About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
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Top secret highly classified storingo
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My name is Edmond Krune from Australia. I work with the Australian border patrol and we have been receiving multiple immigrants by the name of "imaqtpie". After assembling intelligence from all our data bases we have traced it down to this website. Please make sure to stop immigrating into Australia Mr. imaqtpie. Please do not copy and paste this top secret highly classified storingo dogeringo.
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imaqtpie
See you in court
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Hello Kripp, this is Anne, just letting you know that the DNA test came back positive and I will be seeing you in court to get my child support. Oh and btw she is now 4 years old and asking where is daddy ***, either way see you in court..
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I hate spam, its so overrated. Thank you mods for keeping our chat experience so pristine and enjoyable! 
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A physicist called Octavian
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The year is 2027. A physicist called Octavian has created the first inter-dimensional portal capable of exploring alternate galaxies. "Finally, I have done it..." he says as he steps into the portal. He enters a room where he sees himself giving a "Brofist" to his computer. His only reaction: " 
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Kripp
This is why eSports will never...
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This is why eSports will never hit the general public as hard as for instance soccer. the way you kids are spamming this chat is just ruining the whole experience for a grown man. Seriously. Grow up.
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