About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Full of acknowledgment of the farce he has become
twitch chat
Kripp
newbies in Summit's chat
twitchquotes:
wow, I can tell there are some newbies here in Summit's chat. listen, I've been watching him for almost 4 whole months now, and I know what he's about, so listen to me and I'll teach you. when SumSum (that's what vets call him here) plays SoT (that's Sea of Thieves) he plays sneaky and steals look. it's kind of his thing. haha
twitch chat
Summt1g
Spending New Year on Twitch Chat
twitchquotes:
No Friends 
π No Girlfriend π Spending New Year on Twitch Chat π Must be us chat
π No Girlfriend π Spending New Year on Twitch Chat π Must be us chat
twitch chat
Shrek is love. Shrek is life
I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.ο»Ώ
Shrek
Classic
Sneaky's bad TFT advice
twitchquotes:
Hello Mr. Zachary. My name is Inigo Montoya and you killed my chances of making it to Top 4. I listened to your advice when you said that Cavalier comp is βLIT.β Every time I play it I get a fast 8th. For that reason, Mr. Scuderi, prepare to die.
twitch chat
Sneaky