[Copypasta] what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ry216i/comment/hrmismb/
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ascii art
April 2017

Pokemon

voting booth inspection is not required

twitchquotes: So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I thought he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Hello Kripp, this is Optimus Prime

twitchquotes: ๏ผจ๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ ๏ผซ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ผฏ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ“ ๏ผฐ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ผŽ ๏ผท๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ผฏ๏ผช ๏ฝ—๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝ… ๏ผด๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ผค๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“๏ผŽ ๏ผฐ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ–๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ–๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ… ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝƒ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ•๏ฝ” ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ผฎ๏ฝ๏ฝš๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ“๏ผŽ
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March 2014
Kripp

I have the biggest crush for streamer

twitchquotes: please do not read this, it is a private message i am posting here since notepad crashed after i downloaded that one movie. I have the biggest crush on debuz, his chiseled chest sends heart palpitations deep into my soul. His masculine elbows make my knees quiver ever so
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October 2021
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