I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”.
I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
RIOT RIOT RIOT
twitchquotes:
ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ RIOT ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ RIOT ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ RIOT ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ RIOT ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ RIOT ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
twitch chat
Forsen
Unrealized losses
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red.
“I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.”
But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice.
She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
WallStreetBets
YOUR GREEN WALL GOT BLOWN UP BY DANTEH
twitchquotes:
YOUR GREEN WALL GOT BLOWN UP BY DANTEH
YOUR GREEN WALL GOT BLOWN UP BY DANTEH
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
Surprised face
░███████▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█
▐████████░░░░░░▄▀▄▄░░░▄▀█
▐██████▌░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▀░▀▄▄█▄
░█▀▀███▀░░░░░░█░▄░█░░█░▄░█
▐░▌▀▄░░░░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▀░░▀▄▄▄▀
░▌▐░░▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐░▐
░▐░▀▄▐░░░░░░░░░░░▌▌░▄▄░▐░▌
░░▀█░▄▀░░░░░░░░░▐░▐▄▄▄▄▀▐
░░░▌▀░▐░░░░░░░░▄▀░░▀▀▀▀░▌
░░░▐░░░░░░░░░▌░░░░▌███▐▐
░░░▌░░░░░░░░░▐░░░░▌███░▌
░░█▀▄░░░▐░▐░░░░░░░░▀▀▀█
Banana
twitchquotes:
banana, you're a banana. are you feeling sorry for yourself? well you should be cause you are fruit, you make me sick you big banana.
twitch chat
Riot Games