[Copypasta] RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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WeebsOut

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June 2021

Weebs

is that… a GIRL?!!!?

is that… a GIRL?!!!? Uhhhhhhhhhhhh girls? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh like, here? *starts sweating* uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *starts drooling* uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *wide eyed* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts farting* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts shitting with bloodshot eyes* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *poopie leaking out of my shorts* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts convulsing which makes the shit run down my shaved legs even faster* UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH *gets a boner* UUUHHH-UHHH-UHHHHH-UUUUHHHH-UHHHH-UUUUHHHHHHH-UUUUHHHHHHHHH-UHHHHH-UUUUUUHHHHHHHHH *passes out*
May 2022

AITA for saving a child from a dangerous situation?

I know this sounds bad, but hear me out. Earlier this month, I was walking home from the store as usual. I began smelling a feint burning smell and I heard muffled shouting ahead. I picked up the pace to discover the commotion. A building was on fire and a small child was standing by the second story window shrieking for help as flames rose behind him. Luckily, I had been doing parkour ever since I was a teen so I climbed up to his window and reached out to grab the child. He reached out for me as well and I hoisted him down on my back. When we reached the ground the child ran to his parents and they thanked me while hugging him. Later today I was visiting a friend in prison who happens to be serving a sentence for attempted murder of many children. He said I was an asshole and I shouldn’t have saved the kid from the burning building. Ever since, I can’t help but feel like kind of an asshole so I would appreciate to hear a third persons perspective on this. So reddit, AITA?
January 2022

Am I The Asshole?

I saw it on the new hip website called Reddit!

twitchquotes: I saw it on the new hip website called Reddit! It's a pun on Read and It, Reddit! Isn't that swell! There are also these things called May-mays or otherwise known as memes there. They're really funny
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Trick2g

Thinking of the greatest Hearthstone player

twitchquotes: Sometimes, late at night when I am under my covers, I touch my stealth donger and think of the greatest hearthstone player, the very best there ever was, then in a desperate attempt to not fap i think of Kripp, and that's it, donger is gone, i whisper "casual" and go back to sleep.
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Kripp
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