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I am a Volunteer Twitch Moderator

twitchquotes: You have been reported. I am not a bot. I am a Volunteer Twitch Moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in under 24 hours. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge. Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you'll be seeing a lot of it.
twitch chat
December 2018

MODS

Morbius is love. Morbius is life.

I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, โ€œMorbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, โ€œItโ€™s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
June 2022

Morbius

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

This guy's deck is CRAZY

twitchquotes: This guy's deck is CRAZY!โ€ โ˜‘ โ€œMy deck can't win against a deck like thatโ€ โ˜‘ "He NEEDED precisely those two cards to win" โ˜‘ โ€œHe topdecked the only card that could beat meโ€ โ˜‘ "He had the perfect cards" โ˜‘ โ€œThere was nothing I could doโ€ โ˜‘ โ€œI played that perfectlyโ€
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

All men are trash ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

heyyy queen I saw your tweet about how men are trash and I just wanted to let you know that I agree. although I myself am a man, (i know, ugh) i am on your side. โ€œone of the good onesโ€ as some may say. btw I never even noticed how fat your boobies are till now but theyโ€™re awesome
April 2021

Simps

A PROTESTOR STOOD UP AGAINST POLICE BRUTALITY IN LEGO CITY

A PROTESTOR STOOD UP AGAINST POLICE BRUTALITY IN LEGO CITY START THE UNMARKED POLICE VAN HEY! BUILD THE UNMARKED VAN AND OFF TO THE KIDNAPPING PREPARE THE INFANTRY, OPEN THE BACK DOOR AND MAKE THE UNLAWFUL ARREST THE NEW MILITARIZED POLICE COLLECTION FROM LEGO CITY
July 2020

Lego City

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Ben Shapiro owns another Libtard

Are you a left or right wing?!โ€, the dark ominous figure booms. I know itโ€™s over. โ€œI-Iโ€™m a d-democrโ€”โ€œ Instantly I lose all bodily functions. I collapse to the floor, screaming in agony, spasming. The great Ben Shapiro stands over my lifeless body. โ€œLibtard has been owned.โ€
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

I used to work at an abortion clinic

I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed: โ€ข โ A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight โ€ข โ A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor โ€ข โ They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name) โ€ข โ One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns โ€ข โ The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man โ€ข โ The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life" โ€ข โ The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos โ€ข โ The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy) โ€ข โ During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
August 2021

NSFW

GOATS ults ResidentSleeper

twitchquotes: FIRE AT WILL ResidentSleeper NERF THIS! ResidentSleeper EXPERIENCE TRANQUILITY ResidentSleeper HAMMER DOWN ResidentSleeper RALLY TO ME! ResidentSleeper OH LETS BREAK IT DOWN
twitch chat
March 2019

Overwatch

Boom PepegaAim

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ’ฅ ๐Ÿ’ฅ โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € ๐Ÿ’ฅ โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € ๐Ÿ’ฅ โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € ๐Ÿ’ฅ โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € ๐Ÿ’ฅ โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € PepegaAim โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € LULW โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € ๐Ÿ’ฅ โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € ๐Ÿ’ฅ โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € ๐Ÿ’ฅ ๓ €€ ๓ €€ ๓ €€
twitch chat
December 2019

CSGO

Chungus has no beginning. Chungus has no end.

twitchquotes: Chungus has no beginning. Chungus has no end. Chungus is infinite. Millions of years after our civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, Chungus will endure. Chungus is eternal. The pinnacle of evolution and existence. We are but rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. We touch Chungus' mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding. Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation, an accident. Our lives are measured in years and decades. We wither and die. Chungus is eternal. Before it, we are nothing. Chungus imposes order on the chaos of organic life. Wฬปฬ ฬซฬปฬฌeฬนฬฒฬฒ อกฬคฬฆฬžฬซฬฃeอœxา‰อ•อ“อ–ฬŸiฬฑsอ อ‡อšอ‡tอ…ฬฑฬบอˆอŽ อ‰ฬฎฬ–bอขeฬงฬผฬฒฬฆcอฬ aฬ›ฬผuอขอ™ฬญsฬกฬผeอ˜ อกฬฃอšCอฬ˜hอกuฬคอŽฬฅฬฎฬนnฬ•ฬฏguฬ›ฬฌอŽฬ–ฬ–ฬฉsฬชออŽอ‡ฬณฬนอŽ ฬธฬ—ฬบอ“aฬจlฬตอ“อ“ฬฏฬฏlฬฉอ‰ฬนอŽฬœoอฬ™ฬŸอ…ฬปอŽฬฌwอ‰ฬŸฬญฬณฬฆอ”ฬปsฬฉฬปฬž อกiฬฎอšฬŸฬญฬผฬฅอ”tอฬคฬบฬญอ–,อ”ฬฎฬฏฬฒ อ–aฬจฬฉnอกฬผฬ™dอกฬœ ฬถฬฐฬžฬ อฬฌอ‡wอšฬžฬžอˆอ…eฬœ ฬฌอ•อ‡ฬ˜ฬฃอŽฬœwฬžอ™ฬฐฬžอ–ฬฐiอšlอŽฬญlฬฌอ–อ‡ อ‡อšeฬ–nฬซอ•ฬฒฬซdฬฆอ–อ™ ฬจฬฏฬฎbฬฑฬœฬชeอฬปฬนฬ ฬฆฬฃcอกฬฉอ…ฬซอˆฬ—ฬ–aฬงฬนฬณอฬ™ฬ˜อ™อ…uอ ฬฑฬ—sฬฬฒอ“ฬฒอˆeอ•ฬฃฬผอŽ อ ฬŸCา‰อ…ฬผhuอ‰ฬŸฬผฬฑnฬธอ…อ…ฬฒฬฅฬŸฬ–gฬทฬฒอšฬฅฬบอ•ฬฎuฬดsอœฬ–ฬŸฬฉอฬŸอ•ฬ ฬคอ™ฬœอŽฬ–ฬ—ฬฎdอฬŸฬ˜ฬ—ฬžฬผeอฬฒฬปฬ ฬฆฬฉmฬ™ฬœฬanา‰ฬฃอ‰ฬ˜ฬฐฬณฬ˜ฬœdอกฬ–ฬ—อ“อฬŸsอˆฬฏฬฉฬžฬŸ อ–ฬผฬ™ฬผฬฅiฬฎtฬŸฬฆ.อ€ฬฅฬŸอ–อˆฬฅอš ฬฉCฬทฬฑhฬงา‰ฬญอˆฬปฬชอˆฬžฬฅฬฏuฬตอ“ฬนอฬ—nา‰ฬฅฬฑฬคgฬถอŸอฬปฬฌฬฎฬœฬ˜อ…ฬžuอฬžฬนsา‰ฬญฬฆฬ™อ•อ‡ฬซฬ—ฬ– ฬงฬฎฬ˜ฬ™อ…อ™tฬตฬจฬ›ฬณอšอ‡ฬฉฬ˜rอ˜ฬ™อ“aฬกฬ™อšnฬ›ฬฒฬซฬคอ…ฬชอ–ฬฌsฬถฬฒฬ–cฬ›ฬฏฬžอฬซฬผฬฑeฬถฬถฬบฬžอ‡nฬŸdฬกอ˜ฬ˜ฬผsา‰อœฬจฬฑฬฅอ•ฬณ อŸฬœoฬ•อ˜ฬœอ•ฬผฬนฬชuฬดฬตฬคrอขอžอ”อ–อŽอ…อˆอฬฉอˆฬณ อ€ฬฎฬญฬฐฬณฬ˜ฬนvฬกฬดฬฑฬ—ฬžฬ–อŽฬณอ‰ฬ อšeฬกอ–ฬ™ฬžฬบฬซฬrฬฏอŽฬ™ฬญฬบฬ—ฬปอˆอ–yอา‰ฬฏฬŸฬฃฬฏฬฑ ฬดอขอ“ฬฃฬฉอ”ฬฅฬบฬฃฬปฬŸuฬถฬธอ–อšอ‡ฬนฬ˜nฬกฬขฬณอ–อˆฬฎฬdอขอžฬปอ‡อˆอ“ฬ—eฬถอขฬธฬณฬปอšฬซrฬตอฬฌฬปฬ™ฬฆsอ ออ‰อ‰ฬฎtฬขฬกฬฃฬฐฬฆฬซฬผฬฏฬ˜อ™ฬปaฬฌฬŸอ•ฬฬฅฬณnอžฬ˜ฬบdฬฅฬžอ”iอŸฬถฬฌอ–ฬคฬผnอขอ˜ฬ›ฬ˜ฬผอ…ฬปฬฑgอŸอฬ˜ฬอ™ฬซฬฃอ‰.อœอกฬ˜ฬปฬŸอŽ Wอ˜อ“ฬฐฬนอ™ฬนฬผฬซฬ อ“ฬฉฬฉฬ—อ‰eฬจอขฬจฬดอ˜ฬอ–ฬŸฬŸฬผฬ˜ฬฉ ฬ•ฬ›อžอžฬธฬฎฬฑอšฬณอ•ฬฃฬฒฬ˜ฬ อ”อ‰cฬงฬขฬตอŸฬปอˆอ™ฬฏอšฬ ฬฑฬนอˆฬ ฬฏฬบฬญฬนฬ–อ‰อ”อaอ า‰ฬฎฬ–ฬญอ‰อˆnออ ฬจอ อŸฬฑฬฬ–ฬ–ฬ™ฬŸnฬงอ€ฬฆฬฃฬฬฑฬซฬฉอ”ฬฎฬœฬฒoฬ•ฬกา‰อžอ™อ‡ฬฉฬ อ‡tฬขอœฬขฬœฬฅออ™ฬฌฬฆอˆฬ  อฬ›อฬฌฬฎฬฒฬณอˆอ™อ…gอกอŸฬทอ‡ฬฏฬนฬ ฬผฬซฬ™ฬŸฬณฬ™ฬซฬฆฬฎฬ™ฬฑฬฃอ‡rฬจฬฐฬฏฬฏฬนฬฆอŽฬฆฬžaฬ›ฬขฬฆฬฆออ‡ฬชอฬซอ”อ™อ™อŽอฬฐฬฉอ•อ•ฬsอฬทอ˜อˆอšฬฅฬœอ–อšฬ˜ฬ™อ”ฬ—ฬณอ‡pอ€ฬนอ“ฬŸฬคฬณฬฑ ฬตฬ›ฬชฬ—ฬ ฬผtา‰อฬ›ฬดอขฬญฬ–ฬฐฬณฬฐฬฑฬฃอฬ–อ•อ–อ‡ฬžอ…ฬฑฬผฬญฬฃhฬจอกอ€อžฬนฬ ฬชอ”ฬ–ฬชฬณฬอ™อ‰อ•ฬœอ‡อŽอ”อ”ฬœฬŸeอกฬขอ อœอŽฬฃฬ˜อ“ฬฒฬฏฬผฬฌฬฑฬฃอ…อ”ฬ˜ฬนอฬฆฬคฬฅ อžฬธฬกออžอˆฬ ฬฎอ–ฬฆฬฃอ‰อ…อšอšอ™ฬปอ‰อˆอ•อ”ฬญnฬดฬขฬซอฬฏฬ–ฬณฬžอ”ฬฏฬžฬบaอขฬกอžฬจฬ–อ–อšอ“ฬบอ…tอŸฬขฬŸอ‡ฬฉอ…อ•ฬณอˆอ”ฬฅฬ ฬฒฬ อออ™ฬณuฬจฬจฬ ฬฉฬบฬฆฬ™ฬณอˆฬฃอ“ฬฒฬนฬบอ”ฬฑฬžฬนอ”อ•ฬ–rอขฬถอกอขฬœฬฆฬฅอ•อˆฬฐอ…ฬณอ•อ”ฬฅฬฏฬ–ฬชฬบeอ˜ฬซฬฎฬ™อ™ฬŸฬญฬชฬฑอ‰ ฬจฬดฬจา‰ฬ–อฬฉฬญฬชฬซอ“oออ€ฬ•ฬฑฬฏฬชฬปอ–ฬฎอ™อ…อ…fอกออžฬ˜ฬ™ฬ–ฬปอ“ฬฉฬฃ อกฬจฬฆฬŸฬฆฬฆอ‡ฬ˜อ•ฬฎอ”ฬฎฬฌฬฅฬฐฬซCฬจอ‡อ•อ™ฬžอ–ฬญฬฑhฬถฬธอกอฬขฬ™ฬฑฬณอ…ฬณออ•ฬฌฬžฬณอ“ฬนฬฌอšuอ€อžอ‰ฬฏอ”ฬฅฬฉอˆอ…อ™อ•ฬฒอ‡nฬงฬดอ”ฬŸฬ–ฬ–ฬžอ‡ฬคฬ™ฬนฬนอฬฐอŽอ“ฬบฬฌฬบอ‡gอกอœฬถฬกฬฏฬฐฬ™อ‡อ“ฬฆฬœอ‰ฬนฬ™ฬ–ฬžฬ—ฬ—uฬธฬดฬนฬชฬ—ฬฆฬœอŽฬชฬบsฬดอกอˆฬ–อ‰ฬ™ฬฬ™ฬžอšฬบอ–ฬฅฬญฬŸฬžฬนฬฒฬซ'อŸอžอกฬขฬชฬฃฬฬ ฬ™ฬ˜ฬ˜ฬŸฬบฬ ฬ˜อฬชฬฌฬผอ–อ‰ฬนอ“ อŸฬถฬธอˆฬฑฬžฬฅอ”ฬฒอ‡eฬกฬฬผอšฬ ฬฒฬ—ฬฐฬนฬฌฬฅอ“ฬญฬฅฬบฬฑxออขฬงอฬฆอ™ฬ ฬฏอ™อฬปฬปฬฒฬ iฬจฬฐฬžฬปฬฬฒอ™ฬฐอ‡ฬซอ‰อ•ฬ™ฬบอ‰ฬปsา‰ฬขฬ›ฬดฬธฬฑฬณอŽฬณฬ—ฬฆฬ–ฬฒอšฬžtอกา‰ฬญฬ–ฬบฬ–ฬฑฬฬฑฬบฬฎฬฐฬฆอ–ฬฏฬซฬฏeฬ›อ€ฬ•อˆอ“ฬญฬ˜ฬฅอŽฬปฬ™อ‰ฬฅฬฅอšฬปอŽnอฬ•ฬ–อ“ฬฆอŽฬฑอฬ—ฬœอŽอ‰ฬœอ…อ–ฬผฬžcอ˜ฬตอ อžอžฬฒฬนฬฏฬฌอšฬฆฬ™ฬžฬคอ”ฬนฬปฬ ฬฃอ“ฬฉอ™อ”อ™eฬตอŸอžฬ™ฬ—อ‰ฬฃอ™ฬฌ.ฬทฬธอ•ฬฐอ‰ฬคอ•ฬ™ฬฐ
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad

A GOAT says...

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿฎ says moo ๐Ÿฆ† says quack ๐Ÿถ says bark But the ๐Ÿ says FIRE AT WILL! NERF THIS! EXPERIENCE TRANQUILITY! HAMMER DOWN! RALLY TO ME! OH LETS BREAK IT DOWN!
twitch chat
April 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

I'm honestly considering uninstalling PUBG on PC

twitchquotes: (sponsored message) WOW! I love the way this game looks. The graphics are great and the framerate is perfect! I'm honestly considering uninstalling PUBG on PC and just moving over to mobile because this seems like the far superior product. Thank you Kripp for showing me this amazing new game.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

sellout

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle

March 2021

NSFW

Did you ever hear the tragedy of the man who fell into the river in Lego city?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of the man who fell into the river in Lego city? I thought not. It's not a story the Playmobils would tell you. It's a LEGO legend. Man Lego was a Dark Lord of building, so powerful and so wise he could use the bricks to influence the constructions to create rescue helicoptersโ€ฆ He had such a knowledge of building that he could even keep the ones he cared about from falling. The dark side of the LEGOs is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerfulโ€ฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice threw him into the river in LEGO city. Ironic. He could rescue others from the river, but not himself.
December 2020

Lego City

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

C9 is losing the team fight on the point uncontested

twitchquotes: LEARN PLAT CHAT! C9 is losing the team fight on the point uncontested during overtime But alot of players now say C9 when they WIN a point and losing the fight when the time runs out.
twitch chat
May 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

I used to be a real ad

Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman

twitchquotes: Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman. After recently maxing my ultimate ironman I decided to up the ante, and forge my own journey from scratch. No banking, no trading, but this time I can't leave Morytania.
twitch chat
March 2019

Hey Kripp, Dan from HearthArena here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Dan from HearthArena here. Just wanted to let you know we have some updates to our policy for sponsored content. Instead of saying "that guy's deck was crazy", we now suggest our partners use the phrase, "wow, that guy must have used HearthArenaโ„ข to get a deck like that!" We're grateful for your continued participation and hope you have a nice day.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

Rob from the Romanian sausage truck

twitchquotes: Hey "Kripp!" It's me -- Rob from the Romanian sausage truck. I haven't seen you come by in a while! My friend told me you were a famous gamer, so I searched for you online. I honestly had no idea! Thanks for the shout-out. Keep rocking, and come by for a sausage if you have the chance. I'd love to see you again.
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Offline Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: wait people are still here? lol thats really weird. i was just gunna click on a vod to watch cuz a friend recommended it and saw you guys still sitting here when the streamer isnt even live. Honestly you guys need a life lmfao, sitting it a streamers chat all day wont make you feel better and it wont improve your chances of sleeping with her, not like you had any to begin with lmfao. you guys are just so pathetic. Later!
twitch chat
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

COCKtober emojipasta

October 2021

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Halloween

NSFW

Holiday

Text-to-Speech Playing