[Copypasta] what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Why are we rioting?

twitchquotes: ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ riot ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. 100 years from now when I'm dying on a hospital bed and I'm asked what my biggest regret was it will be that I turned on my internet and scrolled through the internet on that fateful day... I will never be able to recover from this. No amount of therapy will save me. No amount of prescription pills will let me recover. I am a shell. This memory is so bad my brain is physically rejecting it and now I have a headache every time I think about it. Why did you post this, thinking it was a good idea? You've permanently ruined my life because of this, I hope you're happy. I hope that one day this gets branded as a war crime and you get hauled off to prison, never to see the light of day again. The fact that you're already not in a psych ward for insanity is so baffling I have lost all faith in every kind of justice system. If you subscribe to any religion, you'd best spend the rest of your time atoning for this ultimate sin. Have a terrible day, I hope this creation of yours haunts you in your dreams.
January 2021

Classic

Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021

If Kripp was a vacation he'd be nl_Tripp

twitchquotes: If Kripp was a vacation he'd be nl_Tripp 4Head If Kripp was a leaky pipe he'd be nl_Dripp 4Head If Kripp didn't wear a shirt he'd be nl_Nipp 4Head
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: 𝔻𝕠 π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 π•˜π•¦π•ͺ𝕀 π•žπ•šπ•Ÿπ•• π•Ÿπ• π•₯ π•€π•‘π•’π•žπ•žπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•₯𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕙𝕒π•₯ 𝕀𝕠 π•žπ•¦π•”π•™? 𝕀'π•ž 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝π•ͺ π•₯𝕣π•ͺπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•₯𝕠 𝕑𝕒π•ͺ 𝕒π•₯π•₯π•–π•Ÿπ•₯π•šπ• π•Ÿ π•₯𝕠 π•₯𝕙𝕖 𝕀π•₯π•£π•–π•’π•ž π•’π•Ÿπ•• π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 π•˜π•¦π•ͺ𝕀 𝕒𝕣𝕖 π••π•šπ•€π•₯𝕣𝕒𝕔π•₯π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•žπ•–. 𝕀𝕗 π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 π•˜π•¦π•ͺ𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝π•ͺ 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦π•₯ π•₯𝕙𝕖 π•’π•¦π•’π•π•šπ•₯π•ͺ 𝕠𝕗 π•₯𝕙𝕖 𝕀π•₯π•£π•–π•’π•ž 𝕠𝕣 π•„π• π• π•Ÿ π•™π•šπ•žπ•€π•–π•π•— π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕀π•₯𝕠𝕑 π•₯𝕙𝕖 π•€π•‘π•’π•žπ•žπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•’π•Ÿπ•• 𝕔𝕠𝕑π•ͺπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•’π•Ÿπ•• 𝕑𝕒𝕀π•₯π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜. 𝔾𝕠𝕕, 𝕀 𝕀𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕣 π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 π•˜π•¦π•ͺ𝕀 𝕒𝕣𝕖 π•₯𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕀π•₯ 𝕑𝕒𝕣π•₯ 𝕠𝕗 π•₯π•¨π•šπ•₯𝕔𝕙. β„‚π• π•¦π•π••π•Ÿ'π•₯ π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 𝕛𝕦𝕀π•₯ π•₯𝕣π•ͺ π•₯𝕠 𝕓𝕖 π•žπ•’π•₯𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 π• π•Ÿπ•”π•– π•šπ•Ÿ π•ͺ𝕠𝕦𝕣 π•π•šπ•—π•–?
twitch chat
February 2018
MOONMOON
Text-to-Speech Playing