twitchquotes:
ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ:・ﾟ RETARD WAVE!!:„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤KEEP THE RETARDNESS GOING ¸„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤øº LETS GO RETARDS !¤¤º°¨¨°º¤øº¤ø„¸¸ø¤º°¨„ ø¤º°¨¨°º
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More Copypastas
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
I sexually identify as a centipede
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as a centipede. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dropping dank memes on cucks everywhere. People say to me that a person being a centipede is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install 100 legs and two hollow fangs on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Nimble Navigator” and respect my right to meme everywhere and trigger endlessly.
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2016 US Election
I sexually Identify as
Sad Crewmate
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Among Us / Amogus
FNATIC World Championships
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Riot Games
League of Legends
I have the biggest crush for streamer
twitchquotes:
please do not read this, it is a private message i am posting here since notepad crashed after i downloaded that one movie. I have the biggest crush on debuz, his chiseled chest sends heart palpitations deep into my soul. His masculine elbows make my knees quiver ever so
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