[Copypasta] Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020
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β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œ ──────────▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▄ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β–€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œ β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ 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twitchquotes: Everytiem kripp topdick, i well met all over myself Kreygasm
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twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” β”β˜†οΎŸ. * ο½₯ ο½‘οΎŸβ˜†οΎŸ. * TWITCH RAIN゚ ο½‘οΎŸβ˜†. * ο½₯ ο½‘οΎŸβ˜†β” β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch
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twitchquotes: Hey what's up kripp, it's jeremy your neighbor! I see you're in the office again and playing animated poker - hope everythings well with the wife and garden. Say that lawnmower you borrowed last month; I was wondering when I could expect that back because I noticed your lawn was trimmed no less than three weeks ago but you have yet to bring back my mower. Anyhow , could use that mower. Just checking in but it would be great if I could get that mower back. Thanks again.
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March 2018
Kripp

Stream snipers

twitchquotes: One day, the Papa asks Kripp to go fishing, Kripp shrugs, β€œAlright, but catch and release only – I’m vegan.” They arrive at the local pristine clear waters of an Ontario stream brimming with wild trout and prepare to fish. Suddenly Kripp shouts, β€œGet down!”. A crack sounds through the air, and the Papa sees Kripp on the ground bleeding. His final words are, β€œFucking stream snipers.”
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Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing