I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”.
I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Hearthstone vs MTG Online
twitchquotes:
Tbh, this game is too boring for anyone to understand. Hearthstone is already boring enough to the extant that pretty much no one can sit through it unless youre at a professional level. This is just to unfathomably boring. I know this is an indie game, but seriously if anyone think that this garbage can compete with an older game like HS, youre mistaken.
twitch chat
Hearthstone
Tricky the Clown (Impropable Outset)
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My name is Sergei, sorry for bad England
twitchquotes:
Hi my name ist Sergei. Sorry for bad england. I started bronzer II but from watch trick2g sterm everyday i climb to PLat 8. Everyday i walk 20 miles frozen tundra to stream leagu of legion on 1980 Dell computer processor. I left my wife and the vodka make me become alcoholic and i need stream supporter for helps. Please no copy pastaerino dongerino cappucino reno nevadarino bongerino plz.
twitch chat
Trick2g
Be careful with what emojis you react with
Ok everyone since you don’t listen when I’m nice, I’m going to get mean.
Reacting to messages with a clown (🤡), a skull (💀), or a nerd face (🤓) isn’t funny. It’s not cool, it’s not interesting, it’s annoying.
These 3 emojis in particular aren’t funny, they’re RUDE. We as staff work hard to keep this place safe, and to have you all constantly react to our messages with mean emojis makes me FURIOUS.
STOP reacting to our messages with rude emojis. They do NOTHING but make you look really, really stupid.
It shows you have no rebuttals to our arguments, so you have to use juvenile tactics paramount to terrorism in order to stop us from being able to speak out truth.
FROM NOW ON, IF YOU REACT WITH ANY MEAN EMOJIS, I AM WRITING YOUR NAME DOWN.
IF YOU ARE A SERIAL REACTOR, YOUR USERNAME IS GOING TO A GOOGLE DOC. AT THE END OF THE MONTH, I WILL TAKE THIS DOC TO THE APPROPRIATE AUTHORITIES FOR THEM TO INVESTIGATE AND ARREST YOU.
This is your ONLY warning. Tread carefully…
We require you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
Kripp