About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
My name is Andrey, but most of you know me as Reynad
twitchquotes:
(β ΝΚ β) Hello! My name is Andrey, but most of you know me as Reynad! (β‘ ΝΚ β‘) I just lost another tournament (ΒΊ ΝΚ ΒΊ) But it's okay, I'll be a whiny baaby and complain about my luck
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Reynad
Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up
I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up.
The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers.
But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan π) role of boyfriend/guardian.
But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you...
BACK OFF...
This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
Maya
Simps
nl_Kripp can you stop it with all the salt?
twitchquotes:
nl_Kripp can you stop it with all the salt? I was trapped in a salt mine for 3 days straight without any water or food. I only survived by drinking my own urine and eating my toes. Every time I see you spitting salt everywhere it gives me terrible PTSD flashbacks. Thanks.
twitch chat
Kripp
salty
Just me and EA hanging out
twitchquotes:
Just me and π°πEAππ°, hanging out I wanted some Star Warsπ so I started to pout π He asked if I was down β¬for something yummy ππ and I asked what and he said he'd give me his π°π¦looties!π¦π° Yeah! Yeah!ππ¦ I earn them!π¦ I buy them!π¦ I purchase them wholeπ¦π° π It makes π°πEAππ° πhappyπ so it's my only goal... ππ¦π«Harder EA! Harder EA! π«π¦π 1 lootieπ¦, 2 lootieπ¦π¦, 3 lootieπ¦π¦π¦, 4π¦π¦π¦π¦ I'm π°πEA'sππ° πDisney princess πbut I'm also a consumer whore! π He makes me OPπ!He makes me feel goodπ! πππHe makes me feel everything a whale should!~ πππ ππ¦πWa-What!ππ¦πο»Ώ
twitch chat
I will now transform this human into a cat
twitchquotes:
I WILL NOW TRANSFORM THIS HUMAN INTO A CATβ°( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β° )γ€βββ -> -> -> 
twitch chat