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So I went into work and I started working. I decided to install Among Us to play, right? But my boss was walking by and said "Hey, why are you playing video games on the work computer?" I said that I was playing Among Us and asked him if he was uncultured. He told me to get out so I said "Quit being sus." And I did the funny imposter is sus grin you guys know? And I slapped his face and yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING!" Everybody in the office was looking at me like I just murdered several bosnian children. So I pulled out my dick and said "Look at this little spaceman!" I took off my pants and ran around the office with my dick flying around. The buff guy, Chad, was chasing me but I just got behind him and humped him. I said "good imposters get butt humps." He screamed and punched me. I ran out work not wanting to work with a bunch of REDDITORPHOBES.

Among us has ruined a generation. Everywhere I go, I see their divisor. It can't be stopped. I go shopping and I find among us mini figures. I look online for a better bin, and then I find a trash can with a red colour, and I can't stop myself saying "HAHA THATS A BIT SUSSY!" I look for champion clothes, but hold on- if you rotate the c it turns into- oh no... Gen Z wont stop saying a sentence without the word SUS in it. SOS? SUS. I go to Mcdonalds to cheer myself up, but while browsing through my phone, I find that a nugget in the shape of AMOGUS sold for over $1000 dollars, I only wanted peace, but innersloth has become a bit sussy.

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pal breeding, Lovander is the most compatible Pal for humans? Not only are they in the mammal group, which is mostly comprised of compatible pals, Lovander are able to take four jobs, this means they are well versatile and can accommodate any fantasy you wish, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to the move "Acid Rain" , you can be rough with one. Due to their passive ability, "Heart Drain" they are able to easily suck you out, then life-steal ejaculate to restore some of your HP. You could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They also drop the items, cake, mushroom, suspicious juice, and strange juice. So it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their Level 2 Handiwork suitability, No other Pal comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, in the Pal's description, Lovander is known for breeding with humans as other Pals don't give her enough satisfaction. Lovander is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Rain means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

Did you just think that you could fucking fool me with that comment of yours? I've searched your name up in the Navy SEAL database and you have never even graduated BUD/S, hell, even served in the Armed Forces. If you were actually a Navy SEAL, then you actually know how to spell guerrilla, you fucking moron. And you say you are the top sniper in the entire US Armed Forces and have over 300 confirmed kills. If that were true, then why the fuck is Chris Kyle a household name and you aren't? And plus he only had 160 kills. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. Plus why the fuck would you say you have a secret network of spies yet you just revealed that you had your secret network of spies? Are you a fucking idiot? If you can kill someone seven-hundred different ways, then list them all, I bet you can't even come up with seven. And if you had access to the entire US Marine Corps arsenal, then why the fuck did you just say you were in the Navy SEALs earlier? If only you could have done your research prior to posting your little “clever” comment, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you goddamn idiot.

So today, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they are in my kid, and then Ben Shapiro kicks open the door. "Oh you think it's impressive that they can count to ten? I can count to one million." and then proceeded, in my living room for the next two weeks, to count to one million. He then said "yep, another libtard destroyed" and then curbstomped my kid.

I will upload it to here when I get home for anyone interested but I’ll tell you now to call it a “hardcore porn” is a fucking disgrace and an actual insult to the many ACTUAL hardcore actresses that get spat on and are almost brought to tears from the sheer fucking power. You literally get to see maybe 8-12% of her vagina, the main thing you see is literally her boyfriends cock filling the space and her sticking some fucking shrek dildo in her ass. It’s honestly a new fucking low tbh, yeah she gets fucked in the ass a bit, but she specifically positions herself so you cannot see anything except maybe a crumb of flaps and once again her boyfriends dick. I mean her boyfriends not even fucking hot he’s got some average ass cock and some dutty dad bod. Honestly i had been considering unsubbing if she fucked us over with this shit and I honestly think this classified as a bait. Who cares about her getting fucked if you literally don’t see the cum shot over her vagina? Yeah like I’m gonna beat it to this guys crusty ballsack and her tiny asshole I’ve seen many times already. Absolutely appalled at it, 12 mins or so of pure shit

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?