[Copypasta] Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell

Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell. You get to have sweet ass chunky highlights and drive a big hideous SUV you secretly eat 3 donuts a day in and dont report to weight watchers. You can go to your jazzersize class absolutely fucked up on airplane bottles of rum and a perc you got from your friend who has back issues. Call your daughter a whore in front of her friends when she's 12 then pretend not to remember it when she brings it up deeply traumatized in her 20s. Fucking boss bitch shit straight up. Just blasting "dude looks like a lady" max volume flooring it to a target to cause a ruckus returning a bath mat. Not giving a single shit if its problematic. You like it that way. Making your dumbass kids apologize to YOU when you say racist shit. Getting zooted on your strawberry nosed husbands blood pressure meds. Hell yes queen fucking slay.
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
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What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad?

What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the brogres, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on your anus, and have ogre 300 confirmed layers. I am trained in making early 2000's pop cultural references, and am the top ogre in the entire far far away armed forces. You are nothing to me but another Drek. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which have never been seen in Dreamworks, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that dreck to me over the swamp? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of fairy tale creatures across Far Far Away and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, Farquaad. The storm that will end your fucking life. It's fucking ogre, Donkey. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare asscheeks. Not only am I shrextensively trained in onionade combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Fairy Godmothers Factory and I will use it to its full shrextent to wipe your miserable little ass of of the face of meh swamp, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn Rumpelstiltskin. I will slay abuse all ogre you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, Pinocchio.
August 2021

Shrek

Navy Seal

AROOOOGA eyes pop out jaw drops

twitchquotes: Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
twitch chat
December 2020

Muffet from Undertale

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
March 2016

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone 2

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. Kripp said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter" or something like that. This made me a bit sad, but it got worse though. Kripp then said "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". I don't know why this guy was being so toxic towards me. He seemed to be a grown man living in a palace, but he hated me so much and he's never even met me. :(
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hello Kripp, this is Optimus Prime

twitchquotes: ๏ผจ๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ ๏ผซ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ผฏ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ“ ๏ผฐ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ผŽ ๏ผท๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ผฏ๏ผช ๏ฝ—๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝ… ๏ผด๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ผค๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“๏ผŽ ๏ผฐ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ–๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ–๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ… ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝƒ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ•๏ฝ” ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ผฎ๏ฝ๏ฝš๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ“๏ผŽ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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