[Copypasta] what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

HERE COMES DAT BOI

twitchquotes: ✋🐸✋🐸✋🐸✋🐸 o *** waddup 👋 here 🚲 come dat bଠi🚲🚲 right🚲🚲th 🐸 ere✋✋✋ dat 🐸 boi ✔🐸 ✔if dat boi 🐸 ƽai so 💯 i sai so 💯 thats what im talking about right there 🚲 o *** (chorus: ଠ sʰᶦᵗ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 ✋✋O0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ✋ ✋ ✋ ✋ 💯 🐸🐸🐸 👋👋 waddup
twitch chat
June 2016

Emoji Pasta

Master Yi is broken

Not likely. I bet you probably go 0/6 against him and come to Reddit afterwards to complain about him so you can feel better about losing. I'm 100% convinced that the same people who like to joke about a Master Yi's "thought process" are the same people who whine about Aatrox and Katarina because they haven't got a clue what grievous wounds is. Every champion has a counter, if you don't understand Master Yi's counter (jungle invading, timing abilities, proper itemization), then why do you bother to circlejerk the "Master Yi is broken" stereotype?
March 2021

League of Legends

forsenSleeper

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⡾⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣼⣿⣶⣿⣿⣦⣤⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⢣⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠛⣿⣿⠃ ⣿⣿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⠄⣸⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣤⣿⡟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢶⡿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣍⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄ ⡏⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣁⡹⠿⣿⣤⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠘ ⡇⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⣿⠄⠄⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⠻⣿⢛⡛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣆⠑⢎⠄⢀⡃⣼
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Sheldon says BAZINGA

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
April 2021

I want to fuck myself!

Now before you guys assume, i am not gay. I was messing around with a selfie of myself on faceapp and decided to use the female filter. As soon as i clicked the icon, my life was changed forever. Those lusious lips, the well defined jawline, the adorable eyes and those perfect eyebrows instantly gave me a hard on. Before i knew it, i was stroking my cock faster than i had ever before. Within 2 minutss i had already cummed 5 times coating my whole bed with a layer of semen and my balls were drier than the shaharan desert. Could any of you nerds please find a way to bring my waifu to lifue. Thanks uWu.
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing