇⠀⠀ ⢠⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀⢿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⡆⠀⠸⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡆⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⣤⣤⣴⣿⡇⠀⠀⢤⣤⣶⣾⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠈⠉⠉⠉⢉⣩⣤⣄⣀⣀⣉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⠘⣻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠟⠃⠀ ⢿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⠀ ⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢛⣿⣄⠈⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2021
xQcOW

Kripp you promised to start a cooking show soon

twitchquotes: Hey Kripparino riparino, I know you love your Hearthstone but you promised your loving father that you would start a cooking show soon. The gig is up, after this game you must Gordon Ramsay us one splendarino disharoni.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Your Social Credit score increased

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⡃⡛⠈⣹⣋⣲⡐⠂⢸⡇⡘⢣⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠈⠹⢿⣠⠄⢸⣿⠄⠶⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⠰⠸⠤⢿⣡⣓⡒⡂⣒⡇⢃⢶⠄⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⣰⣾⣿⠄⢸⣟⠛⠿⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣶⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣷⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣃⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣈⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠷⣤⡼⠋⡉⠻⡿⢉⡉⢻⠉⢹⠋⣉⠛⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⣍⣴⣴⢴⣾⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡏⠙⠷⠄⠄⠘⠟⠄⣇⠸⠟⢻⠄⢸⠄⠶⠄⣇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠚⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⣿⣿⣿⠃⠐⠒⠠⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢻⠟⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠙⠃⠄⢻⣿⡇⠄⠄⡔⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⡀⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⣶⣦⣼⠉⢉⡝⠉⡉⠙⡏⢉⡁⢸⠁⣏⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡆⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⢱⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠛⠋⢹⠄⢸⣇⠄⠖⠲⡇⠻⠃⢸⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣷⡄⠸⡀⠄⢡⠰⠄⠄⡎⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣶⣾⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣶⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣵⣀⢸⢀⢀⣨⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
October 2021

Dr DisRespect

⣿⠄⡇⢸⣟⠄⠁⢸⡽⠖⠛⠈⡉⣉⠉⠋⣁⢘⠉⢉⠛⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣶⣷⣤⠄⣠⠖⠁⠄⠂⠁⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠎⠄⠠⠎⢐⠄⢑⣛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠓⠨⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠐⠅⠄⠉⠄⠗⠆⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡣⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣤⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠔⠿⡿⠿⠒⠄⠠⢤⡀⡀⠄⠁⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡖⠄⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⠟⡖⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣠⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣧⠄⠂⠸⣈⡏⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡿⢻⡿⣻⣶⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡷⡂⠄⠄⠁⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣶⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⡿⠁⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⢈⣿⡇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣥⣬⣿⣿⣟⣿⠃⠄⠨⠺⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠱⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣬⣸⡝⠿⢿⣿⡿⣿⠻⠟⠻⢫⡁⠄⠄⠄⡐⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⡜⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠆⡐⡇⢿⣽⣻⣷⣦⣧⡀⡀⠄⠄⣴⣺⡇⠄⠁⠄⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠡⠱⠄⠄⠡⠄⢠⣷⠆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠠⠁⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⣲⣧⣷⣿⢂⣄⡉⠄⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣻⣯⠿⠟⠋⠉⢰⢦⠄⠊⢾⣷⣮⣽⣛
November 2018
DrDisRespectLIVE

LEGO Yoda CBT lyrics

[Verse 1] Crush my cock with a rock I must. Maximum pain I must endure. Ok, here we go. [Chorus] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
January 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing