[Copypasta] RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Ben Shapiro owns another Libtard

Are you a left or right wing?!”, the dark ominous figure booms. I know it’s over. “I-I’m a d-democr—“ Instantly I lose all bodily functions. I collapse to the floor, screaming in agony, spasming. The great Ben Shapiro stands over my lifeless body. “Libtard has been owned.”
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

HELLO BLIZZARD I WANT TO REPORT A BUG

twitchquotes: 📞 BabyRage HELLO BLIZZARD 📞 BabyRage I WANT TO REPORT A BUG 📞 BabyRage MY OPPONENTS ARE ALL NETDECKERS
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018

Is there even a vegan saltier than Kripp?

twitchquotes: Is there even a vegan saltier than Kripp? And I'm referring to when Kripp gets Deathwinged in Arena (topdeck) on a 0-2 run after his Mad Bomber missed lethal against a 1 Health Mage with an empty board, who had just used a Shadow Word: Death discovered by Kabal Courier on his Bog Creeper, but not before the opponent used Flamestrike on his board of buffed Doppelgangsters, and then one more time after he just played Onyxia (who then got Ice Lanced and then Shattered).
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

salty

forsenFeels

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡼⣱⢯⢾⡭⣒⣩⠖⢊⣁⡯⠭⠥⠬⠽⢈⠳⣳⡰⡝⣶⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣉⣄⠿⣻⣽⣷⣚⠭⠄⡿⠺⠭⠭⣭⡷⠙⢆⠹⢸⠈⣿⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⡟⠉⠄⣴⡏⡉⡯⠃⢀⣿⠧⠶⣯⡱⡝⠝⠂⠈⠄⠄⠄⠘⠈⣆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠧⢤⡀⠿⢿⠁⠄⣠⠄⡐⣠⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⡴⠋ ⠄⠄⠄⡠⢼⡓⣄⠢⡑⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡸⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡜⠷⠆⢰⠘⡆⠑⠃⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠰⡁⠄⢀⢸⠄⠇⠄⣺⣿⣿⣿⡦⠄⠠⠬⠭⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠴⠊⠱⣀⣀⡉⠁⠄⢰⣿⣿⢋⣴⣿⣦⣌⠳⣋⡄⠄⣾⢋⡀⠤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⠂⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣆⣙⣠⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡏⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡶⢶⣶⣇⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⣋⡁⠚⠄⠨⢥⣿⠋⢲⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣠⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠸⠿⡋⢠⣶⡦⣨⣙⣛⢋⠜⣁⣀⡀⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠊⢸⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠉⣐⢤⢻⣧⣀⣬⡾⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⠥⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄⠄⠐⣸⡷⠿⠃⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠋⠄⡘⠤⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⠟⠄⡆⠰⠄⢇⠄⡼⠄⢠⢂⡎⢠⠃⣀⠱⡀⠄
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Text-to-Speech Playing