[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
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Stop the Rick and Morty copypastas

twitchquotes: Just shut the fuck up. This copypasta was never even funny to begin with. I've never even seen the show, and it was obviously a joke. What kind of idiot do you have to be to think that was ever said seriously? But it makes fun of something which is popular, and therefore popular to shit on among the contrarians on Reddit. Come on, really. I actually do have to wonder about the IQs of people who like that pretentious copypasta. You know, I sometimes can't help but superiorly smirk as I imagine their dumb faces struggling to understand words on a mere internet webpage. In fact, I sometimes find myself in paroxysms of ironic Schadenfreude as I envision the visages of the aforementioned Slow-in-the-minds waging war with the Cultural Artifact they proclaim to be analyzing, only to fall, slack-jawed, back into their insensate stupor, the proverbial Undiscovered Country, "from whose bourn no traveler returns" .
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Please put an NSFW tag on this

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
December 2021

Reddit

Did you ever hear the tragedy of xQc?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of xQc? I thought not. It's not a story the OWL casters would tell you. It's a tank legend. xQc was a tank main, so powerful and so wise he could use his shield to influence the DPS to do their jobs.. He had such a knowledge of the shields that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The tank mains of the game is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was getting banned for toxicity, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reported him to blizzard in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.
twitch chat
May 2019
xQcOW

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Overwatch

When I was 13, I came out to my parents as a Morbius male.

When i was 13, i came out to my parents as a morbius male. They couldnt accept my morbality, so they sent me off to camp. They just didnt understand— i was morbed that way. At the camp, they gave us electromorb therapy to morb us into beta males. I resisted the treatment, being a morbius male, you cant morb me out of being morbed. I fooled the counselors into thinking they had successfully morbed be into a beta male, and i returned home. To this day, i live a double life— one for my parents, who still cannot accept morbality, and one where its always morbin time.
June 2022

Morbius

POV: you get approached by the weaboo kid

🚶‍♂️are you the👁👄👁new girl😜heh☺️ i thought so😌i’ve never seen👀 you before🤔 cone e chee wah ✋🏻 i’m david-kun😚it’s so nice😛to finally meet you🤪you look just like😳my waifu🥵HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹anyways😐i’m so sorry😔about the jerks😡in class😤theyre all👊🏻BAKA👊🏻they only want😭one thing😫not me🥴i just like🤓to watch📺my favourite anime😍jiu jitsu kaisen😍and read manga😎mmmalso👉🏻👈🏻ithinkyourereallycool😅kawaee desu neigh😳🐴HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹nghuuh😣i’m sorry😤i’m just nervous😭okay😡it’s just😉well😋it’s just🥵mm I JUST WANT TO KNOW🤔IF I CAN SUCK👅ON YOUR NIPPLETS🤭OKAY❓well😰what do you 👊🏻👊🏻NNGGGH😵
February 2021

Weebs

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