About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Stop spamming your emojis
twitchquotes:
Hey guys, I would greatly appreciate if you stop spamming your 'emojis'. I am trying to watch this stream in peace but you ANIMALS are disrupting my time. I will go to complain on r/DotA2 if you continue. Thanks
twitch chat
I hate Twitch Chat
Dota 2
MLK day emojipasta
heyyy 👋 Marthin Luther QUEENS 👯♀️ i have a dream 😴 🛌 that you will be dicked 🍆 down ⬇️ tonight like DADDY 👨🏿🦳 Martin Luther King Jr. would have wanted 😌✊🏿 so MARCH 🚶♀️ on down ⬇️ to his washington monument 🇺🇸 and have a SIT IN 🧎♀️ on that DICK 🍆🍆 Make sure to ABOLISH his KKKOCK 🗽 like a TRUE PATRIOT 🗽 segregate those cheeks 🍑 tonight it doesn’t matter 🙅♀️ if his fountain 🍆💦 is BLACK or WHITE 🤝 we are all CUMRADES 💦💦 in the fight against discrimination 😍 SOAK those PANTIFA 🩲 our TWERK is not over ‼️ SEND this 📤 to ✌️ every WOKE HOE 🤯 you know 🆘 Get 2️⃣0️⃣ BACK to END racism ✊ and UNITE the races in SEXUAL 👉👌 HARMONY ☮️
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
MLK Day
Krepo and a 14 year old
twitchquotes:
"So my girlfriend the other day asked if she could roleplay as a 14 year old while we were having sex. I was like what the fuck? That shit's gross. You're gonna be 14 in like two years anyways." - Krepo 2016
twitch chat
Sneaky
League of Legends
Middle finger
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Did you ever hear the tragedy of the man who fell into the river in Lego city?
Did you ever hear the tragedy of the man who fell into the river in Lego city? I thought not. It's not a story the Playmobils would tell you. It's a LEGO legend. Man Lego was a Dark Lord of building, so powerful and so wise he could use the bricks to influence the constructions to create rescue helicopters… He had such a knowledge of building that he could even keep the ones he cared about from falling. The dark side of the LEGOs is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice threw him into the river in LEGO city. Ironic. He could rescue others from the river, but not himself.