[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Kripp's high time in coma

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is doctor Jeffrey Shih from the Athens General Hospital. You’ve been in a coma for several years now due to an overload of copypasta. I’m trying out a new method to get through to you. Please wake up! Your family misses you very much. Please wake up, you *** retard!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Bungie messages Dr Lupo about Destiny

twitchquotes: Hi DrLupo, it's Cliff, from Bungie. Yea I work two jobs, it's to afford my sick v6 BMW. Heard you were having some issues connecting to our game. Our records show you aren't on our Streamer Prime servers, with the notes 'Fortnite made you' and 'Tarkov Daddy' Flagged on your account. I regret to inform you only real Destiny streamers can play today. Feel free to submit an appeal, loser.
twitch chat
November 2020
DrLupo

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

Classic

Lenny face middle finger

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘HEY [name]β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘NICEβ–‘[blank]β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–„β–‘ ░░▀▄░░░░▄░▀▀░▄░░▄▀░░▐░░▐░░▐░▐░ ░░░░▀░░░░▀▀▀▀░░▀░░░░▐░░░░░░░▐░
March 2017

Spending New Year on Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: No Friends BibleThump πŸ‘ No Girlfriend BibleThump πŸ‘ Spending New Year on Twitch Chat BibleThump πŸ‘ Must be us chat BibleThump
twitch chat
January 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing