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Shut your eyes and listen closely

twitchquotes: Shut your eyes and listen closely. Do you feel it? The gentle clicks of a finely crafted keyboard massaging your eardrums? The soft soothing moan that comes from a man that has seen the inside of his attic and understands many things? The jovial chuckles awakening memories of the trips with the family to your uncle's barn on a mild summer evening when you were a kid? That is what Kripp's stream is to me. I am at peace.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates

twitchquotes: Filthy degenerates throwing money at filthy degenerates behaviour. what filthy casuals you are throwing money and subbing at bad behaviour now i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates because you support these stupid fistings and casual behaviour 凸 ◉_◔༽凸
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

you will never be on my intellectual level

twitchquotes: listen until you guys have read fichte, kant, schelling, hegel, goethe, novalis and hamann in the original german, you will never be on my intellectual level, you are plebs who are addicted to reddit and think rick and morty is a deep show, your children will be dysgenic losers and mine will be serious winners and well-educated, they'll probably smack the glasses off your children for fun and then go read homer in the original greek.
twitch chat
August 2020

Al Pacino's dongarino sweat is tastarino

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! It's me, FrankerZ (from the pizzarino place). I'm back from my 600 second ban. I still have your faggarino pizzarino if you want it. Al Pacino's dongarino sweat dried up but it is still tastarino. Give me a call my number is 867-5309. Pls no copy pasterino dongerino frappuccino mochaccino pistachio. Your friend- FrankerZ (from the pizzarino place).
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

CLG needs the DongerKing

twitchquotes: Dear Qtpie. This is MonteCristo. I just want to tell you that we would love to have you on CLG as our new top laner. You have the best ognTSMrototations that I have ever seen and even better mechanicanics than Faker. And your hair will give CLG new strength to win worlds. Please call me. CLG needs the DongerKing.
twitch chat
April 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Kiwi's Father, Pineapple

twitchquotes: Imaqtpie, this is Kiwis father, Pineapple, I must ask you to wake Kiwi up ASAP, otherwise he will be late for kindergarten! Do it preferably with a loud scream. Pls no fruiterino pasterino
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

Germany scores on Brazil

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Every 60 seconds in Brazil, Germany scores a goal. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

Please top switching the first 2 letters of words

twitchquotes: Dear chat, please top switching the first 2 letters of words; thereby forming a new or complety bogus word. For example in the two word sentence: "MIC MUTED". I and manny others have no idea what this means because you have switched the M with M and the M with the M. This confuses me to infinity. Thanks in advanced.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Everyone please STOP SPAMMING

twitchquotes: Everyone, please STOP SPAMMING, it is very INCONSIDERATE of the folks who are trying to have REAL CONVERSATIONS. Plz no copy pastarino Frappaccino-mochaccino-capuccino, macarino Eddie Pasterino pepperoncino kakaino poopieino peepeeino dickarino assarino skillswiperino salterino bad-luckerino Al Pacino with his dongerino in San Bernardino.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

I pay $4.99 a month to enjoy chat

twitchquotes: ᶫᶦˢᵗᵉᶰ ᵘᵖ ᵐᵒᵗʰᵉʳᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉʳˢ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵃᶜᵗᶦᶰᵍ ʷᵃʸ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵃᶰᵈ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵃᶜᵗᶦᶰᵍ ᶦᶰ ᵃᶜᶜᵒʳᵈ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵗʷᶦᵗᶜʰ ᵖᵒᶫᶦᶜᶦᵉˢ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵗʰᶦˢ ˢᵖᵃᵐᵐᶦᶰᵍ ᵃᶰᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᶫˢᵒ ʳᵘᶦᶰᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ʷʰᶦᶜʰ ᴵ ᵖᵃʸ $4⋅99 ᵃ ᵐᵒᶰᵗʰ ᵗᵒ ᵉᶰʲᵒʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ ᶦᶠ ᴵ ˢᵉᵉ ᵃᶰʸᵒᶰᵉ ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᴵ'ᵐ ᶜᵃᶫᶫᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵖˢ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

Play the greatest game of all time, Cookie Clicker

twitchquotes: Kripp, you are called casual all day everyday and I say it is time to stop. If you truly wish to play a mans game, Play the greatest game of all time, Cookie Clicker. Nothing is more hardcore and less p2w than the masterpiece that is cookie clicker. Play that on stream and never be called casual ever again.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Copyright Infringement from using Copy Pastas

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is Juan Pastoroni, CEO of Copy Pasta Industries. I'd like to let you know that we've just gained copyrights on a lot of copy pastas seen in this chat. If you are using them right now, please refrain from doing so, or risk being fined under copyright infringement. Thank you, and don't be funny and copy and paste this. This is business, kid.
twitch chat
July 2014
pr0lly

Subs vs non-subs

twitchquotes: The best part about being a non-sub is that the chat spam seems real. If a sub is spamming it’s obvious they are just spamming for fun or to troll, because who would give money to a streamer they don’t like? By being a non-sub the possible genuine confusion and disinterest is actually there. And that’s something subs can’t get.
twitch chat
July 2020

Sneaky please enable NODDERS

twitchquotes: Sneaky, I think of you as a very smart and somewhat educated person with great foresight. Many people don't see the appeal of NODDERS but the simple combination with NOPERS can exponentially increase the streamers and viewer experience. You, a man of profound wisdom regarding such matters will clearly understand and enable NODDERS, thanks. FeelsClassyMan
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

Reginaldo

twitchquotes: hi mi name is regi i live from canada i walk 200 miles to get to computer in alaska to play lgend league because iwant be pro player like qqpie and cumshotgg pls no coffee papapino dunkacino pasterino.
twitch chat
July 2014
HotshotGG

League of Legends

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Hafu likes money a lot

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Hello! My name is Hafu! (◡‿◡✿) My boyfriend just broke up with me! He said he doesn't like looking at my beef curtains and my chest is too flat. (◕‿-) But it's okay! I will sob uncontrollably on stream. My viewers will feel sorry for me and give me lots of money. I like money a lot. (。♥‿♥。)
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

I want to be a box

twitchquotes: Hello My name is Juan Taquito, and My dream is to become a cardboard box, I go home to my family of 12 children daily, searching online for how to become a box, that is why i will watch BoxBox every day, to learn his ways and reach my true form.
twitch chat
July 2014
flosd

Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Kripp, on behalf of the entire Greek country, I would like to thank you for single handedly restoring our economy with your endless supplies of salt. Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export. Most excellent, all hail Kripperino!
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Kripp after the power outage on December 21, 2013

twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Hi Kripp, Google again here

twitchquotes: Kripp, Google again here. We've noticed that you've been away from Twitch for at least 2 minutes in the past. We're just wondering if everything is okay. Is it still the merchandise? We're serious about raising the price if it's a problem to you. We just want you to have fun, and to of course buy more Twitch merchandise. Our Viewbots are ready to bring you (mostly us) much ad revenue. Thank you Kripp, hope to see you soon
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Viewbots

Text-to-Speech Playing