I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”.
I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Jump from ego to elo
twitchquotes:
If i ever want to kill myself i will just jump from Minikerrs ego to his ELO 
twitch chat
Minikerr
League of Legends
BBoomer
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣙⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⡀⠨⣱⢴⡒⠚⠉⢍⣉⣃⡡⠊⠄⠇⠄⣞⣛⣶⡂⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠒⣪⢷⠯⣿⢗⠇⠄⠄⠄⠐⠒⠒⠄⠄⠈⠘⠳⢟⣽⠍⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢉⢠⠷⠚⠥⠊⠄⠄⠄⣀⣁⣀⣀⠄⠄⠑⠢⠄⠄⠘⠆⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡏⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⢀⡀⠈⠉⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠲⢸⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⠔⠒⠉⠉⠈⠉⠓⠢⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢸⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡞⠄⠄⠄⡀⢤⣠⣄⣤⣠⢄⠄⠄⢠⡠⠤⣤⡤⠴⠦⢾⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠞⠄⠄⢚⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠏⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⢰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃
⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠄⠙⠿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠁⠶⠂⠄⢬⡻⣿⣿⡿⠿⡏⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⢩⢻⣛⡛⠛⢛⣉⣉⣭⡭⡈⠁⢠⠃⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢸⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠏⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⢀⡬⠚⠁⠄⠄⠄
⠄⢀⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢀⢀⠄⢐⣒⣲⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⢠⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠙⣯⣶⠗⠟⠙⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
Hearthstone cardback
█▀▀███▀▀▀▀▀▀█▀▀▀▀▀▀███▀▀█
█▄██▀░░░░░░█░▀▄░░░░░▀██▄█
█▐▀░░░░░░░░░▀▀░░░░░░░░▀▌█
█▐░░░░░░░░░▄█▄░░░░░░░░░▌█
█▐░░░░░░░▄█████▄░░░░░░░▌█
█▐░░░░█▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄█░░░░▌█
█▐░░░░█▀▒▒▄▀▀▀▄▒▒▀█░░░░▄█
█▐░░░▄█▒▒█▒▒▄▒▒█▒▒█▄░░▄██
█▄░▀███▒▒▒▀▄▄▀▒█▒▒███▀░▌█
██▀░░▀█▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▀▒▒▒█▀░░░▌█
█▐░░░░██▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄██░░░░▌█
█▐░░░░▀░░▀█████▀░░▀░░░░▌█
█▐░░░░░░░░░▀█▀░░░░░░░░░▌█
█▐▄░░░░░░░░▄▄░░░░░░░░░▄▌█
█▀██▄░░░░░▀▄░█░░░░░░▄██▀█
█▄▄███▄▄▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄▄▄███▄▄█
Hearthstone
I orgasmed during an online zoom class
Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class.
I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
Just as the founding fathers intended
I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.