I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”.
I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
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twitchquotes:
Hello OddOne, my name is Gustavian. I had dreams and ambitions, of becoming a professional 1v1 player. I picked this game up yesterday, with hopes and dreams. But you picked a fucking stupid op noob champ, and i lost my 2 bucks because of you. Now i have to stay at my aunts house in Nigeria, because i cant take the train home to Uganda.
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TheOddOne
not an weeb thing
twitchquotes:
‘not an weeb thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
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I hate when people refer to orange juice as OJ
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Why OJ? Do you want to sound cool? Is it so much of a hustle to say orange juice? Do you abbreviate apple juice too? " Hey yeah, let me have some AJ?" - said by no one ever. I just think it sound annoying af.
Edit: I don't have any issues with abbreviations, except for OJ as orange juice. Sorry if I offended some of you with sensitive feelings.
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twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp its Don Han'Cho 
from da grimy goons. I got a job for yah. I know about a warehouse holding thousands of pounds of arcane dust. I got a tip that this place is called "collecteen manajaire" sounds french or somethin I don know. Anyways what I want you to do is da sneak in to dis place and look for a button called "deez ench ant". You whack dat and da goons will take care of da rest. You game?
from da grimy goons. I got a job for yah. I know about a warehouse holding thousands of pounds of arcane dust. I got a tip that this place is called "collecteen manajaire" sounds french or somethin I don know. Anyways what I want you to do is da sneak in to dis place and look for a button called "deez ench ant". You whack dat and da goons will take care of da rest. You game?
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YOU’VE BEEN FREAKING HIT BY THE KAWAII TRUCK
YOU’VE BEEN FREAKING HIT BY THE
|^^^^^^^^^^^^](ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
| KAWAII TRUCK | ‘|”“”;.., ___.
|_…_…______===|= _|__|…, ] |
”(@ )’(@ )”“”“*|(@ )(@ )*****(@ ⊂（ﾟДﾟ⊂⌒） NO KAWAII TRUCK NO!!!
MOTHERFUCKER ONCE YOU'VE BEEN HIT, YOU HAVE TO HIT EIGHT FUCKING KAWAII ASS PEOPLE! IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU’LL KNOW YOU'RE REALLY SO FUCKING KAWAII IT'S SO FUCKING SUGOI PEOPLE WILL PISS THEIR PANTS AND SHIT BRICKS AND YOU WILL BE THE MOTHERFUCKING LORD OF THE MOTHERFUCKING KAWAII! IF YOU BREAK THIS MOTHERFUCKING CHAIN, YOU'LL BE CURSED WITH UNKAWAIINESS AND SHITTINESS FOR 9000 YEARS SO PASS IT; HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS KAWAII.