[Copypasta] RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free

abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free. the choice is yours. Don't bother trying to escape, i've connected a car battery to your balls.
April 2022

Russkis of Easterino

twitchquotes: Guten tag mutterfugers. Das ist Gestrud Hitlerino of 1945. We are in need of assisterino for defeating the Russkis of Easterino. If you would lend your Mods to assisterino, we would be danke and one with stream. Please no copy seig heil pasta
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

When you step into the Rick and Morty fandom realm

When you step into the Rick and Morty fandom realm, you're not going any old place. You're coming to the underground fight club of intellect. Prepare to be mentally battered. But don't worry, after you've spent your newbie time being cognitively pummeled, you'll have joined the ranks of the mental elite. Then you'll see the world for what it truly is. All those people going around without a thought in their head. You'll hate it. You'll become just like him. And you'll start loving it. The power of intelligence, of absolute intellectual superiority. It'll become a high you chase, constantly learning and experimenting. You'll finally be a Rick.
December 2020

Rick and Morty

Wikipedia donation request

To all our readers in the U.S., Please don't scroll past this. This Friday we humbly ask you to defend Wikipedia's future. 98% of our readers don't give; they simply look the other way. If you are an exceptional reader who has already donated, we sincerely thank you. If you donate just $2.75 today, Wikipedia could keep thriving in the long term. We ask you, humbly: please don’t scroll away. If Wikipedia has given you $2.75 worth of knowledge, take a minute to donate to the Wikimedia Endowment. Show the world that access to reliable, neutral information matters to you. Thank you.
January 2022

Headphones

───────────────── ░░░░░▄▄▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░▟▀▀░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▀▀▄░░░ ░▐░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░▐░░ ░▐░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░▓▓░░▐░░ ░▐░▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░▓█░█░░ ░▐░█▓░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓███░░ ░▐██▓░░▄▄▄░░░▀▀▀░░▓███░░ ░▐██▓░░     █  ░░    █  ░░▓███░░ ░▐██▓░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓████░ ░░██▓░░░░░░▐░░░░░░▓██░█░ ░░██▓░░░░░░▐░░░░░░▓█░░█░ ░░░░▓░░░░░▗▟░░░░░░▓░░█░ ░░░░▓░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓░░█░░ ░░░░░▓░░░▀▀▀▀▀░░░▓░░░░░░ ░░░░░░▓░░░░░░░░░▓░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▓░░░░░░░▓░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░
August 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing