About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory
twitchquotes:
I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
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I hate Twitch Chat
Send nudes but fancy
Pardon me Madam, but I was curious as to what you look like under those tasteful fabrics you are wearing. Perhaps you would do me the honor of removing them and photographing your perfect skin so I can gaze upon your beauty?
Lonely Moby Dick
twitchquotes:
So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
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I put my cursor over Kripp's and pretend we're holding hands
twitchquotes:
(โโฟโโฟ) sometimes... when i have a bad day.... I put my cursor over Kripp's and pretend that we're holding hands (โโฟโโฟ)
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Last week I saw Wardell while in line at the bank
twitchquotes:
Last week I saw Wardell while in line at the bank. He was wearing 13 rolexes and a chain made out of protein powder so I asked how he had so much money. He said "WATCH THIS", pulled out a glock and robbed the bank for $31,203. Then he double updrafted and dashed out of the store...
twitch chat
WARDELL