[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017
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I sexually identify as Rick Harrison

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as Rick Harrison. For 21 years I dreamed of working at my very own pawn shop with my old man and my son, Big Hoss. Call me retarded but I don’t care, I’m getting plasticsurgery to install 18th century muskets and vintage movieposters on my body. You can now refer to me as Rick Harrison and respect my right to not know WHAT is gonna come through that door. If you can't acceptme you're a pawnphobe and need to check your door privileges. Thank you for having a story and a price.
twitch chat
August 2016

Rick Harrison

I sexually Identify as

Fortnite default dance 1

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⣿⠿⠛⣶ ⠤⣀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣿⣤ ⠒⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉⣀ ⠀⠤⣤⣤⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣶⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣭⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣉⣿⣿⠿⠀⠿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛
ascii art
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Al salem Kripperion!

twitchquotes: Al salem Kripperion! This be brother Al-Saq-Quadir Prince of Oilrabia, in my country we don't have currency, we only trade in brofist. You have a magnificent one krippFist, I be prepared to offer 50 million USD for your amputated right hand forever preserved while brofisting, thank you for understanding Kripp, and see you in my dungeon.
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

I own a musket for base defense (Palworld)

I own a musket for base defense, since that's what the developers intended. Four Syndicate dunderheads breach my front gate. "What the Ignis?" As I grab my cold resistant metal armor and musket. Blow a pal sphere sized hole through the first thug, he's dead on the spot. Draw my make-shift pistol on the second thug, miss him entirely because it's crafted from spare parts and nails the neighbor's Rayhound. I have to resort to my Lamball and the mounted rocket fortification at the top of the stairs. "Tally ho lads" the shrapnel shreds two thugs in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off the neighbors alarm bells. Ready my metal spear and charge at the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the PIDF to arrive since thirty-seven stab wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the developers intended.
January 2024

Palworld

Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
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