[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hungrybox at a grocery store

I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and rested me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
January 2019
Hungrybox

Super Smash Bros

ONLY A TRUE VIEWBOT CAN WEAR THE ANTENNA

twitchquotes: ONLY TheTick A TRUE VIEWBOT CAN WEAR THE ANTENNA MrDestructoid
twitch chat
September 2017

Viewbots

GME short squeeze

Lets dumb this down for you apes: - Let's say 5 banana's currently cost 10 dollar - One ape on the market has 5 banana's - Snake asks to borrow 5 banana's for a bit and instead sells the 5 banana's thinking price will go down soon (shorting). he thinks he can buy them later for less and give them back to ape, so he make's profit on the difference. - Group of apes notice what stupid snakes are doing and decide to buy all banana's on the market until snakes have no other choice than to buy from the group of apes in order to return what they borrowed - If group of apes stay strong then price will go 🚀🚀🚀
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021

HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY

twitchquotes: 🚨🚨🚨HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY to all my freedom🗽loving hoes💦👅👅👅who put the 🍑in IM🍑MENT😛😛😛looks like donald💰🤮finally got caught👩‍✈️👨‍✈️trying to call daddy ukraine🇺🇦🇺🇦 to take out hoe biden🧓🏻🔥 but now we need to RIDE🏇CUMgress 🏛raw😩😩👅👅 so they can’t back down️, send this to🔟of your💃🏻wokest📝woes🔥🍌or say 👋BYE to ur independence🙏🏻😩eating that IMPEACHMENT🇺🇸DAY🇺🇸ASS 🍑is the only️ ethical👌form of consumption😋😋😋under late capitalism💸💵💴💶so WE’RE ALL EATING TODAY☭☭☭️🍆🔥💦👅
twitch chat
December 2019
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing