[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Holding Galactic Virgins

Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces it’s changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution. Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Billy the Puppet (from Saw)

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–€β”€β–„β”€β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–„β”€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–€β–„β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–„β–€β–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€ β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–’β–’β–β–β–β– β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–’β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–’β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–’β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–’β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ───────▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒─────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€
September 2021

Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021

Grand Widow Faerlina needs a new succubus

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's οΌ§ο½’ο½ο½Žο½„ Widow οΌ¦ο½ο½…ο½’ο½Œο½‰ο½Žο½οΌŽ οΌ© ο½Žο½…ο½…ο½„ a ο½Žο½…ο½— succubus to ο½Œο½…ο½ο½„ my ο½ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½™ο½”ο½…ο½“ ο½ο½Žο½„ οΌ© was ο½—ο½ο½Žο½„ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ if οΌ²ο½ο½Žο½‰ο½ ο½—ο½ο½•ο½Œο½„ be ο½‰ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½’ο½…ο½“ο½”ο½…ο½„οΌŸ οΌ© ο½ˆο½…ο½ο½’ο½„ ο½“ο½ˆο½… is an ο½ο½ο½ο½šο½‰ο½Žο½‡ ο½“ο½•ο½ƒο½ƒο½•ο½‚ο½•ο½“οΌŽ οΌ΄ο½ˆο½ο½Žο½‹ο½“ for ο½ο½“ο½‹ο½‰ο½Žο½‡οΌ οΌ«ο½Žο½…ο½…ο½Œο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½ before me ο½—ο½ο½’ο½ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½οΌ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing