About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? Iβm 6.
This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
WallStreetBets
Am I The Asshole?
ForsenE Don't talk to me or my son ever again
twitchquotes:
don't talk to me or my son ever again 
don't talk to me or my son ever again
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Forsen
Copy and paste or get vaped
twitchquotes:
hello my name is Ethan i died Ripping a fat vape 10 years ago unless u send this to copy and paste this 10 times i will come show up in your room tonight and Rip fat clouds every night you have seven min to post it or else.
hello my name is Ethan i died Ripping a fat vape 10 years ago unless u send this to copy and paste this 10 times i will come show up in your room tonight and Rip fat clouds every night you have seven min to post it or else.
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VapeNation
Great Music, Extremely Handsome, Must be Reynad
twitchquotes:
(ββΏββΏ) Great Music (ββΏββΏ) Extremely Handsome (ββΏββΏ) Innovative Decks (ββΏββΏ) High Level Gameplay (ββΏββΏ) Moderately Sized Forehead (ββΏββΏ) Great Personality (ββΏββΏ) Large Donger (ββΏββΏ) Must be Reynad (ββΏββΏ)
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Reynad
Stop making fun of EU
twitchquotes:
Stop making fun of EU, we are the second best wildcard this year and it took these players work and dedication to stand next for real teams from real regions. This is a step closer for EU to be recognized as the best wildcard region.
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