[Copypasta] How to win any Internet argument

Ok hillbilly person who supports genocide and pedophiles and war crimes and the Holocaust and the Rwandan genocide and 9/11 and incest and r**e and the Armenian genocide and Nazis and the Japanese interment camps and sterilizing immigrants and concentration camps and harvesting organs and mass shootings and human trafficking and totalitarian fascist regimes and Donald Trump saying "There were very fine people on both sides" and white supremacy and male supremacy and cis supremacy and hetero supremacy and the coronavirus pandemic and imperialism and bombing Syria and the drug war and the Crusades and the Holodomor and the January 6th capitol storm and slavery and World War 1 and World War 2 and diabetes and cancer and AIDS and Ebola and murder and rabies and police brutality and fatherless homes and motherless homes and segregation and Jim Crow laws and the Uyghur genocide and animal abuse and selling SpongeBob's soul for 62 cents and murdering babies and voter fraud and fascism and fatphobia and ableism and criminalizing homosexuality and bestiality and kids starving in the streets and saying slurs and cannibalism and banning everything in existence and wishing that all of life on Earth was extinct. Fuck you!
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
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My eyelids are heavy

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twitchquotes: тo proтecт тнe cнaт ғroм devaѕтaтιon, тo υnιтe ѕpaммerѕ wιтнιn oυr naтιon, тo denoυnce тнe evιlѕ oғ вanѕ and мodѕ, тo eхтend oυr ѕpaм тo тнe ѕpace aвove. copy! paѕтe! тwιтcн cнaт, ѕcroll aт тнe ѕpeed oғ lιgнт! Sυrrender or prepare тo ғιgнт! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) тнaт'ѕ rιgнт!
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AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife? Okay, little background. My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald. My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through. Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation. My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole. What do you think?
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Am I The Asshole?

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༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ SAVE THE CAT༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

twitchquotes: CAT TRAPPED UNDER THE COUCH
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EUhub
Text-to-Speech Playing