I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”.
I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Forsen enters his bedroom and notices something unusual
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Forsen enters his bedroom and notices something unusual. In his bed lays a 6/3 Reynad in stealth. Forsen has no answer for this play. He passes his turn and prepares himself for the donger of destiny.Kappa 
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Forsen
Ninja Mixer announcement
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I know this may come as a shock to many of you, but, as of today, i will be streaming exclusively on Mixer. I know, i know, it's exciting. You know, i feel like this is a really good chance to get back in touch with my roots, and really remember why i fell in love with streaming in the first place.
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Ninja
We should buy Reddit
We should buy Reddit.
Not the stock. The actual company.
If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website.
We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make.
I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners:
Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization.
Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart"
NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW.
Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet.
Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern.
We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod.
Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's.
I think this is a great idea.
Keep it high and tight.
👖🚀👖🚀👖🚀
WallStreetBets
Okay hand sign cock
Reynad keeps escaped walruses from the local zoo
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Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ Rᴇʏɴᴀᴅ! I ᴀᴍ Dᴀɴ Gᴜʟ, ᴏᴡɴᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴄᴀʟ ᴢᴏᴏ. Wʜɪʟᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴡᴇ ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇᴅ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴅɪsᴛᴜʀʙɪɴɢ sᴏᴜɴᴅs ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪᴄ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴇsᴄᴀᴘᴇᴅ ᴡᴀʟʀᴜsᴇs. Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀʟʀᴜsᴇs ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ 24 ʜᴏᴜʀs, ᴡᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ Tᴡɪᴛᴄʜ sʜᴜᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ. I'ᴍ ʙᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ.
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Reynad