About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Squid game has ruined my life
Squid Game has ruined my life. I can’t look at a PS4 controller without bursting out in laughter because it remind me of the guards. The electrical room from among us already ruined my fucking life and now the signs on it gives me a fucking heart attack because squid game. Shape toys? THE FUCKING GUARD SIGNS AGAIN! Pineapple guy is player #001? Wtf. The neutral emoji I can’t even look at it it turns into player #456 in my sleep. Nikocado Avocado has a square sign on his chest I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT HE WAS A SQUARE GUARD WTF!!! I can’t even eat doritos because of squid game. I can’t even play fucking splatoon because of that horrible squid game. The 🌝 emoji just fucking turns into the doll from the first game and I can’t make it stop. I wanna fucking kill myself my life is fucking ruined
Squid Game
Subscribers pay for our entertainment
twitchquotes:
ᕕ༼ •́ ヮ •̀ ༽凸 Hey SUBS, YOU PAY FOR OUR ENTERTAINMENT 
ᕕ༼ •́ ヮ •̀ ༽凸!!!
ᕕ༼ •́ ヮ •̀ ༽凸!!!
twitch chat
Kripp
plebs vs subs
Come up with something original for once
twitchquotes:
Is this chat so unoriginal that it has to copy and paste other peoples' messages? It's not funny and gets a bit repetitive. Come up with something original for once, and maybe you will find that people enjoy your messages. Perhaps you may even get a gifted sub for your troubles.
twitch chat
I hate Twitch Chat
In Japan, heart surgeon
Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.
My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
Classic
Reynad shows us how to throw a game of Hearthstone
twitchquotes:
(⌐ ͡▢ ͜ʖ ͡▢) Now watch closely Twitch Chat as Reynad shows us how to throw a game of Hearthstone. (⌐ ͡▢ ͜ʖ ͡▢)
twitch chat
Reynad