[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Ben Shapiro Kung Fu Fighting

Let's say for a minute, that hypothetically, everyone was in fact kung fu fighting. Now statistically speaking of course, this is impossible. Now hypothetically if they were, hypothetically of course. Now, would they all be performing the same so called Kung Fu move? Statistically speaking that is highly unlikely. This would also, hypothetically, be quite dangerous if it were to actually occur. Coming from a medical official, my wife, who is a doctor, she says that hypothetically, this would be dangerous. So, logically, this would not happen. So in fact, there is no way, impossible even, that everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

There was a bug in the toilet

twitchquotes: WHEN I SAT DOWN ⬇️ TO PEE 🧘‍♂️💦 THERE WAS A BUG 🐞 IN THE TOILET 🚽 BUT I THOUGHT 💭 IT WAS DROWNED 🌊👻 ❓❔❓❔ N WHEN I GOT UP ⬆️ ‼️IT WASN'T ❌ THERE 👉 IM SOBBING 😭 IS IT IN MY FUCKING 🍆 BUTTHOLE 🍑⭕ WHERE IS IT⁉️⁉️⁉️
twitch chat
July 2020

Ingrid Newkirk, leader of the largest animal rights group

twitchquotes: Ingrid Newkirk here,leader of the largest animal rights group,PETA.How DARE you soil that innocent dog's ears with the word "weiner" and "Dolly"?That's like excessively cursing at a newborn.The cops should be there soon.Bye.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone 2

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. Kripp said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter" or something like that. This made me a bit sad, but it got worse though. Kripp then said "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". I don't know why this guy was being so toxic towards me. He seemed to be a grown man living in a palace, but he hated me so much and he's never even met me. :(
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Sad Crewmate

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⢷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡟⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⠟⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣴⠟⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠁⠀⢸⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⠟⠁⠀⢸⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⢿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣠⣴⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢻⣶⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣶⡶⠂⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠉⠉⠙⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⢹⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠸⢿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣶⣤⣴⣾⣿⠋⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠁⠀
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January 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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