[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

There are too many people that call themselves what they are not

There are too many people that call themselves what they are not, including on this very server. The design industry seems the worst, but I'm sure its the same in other professions. Everyone with 3 months of some Google class, suddenly calls themself an UI/UX Designer, while the craft (especially UX) takes years to develop. I also know a lot of professional designers that have 20+ years of experience, and still don't call themselves experts. Lucky for us, the professional market also sees through those fake designers. So, hone your craft, become better, and stop calling yourselves UI/UX Designers, when you are not. Or Full Stack Developer, when you only do HTML and CSS. Or Open Heart Surgeon, when you are only a masseuse.
July 2022

DickButt

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
August 2015

Called my overweight female friend a heckin chonker today and now she won’t talk to me

My female friend was crying about how fat she was and I was trying to comfort her by telling her that she didn’t look that fat but she kept accusing me of lying to make her feel bad so I thought that saying β€œmaybe your just a heckin chonker” would cheer her up and lighten the mood but she just looked at me and left. I hope she realised that I was only being nice and that she is being irrational.
August 2021

Don't copy paste the name when you copy paste

twitchquotes: Devlinate: Kaiser_HS: snny_: DONT COPY PASTE THE NAME WHEN U COPY PASTE FailFish
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'βˆšΟ€3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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