[Copypasta] How to win any Internet argument

Ok hillbilly person who supports genocide and pedophiles and war crimes and the Holocaust and the Rwandan genocide and 9/11 and incest and r**e and the Armenian genocide and Nazis and the Japanese interment camps and sterilizing immigrants and concentration camps and harvesting organs and mass shootings and human trafficking and totalitarian fascist regimes and Donald Trump saying "There were very fine people on both sides" and white supremacy and male supremacy and cis supremacy and hetero supremacy and the coronavirus pandemic and imperialism and bombing Syria and the drug war and the Crusades and the Holodomor and the January 6th capitol storm and slavery and World War 1 and World War 2 and diabetes and cancer and AIDS and Ebola and murder and rabies and police brutality and fatherless homes and motherless homes and segregation and Jim Crow laws and the Uyghur genocide and animal abuse and selling SpongeBob's soul for 62 cents and murdering babies and voter fraud and fascism and fatphobia and ableism and criminalizing homosexuality and bestiality and kids starving in the streets and saying slurs and cannibalism and banning everything in existence and wishing that all of life on Earth was extinct. Fuck you!
May 2021
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More Copypastas

DONGERS initiative

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) Hello Kripparrian, this is Agent Saltson, from the Secret Hearthstone Information Education and Luck Division. I need to talk to you about the D.O.N.G.E.R.S Initiative. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Donald Trump

⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣰⣶⣽⣽⣷⣶⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣾⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠰⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⢿⡿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣷⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠈⢙⣿⡇⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣞⡏⠄⢸⡿⣿⣿ ⢀⠄⠄⢀⢸⢿⣿⣟⣷⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣐⣼⣿⣷⠄⣠⣴⣤⣤⣄⢉⡄⠄⠸⠇⣿⣿ ⣶⣇⣤⡎⠘⠁⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⡇⡶⣥⣴⣿⣿ ⢣⣛⡍⠸⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢈⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⢜⣿⣿⣿ ⠃⠋⠼⠥⠄⢠⠄⠐⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠋⠈⠟⣿⣿⡏⠄⢸⢸⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠠⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣦⣤⣀⣤⣤⡀⢨⠿⣇⠄⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣾⣾⡇⡀⠄⠄⢀⢢⣽⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⠿⠛⠛⠿⠛⠻⠜⡽⣸⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⠎⢡⡭⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠺⣿⣿⣷⣾⢿⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠳⢶⣿⣿⡿⢋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⢸⣿⡄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠽⣿⣷⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣠⣬⣏⠉⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⡟⠿⡿⢻⠛⠟⠿⠋⠁
December 2018

Xi Jinping Tanner

twitchquotes: So you’re going by Kripparian now, nerd? Haha what up, it’s Xi Jinping from China. Me and the other dictators used to give you a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I see your social credit score is still low. Remember Mei Ling, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, I have her organs now. I forcefully oppress over 1 billion people a year, and run a corrupt government. I guess some things never change, huh? Nice catching up, pathetic..
twitch chat
November 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

A cat's eye view is the best advantage

twitchquotes: "wtf are you doing Micheal" says Lisha as she walks into the room and sees QT on top of the cat stand. He looks at her and says "A cat's eye view is the best advantage." deIlluminati
twitch chat
July 2015
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing