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Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro

I was driving with a friend I grab his leg instead of the gearstick We both laugh and I unzip his pants I park the car while fondling with his balls, my friend is laughing because he knows it's a joke and we're just friends I start sucking his dick and was about to choke on it because I'm laughing so hard My friend is also laughing his ass off, he starts making train noise while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB CHOO CHOO" He then cums and then I swallow it all and kiss him while both laughing cuz we know it's a joke. Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro.
May 2022

Unsponsered Art of Conquest stream

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. “Boy,” he says, “we got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!” The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. “Wow!” says Hanks. “I don’t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his ‘Unsponsered’ Art of Conquest stream!”
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

I used to be a real ad

Imagine Fortnite Jonesy in Smash

Imagine this: You're watching the new Nintendo Direct. As it begins you hope to see the new smash reveal, and are hoping you get the character you so desperately wanted, whether it's Crash Bandicoot or Sora. The trailer begins with the classic smash opening. As you watch the trailer, you begin to feel hope that your dream may have come true. But then, at the part where the character is revealed, you hear a bus horn, and wonder "Is it coming from outside?" But no. It's from the trailer. You watch a manly figure drop out of the sky, landing gracefully in front of the characters he is about to defeat. It gazes upon his sharp-bladed pickaxe, his luxurious blond hair, and his shining silver dog tags. As the sun fades away, you finally see who it really was: It was Jonesy from Fortnite. It's a long shot, I know. But imagine.
September 2021

Fortnite

Super Smash Bros

I’m a Zoe HATER

twitchquotes: I’m hoping Zoe DIES xD I’m a Zoe HATER because she’s so cute and EVIL! People get so trolled by her bubble and her voice lines are SATANIC, like the one about cake! She’s super DEGENERATE but also smarter than she looks, just like SATAN as a kid XD
twitch chat
April 2020

League of Legends

Female racist

wait, wait, wait....... hold your horses... uhm... YOU'RE A GIRL AND A RACIST?!!?! O_o_O Not to be a freak, but.. Just when i tought you couldn't get more attractive.. You started hating minorities. Nicely done, M'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman.
July 2021
I used to be a real ad

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

You are currently in a 25 year coma

twitchquotes: If you are reading this message, Jesse, you are currently in a 25 year coma. We've been trying to communicate with you for the longest time by manipulating your brain waves, but nothing so far has worked. If you manage to read this it means our new method has succeeded. Please, wake up Jesse. Your family loves you and wants you back. In a week they are going to pull the plug on your life support, they can't afford the medical bills anymore.
twitch chat
August 2017
Sneaky

lul EU.... I guess

twitchquotes: Lost to EU in Twitch Rivals FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at Worlds FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at MSI FeelsBadMan Only 1 NA mid next season FeelsBadMan lul EU.... I guess FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
December 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

If Jeff Bezos gave everyone on this planet $1 billion

Jeff Bezos net worth is $185.3 Billion There is 7.8 billion people on earth If he gave everyone on this planet $1 billion, he would still have $177.5 billion This is why we must #TaxTheRich
August 2021

You guys need to remove the American flags from the courtroom in NoPixel

You guys 👨 need to remove ❌ the American flags 🇺🇸 and seals from the courtroom 👨 ⚖️ in nopixel. your idea of court 👩 ⚖️ does not represent the American 🇺🇸 judicial system at all and serves only as propaganda 🧐 and is perverting the sense of the judicial system to impressionable youth 👶 . to protect yourselves 🩹 you should probably fix 🔨 it before it becomes an actual legal problem just a heads up 👨 🆙 considering you guys are European 🇪🇺
December 2021

GTA RP

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Both dudes

twitchquotes: (‿ˠ‿) _(‿ˠ‿) only the chosen one can fist both dudes . ⎝ KappaPride
twitch chat
October 2018

KappaPride

SKT logo

twitchquotes: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠸⣔⠀⠤⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⠀⡠⢔⡿⠀⠀⢀⡀⠤⠐⣢⠇ ⠀⠘⢍⡐⠂⠴⣌⣁⢐⣧⡶⠆⠀⢠⡶⠦⣾⣒⠁⠁⣼⢃⣈⡡⠧⠐⢂⡩⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⢯⡀⠘⠢⡌⠉⡸⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⠀⠧⠀⢰⡏⢤⠐⠃⣀⡽⠉⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢌⣁⠑⢲⠓⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⡘⠆⠀⡿⠒⢉⣉⡠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣹⣁⣀⣀⣽⠀⢀⣴⣈⣀⣠⡟⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

SMOrc me chat SMOrc goats bad

twitchquotes: SMOrc me chat SMOrc goats bad SMOrc c9 SMOrc gift pass
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Grow up chat, grow up

twitchquotes: This chat disgusts me. 40% of the chat are 41 year olds pretending to be 14. The other 40% are 14 year olds pretending to be 41. And the remaining 30% just copy pastes the longest message they can find in the chat. Grow up chat, grow up
twitch chat
March 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

Twitch chat is so retarded

twitchquotes: Twitch chat is so retarded they are like parrots they copy paste everything
twitch chat
November 2014

I hate Twitch Chat

What happened to this ad? :(

Just me and EA hanging out

twitchquotes: Just me and 💰💕EA💕💰, hanging out I wanted some Star Wars🌟 so I started to pout 😞 He asked if I was down ⬇for something yummy 😍🍆 and I asked what and he said he'd give me his 💰💦looties!💦💰 Yeah! Yeah!💕💦 I earn them!💦 I buy them!💦 I purchase them whole💦💰 😍 It makes 💰💘EA💘💰 😊happy😊 so it's my only goal... 💕💦😫Harder EA! Harder EA! 😫💦💕 1 lootie💦, 2 lootie💦💦, 3 lootie💦💦💦, 4💦💦💦💦 I'm 💰💘EA's💘💰 👑Disney princess 👑but I'm also a consumer whore! 💟 He makes me OP💗!He makes me feel good💜! 💘💘💘He makes me feel everything a whale should!~ 💘💘💘 👑💦💘Wa-What!💘💦👑
twitch chat
November 2017

Annoying Lit mobile YouTube ad

twitchquotes: So lit mobile just sent me this solar wireless battery pack, I'm excited, lets see whats inside. I really like the build its got really nice grips on the side, its shock proof, and water resistant. The power bank has 20,000 milliamps which can fully charge your phone up to eight times. Its also got a convenient loop for carrying. on the back of the device we have a bunch of solar panels which can charge the battery bank in about 60 minutes. On the top of the device, there are 3 usb ports and 2 of them are fast charging. If you hit the power button 2 times, the led light comes on. If you hit the power button once, the led lights will tell you how much battery you have. There's a micro usb port on the side for fast charging. My favorite part of this device is that it charges my phone wirelessly. there's a red light indicator at the top to let you know that your phone is charging.
twitch chat
May 2020

Trump wakes up chained to the wall

twitchquotes: Trump wakes up chained to the wall of a small room with Kripp standing over him. Orange Juice begins pouring from the walls, quickly filling the space. Trump screams in horror as he struggles to get free. Kripp walks out, shuts the door and sits down to begin his stream, the white wall of the death chamber visible behind him for all his viewers to see
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

RIP Hugh Hefner emojipasta

Rosa sat🚌 so I could walk🚶🏾 MLK walked🚶🏾🚶🏾 so I could run🏃🏾Obama ran🇺🇸🏃🏾🏃🏾🏃🏾 so I could fly🙏🏽🦅🦅 Hugh👴🏻 died💀☠️ so I could nut😫🐇🍆💦💦 #RIP
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

I used to be a real ad

This is the Vegan Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the Vegan Police. We have reason to suspect the food you just ate was not entirely Vegan. Please prepare a stool sample promptly. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing