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514 copypastas found.

Ben Shapiro sings the South Park theme song

So lets say, hypothetically, that I was going down to South Park to have myself a 'time'. In this hypothetical situation, there are friendly folks who are completely devoid of temptation. Now, because I am going down to South Park, it is safe to assume that I would be leaving my woes behind. Now, hypothetically, when I arrive, there is ample parking during both the hours of the day and the night, and the media would be saying "howdy neighbor." OK liberal, now that we've established that, lets say next that I was to head up to South Park. I would then, hypothetically, be testing to see if I would be able to unwind in South Park. I would also like to mention that, as a conservative white male, I find large female genitalia to be very attractive. So, I will finish off my argument by stating that the liberal media should come on down to South Park and meet some acquaintances of mine, including my wife (who is a doctor).
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Gonna go against the grain here and say YTA

Gonna go against the grain here and say YTA. Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with you? I simply can’t fucking believe that you would make such an idiotic decision. You’re a disgusting little crawly lobotomite and you deserve to perish in a dark deep abyss where you belong. I’ve gone ahead and removed one reddit upvote from your account by “downvoting” this comment. I hope you rethink your actions in the future. Fuck you.
August 2021

Am I The Asshole?

Yuumi this, Yuumi that

twitchquotes: Yuumi this, Yuumi that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

How I got into Harvard

Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)
December 2020

Rick and Morty

Stop saying the word cum

Stop saying the word cum so much are you fucking retarded? What's so funny about semen? AHAHAHAHA CUM COOM CAM CAM HAHAHA LOOK AT ME. SEXSEXSEXX AAAHHAAHAH!!!!!!SHUT THE FUCK UP MAKE IT STOP. Me (M18) and my gf (F19) were doing the good sexy sex when I decided to browse Reddit and then I see it: CUM!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYY??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????? THATS SO FUCKING DISGUSTING AND IMMATURE AND MY GF LEFT ME AFTER SHE READ THAT! THATS SO FUNNY FOR YOU ISN'T IT???? ISNT IT WHAT YOU WANTED??? NOONE RUINS MY SEX SEXY SEX SEX WITH MY FEMALE COMPANION. Sincerely, FUCK YOU
April 2022

Dragon maid booba vs. Konosuba booba

July 2021

NSFW

what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022

me preds egg rolls

twitchquotes: last week i was out really late walking through a dark alley and out of nowhere i hear "me preds" then a small asian boy wearing a kakashi cosplay came out of nowhere screaming "me preds" over and over telling me to sell my kogmaws and reksais. The same guy got me again today but this time he was saying something about egg rolls .
twitch chat
December 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Logan Paul Japanese Forest

ay yo what's up #logang today we're going to be heading in the #japanesesuicideforest here in japan, but first of all make sure to smash that like button, share this video, and subscribe for more vlogs like this one right here, also make sure to follow me on twitter, instagram google +, and like my page on facebook and pintrest. before heading in here i just wanna say suicide is not a joke but is that a dead body i'm not fucking with ya'll let's get the camera in there. as you can see this person is dead if you don't want to end up like him make sure you stay subscribed you know he probably ain't have no friends but if your in the #logang you know logan is your best friend haha chilling anyways thanks for watching guys and i won't be monetizing this video but make sure to check out my merch in the description, and dont forget to like share and subscribe and peace out #logang haha
December 2018

Transcript of Will Smith and his wife

Jada: Are you going to let him speak about me like that? Will: What, it was funny, you were terrible in G.I. Jane J: I wasn't in G.I. Jane, Will W: Oh, then why did he say that? J: It was a joke about my hair!! W: Girl, you ain't got no hair J: THATS THE POINT WILL!! W: Ohh. ohhhh. OH Hell No!!
March 2022

Will Smith Slap

Things are looking up for me (and down for you)

twitchquotes: I don’t need you. There are a whole lot of other streamers that deserve my time and support. As they say there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Fish without husbands too... you liar skank. I will no longer be dedicating 1/3 of my day to moderating your chat. Let the wildebeests roam... and if you need me, I’ll be in STPeach’s chat from now on. You may not know this but I actually do watch her streams after yours are over. And I’ve been a 6 month subscriber as well... I donated her $30 the other day and said her outfit looked cute - she said I’m a sweetheart. Things are looking up for me (and down for you). This is where I bid farewell to you, have fun being a liar bitchface.
twitch chat
May 2020

Simps

React Andys constantly pausing the YouTube video

twitchquotes: Streamer the thing is, im just gonna be honest, i really dont care what u have to say, ur words mean nothing to me. But this video...this video means everything to me. And u keep pausing to speak, this feels like a personal attack. Please resume the video and shut the fuck up.
twitch chat
April 2021
Mizkif

Navy Seals Copypasta in Yoda Language

You just fucking say about me what the fuck did, you little bitch? Graduated top of my class in the navy seals I have, and involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda I've been, over 300 confirmed kills and I have. Trained in gorilla warfare and the top sniper in the entire us armed forces I am. Hing to me but just another target you are not. Never been seen before on this earth. Wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has, I will, mark my fucking words. You can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet you think? Again think, fucker. Contacting my secret network of spies across the USA I am, and being traced right now your IP is. So prepare for the storm as we speak, you better ,maggot. Your life the storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call. Fucking dead, you are, kid. Anywhere I can be, anytime, and kill you in over seven hundred ways, I can , and with my bare hands ,that's just . Extensively trained in unarmed combat not only am I, access to the entire arsenal of the united states marine corps, I also have, and use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, I will, you little shit. Known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you if only you could have. Held your fucking tongue maybe you would have. But you couldn't, you didn't, the price and now you're paying, you goddamn idiot. shit fury all over you, I will and drown in it, you will. Fucking dead, you are kiddo.
December 2020

Navy Seal

YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™

twitchquotes: If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLY™ makes my writing better. As a student I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLY™ around my freshman year because I was just... H O R R I B L E... at typing! Grammarly™ is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLY™ for important emails, social media posts (which there are a L O T of.) I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarly™ is by far the BEST for improving your writing. GRAMMARLY™ is making me a better writer. AND it's free... I would recommend GRAMMARLY™ if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.
twitch chat
August 2019

RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022

What is so funny about copypasta?

What is so funny about copypasta? Someone put a lot of time in writing out a wall of text, and all you do is just copy and paste it? Unbelievable. Freaking unbelievable. It is so fucking disrespectful for the original writter to have his thoughts repeated over and over just for some kind of sick joke. You fools know the navy seal copypasta, right? People chuckle at it because he was "very mad". Well, think about it, motherfucker. What if he WAS very mad? What if he actually had feelings and his day was ruined? Ever think about it like that? No, of course not. You tools just took his words over and over and used it for shits and giggles. How fucking rude. At this point, my 3 page essay on why I think cancel culture is cancer could be used as a copypasta. That is just fucking wrong on so many levels. I'm not going to write out a copypasta myself, because I don't want my words to be shat out over and over again. I'm just expressing my thoughts and feelings on the abuse of copypasta. It just needs to fucking stop
January 2020

I encountered a racist homophobic dreamphobe today.

I joined a discord server yesterday. My discord status was: "💚 please give me your cum daddy dream! i want to fuck that smiley face of yours 😪😪😪". I am a dreamgender, and I support Dream and will continue to support him until I am out of cum. Anyways, back to the story. Now, this fucking stupid mod DMs (Dream Messages) me. What does he says? He says the following. "Your discord status is against our server rules, please remove or change your status. If you do not do this, we will have to ban/kick you." Then, I immediately told the moderator that I am a 13 dreamgender girl. He didn't give a shit. I thought ALL moderators could get seduced. That was a fucking lie. Ugh! Anyways, we started arguing about how my status is extremely SFW and wholesome (i am obviously right.) I told him that i anted to speak with the manager. So, he created a group chat with me, the owner, and himself. I explained him the situation, how the moderator was a racist pedophile dreamphobe homophobe and a groomer. The owner did NOT believe me; a fellow Dreamgender person. I was so mad that I punched my dream themed computer so hard. Then, I realized what i had done. I punched my daddy dream monitor. I immediately DMd dream about this on twitter. I wrote a 20000 word apology to him. I was so depressed after my daddy dream monitor was gone. Then, I logged to Discord on my dream themed phone. I could not believe what had happened. I got a DM from MEE6 saying that I got banned for the reason "inappropriate status". I was so mad. I immediately DM'd the owner about this. He didn't care, and he had the audacity to block a fellow DREAMGENDER person. I could not believe it. How could someone be this racist and dreamphobic? I cried myself to sleep that night and decided that I should go to therapy. Please tell me, r/dreamgender! What should I do about this? I already called the entire swat team on this discord moderator after he said that "Dream sucks", but it seemed like the swat did not care at all! Please, dream community. Let's get together and end this moderator's life! R/DREAMGENDER, ASSEMBLE! 💚🤍🖤💚🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍
June 2021

Dreamgender

Discord

Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020

"lmao" should be banned. "lol" is better.

An Unpopular Opinion: "lmao" is used too much on the internet. First, I'd like to start with an analysis, if you will. L - Laughing - describing a sense of funniness M My - referring to the self as the consumer of the humour A Arse - referring to a part of the human anatomy to form a slightly offensive reference reinforcing the laugh reaction O Off - ^^^ "lmao" is commonly used on the internet and especially forums or chat services to express enjoyment of a joke. In some ways, it is parallel of "lol", meaning "laughing out loud". This is one of the most seen acronyms used across the internet. "lmao" is spelled with an L at the front, which in lowercase appears like a capital I. Therefore, newcomers to the internet may try to pronounce it as "eye-may-oh", where in fact the general consensus is "ell-em-ay-oh" (to pronounce as an acronym) or "yl-may-oh" (to pronounce phonetically). The fundamental concept that the pronouncing is not clear cut obviously shows that "lol" is the superior (and far more commonly used historically, as "lol" has been searched for consistently since 2004 while "lmao" only became mainstream around 2015, at a significantly lesser volume to "lol") acronym. "lol" is simple, clear-cut and phonetically easy to pronounce. In fact, if I was to write the pronunciation into text, it would be the same thing as the acronym essentially. Second, the use of "arse". This may not offend a lot of people, but the inclusion of a word that may be rude or inappropriate to say for children in an acronym that may be used in places in the internet where children are. In "lol", no potentially rude words are included and the term is harmless. According to Ofcom, the British broadcasting regulator, "arse" is just as rude as "bloody" or "goddamn" and is considered mild. In conclusion, "lmao"'s use as a drop-in for "lol" is unacceptable. It should be only used to reflect and react to extremely funny jokes or messages, and should not replace "lol". "lol" is clearly easier to pronounce, more acceptable to children, and and is generally an easier to look at acronym.
July 2021

How to win any Internet argument

May 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing