[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian

twitchquotes: Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian, with a humble request to stop talking out of me. I know it's fun to pretend like you have any idea what you're talking about, and to pull random statistics out of me to support whatever point you're awkwardly trying to make, but come on! I have a hard enough time dealing with the vegan garbage in your digestive tract! Do us both a favor and use your brain once in a while! Thanks! - Assarrian.
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Classic

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
August 2021

This player is fantastic

twitchquotes: This [insert CSGO team or player here] is fantastic. Just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting a kill.
twitch chat
July 2020

Classic

CSGO

Marlboro

(Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…ΠΌΜ²Μ…a̲̅я̲̅lΜ²Μ…bΜ²Μ…oΜ²Μ…rΜ²Μ…oΜ²Μ…Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_( ﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞﱞ:
May 2014

Brofist

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆ β–„β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–“β–„β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–“β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
February 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing